Not in the Cards

by Alex Westmore

“That’s where you’re wrong, Ms. Stevens. You’re the one who’s screwed. You’ve gotten in our way twice now, and I’m tired of you. It’s time for this little game to end. Now throw your weapon on the ground.”

  She knew she had no choice.

  If she insisted on keeping her weapon, they would kill the little girl. If she gave up her gun, they would kill her. The choice was not an easy one, but the decision had already been made. If only she could buy enough time, she might be able to maneuver around the odds that were very quickly stacking up against her. If only....

  Kneeling down, Delta carefully slid her gun about ten feet from her with the barrel facing the van and the handle towards her. “Don’t let me down, Carducci,” Delta whispered, rising from the road and staring at the silencer Rubin was still pointing at her. Her heart beat so loudly that it echoed in her head. Her top lip was wet with perspiration and her stomach felt as if it had found a new home, lodged in her throat. She had wagered more than she could afford to lose and now it was time to pay up.

  “My partner has the keys,” Delta explained, eyeing the gun held to the little girl’s head. The hammer was cocked and his long, thin finger was coiled around the trigger. Glancing down at her .357, Delta wondered just how big a mistake she had made. Would she die on the street behind a van, just as Miles had? Would they now use her as the classic example of what happened when you disobeyed orders and gave up your gun? What would Connie say when they told her that Delta had voluntarily given up her weapon? Would she understand? Would she know what odds Delta had tried to play? And what would Megan say?

  “I don’t know how you managed to escape Dice and Martinez, but you won’t get away from me,” Rubin said, straightening his arm as if he wanted the barrel of his gun to actually touch Delta. Up in the van, they were actually just over twenty-three feet away. To Delta, it seemed they were merely inches apart.

  “Step out from behind the door, Officer Stevens. There’s no more time to chat.”

  Delta moved out so that she was completely away from the door.

  Never in her life had she felt this vulnerable. No gun, no door, nothing between her and the grim specter of death.

  “Let the girl go. Better yet, take me. You’ll get much further with a cop as a hostage.”

  Rubin smiled widely. “Oh, you’ve proven to be much more trouble than you’re worth.”

  As though in slow motion, Delta shrugged as the barrel of the silencer swung deliberately toward her. As the silencer found its line of sight, she dove for her gun and heard a solitary shot crack through the air. Looking up as she wrapped her hands around the wooden grip of her gun, she saw a single bullet hole between the eyes of the thin man. As his lifeless body fell backwards, Delta lifted her gun inches from the ground, and took aim as Rubin shot at her. Stroking the trigger once, Delta fired one round through the top of his forehead, blowing most of the top of his skull off. As Rubin reeled backward, he dropped the .45. The only sound Delta heard after that was the clattering his gun made as it fell to the floor of the van.

  Still gripping her weapon, Delta yelled for Tony. “Carducci!” Rolling from her stomach, she held the .357 toward the field, ready to shoot again. In an instant, Tony was at her side, gun drawn.

  “Check for more,” Delta ordered, waving her Magnum at the van. Covering Tony as he finished checking the vehicle, Delta leaned in and helped the struggling little girl to free herself from the grip of the dead man.

  “No more,” Tony reported, pushing his weapon back in his holster.

  “What about the guy you chased?”

  “He’s cuffed to the jungle gym across the way.” Tony leaned in and examined the bodies. “Both dead?”

  Delta nodded as she stared in at the bodies. Carefully putting her gun back in her holster, Delta hugged the little girl close to her. “You’re going to be all right, sweetheart,” Delta whispered, pushing the hair out of the little girl’s face. The cherubic brown eyes that looked up into hers were not the same ones that had haunted her all those nights. No, these eyes were alive—afraid, shocked, older, but alive. Delta hadn’t been able to save Helen or Miles, but this time had been different. This time, she had gambled it all and won. Her jackpot was the life of the little girl clinging to her neck.

  God, it felt good to win.

  “She okay?” Tony asked, lightly stroking the little girl’s hair.

