An Innocent Halloween (Holiday Heat Book 1)
Page 9
Now, though, I was reevaluating as I watched Alex day in and day out with Tabitha. He wasn’t the first father I had seen interacting with his kid, and he wasn’t the first good father, either. But something about him—perhaps my own attraction to him—made me notice more. Made me look at my own life and my own relationships.
Would my father have wanted a relationship with me if I’d reached out to him?
Of course it wasn’t my job to reach out to him. I’d been twelve. How could I? It was the job of the adult to set a good example and to reach out to the kid. How else could the kid learn? It wasn’t my job to start a relationship with my father, it was his job.
But I had gotten older. I could’ve reached out to him any time during the past few years. Should I have?
Perhaps I… well. Staring at Alex as he picked up Tabitha and twirled her around so she could ‘fly’, I felt a twinge of envy for Tabitha. For every kid I saw in this ward who had a father that cared about them. Perhaps I resented my father more than I had realized. Perhaps I wanted a father like Alex, a good father who cared and put in the time, more than I had let myself think about before.
I pushed away those thoughts. This wasn’t the time to be reminiscing about my less-than-perfect childhood and my disappointing parents. I was at work, for crying out loud. I had to focus on that.
My work. My safe space.
I turned, leaving Alex and Tabitha to their fun, and went to check on my next patient.
11
Alex
I stood outside of the large apartment building, contemplating my options.
Was this really a good idea? A party would be fun, and I really needed to get out and socialize, but what if something went wrong with Tabitha? What if I slept in too late tomorrow morning and she missed me? What if…
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
I hastily pulled it out, heart pounding, wondering if this was the hospital, if my fears had been right.
But it was Tommy.
“Hey, how are things going?” I asked. “You enjoying the fun Los Angeles Halloween?”
Los Angeles in Halloween was… insane, to say the least. There was the massive Halloween party in West Hollywood where basically an entire section of the city was filled with people dressed up and getting drunk. There were the celebrity parties where people went all-out with their costumes, dropping hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars to transform into someone else for the night. There were the amusement parks and their Halloween nights but also local haunted houses staffed with all the best special effects people from the film industry. There were the late-night showings of horror films. It was absolutely nuts. In a city devoted to making movies, making monsters come to life, filled with makeup artists and dramatic actors, I would expect nothing less.
Halloween, for me, usually meant going out on the town with Tommy as we hit party after party. I usually had a couple of costumes ready to go in the back of my car so I could rotate, because why have just one costume when you could have four?
“It was interesting,” Tommy replied. “I, uh, I stayed home and I gave out candy to the kids.”
That gave me pause. “I thought for sure you’d be out at a party chatting up some scantily-clad model or something.”
“Yeah, me too. But I just was kind of… feeling a bit down, you know? I was thinking about how back when I was married… I never bothered to ask my little girl if I could go trick or treating with her, I never decorated the house, I wasn’t really a parent to her, you know? I never participated. I just went to work and came home. I feel like I should’ve done better by her and I know that handing out candy to other kids isn’t going to make up for it, not with her at least, but it did help… it helped me to feel a bit better.”
“Did you reach out to her? Did she reject you?”
“No, although I wouldn’t blame her if she did, she’s an adult now and my chance to really be important in her life and really… build that relationship, that was all when she was a kid and now it’s gone. I wasn’t there for her.”
I could understand that. If Lacey hadn’t wanted me in her life after I’d run away from home, then I would have understood completely. She’d needed me to be her family, her older brother, helping her, and I hadn’t been. I’d abandoned her. Sometimes, you made mistakes and the person didn’t want you in their life because of it, apology accepted or not, and that was just how it was.
But I knew Tommy to be a good person, and I hoped that, for his sake, his daughter would forgive him and agree to trying a proper parent-child relationship with him.
“I don’t have any of her information, so I tracked down my ex.” I could hear the weariness and frustration in Tommy’s voice and I winced.
I hadn’t been there for him and I would always regret that, although Tommy insisted I’d made it up to him by being there for him afterwards. Like all friends, I wondered if my being there could’ve helped things to go differently, if there was some way I could’ve supported my friend that meant that he would have had a better marriage or a better relationship with his daughter or both.
“What did she say?”
“She said I shouldn’t even bother. She said that…” I could tell from Tommy’s voice that he was trying to stay calm and tough, to not show any of his emotions, but some roughness, some rawness, leaked through anyway. “She said that she was happy and fine without me, that she didn’t need me in her life. And I get that’s true, you know, she’s an adult now. I understand. But… I mean, wouldn’t she want to give me a chance?”
“How was she when you guys divorced? Not your ex, I mean, your daughter.”
“She was always so self-contained; I didn’t ever know what she was thinking or feeling. I guess she was all right with it. There was nothing that indicated she wasn’t. We didn’t really have a relationship. I threw myself into my work and I didn’t really think about her.” I could easily imagine the face that Tommy was making, the one where he twisted his mouth up and winced. “I was focused on how awful my ex was being, I was focused on dividing up the property, I was focused on my work and how all of my business associates were treating me like I was going off the deep end because… well, I was. So I have no idea.”
