Whatever for Hire

by RJ Blain

  Malcolm seemed to be enjoying himself far too much. “What else did I do?”

  “Not much. The hardest part was making sure you didn’t wander off. No matter what you were told to do, you’d do it, so I had to keep a close eye on you. In good news, you stayed out of trouble. That said, we need to test to see if it’s worn off. I think it has since you’re coherent, but better safe than sorry.”

  As a fan of personal freedom, I wanted to make certain I had full control of myself, too. “All right. How do we test?”

  “I’ll tell you to do something. If you stay put and disobey me, you’re clear. I’m going to even give you an order you won’t like as a way to help make sure you won’t do anything you don’t want to.”

  “If I end up obeying you, I may be forced to kill you.”

  “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

  “Sounds like a plan, then.” I hoped I wouldn’t regret my consent in a few moments.

  “Good. Get naked.”

  I blinked. I blinked again, and my mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “You’re wearing clothes. Naked is the state when you’re no longer wearing clothes. Take your clothes off.”

  Malcolm must have lost his mind. Granted, if I could reasonably run into a situation where we both happened to have no clothes on without compromising my already compromised morals, I wouldn’t mind it at all. In fact, I was certain I’d enjoy it a lot. “Why would I do that?”

  “The pixie dust has worn off. See? It’s easy to tell. If you were influenced, you’d be stripping for me right now.”

  While he presented a good argument, I still frowned. “And if it had?”

  “I would’ve told you to go to the bathroom first and take a shower, which has been the routine for the past four days. I prefer my woman willing and in full control of her faculties.”

  Malcolm was a clever bastard, I had to give him that. “Dare I ask how many strip shows you’ve gotten?”

  “Disappointingly, none.”

  I found that even more interesting than his use of nudity to test the pixie dust’s control over me—especially for a man supposedly fixated on his ex, even if revenge and hatred motivated him. “I see.”

  “Pixie dust is an interesting substance. It often brings out the best and the worst in people. Most want to please others in any way possible. That’s why it’s regulated like it is. You’re different.”

  “I am?”

  “You followed orders since you didn’t have a choice, compelled to do things directly asked of you, but you didn’t go out of your way to make me happy. That’s what’s so annoying about pixie dust usage. Most people try to make everyone around them happy, too. No, all you wanted was to be near people, usually me. I think you like me.”

  Malcolm sounded way too happy about that for my peace of mind. Had he forgotten I’d been hired to kidnap him? I lifted my left wrist to show him the bracelet, but it was gone. I shook my hand at him. “What the hell?”

  “I took it off. I didn’t want it interfering with the doctors. Since you’ve brought it up, I have a question about it.”

  I scowled. “What? That thing cost me a lot of money, Malcolm.”

  “When you put that thing on me, were you aware I could have killed you if I decided to try to bust through it?”

  Uh oh. All the happiness in Malcolm’s tone vanished, leaving him colder than ice. “I knew.”

  “And the empathic link?”

  “I knew.” I stretched out my legs and propped my feet up on the coffee table. “It’s not a big deal. I didn’t pick up a lot from you, just a lot of anger.”

  “At first. Were you aware that the longer they’re worn, the stronger the link becomes? Where the hell did you get them? That’s high class magic. I had my suspicions in the museum when you decided to go all out on that asshole.” Malcolm plunked his feet beside mine. “You’re damned lucky I opened the bracelet. You’re even luckier I’d done some homework and testing. You’ve got the talent but little power, so I fed you some of mine through the master bracelet. I bet you had no idea you could do that, did you? What I don’t know is if the link is permanent, especially since we’ve both worn the controlling bracelet. I wasn’t able to find out in my research.”

  Shit. “I’m not sure if you’re trying to be overgenerous or not,” I confessed. “Or you’re just deluded. First, I’m not talented. I can shift. That’s it.”

  Well, I could awaken mummies, but if Malcolm forgot about that, I wasn’t going to remind him. Unless I could do it intentionally, I considered that whole nightmare a fluke.