  Delta shrugged. “Physically, maybe. The rest of her? Only time will tell.”

  After bundling the girl in a blanket and resting her in the back of the car, Delta joined Tony at the back of the van.

  “How are you doing?” she asked. Laying her hand on his shoulder, Delta gave it a light squeeze. She remembered the incredibly painful gouge in her soul the first time she was forced to kill another human being. She remembered the all-too-lucid acknowledgment of the powerful responsibility she held in her left hand. She now felt that black, dark spirit covering her like a blanket. No matter how many times others would rationalize it for her, killing another person took away a piece of her soul. Her heart wore the heavy badge every day of her life, and now, she had another scar to remind her of just how dangerous her job was. A badge that Tony Carducci now shared with her.

  Turning from the dead men, Tony shrugged. “I’ll be fine. You?”

  “Shaking in my shoes and shitting in my pants.” Taking her mike from her shoulder, Delta called in briefly to explain where they were and what had happened. It would be mere seconds before the first of many officers would arrive to cordon off the crime scene. Delta looked around and knew she had to come up with something quick. Not only had she ripped the bust away from the feds, she had killed any chances of using these guys to get the big fish.

  Ah, but there was still one alive, wasn’t there?

  Maybe the feds would be happy with one little fish that might lead them to the one they were really afeter. Maybe. Her life was filled with maybes.

  “I wasn’t sure you heard me,” she said to Carducci as she checked on the little girl. Delta hadn’t noticed it before, but her hands trembled as she tucked the blanket around her.

  Stepping behind her, Tony looked in on the girl and nodded. “I heard you loud and clear. At first, I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I caught on.”

  “Thank God for that.”

  “That was some risk you took, giving up your gun.”

  “First off, we’re not going to tell anyone I gave up my gun.”

  “But—”

  “Look, you and I know I had no choice. But the brass? They won’t see it that way.”

  Tony nodded and let out a huge sigh. “I got it. CYA and all that.” Slowly turning from her, Tony stared into the van. “They don’t look real anymore.”

  Turning Tony so he faced her, Delta softened her tone of voice. “You had no choice. It was him or me. You remember that down the road when the press, IA, and even you question your actions. He would have killed us all. You did what was best.”

  Tony listened intently and nodded again. His powerful shoulders quivered at her touch, and she knew it was taking everything he had not to collapse right there. A stillness always followed the killing of someone, as though the universe were judging your actions. Delta knew that Tony was experiencing that silence.

  Inhaling a shaky breath, Tony swallowed hard. “For a moment there, after I first heard your shrug signal, I got kind of scared. All of a sudden, you were trusting me with your life and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. I was really afraid that I’d let you down.”

  Delta reached up and gently touched his arm. “I trust you with my life every time we go out on the streets. This time was no different. If you can’t trust your partner, you might as well pack it in.”

  “But how could you be so sure?”

  Delta smiled warmly. Traces of fear and fatigue from overstimulation outlined his handsome face. He was suffering from what the police shrink called shot shock, a sort of depressed condition that follows a shooting.

  “I
counted on your ability to shoot him right between the eyes. I know what you’re capable of, remember? I’ve seen you shoot. You were the ace up my sleeve.”

  “Really? Even after all my screw ups?”

  Pulling Tony away from the van, Delta heard the sirens and the screeching tires of the feds and police hurrying to join them. “There’s a trait in you that can’t be taught or learned, and that’s loyalty. You showed that the day you busted Miller’s chops. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”

  Tony bowed his head before gazing over at the van. “They look so....”

  “Unreal? Death is like that. It never looks like it looks on TV or in the movies.” Delta looked once more at the dead men. They looked more like wax figures than real people. Their arms and legs were sprawled in different directions, as if someone had deliberately placed them that way.

  “Do you ever get used to it?” Tony asked, shuddering slightly.

  “To what? Killing someone? Never. You do what you have to do to get home alive. Remember?”

  Tony nodded. “Lesson number one.”

