Love Like Crazy (Crazy Love Book 1)

by Carmen DeSousa

  Decision made, I darted up in the seat. My eyes were so full of tears, the world appeared to be one big blur, but I gasped in disbelief when I realized where I was and who was on the porch.

  My father rested his hand on my arm. “The boy deserves a chance to defend himself, honey.”

  Swinging open the door, I jumped out and ran toward the house. “Jesse!” I cried, falling down beside him. “I’m sorry I left … I’m just so mad … but I … I don’t want to leave. I just want to understand.”

  Chapter 13 - Jesse

  I didn’t look up as I felt Kayla fall down beside me, crying that she was sorry. Relieved that she was here, I wrapped my arms around her waist. Pulling her to me, I buried my face against her neck, breathing in her warmth, her smell. I thought I’d lost her. Tears filled my eyes again.

  I couldn’t look at her like this, so I just spoke into her ear. “Don’t be sorry, just listen. I never had sex with Morgan or anyone, I swear, but I did pick her up, because she called me. It was too late; I couldn’t stop her. She’d already gone through with the abortion.” I sucked in a breath, attempting to control my emotions. “And yes, I struggled with being intimate. My body always wanted to, but my heart didn’t. With you it was different, Kayla. I only struggled that first night, and then it was easier. I love you and never want to do anything that might hurt you.” I pulled back to look at her, softly squeezing her shoulders. “Did I ever try to make you do anything, Kayla? Even when our time together was up? Did I? How could you believe them? How could you think that everything we shared was a lie?” My eyes burned from the unshed tears.

  “I’m sorry, Jesse. I didn’t want to believe them, but when you didn’t deny being there —”

  “Don’t be sorry, just don’t do it again.” The meaning was clear, but I’d used her words against her again, and her mouth turned up at the edges. I forced a smile too, even though my heart was still thrashing in my chest. “Please don’t ever leave me like that again. Promise me that we’ll always talk things out.”

  “I’m so — I mean, yes, I promise.” She fell against my chest, and I folded my arms around her.

  A car door closed, and I was suddenly aware of the situation. Great, now this was going to be my first impression with her dad.

  “Mornin’, son,” her father’s resonant voice called as he walked around the front of his F-250 Super Duty truck.

  I stood immediately, pulling up Kayla beside me. “Good morning, Mr. Jordan.” I ran my free hand through my hair, trying to smooth it back. I could only imagine how pathetic I must look to her father.

  “Call me John. So, it looks like there was a misunderstanding, and maybe I can get some sleep after all.” He strode up to me, a half-smile on his face, offering his hand.

  I took his hand gratefully, surprised by his acceptance.

  “I’ve seen this before, son. Looks like I need to go have a chat with my niece.” He walked off. “Charity Jane!” he thundered as he entered the house.

  Gram stepped out on the porch. “The same thing happened to him and your mother after your aunt pulled a similar stunt. Well, not the exact same thing, but it was close. It’s the strangest thing, like déjà vu. Come on inside, kids, breakfast is almost ready.”

  “Thanks, we’ll be right in,” I assured her. I had to handle something first. I pulled Kayla back down to the step. I drew in a deep ragged breath. “Are we going to be okay? We can’t keep assuming how the other feels. I thought I was going to die this last hour. I truly didn’t know how I’d ever pick myself up from these steps. Promise me, please, don’t doubt me again, and I’ll never doubt you.”

  “I promise.”

  “What made you come back?” I asked. “How did you know I’d be here?”

  “My dad came back. I was crying on the seat, utterly useless. I had no idea. I think Gram called him.”

  I sat for a long moment. “Your dad …” I bit my lip and nodded as I took it all in. “I guess I better go try to make a good impression then. I hope Charity stays in her room, though. I don’t know if I could handle seeing her right now.”

  “Me neither,” she grumbled, glowering in the general direction of Charity’s room. “Why would she do this? Just because her boyfriend broke up with her, she felt the need to hurt me?” She shook her head in disbelief.

  As much as I didn’t want to defend Charity’s actions, I offered an explanation, “Maybe she thought she was helping you.”

