Because of Lila

by Abbi Glines

  smell hit me and with it came the memory of her legs thrown over my shoulders as I feasted on her like a fucking buffet I couldn’t get enough of.

  She nodded.

  “You came on my tongue,” my voice had gone husky with need.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  I started to lower to my knees, and she grabbed my arms. “No. Don’t.”

  I stopped and looked at her. I waited for a reason not to. I’d never had a female ask me not to taste her there.

  She took a deep breath. “I’m not ready. I need time.”

  She wasn’t drunk. We weren’t at a bar. And I was acting like a sex-crazed maniac.

  “I’m sorry. I got carried away. The memory . . .” I trailed off.

  “It was amazing. But . . . I’ve been through other things since then. I need time. I like you, Eli. You make me smile. I don’t want to mess this up. My head and heart need to be in the same place.”

  This wasn’t just about taking our time. It was about Cruz Kerrington. I had his memory to compete with. But I wasn’t afraid of that. He had hurt her. I never would. I could help her heal, and I was patient. God, was I so fucking patient. Lila fit me. We complemented each other. We had the same ideas, likes, beliefs, and we would make an excellent couple. I’d never let her down.

  But she had to get over Cruz first and move on from what she went through. If I was going to give my heart to another woman I needed to know she wanted it. I could be patient and wait.

  I let my hands rest on her thighs. “Okay. I can wait.”

  She sighed in relief and hugged me. “Thank you. I’m so lucky to have you. Right now, I would be lost and alone. But you’re here and I . . . I’m really happy you are.”

  Lila Kate

  AFTER DINNER, I took Eli on a walk through town. He’d heard a lot about this place from Bliss, and he wanted to see more of it. The evenings here were very family friendly. Kids riding bikes along the sidewalks, couples walking by with ice cream cones to enjoy after a hot day, laughter from teens as they walked in groups, and most of them still wearing their swimsuits. It was the tourists, and it was what kept the area thriving.

  “It’s a vacation spot for the wealthy,” Eli said with an amused tone. “This isn’t like Sea Breeze. No condos just upscale coastal houses to rent. It draws a much different crowd. No drunk teens driving by yelling at each other through their sunroofs or rolled down windows. I like it.”

  “There are condos . . . just not like your condos. These are small and in two story buildings. Like that one there,” I pointed to what I was talking about.

  Eli laughed. “That’s not condos. You’ve seen the twenty story buildings in Sea Breeze I’m talking about.”

  I agreed it was very different, and he wasn’t even on the elite side of Rosemary Beach. That was secluded from the tourist. Kerrington Club was the beginning of the private area. I didn’t want to take him there. Not yet.

  “Lila Kate!” I heard my name and paused to glance around. Then I saw the red Mustang that Jace Montgomery had gotten for his high school graduation this year. I waved at him.

  “Wrong side of town, babe. You lost?” I ignored the fact an eighteen-year-old called me “babe” simply because that was just Jace. He was kidding. He was always happy, and I’d known him since his birth. I’d gone to the hospital with my parents when he was born.

  “I moved here,” I told him as he pulled his car to a stop beside us.

  “You moved to the town center?” he asked incredulously.

  I nodded. “Yep. Jace this is my friend, Eli Hardy. Eli, this is Jace Montgomery.”

  Jace shot him a brilliant white smile. “Nice to meet you, Eli.”

  “Same here,” Eli replied.

  Then Jace looked back at me. “You’re seriously living here?”

  “Yes, Jace. Above the building where I will open my dance studio.”

  Jace’s eyes went wide. “Damn that’s awesome. Last I heard, you’d skipped town and Cruz had gone after you. At least that was what Blaze said.”

  “I’m back. Decided to start my life here.”

  He nodded. “Sorry about your grandmother. I wasn’t in town when it happened. That’s why I didn’t come with my folks.”

  “Thanks. That’s okay.”

  He smiled over at Eli again. “Keep this wild one straight. Y’all have a good night. I’ll leave you to it.”

  “Bye, Jace,” I said. He spun his wheels in response and headed back to the other side of town.

  “He’s eighteen. That’s the only excuse I have for him,” I told Eli when he was gone.

  Eli laughed. “I figured that out pretty easily. I was eighteen once too.”

  The evening air was still warm, but I felt a shiver despite that. Pausing my heart did a funny little flutter, and I recognized it. Most of my life it had been reacting that way when Cruz was near. I wanted to pretend that I didn’t feel it now. That it was gone. But I glanced over my shoulder because I needed to know if my body was still betraying me.

  Sure enough, there he stood. His motorcycle parked outside my place. His arms crossed over his chest and his gaze locked on our backs as we walked away. He’d come to see me. The squeeze in my chest I felt because he was here to see me angered me. I wanted not to care. I wanted to be the strong independent woman who had moved on from him.