  “Kanika.” Malcolm leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “You lost your temper and raised two mummies. Those mummies are now terrorizing a museum because they’re bored.”

  “That’s not my fault.”

  “It is, because you’re the only person the mummies even think about listening to. While you don’t remember this, you spoke to both of them on the phone and asked them to limit their pranks to startling people rather than reorganizing the exhibits in the middle of the night. King Tutankhamun demanded all his worldly treasures, and museums around the world are scrambling to comply, afraid he’ll take the pranks and chaos to them. It’s a disaster, and you made it happen.”

  If he thought I was going to accept responsibility for being shot, he was out of his mind. “It’s Asfour’s fault. It’s also your cousin’s fault. If he hadn’t come across as scum, I wouldn’t have needed to look into ways to protect you from him. I would’ve just dumped you in a pond across the country, taken the money, and run. But no, he gave me a bad vibe, and I have a weak spot for kittens and puppies.”

  He grinned. “Wouldn’t that make it my fault?”

  “Sure, you can take some of the blame for this. You’re the one who decided to pose shirtless with cute animals. He’s obviously jealous of your bare chest.”

  “Or he’s planning something. He’s been spending a lot of time with Caitlin, and she’s always planning something. She’s really not happy with either one of us right now.”

  “Oh, nice. Yet another person who has just cause to get rid of me. Just what I needed. What other bad news do you have for me?”

  “Obviously, you are no longer influenced by the pixie dust. It also seems your sarcasm is alive and well. Caitlin’s not stupid enough to do anything to you, not directly. When Satan himself says not to do something, she’s smart enough to listen. I’m probably her target. I have a few ideas I want to run by you. It’ll benefit us both, plus we might be able to put an end to this bullshit.”

  So much bullshit, so little time. “Which bullshit are you referring to?”

  “All of it.”

  “That’s a lot of bullshit, Malcolm. Be reasonable. Prioritize the bullshit. I really don’t want to drown in bullshit, which is exactly what will happen if we’re not careful.” I sighed. “There’s really that much of it.”

  “I’m willing to prioritize the bullshit. Problem one is Isaac Asfour, your aunt, and the other businessmen who showed interest in you. We need to figure out why you’re worth so much to them. On the surface, your aunt doesn’t exactly have an impressive portfolio. I have no idea what she can offer a man like Asfour. That leaves you or your parents.”

  “I’ve never met either one of them, nor do I know anything about them.”

  “Your mother’s the more likely candidate; she married into wealth after your birth. It’s unknown if your step father knows about you.”

  “Maybe you should live my life for me since you seem to know more about it than I do.”

  “Relax, Kanika. I’ve had several days to look into your situation. Add in your willingness to answer my questions, and it was child’s play to profile you. Your research into me was far more impressive, especially when you told me how you worked around my cousin’s misinformation. I did question you about that. I’m not sorry. Well, I’m sorry about your memory lapse. I promise to be upfront and honest about what happened while you were under the influence
.”

  If I went back to bed, could I restart my day? Since everything else had gone wrong already, I decided to take a plunge into the deep end to find out just how badly I’d behaved while high on pixie dust. “Did I sleep with you?”

  Malcolm slapped his forehead. “No!”

  Well, shit. High, drugged me hadn’t jumped him? How disappointing. I could’ve lived with myself if I’d jumped him. Him jumping me would’ve been another story—or not. No, definitely not. He could’ve jumped me, and I would’ve been just fine with that.

  Why couldn’t I just ditch the pesky morals already?

  I sighed. “Did I try to sleep with you?”

  “You slept on me often, but you only tried to relieve me of my pants twice. The first time, you sprawled over me, declared my pants were in the way, and passed out about ten seconds later. The second time, you stole my pants while I was showering and decided to wear them, so I wore my bathrobe for the rest of the evening. Don’t worry. Your dignity and self-respect are intact.”