  Kayla huffed. “How can you defend her? I don’t want to talk about her. Come on, let’s go. Allow me to officially introduce you to my father.”

  Conversation staggered for only a few minutes, and then John shot questions at me, sort of like what I’d done to Kayla. Instead of making me feel uneasy, though, it actually made me feel accepted.

  I told him what my plans were, as I’d explained to Kayla last Sunday.

  John nodded and gestured to Kayla with a smile. “I like this boy, honey. I’m glad I decided to turn around. So, Jesse, do you know how to drive a boat?”

  “Uh, yes, sir.”

  “Why don’t we hijack Charity’s dad’s boat and you can motor it out while I sleep?” He didn’t give me an opportunity to reject his offer. “Kayla, why don’t you make sandwiches?”

  Kayla nodded and smiled at me while scooting back from the table. I could see where she’d inherited her candidness.

  I picked up the remaining breakfast plates that she hadn’t been able to carry and followed her into the kitchen. I’d barely set the plates on the counter when she bounded into my arms.

  “He likes you,” she beamed, an effortless smile spreading across her face. She kissed me, and my heart fluttered. Earlier, I’d almost lost her, but now I felt even closer.

  “I like him too, and I love you,” I whispered in her ear. “I now know the pain it will cause me if I ever lose you. It was a severe wake-up call. No pun intended.” I frowned at my awful joke, but she smiled. She kissed me again, but a slight clearing of a throat made me pull away until I saw it was Charity.

  “Take a hike, Charity,” Kayla growled.

  “Can’t. I’m supposed to help you make lunch for our boat ride,” Charity retorted.

  Our? Kayla and I flinched at the same time.

  “Evidently … I have to go,” she added. “Don’t worry. I won’t come between you lovebirds. Oh, and incidentally, I’m sorry.”

  She didn’t sound sorry, and I was sure John had forced her to say she was, but I refused to let her ruin my last day with Kayla and an opportunity to get to know John.

  “Thank you. I forgive you,” I managed with as much genuineness as I could muster. I must have been convincing because Kayla looked at me incredulously, as though I’d lost my mind.

  “Well, I don’t,” Kayla hissed through her teeth. “You’ll have to be a lot more convincing for me to forgive you, and furthermore, I don’t need help making lunch. We can manage.”

  Charity looked up with guilt-ridden eyes, but quickly blinked that emotion away. After glaring back at Kayla, she strode out of the room.

  “Kayla,” I said, concern filling my voice, “I don’t want to cause strife between you and your cousin.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be gone tomorrow anyway. You’ll be the one who has to deal with her. Besides, we were never that close anyway. She’s only six months older than I am, but she’s always acted like she’s my boss. I’m sick of it!” She dragged in an unsteady breath and closed her eyes. Then her face softened, and I realized as before, it took only seconds for her to compose herself. “You’re right, I’m okay. This is our last day.” Her face took on yet another expression. She was so passionate. She couldn’t hide any emotion.

  “Don’t be sad, cowgirl, it’ll all work out. We’re young and have plenty of time.” I silently willed the words to be true. “What’s for lunch?”

  As I steered the boat, Kayla wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder. As much as her sounds and expressions spoke to me,
was it possible that she perceived the same about me?

  I kissed her forehead. “Thank you, Kayla. I was thinking about something sad.”

  “I know … Your soul speaks to me, Jesse. It’s like I can hear it when you’re sad. What are you thinking about?”

  “My dad,” I answered honestly. “We used to do stuff like this.”

  “I’m sorry — I mean —” She laughed as she tried to correct her statement. “I really started something, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah,” I said through a soft sigh. “You really started something.” I laughed too, wondering if she understood my hidden meaning. She had started a fire within me. “I’m really going to miss you, Kayla.”

  “It won’t be long.” She tightened her grip around my waist. “What with finals and all, you’ll barely have time to miss me.”

  “Yeah, I keep trying to convince myself that too.” I smiled, but it was with great effort.

  I pushed the thoughts from my head and managed to put on an authentic smile after a few minutes. It was hard not to be happy when there was a beautiful woman at my side, the wind blowing through her hair.