  But I wasn’t. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to find out why he was there. Look at him and wish he was more. To wish he was the guy in a fairytale. To wish all kinds of pointless things that I’d never have. That would never be.

  I didn’t though. I turned my attention back to Eli, where we were walking, the night sky, anything but Cruz. It wasn’t fair to leave Eli to talk to Cruz nor was I taking him back there with me. Cruz saw us. He knew Eli was here now. He also would know I chose Eli.

  Each step we took further away from Cruz my heart ached. It was all I could do to not turn and run to him. To beg him to be different.

  When Eli asked if I wanted an ice cream, I smiled up at him and said I did. Then I chanced a glance back. Cruz was still there.

  He needed to leave. I needed him to go somewhere else now.

  The Sugar Shack had a line out the door. It was the only ice cream place in town and it drew a crowd. We got in line and watched as kids begged for candy and other treats. Parents were on vacation and all smiles. The daily stress of the day gone. Many had a frozen adult beverage in their hands. I tried to focus on the scene around me and not look back.

  “This place seems popular,” Eli said.

  “It’s the only place for ice cream in town.”

  He looked surprised. “Someone needs to give them some competition.”

  I laughed at that, but took my chance to glance back at Cruz again.

  This time he was gone.

  The heaviness in my chest was there. My appetite for ice cream turned nonexistent. But I smiled anyway. I let myself be a part of the happiness around me. The sun kissed skin of the kids who had no worries, no heartbreak. If only life were still that easy.

  “Eli,” I said as I looked up at him.

  “Yes?”

  “I think I’m a waste of your time.”

  He looked sad for a moment, and then he put his thumb under my chin and cupped my face with his fingers. “You’ll never be a waste of anyone’s time.”

  “What if you’re wrong?”

  He gave me a small smirk. “Then I will have had an amazing memory of a girl who I was lucky enough to know.”

  If only his words made me feel better.

  Glancing back one more time, I looked for Cruz or any signs he would magically reappear.

  I heard Eli sigh softly. “He’s gone, Lila.”

  Eli Hardy

  EVERYTHING SEEMED BRIGHTER when you woke up to the smell of bacon. Last night hadn’t been what I had hoped it would be. Lila was hung up on Cruz Kerrington, and I did my best to ignore the fact she wasn’t completely with me last night. Her thoughts were somewhere else.
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br />   But I liked bacon. Stretching, I yawned and sat up to see Lila in a pair of pink pajamas and her hair in a ponytail standing in the kitchen cooking. That was a view I could spend the rest of my life enjoying. However, the more time I spent with her, the more I realized she was going to be the one that got away. The girl I talked about years and years from now when reminiscing about old times.

  “Smells good,” I said my voice still thick from sleep.

  She lifted her head from whatever she was stirring in a bowl and grinned. “Nothing special. Pancakes and bacon. But I do have fresh blueberries and blueberry syrup to put on them. Even some whip cream if you’re feeling adventurous.”

  I chuckled and stood up. “I’m always feeling adventurous. Especially with pancakes.”

  Lila’s gaze traveled down my bare chest, so I took my time reaching for the shirt I’d discarded last night. Let her take her fill. I knew my chest was impressive. I worked hard to keep my body in shape. I watched her, and when she realized she’d been caught checking me out she looked away and blushed adorably. I considered staying shirtless but decided that was desperate.

  Tugging my shirt over my head, I walked over to the kitchen area and pulled out a stool across from where she was working. “I’d offer to help but you seem to have it under control and it looks like you’re almost finished.”

  “I am. Want some coffee?”

  I preferred tea, but I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll get it though.”

  She turned and grabbed a cup. “I got it. Stay seated.”

  I watched her fix my cup. “Cream or sugar?”

  “No thanks.”

  She handed it to me. “There you go.”

  I started to say more when banging on the door downstairs made us both pause. Lila frowned and we waited then. Soon after, it happened again. She moved the skillet off the eye of the stove. “I think someone is at the door.”

  “I’ll check,” I said standing up. “You’re in the middle of all that.”

  “Okay thank you,” she replied and went back to finishing the bacon.

  I was almost down the stairs when I realized who I was about to greet at the door. It was a gut thing. I should have expected him to return after last night. Lila had been so busy looking back at Cruz that she hadn’t realized I checked to see what had her attention. The guy stayed there awhile. Her not going to him was a bold move but I still thought she was weak. Him coming here this morning wasn’t good.

  But this wasn’t my decision to make.

  When I crossed the studio and got to the double doors of the entrance, there he was. Exactly who I expected. Looking like he’d drank a fifth of whiskey and hadn’t slept a wink.

  I wanted to leave his ass out there. Safely away from Lila. From hurting her even more. But then she could have a reason to be mad at me. I wasn’t here to protect her. At least not from this.