“Well, you don’t know how she feels about you now unless you talk to her yourself. Your ex wasn’t exactly sunshine and roses through the divorce. If I recall correctly she was… well, we won’t speak badly about it but you know. I think that you should keep trying. If your daughter tells you that she doesn’t want to talk to you, then that’s one thing. But your ex sabotaged you, right? That’s what you told me, anyway, with the whole court proceedings, so—what’s to say she’s not sabotaging you now and just trying to keep you away from your kid because she hates you?”
“I suppose…” Tommy said, like he was mulling it over. “You’re right, I won’t give up. I’ll keep trying.”
“That’s the spirit. I believe in you.”
After we had hung up, I couldn’t stop thinking about Tommy. I wished that I could’ve been there during his divorce and all that. I only got back in time to see the end of it. From a work perspective, my time in Asia had been invaluable. I was able to make deals with people in China and Japan way before my competitors because they all trusted me over there, knew me. But from a personal perspective, I’d missed out on being there when my friend could’ve used support, and it was another one of my regrets.
Well, now wasn’t the time to think about it, standing in front of an apartment late at night like some kind of creepy stalker. I tucked my phone away and went up the steps to the building, buzzing the number that Pippa had given me.
“Come on in!” someone on the other line said. I had a feeling that it wasn’t Pippa and that the party, now in full swing, was just having whoever was closest buzz people in—whether they were on the guest list or not.
It kind of reminded me of those wild high school parties I would sneak out to attend. Things always got out of hand at those.
> Once I got inside it was pretty easy to get up to the right number. Besides the fact that I knew it, I could also just follow the sound of the cheering, laughing, and music. I felt bad for Pippa’s neighbors.
A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I made my way up the stairs to the right floor. It had been difficult to find a costume at the last minute, slim pickings all around, but a few hundred bucks given to one of the employees at the biggest Halloween costume store in town had helped—I was able to get a very dashing Zorro costume.
The costume came complete with a mask that covered up the top half of my face, which was why I’d wanted it. I wanted to be able to observe Claire and see what she was like outside of work before she realized I was there. I wanted to see if the person that I knew and was drawn to was who she really was, and if I would still be so attracted to her outside of the hospital setting. Often, when you were stuck in the same environment all the time, a person could become more attractive to you than they otherwise would’ve been. Like falling for a coworker.
I had never felt this way about a person before. It was honestly… a little nerve wrecking. And I didn’t do nerves. I made huge mergers and deals and risky business ventures for a living, it was literally how I had built my empire. A little adrenaline? That was nothing. I loved that.
This, though, this woman… she had a power over me that nobody else ever had. How was I supposed to handle that? How could I approach her when she was already making me feel wrongfooted, surprised, knocked for six?
I scanned the ground, trying to get a good look around to find Claire, only for someone else to step into my line of sight. Ah, the hostess.
Pippa was wearing a sailor costume that was… well, far more revealing than what anyone in the Navy actually wore, let’s put it that way. I bowed to her, flourishing my cape. “My lady.”
Pippa giggled. “You look amazing! Taking a night off from fighting the dastardly bad men of the wild frontier, Signore?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Thanks again for inviting me.”
“My pleasure! You having a good time?” I realized from the tone of her voice that she didn’t know who I was. Excellent. That meant that Claire wouldn’t either and I could talk to her without her immediately making assumptions because it was me. I was sure there was a more relaxed, fun-loving person that I could connect with if she would just stop coming up with reasons to throw up walls between us and judge me.
“Oh, yes, but I’d have an even better time if a certain… red-headed doctor is around.”
I saw Pippa realize who I was, because her eyes went wide and she clapped her hands together. “Oh my God, you changed! I thought you were going to still wear the Peter Pan outfit!”
“I think I humiliated myself enough for one evening earlier, don’t you think?”
“Ha, no, come on, that costume was so revealing it’d be perfect for a crazy party like this.”
“Definitely not my style,” I said, shaking my head. “This is much more me.”
“Mmm, I can agree with you on that.” Pippa winked at me. “Well, that’s the bathroom,” she pointed, “food is over there, drinks are over there… and as for red-headed doctors, well, I’m afraid there won’t be any of those around tonight. A red-headed nurse, though, you just might find, if you’re lucky.” She paused, then grinned. “And don’t leave any Zs carved into my furniture.”
“Will do.” I tipped my hat to her.
Pippa curtsied to me and then moved on through the crowd, trying to find other people and make sure everyone was having a good time. She was a good hostess, I could give her that.
And now—now I knew how Claire was dressed.
I moved through the crowd, ready to find her. Ready to settle things between us once and for all.