  “Apparently, I’m an idiot when under the influence of pixie dust.”

  “But you were a very happy idiot. That counts for something. You also sleepwalk. I’m beginning to believe you need supervision even on non-prescription painkillers.”

  A change of subject was definitely in order. “I need a bath.”

  “Breakfast, too.”

  I hissed at him, lurched to my feet, and staggered to the bathroom to make my escape. “Fast food breakfast.”

  Instead of being properly cowed by my snarling, he laughed. “As you wish.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The exam tested my patience and took four hours, but when I finished, I was given the all clear to leave. An hour of the session involved a lengthy explanation of my operations and recovery. I couldn’t remember any of it, but it had taken two practitioners four sessions to repair the damage. I peeked at the invoice to discover the devil owed the hospital thirty thousand after insurance coverage.

  I laughed all the way to the rental, and when I spotted Satin leaning against the car, I fell against Malcolm, tears of mirth streaming from my eyes. “T-thirty thousand.”

  “At least you’re almost coherent. Almost. It’s not that funny.”

  “Yes, it is. Maybe that’ll teach him not to involve me in his scheming.”

  “That’s a fair point.”

  Satin sighed and stood straight. “You’re so mean to me, cupcake. How was your appointment?”

  “I escaped, and I don’t have to come back. I need another exam in a month, but any doctor with an x-ray machine will do.”

  “Going back to Tennessee?”

  “Yes,” Malcolm answered.

  “I have a proposition for you, Mr. Stew—”

  “Don’t do it,” I blurted.

  Malcolm laughed. “You want her in Georgia, and you want me with her.”

  “Have I mentioned you two are the ruiners of my fun?”

  I crossed my arms, ignoring the devil so I could give Malcolm my undivided attention. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because he made a show at the museum and publicly claimed you as his heir. He’s working on something in Georgia, so it makes sense he wants you there. It consolidates his position—and it puts you close to him if someone decides to target you. It’s a good move on his part.”

  Oh. Right. I flushed at my oversight. “And why would he want you there? And I don’t see what good that will do him.”

  “It must be residual pixie dust still in your system. It makes you a bit thoughtless. I’m sure you’ll remember your strengths later. You do have them. Try squinting when you look in the mirror. It might help.”

  The damned bastard dared to smirk at me. His pretty face, excessive generosity, and nasty mouth made him the ideal candidate for revenge—or a good prank. A good-natured prank would keep me amused while I came up with a better way to punish him. “It’s not my fault pixie dust is awful.”

  “I didn’t mind, although I do appreciate your improved conversation skills. You’re more interesting when you’re sparring with me rather than catnapping the day away.”

  I crossed my arms and scowled. “Why am I not surprised. No. Going to Georgia will ruin your work even more. Haven’t you been disrupted enough because of me? No, no, no. You’re going back to Tennessee where you belong.”

  The bastard’s smirk blossomed into laughter. “You’re so prickly today. Don’t worry. Arrangements can be made. I’ve made good progress catching up, and relocating to Georgia for a while won’t do much harm at all. I’ll take the opportunity to expand my operations into Georgia. I expect this to become a lucrative venture if I play my cards right.”

  Satin lashed his tail, and he matched Malcolm’s smirk. “I recommend real estate, Mr. Stewart. The new lost souls are learning their unlife doesn’t come with free rent or escape from the burdens of mortal existence. Employers are learning they have a new source of cheap, inexhaustible labor.”

  “Potentially profitable for the depraved.” Malcolm unlocked the rental and shook his head. “I’ll consider it, but I have reservations.”

  “Edwin Stewart has opened a factory in Savannah. He’ll need more property to continue his efforts. You might be able to convince him you’re there on his business. He’ll have interest in my heir, too. If he believes you’re there for his sake, he may lower his guard.”

  Malcolm hesitated long enough I feared he’d be sucked into the devil’s trap, but I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my place to tell him what business to avoid. Maybe I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t my choice.

  Damn it.