  “Cruz,” I said as I opened the door.

  He pushed by me and headed for the back door that led to the apartment. I’d been right about the whiskey—he reeked of it. This wasn’t what she needed. He didn’t seem to give a shit though.

  “Are you trying to crush her?” I asked still standing at the door wishing he’d walk back out of it. He stopped and waited a beat before glaring back at me.

  “You don’t know shit. She doesn’t love you. You’re the fucking bandage.” The hate in his tone was a bit alarming.

  I shrugged. I wasn’t affected by his hate and I wasn’t scared of him. He was built. Tall. But he was hung over, and I had the upper hand. “I know she’s hurting. She’s trying to heal. But you won’t let her. You keep ripping her open again and again.”

  He stared at me. Like he would like to murder me with his bare hands. I didn’t move. I didn’t want to fight the guy. Lila wouldn’t be happy about it.

  “I’m not good enough for her. Why can’t she see that?” He sounded pained. Less anger more regret.

  “I think she can. But can you?”

  His hate flared back to life. “I love her. I would die for her. Take a fucking bullet for her. Can you say that? You barely know her. I’ve known her all my life. Loved her most of it. I just didn’t want to.” As he said the words, I could see the shock in his eyes. He surprised himself. I doubted he’d ever admitted that out loud.

  “You have a funny way of showing love,” I told him.

  He ran his hands through his hair and the wild look in his eyes was a man that was wrecked. “She’s destroyed me. I am fucking ruined. I need her. I’m so damn addicted to her I can’t function. I can’t stand her being with you. That you or someone like you will be the right one. Good enough. That she’ll belong to another man. I can’t fucking stand it!” he ended that with a roar and pulled at his hair like a man possessed.

  “You’ve had too much to drink. Go home. Sleep it off. Think this through and if you still want to come back.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t leave. Not with you up there with her.”

  This was worse than I thought. She was in love with a psycho. Why was no one in her life concerned about this? The guy needed some mental help.

  “If you love her then be the man she deserves. This,” I said waving my hand at him. “Is not that man. You’re a fucking mess.”

  He glared at me and started toward me. His fists were clenched at his sides, so I prepare to defend myself. I hated to hit a drunk man, but I wasn’t going to let him kick my ass either.

  “Cruz!” Lila’s voice stopped him. I looked over his shoulder to see her standing there. So innocent and sweet. This madman she was in love with didn’t match up well at all.

  He paused then turned to her. “Lila.”

  The tears in her eyes weren’t falling yet, but they were there. Unshed.

  “What are you doing?” she asked sounding like a teacher put out with an unruly student.

  “I love you,” he said.

  Her tears broke free then. “I heard.”

  They stood there staring at each other. I walked around them and back upstairs to get my things. I didn’t belong here. Not now.

  Cruz Kerrington

  FIGHTING THIS WAS impossible. I’d tried. I had tried so damn hard. But I couldn’t. Was I good enough for Lila Kate? No. Did she know all my dark secrets? No. Would she love me if she knew? Probably not. She’d hate me. I didn’t want her to hate me.

  She turned and grabbed Eli’s arm as he came back downstairs with his bag. His staying the night here had been the last straw. I’d cracked. My chest exploding would have hurt less than seeing her with him last night. Eating fucking ice cream, walking around town like a couple. I couldn’t stomach it. I knew after that I had to do something.

  “Just let me talk to him. You don’t have to go,” she said to Eli.

  “Yeah, he does,” I argued.

  She frowned at me. “No, he doesn’t.”

  “Yes, I do,” he said saving me from having to argue with her. Because his ass needed to go back to fucking Alabama and stay there. “This,” he said pointing between Lila Kate and me. “This needs resolving. I’m in the way, and honestly, I don’t want to watch any more of the train wreck.”

  I took a step toward him my hands balling into fists. Lila Kate was in front of me before I could take two steps. Both her hands on my chest. “Cruz. Don’t. Just go upstairs. Please.”

  Her big beautiful eyes were telling me to go upstairs . . . to her apartment. That meant I wasn’t the one leaving. So I backed away and nodded.

  “Thank you,” she whispered as if he couldn’t hear her.

  “Don’t touch her,” I warned him making sure he understood I’d find his ass. I’d track him down and make sure neither of his hands worked again.

  “Cruz, please,” Lila Kate begged.

  I turned and walked to the back door only glancing back once.

  “I’m sorry about all this,” she told him. “I never expected him to come here.”

  “But you’re glad he did,” Eli replied.

  “Yes,” she sa
id without hesitation.

  I left them. She wanted me. She wasn’t begging him to stay. Proclaiming she loved him. Crying over him. I hadn’t lost her yet. It wasn’t too late for us. I would worry about my secrets later. The shit I still had to end. Deal with. I’d handle it. For now, I just needed Lila Kate.