Home by Summer

by Amy Clipston

  When she heard a meow, she looked down at the floor. Hank sat staring up at her, blinking.

  “Hi, Hank,” she whispered as she stroked his head. “How are you today?”

  “I think that covers everything on our agenda,” Mandy said. “We’d like to welcome Tena to our group. Tena is Emma’s great-niece, and she’s visiting from Indiana for the summer.”

  “Hi, everyone.” Tena smiled. “I’m excited to be here.”

  “We’ll serve the meal now,” Mandy said after everyone had greeted Tena. “Let’s eat.”

  Clara followed the rest of the young women to the kitchen counter, and when she opened a drawer to grab a stack of utensils, she felt a hand on her arm.

  “Are you okay?” Mandy whispered in her ear.

  “Ya.” Clara shrugged. “Why?”

  “You seem upset.” Mandy’s blue eyes studied her. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

  Clara glanced over her shoulder to where Biena spoke to Emma and Tena. She leaned closer to Mandy and lowered her voice. “I was hoping Jerry would come to church today, and even here. I’m just disappointed.”

  Mandy was silent for a moment, and Clara bit her lip, awaiting her friend’s assessment of her confession.

  “So you do still have feelings for Jerry. I was afraid of that.”

  Clara stilled. If she admitted she did—had everyone in their youth group seen through her?—would it get back to the bishop?

  “Was iss letz?” Katie Ann sidled up to Mandy with wide eyes.

  Clara bit back a groan. How could she admit to her two best friends that she had feelings for an Englisher? It was bad enough that she’d admitted it to Biena. But this wasn’t just any Englisher—he was Jerry Petersheim, her lifelong friend!

  Mandy spun toward Biena and Tena. “Biena, would you please finish setting the table? I need to talk to Katie Ann and Clara for a minute.”

  “Ya, of course.” Biena walked over and took the utensils from Clara.

  “Danki,” Clara said.

  “We’ll be right back,” Mandy told Emma as she took Clara’s arm and steered her out to the porch with Katie Ann in tow. Then she led Clara down the steps and out to the garden. She stopped at the end of one row and looked up at Clara. “You still have feelings for him.”

  “Feelings for whom?” Katie Ann looked at Clara’s face. “Oh. Jerry.”

  Clara groaned and placed both palms on her cheeks. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Most everyone thought you liked each other as more than freinden before he left the church, but you know it would be wrong to date him now,” Mandy said with a warning tone.

  “You’d be shunned,” Katie Ann added.

  “I know, I know!” Clara threw up her hands. “That’s why I told him I hoped to see him at church today, and I prayed he would be there. I thought if I encouraged him to come back to the church, he might join, and then we could date. That is, if he wanted to.”

  Katie Ann gave her a sad smile. “That’s really sweet, but it has to be his choice to come back to the church.”

  “I know that too.” Clara kicked a stone with the toe of her black shoe. “Mei onkel Norman left the church before I was born. Mei mamm still misses him. I was hoping to get Jerry to come back, not just for me, but for his family too. And I can’t believe he really wants to live as an Englisher.”

  “Just keep encouraging him.” Katie Ann patted her arm. “But also keep your distance. You can’t risk being shunned.”

  “Katie Ann is right,” Mandy said. “You can be his freind, but don’t let your heart get too involved. If he doesn’t join the church, you’ll get hurt.”

  Clara nodded as tiny knots of worry invaded her stomach. “Danki.”

  “Hey,” Ephraim called from the porch. “Are you maed coming in to eat? If not, I’ll eat your egg salad for you.”

  Mandy laughed. “We’ll be right there.”

  Ephraim disappeared into the house, the new storm door clicking shut behind him.

  Mandy gestured inside. “Let’s go.”

  “We missed you at church today,” Clara told Jerry as she rode beside Biena in his truck later that evening.

  “You missed me, huh?” He grinned at her as he steered the truck through an intersection.

  “Ya, I did.” Frustration nipped at her as she studied his coy grin. “I thought you might actually show up.”

  “I think he slept in today,” Biena said.

  “It would have been nice to see you at your home church,” Clara said. “Your church family misses you.”

  His smile flattened, and he stared straight ahead. A dense silence filled the truck’s cab, and it stayed.

  Clara ran her finger over the top of the metal window frame as she watched the farmhouses seem to zoom by. A summer breeze came through the window, and the ribbons on her prayer covering fluttered around her face.

  “Tena is nice,” Biena said, her voice finally shooing the silence away. “She said she’s going to be here through the fall now.”

  “That’s gut.” Clara kept her gaze focused on the scenery. “I’m sure Emma enjoys the company.”

  “Ya, they seem close. I’m glad Emma will have someone there to help around the haus,” Biena continued. “Tena can help her cook and do laundry. Maybe help with her flower garden.”