12
Claire
I came out of Pippa’s bedroom, my head already swirling from the drink I’d had. Pippa was a shot connoisseur the way other people were wine experts. She loved the nearly infinite combinations you could do with shots, and how insanely creative people could get, making Jell-O shots, pudding shots, frozen shots, layered shots, bomb shots, and flaming shots. She loved the one-two punch of flavor, the quick and powerful dose of alcohol, the head rush, the burst and explosion of alcohol, liquor, and whatever else you’d mixed in.
Personally, I had always been a bit more old-fashioned when it came to drinking. I liked a highball or a classic cocktail. Something that I could really enjoy and savor while chatting with people.
Pippa had rolled her eyes and mixed me up a quick Jack and coke. “You need to have something,” she’d said. “Or you’ll never relax enough to actually enjoy the party.”
So now I was feeling a pleasant buzz in my blood—not enough to make me do something that I didn’t want, not enough to not remember the next morning, but enough that I could feel my anxiety slipping away. It helped—and I needed it with the costume I was in.
I hadn’t had any kind of costume other than my actual doctor’s uniform, and Pippa had made it clear I wasn’t going to wear that. “You’ve known about this party for months!” she’d been telling me earlier.
“And I’d said that I wasn’t going!” Even now, stepping into Pippa’s living room and seeing everyone assembled, I was having second thoughts. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all. Maybe I should just climb out the fire escape and run home.
But I felt… good, too. I felt sexy in my naughty nurse costume. It was one of Pippa’s, from a few Halloween’s ago, and thank God we were close enough in size that it fit me because otherwise I would’ve had to wear my white coat and then spend the entire time paranoid that someone was going to spill their drink on it.
I smoothed the skirt of the outfit down. Pippa had said that it would be perfect for me, and I’d tried to refuse, but I’d also felt like… well, what the hell, right? I’d never done anything like this before, I’d never done anything except push myself to be the best in academics, in my work, and what had that gotten me? My job was fulfilling but I had next to no friends.
My mom would have hated for me to be at a party like this. Even though I was now twenty-seven and I’d been an adult for quite a few years, thanks. Now was my chance to relax and have fun. Maybe I’d even find some random person to flirt with, someone who might, somehow, manage to stir my blood enough to get me to stop fantasizing about Alex.
Well, in this outfit I doubted I’d have any trouble finding somebody interested in me. It was a tight white skirt with a bright red cross just underneath my breasts, which were peeking out over the swooping neckline of the dress. I had on white fishnet stockings, a little nurse’s hat on my head, and high-heeled white shoes. I felt practically naked. This was the most revealing outfit I’d ever worn. I had no doubt someone would want to come up and talk to me.
Would I want to talk to them, that was the question.
I took a deep breath and walked into the crowd. Pippa’s place was packed, filled with people. Some of them I recognized from the hospital, some of them I wasn’t sure, some of them I knew weren’t from the hospital, and some I didn’t recognize at all one way or another. It was kind of fun, actually, to see people in masks and with their identities hidden. It helped me to feel more free myself.
“Damn, girl, look at you! You look stunning, I knew you would!” Pippa appeared next to me, grinning, a shot in her hand. Of course she did. She was going to be absolutely hammered before the night was over, which was just how Pippa liked it.
“I look ridiculous,” I shot back, but I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks that had nothing to do with the heat of the bodies around us. I had never shown off my body like this before and it was kind of empowering, in a way, knowing that I looked good, knowing that everyone around me thought I looked good.
“You’re such a party pooper. Live a little! There are plenty of people here that we know, you can relax and hang out, for once. And there’s people we don’t know, if that’s more your style tonight.” Pippa winked at me. �
�But hey, if I were you? I’d keep an eye out for the man in black.”
“What?” That was out of nowhere. The man in black? What, like a government man? Like that movie about aliens?
Pippa just wiggled her eyebrows and then turned to go greet someone else in the crowd. “Pippa!” I yelled after her. “Pippa!”
Ugh. She was ignoring me. Dammit. What did she mean?
I looked around, trying to find the person she could be talking about. There wasn’t anyone around here in a black suit, so I supposed that she must have meant another kind of black outfit.
Wait. There!
Over by the beakers that Pippa had set up, looking around like he was trying to find someone, was a tall man dressed all in black—complete with a cape and a mask that covered the top half of his face.
To my shame, I recognized him, even with the mask on. I had spent far too long observing him and paying attention to how he stood, the attitude about him. And now after earlier today when I had seen him in that Peter Pan costume… I had memorized his body, his muscles, the lines and angles of him.
It was Alex.
I probably would’ve been able to recognize his body anywhere by now. Even if I hadn’t been able to see anything from the neck up. Dammit. He’d been haunting my dreams for the past month, did he have to haunt my waking hours too?
And what was he doing here? Pippa must have invited him. Alex was driving me nuts but he wasn’t the kind of person to crash a party, not when he probably could’ve gone to any party that he wanted. I was kind of surprised that he was here at all instead of staying at the hospital with Tabitha. He’d been dedicated to her this entire time.