  I navigated the boat to Three Rooker, a sandbar that looked more like a small island. We ate lunch and took turns diving from the boat. John looked like he was enjoying the trip as well, which was good, because according to Kayla he never took time off work, let alone vacations.

  After lunch, I drove the boat to Anclote Key. There, we were able to have some time alone as we walked the boardwalk to see the lighthouse and traversed the island hand in hand. Charity, thankfully having no desire to see a hundred-something-year-old lighthouse, just stayed on the boat. John’s eyes lit up at the prospect, but he used the excuse of not leaving Charity by herself to remain on the boat. I assumed he was giving Kayla and me a little private time since it was technically our last day.

  “Jess,” John said as he extended a hand to Kayla to help her enter the boat, “how ’bout you meet Kayla and me for breakfast on Gulf to Bay Boulevard tomorrow morning.”

  I nodded. “I’d like that.” Inside, though, my heart ached as I realized the day was nearing its end. I quickly stilled the anguish, squeezing Kayla’s arm.

  John took over driving the boat on the way back, and Kayla and I were able to spend some quiet time together. Her school got out a little earlier than mine did, so she promised to come to my graduation, something I’d totally forgotten. I wondered if my dad would come too, but then realized it didn’t matter, as long as Kayla was there. She was quickly becoming my family. All my thoughts of the future consisted of Kayla and whether she’d be happy and approve of me, not whether my dad would approve of me.

  When we returned to the house, John asked, “Gram, why don’t you order some of that great Philadelphia-style pizza Kayla loves? This young man and I’ll go get it while the girls take their showers.”

  My body went on high alert. What would John want to talk about? Clearly, he had an ulterior motive in getting me alone.

  “Well, young man,” John started as soon as both our vehicle doors shut, “I guess it’s a little late for me to ask, ‘So, you want to go out with my daughter?’, since it looks as though you’ve had quite a week together. Leave it to my mother-in-law; she always was a matchmaker. My parents were friends with her and her husband. We came to Clearwater on spring break one year and looked them up. It was just the two of them the first night; they’d come over to the beach to go out to dinner with my parents. I didn’t want to go along. A night with four old folks wasn’t on my list of spring-break activities.” He laughed. “Surprisingly, though, I had a good time. Corinne and I hit it off, especially since she kept talking about her daughter and how she’d like us to meet. I didn’t know she had twins.” He paused to let that fact sink in. Kayla hadn’t told me that part of the story. “Brooke and Melissa were as different as Kayla and Charity in their personalities, but they were identical in looks. Brooke and I hit it off immediately, but Melissa … well …” He chuckled. “You’ve met Charity.”

  I nodded in understanding.

  “Corinne arranged for the entire family to return the next day and hang out around the pool and beach with my family. Brooke and I spent every day after that together, inseparable until the last day. I showed up at their house early, ready for a day just hanging around her house, and Brooke had promised to take me to Honeymoon Island. When I arrived, she trailed me out the patio door and started kissing me. Not so unusual. We’d found a few moments alone, but never at her house. Still, I was a seventeen-year-old boy. In the midst of making out, we were discovered, but not by her parents. We were discovered by Brooke.” John paused again, letting me absorb what he’d said.

  “And I thought Charity was rotten,” I couldn’t help commenting.

  “Yeah, imagine my surprise. Brooke wasn’t just angry that I’d kissed Melissa; she was infuriated that I couldn’t tell the difference. Well, needless to say, we worked it out, but only after I looked something like you did this morning. That was the reason I came back today. When Gram called and told me she believed you were innocent, and reminded me of the past, I knew I had to give you a chance.” John stopped at a red light and drilled me with a narrow-eyed gaze that had my pulse racing, but not in a good way. “Now, let me ask you something, son, did I do the right thing?”

  Surprised at the turn in the conversation, but wanting to be as honest with this man as possible, I stammered, “Yes, sir, I swear. I never had sex with Morgan. I was just being a friend.”

  “And you won’t do anything to make my daughter cry like she was this morning?”

  “No, sir! I love Kayla with all that’s in me. I’ll never hurt her.” It wasn’t hard to sound firm. I meant every word and wouldn’t be intimidated into hiding it. I’d never play down my feelings again.