  Biena started talking about her favorite flowers, but Clara lost herself in disappointment. She stole a glance at Jerry, leaning forward slightly so she could see him around Biena. With a muscle flexing in his tense jaw, he sat ramrod straight, and his focus ahead never changed. She was sure she felt intensity radiating off him.

  Had she pushed him too hard?

  Worry replaced her disappointment. Mamm, and Katie Ann, and Mandy had all warned her not to pressure him, but she’d done just that. The notion of losing him forever stole the air in her lungs. He was her friend, her very good friend. She couldn’t lose him after just reconnecting with him! Guilt, hot and searing, sliced through her chest.

  Folding her arms over her middle, she settled back in the seat and tried to ignore the tears that threatened her eyes.

  When her farm came into view, she sat up straight and searched her mind for something to say that would encourage him to come back to Emma’s again. She couldn’t give up on him just yet.

  “Here we are.” Jerry stopped the truck by the porch, keeping it in gear.

  “Danki for the ride.” Clara pushed open the door and then turned to him. His expression had relaxed slightly, but she still saw intensity in his jaw. “Are you planning to come to Emma’s again?” She froze in place, awaiting his rejection.

  “Ya.” He leaned on the steering wheel. “The guys asked me to help paint her front door and trim.”

  “Oh. She’ll appreciate that.” Clara felt her body relax. “I guess I’ll see you both soon, then.”

  “You will.” Biena smiled. “Tell your parents hello for us.”

  “I will.” Clara looked back at Jerry and saw something new flash over his face. Was it regret? Did he wish he hadn’t promised the other men he’d help? “Gut nacht.”

  “Take care,” he said, but his tone was anything but encouraging.

  She climbed out of the truck, walked to the back porch, and then waved as the truck backed out of the driveway. She stood rooted to the ground.

  Would she and Jerry have dated years ago if he’d joined the church then? The thought of what might have been haunted her. Or was she kidding herself, imagining they would ever have been more than friends?

  Jerry lifted his hand and waved at Clara before taking the truck back to the road. He gripped the steering wheel with such a force he feared it might snap. All his confusion and frustration swirled in his gut as he recalled her words.

  It would have been nice to see you at your home church. Your church family misses you.

  She made it sound as if every Amish person had the same relationship with God, leading to the same commitment to the church. But he’d always struggled to feel conn
ected to God. That was why he hadn’t joined the church with his friends.

  “Clara asked me where you were today. She really missed you.” Biena’s words broke through his thoughts. “It’s obvious she cares about you.”

  Jerry sat up straighter, and his heart warmed at the notion of someone as special as Clara caring about him. Could it be true?

  “You care about her, too, don’t you? You always have.”

  He didn’t look at her, even as he slowed to a stop at a red light. “What would it matter if I did? I’m not Amish.”

  “Oh, please. You can’t deny you care about her. It’s written all over your face when you two are together. It is a shame you can’t be together, though. You’d have to join the church.”

  He frowned as he looked at her. “Now you sound like Mamm.”

  “Well, it’s the truth.” She shrugged as if deciding to join the church was the easiest decision in the world. “I think you and Clara would make a great couple. I never understood why you didn’t join the church and then date her when you were in youth group.”

  “Really?”

  She snorted. “Please. Everyone talked about how you two liked each other, and some of us thought you were meant to be together. Don’t act like you didn’t know that.”

  He ignored her assumption as he turned onto their street. He hadn’t known.

  “I just adore Clara. She’s so sweet and funny. And I’m sure you’ve noticed she’s schee,” Biena continued.

  Jerry had noticed how pretty Clara was, years ago, but that still wasn’t a reason for him to join the church. He turned the truck into their driveway and parked in his usual spot behind the barn. When he bought the truck, Dat had insisted he park back there so their Amish neighbors couldn’t see it from the road—as if the neighbors weren’t already aware of Dat’s non-Amish son. Only when he had to load or unload supplies for his mother did he park near the house.

  Jerry climbed out and met Biena at the back bumper.

  “You should seriously think about it.” Biena wagged a finger at him. “If you joined the church, you’d not only make Mamm and Dat froh, but you could date the maedel you’ve cared about since you were a bu.”

  “I appreciate your input, Beanie, but that’s enough lecturing for one day, okay?”

  She opened her mouth as if to protest his use of her despised nickname, but then she closed it.

  “Okay,” she said before moving toward the house.

  Later that evening, Jerry walked upstairs to the bedroom he rented in his uncle’s home, his mind still spinning with Biena’s words about how easy it would be to join the church and make everyone happy. He crossed the room to his closet and opened the door.