  “I’m possibly interested. What’s your proposal?”

  “Several things. I want you to buy all the real estate you can in Savannah and cater to the new undead. When you draft their leases, I have a few lines I want added to the contracts. These will put me in a favorable position. In some ways, it will benefit the new dead as well. I’ll acquire a slight advantage over several adversaries annoying me. I’m willing to pay you a management fee of ten percent over your active mortgages monthly for a period of thirty years. Upon expiration of our contract, I will purchase the properties from you at their market value at the time of sale.”

  “I’ll need a copy of the contracts. I’ll also need at least one angel to confirm the details. I’ll also require a detailed list of management responsibilities. I’ll be including a stipulation that you’ll pay fifty percent of all employee salaries for those hired to assist with this project. That’ll include all levels of employees from janitors, landscapers, and maintenance workers to landlord-level managers.”

  “Done.”

  “I’m taking Kanika home. Contact me in a week. Until then, we have no bargain. This way, I won’t be lying when I negotiate with Uncle Edwin.”

  “Deal. I’ll see you in a week, then. Oh, and in the interest of establishing a cordial relationship, I’ll gift you with some free advice. Don’t drive to Tennessee. You’ll be much happier if you fly, but I recommend avoiding commercial for a while. You’ll find there’s a rather disconcerting number of passengers who have passed their expiration dates.”

  The next time the devil gave free advice, I’d listen. No matter how stubbornly Malcolm fought against the extra expense, I wouldn’t let him win. I’d tie him up and drag him onto the chartered flight I hired. Never again would he convince me to go with what he wanted.

  Never again.

  I sat in the back row with a pair of rotters while a stewardess snagged Malcolm and gave him a free upgrade to first class. In a moment of pure stupidity and pride, I’d refused his offer to take his seat.

  Not only would I refuse to go with what he wanted, I’d accept his generous offers without guilt or question. Next time, I’d be greedy and let him suffer.

  In the ten minutes after boarding, my seat mates had shed bits of flesh, most of which landed on me. Had I not been in human form, my flight would’ve ended before takeoff. Green and black mottled the litt
le skin they had left, which wasn’t enough for my comfort.

  “Putrefaction is nasty business,” the rotter with the window seat said, and then he laughed. A piece of his cheek plopped onto the armrest between us.

  Maybe if I stared at the seat in front of me, I would make it through the flight without getting sick or fainting. Fainting seemed wise; if I fainted before takeoff, could I escape the flight altogether? I sucked in a deep breath and held it. I could handle an hour and a half crammed between two undead without throwing up or being rude to them. When we landed in Chicago, I’d have three hours to recover before the two-hour flight to Nashville. I remembered to avoid breathing through my mouth and exhaled.

  Clasping my hands together on my lap, I spent a few more moments composing myself before I asked, “Are you transitioning?”

  “I waited too long, so I can’t become a vampire. Maybe I’ll apply for mummification. It’s a real pisser, though. Vampires are turned in pairs, and I lost my spot thinking about it for too long.”

  Great. The rotter was a talker, and he seemed eager for a conversation. I swallowed several times. Could I survive the hour and a half? I hoped so. If not, I hoped ghosts were real, as I had plans to haunt Malcolm for subjecting me to a commercial flight. “I’m sorry to hear that. Why a mummy?”

  At least I had one useful bit of information; I hadn’t known Wishing Well was creating vampires in pairs.

  “Their goddess is a hot number, and I’d like to get her out of those wrappings of hers.”

  “Mummy goddess? Which mummy goddess?” I frowned, as the Egyptians believed in two goddesses who protected those who had already passed on, Nephthys and Isis. “Nephthys?”

  “Who?”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “Nephthys, the Lady of the House, protector of mummies, guardian of Osiris and Set.”

  “Oh! You’re a chaperone?”

  I peeked through my lashes. The rotters leaned towards me, staring without blinking, their eyes milky from death. “Sorry. I’m just a traveler with an interest in Egyptian deities.”