  “Alright, then. And, Jesse, call me John, please. So, where do you go from here?” John pulled into the parking lot of the pizza restaurant, but he didn’t bother getting out. “Do you plan to keep this relationship going?”

  I wasn’t sure what John wanted to hear, but again, decided to be truthful. “Yes, sir … I mean, John, yes, with your blessing, of course.”

  “Well, you sure have good answers, son.”

  “Thank you, sir … I mean, John. Sorry … habit.”

  “Well, Jesse, let’s just take this one step at a time. It’s only two months. Let’s see how that goes, and then, if you’re still together by the end of summer, we’ll pass that bridge when we get there. But please don’t make any promises you don’t intend to keep. I won’t be too happy if I ever see my baby girl like I did this morning, understand?”

  “I do,” I answered emphatically.

  “Then we have an understanding?” John reached his hand out to seal our deal with a handshake. I accepted it, but then the large man pulled me into a half-hug. “I enjoyed being with you today, son. Let’s get our food. I hear this is the best pizza around.”

  “It is, sir, and thanks … for everything.”

  John drove us back to the house, mostly in silence, with only a few comments about sports. No more drilling questions aimed at my intentions with his daughter. Thank goodness.

  John was a Steelers fan, which I could understand; they were a dependable team. Although he admitted that when the Carolina Panthers were playing, he had to root for them.

  “A Bucs fan!” John smacked me on the knee. “Anyone who can stand behind the Bucs through all their ups and downs is definitely loyal.”

  He released a deep hearty laugh, and I realized how much I liked this man.

  When we walked inside Mrs. Johnson’s house with the pizza, Kayla was waiting on the couch, picking threads from an afghan. “Took you long enough! Where’d you go? New York?”

  I walked up to her and planted a kiss on her forehead, which I hoped showed her that all was well. She took my hand, seemingly pacified, but glared at her father.

  The rest of the night was relaxing. We sat around and talked after we finished eat
ing. I heard several refreshing stories of when Kayla was a child, and Charity even joined in the discussion a couple of times.

  As it neared midnight, I realized I’d have to say goodbye eventually, even if the idea sent my stomach practically into convulsions. I’d see Kayla for breakfast, but this was it. How had I become so needy in just a week? I’d never needed any girl … anyone. I’d practically been on my own since I was nine.

  With a forced smile, I hugged Mrs. Johnson.

  “Jess,” Mrs. Johnson said, “please feel free to stop by anytime.”

  “I’d like that, Gram.”

  She gave me a satisfied smile and another hug.

  John extended his massive hand, but pulled me in for a half-hug. “You’re gonna meet Kayla and me tomorrow on Highway 60 at Perkins, right?”

  “Yes, sir.” I didn’t apologize for my use of sir this time, and John didn’t bother correcting me. Instead, he stepped back, allowing Kayla to walk me to my truck.

  As soon as we stepped outside, I pulled her into my arms. “Everything feels surreal. Like I’m going off to war — or you are. Can you imagine what it must be like for soldiers to leave for years at a time?” Kayla kissed away my words. Wetness from her tears dampened my face. I brushed my fingertips underneath her eyes. “Don’t cry, cowgirl. Your dad and I had a good talk, but if he sees you upset, I’m in for a beating, I think.” I chuckled lightly, trying to cheer her up. I couldn’t bear to see her cry. “It’s been a wonderful week, and we’ll see each other soon, okay?”

  “Yes, I —” she tried, but her words were cut off by another sob.

  I was touched to see that she would miss me as much as I’d miss her, but it still made me ache. I nudged up her chin so I could look in her eyes. The water in them actually made the color even prettier. The depths of them so deep I could drown.

  “I love you, Kayla. Forever.” Her dad’s words, not to promise anything I couldn’t commit to, flashed through my head, but I was certain this was an easy promise. I knew without a doubt that I’d love this girl forever, even if she stopped loving me. No way would my feelings ever change. She’d altered my life completely. I dropped my arms, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I wanted to scoop her up and run away, but I knew we had to be responsible.