  “That’s exactly what we did.”

  Tony stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked out into the field. “I was really nervous.”

  Delta nodded and rubbed his shoulder with her right hand. “Me too.”

  The two of them walked to the opening of the van. In the second that it took for them to squeeze the triggers, Delta acted as judge and jury for a man who would have snuffed her out like a waning candle. And though she knew there would be a final, numbing pain when it was all done, she did not regret for an instant making that call.

  Without thinking, Delta put her arm around Tony and pulled him to her. “You did great,” she said, feeling the sudden surge of emotion she always felt when Death brushed his frozen kiss past her cheek.

  “You were the one who took the chance. I only followed your directions.”

  Delta looked into Tony’s eyes. His young boy’s gaze had transformed into the deeper, more serious look of a man. “And do you realize that you did follow them? I told you east and there you were. If I would have thought about your disability, I would have said the passenger side of the car. But I didn’t need to, did I? Your timing was impeccable.”

  “Well, I had a good teacher. She once told me that timing was everything.”

  Delta smiled to herself. She really had managed to be good teacher. Odd...she never would have thought....

  “But I have to admit,” Tony continued, “that I thought I was going to shit my pants when I came around the car and there you were, standing in front of a gun with yours laying on the ground. You must have been scared out of your mind.”

  “Scared doesn’t begin to touch it. I’ve never given up my weapon before. I had to...well, I had to trust you.”

  Tony bowed his head and looked away. “Thanks.”

  “Tony, I wouldn’t have been on the streets with you unless I trusted you.”

  “What?” Tony wheeled back around and stared hard at Delta.

  “I said—”

  “No, I know what you said. You called me Tony.”

  Delta smiled.

  “I guess this means I’ve earned my wings?”

  Delta nodded. “And then some. Unfortunately, you might have earned them just in time for them to be snatched away.” Pointing to the stream of cars coming toward them, Delta shrugged. “We may look like heroes now, Tony, but by the time the feds and Internal Affairs get through with us, we may be begging for positions at the pound.”

  Tony stood as erect and broad as he could. “Delta, no matter what anyone says, we were awesome tonight. We may have pissed everyone off for doing the job they didn’t do, but that’s just tough shit.”

  Delta grinned. “Yes, it is. Unfortunately, we may be the only two who see it that way.” Delta paused and looked at the first cop who hopped out of a patrol unit: Jan Bowers, her previous partner.

  “Is there anything that can keep you out of trouble?” Jan asked, throwing her arms around Delta and hugging her tightly. After squeezing her so hard that Delta could hardly breathe, Jan pulled away and pointed a finger at Tony. “It’s damn lucky for you that this woman is in one piece, Mister. Damn lucky.”

  Delta couldn’t help but smile. “Luck had nothing to do with it, Jan. The kid can shoot.”

  Jan laced her arm through Delta’s and drew closer. “Good for you both. When I heard who they had saddled you with, I...well, let’s just say you haven’t been far from my heart.”

  Delta pulled Tony to her and ruffled his hair. “I must live a charmed life. No matter what happens to me, I keep getting great partners.”

  Jan stopped and pointed in the direction of a stream of headlights. “Let’s hope your charm hasn’t rubbed off, Storm. You’re going to need it.”

  As the first unmarked vehicle rolled in with a black and white following close behind, Delta inhaled deeply and gathered her wits. She was glad that both Tony and Jan were with her right now. She knew she would need all the support she could get. “Tony, no matter what, you never saw me give up my gun, okay?”

  “Gotcha.”

  “And don’t,” Jan whispered, masking any surprise she might have felt about Delta’s confession,“under any circumstances, deviate from whatever story Delta weaves for you. Giving up your gun is bad business.”

  Tony nodded. “Right. Anything else?”

  “Yeah. Let me do the talking. I’m a little too familiar with these kinds of scenes.”

  When the captain jumped out of the squad car and made connection with the head federal agent, Delta stood firm and noticed how proudly Tony was standing, so close to her that their elbows touched.

  “I thought you told your men not to get involved,” the tall, paunchy federal agent demanded of Captain Henry as they stood in front of the unmarked vehicle. Before Captain Henry could reply, the federal agent was issuing orders, sending his men scurrying like mice into the field and around the van. On cue, the yellow “crime scene” tape went up, cutting everyone off from the area, except for those already standing inside it.

  “Officer Stevens,” Captain Henry said slowly and evenly. Delta noticed something different about the way he spoke, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “Who killed these men?”

  “We did, sir.”

  Captain Henry glanced in the van at the two dead men. “Both shot in the head. Nice shooting.”

  Delta nodded. “Yes, sir, it was.”

  Looking into the patrol car, the captain kneeled down to touch the little girl’s head. She was fast asleep. “Killed two suspects and saved the girl?”

  “Yes, sir.” She didn’t know what else to say.

  “When I’m through with these fed boys, I’ll expect both your reports on my desk by oh-nine hundred. Is that clear?”

  Delta and Tony both nodded.

  “Oh, and one more thing. I don’t know yet how this van happened to crash, or why you chased after them without making radio contact in spite of my orders, or why we didn’t hear from you until this whole ugly episode was over, but you can be assured of one thing.”

  Delta swallowed.

  Walking up to Delta and getting within an inch of her face, Captain Henry scowled. “You two are in deep shit if you can’t justify every single move you made prior to killing those two men. Do I make myself absolutely clear?”

  Nodding, Delta replied before thinking. “Sir, does the end ever justify the means?”

  “What?” Henry barked.

  “Does the end ever justify the means to you?”

  Captain Henry opened his mouth to respond, but simply waved his answer away. “Oh-nine hundred and not a second later.”

  Watching him walk back into the thick of the investigation, Delta heaved a sigh of relief. After answering all the questions the feds threw at them, Delta and Tony finally got in their car and watched silently as Child Protective Services took the girl away.

  “We’re going to be fine, Carducci. Just fine.”

&n
bsp; “How do you know?”

  “Just watch. Henry is going to look pretty sweet when he stands in front of the press with the chief and explains how his department caught and killed child killers. His officers saved the life of another child, and are looking pretty damn good right about now, compared to the feds. We did what the big, bad boys in their suits and ties couldn’t do. Imagine how that’s going to look. You’ll see. Everything is going to be just fine. Politics is at work here and we’ve made a lot of the right people look good. That goes a long way in this city.”

  “I hope you’re right. Right now, I just feel like sleeping and hoping that when I wake up, it’s all over.”

  “Trust me on this one. By morning, we’ll be heroes. There’s not a cop in this world, captain or otherwise, who’s going to reprimand us for what we’ve done here. You can rest easy knowing that tomorrow we’ll still be wearing our badges.”

  Tony sat in the passenger seat and rubbed his face with both hands. For a long time, he just sat and said nothing. Finally, when he did speak, his voice was low and barely above a whisper. “Delta, would you think less of me if I told you I feel like crying?”

  Patting Tony’s shoulder, Delta leaned over and hugged him. “Quite the contrary, partner. Quite the contrary.”

  “Let me get this straight. After you and I spoke on channel one-eight, you forgot to switch back to open air?”

  “That’s right.” As was the custom in their department on cases involving the death of a suspect, the captain interviewed Tony and Delta separately before sending them both to Internal Affairs. And while there was no doubt that it was a righteous shooting, the fact that Delta had already killed one man made this investigation a bit more complicated.

  “Why do I find that hard to believe?” The captain folded his hands and stared over the desk at Delta.

  Delta shrugged innocently. “I don’t know, sir. If I had heard your order, you can be sure we would not have tried to apprehend the suspect or endanger the life of that little girl.”

  Leaning across the desk, the captain’s eyes narrowed. “I find that even harder to believe than this bullshit you’re handing me about not turning your radio back. You knew there was a little girl in that van, yet you continued to pursue it.”