  As he ran his fingers over his old Amish trousers and shirts, memories assaulted his mind—sitting in church between Ephraim and Wayne and talking to his friends at youth gatherings, yes, but then laughing with Clara while playing volleyball, sitting on the grass and talking to Clara, and watching Clara mingle with her friends.

  All his memories of being Amish featured Clara’s beautiful smile, her adorable laugh, and her bottomless, coffee-colored eyes. But caring about an amazing woman wasn’t a reason to join the church. Didn’t he need to feel the call from God to justify asking the bishop’s permission to become a member? Wouldn’t he wind up resenting the church if he joined only to date Clara? The problem was he didn’t feel a call to any church—Amish or otherwise. He didn’t feel a call from God.

  Renewed confusion and frustration dug their claws into his shoulders as he slammed his closet door shut. If he hadn’t driven Biena to Emma’s house that day, he never would have found himself stuck in the middle of this quandary.

  He lowered himself onto the corner of his bed, and it creaked in protest of his weight. He had to stop torturing himself. He had a good life and a job he enjoyed. Soon he’d have enough money to buy a house of his own and move away from his Amish roots.

  But if he was so determined to shed his Amish roots, why did he feel a tiny thread of longing beckoning him back to the church?

  CHAPTER 5

  Clara smiled as she put two cantaloupes and a watermelon on the counter. “Would you like anything else?”

  “Hmm.” The middle-aged woman tapped her finger against her chin. “Those cookies look awfully good. And I’m thinking about those strawberries.” She waved off her own comment. “I’ll just take them both.” She set two trays of oatmeal raisin cookies on the counter, along with a container of strawberries. “How much will that be?”

  Clara pulled out a calculator to add up the items, and then the woman handed her the cash. “Have a good afternoon,” Clara told her after she’d bagged all the purchases and helped her load her car.

  “You too, honey. You might want to go inside soon. It smells like rain.” The woman waved before climbing into her dark-blue van.

  Clara took a deep breath as she looked at the gray clouds clogging the previously blue sky. It did smell like rain, and she was certain she heard a rumble in the distance. She looked toward the house, where Jerry, Ephraim, Chris, and Wayne had been replacing the rotten wood in Emma’s front steps and porch, but it looked like they’d already moved their supplies inside somewhere.

  For the past two weeks, before tackling the rotten wood today, Jerry and his three friends had been painting Emma’s front door and all the trim on her house. He’d been a dedicated member of their group, helping with all the projects Ephraim suggested.

  They’d spoken each time he came, and he’d given her a ride home at the end of the day. They hadn’t discussed his lack of attendance at church again, but their discussions had been cordial.

  If only he were Amish . . .

  Clara pushed the thought away as a clap of thunder exploded even closer than the last rumble, and then a mist of rain kissed her cheeks.

  When another sudden boom of thunder shook the ground, she gasped and hopped off the stool. She had to get all the food inside the house before the threatening rainstorm ruined it. She began to pack packages of cookies and slices of pie and cake into a nearby cooler. Once they were stowed, she moved on to the strawberry containers.

  But then the sky opened, and rain poured down, drenching her prayer covering, clothes, and shoes within seconds. She whipped off her black apron, but she couldn’t do anything about her favorite green dress.

  “Oh no,” she groaned as she worked faster to load the remaining food.

  “Let me help you.”

  The voice was warm in her ear, sending chills dancing down her spine. She looked over her shoulder to where Jerry stood, his hair soaked and sticking up in odd directions, making him look younger and even more adorable.

  “Danki,” she said.

  “We need to hurry.” He looked up, blinking water out of his eyes. “I think it’s going to get worse.”

  Another clap of thunder stunned her, and she jumped.

  “Right.” She finished packing the strawberries and moved on to the carrots and celery.

  Soon they had all the fruits and vegetables packed up. Chris, Ephraim, and Wayne, along with Mandy, Katie Ann, and Tena, joined them. The men carried the heavy coolers and boxes while the women followed with the money box and assorted items that couldn’t fit in the coolers. They all ran as fast as they could.

  When they reached the house and entered the back door, they stored the baked goods in the refrigerator and freezer and the coolers in the mudroom. Emma was waiting with towels, and Clara grabbed two.

  “You’re soaked.” Jerry grinned down at her as she wiped a towel over her face.

  “You are too.” She handed him the other towel.

  “Could I give you a ride?”

  “That would be nice. I don’t want to walk home in this.”

  “As if I would ever let you walk in a storm.”

  “Let me?” She challenged him with her hand on her hip.

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re incorrigible, Clara Hertzler. I’ll go get my truck.”

&n
bsp; “Danki.”

  As he went out the back door, she dropped the towel in the hamper in Emma’s utility room, wrung out her soaked apron, and then said good-bye to everyone. Chris insisted on standing by the back door with her until they saw the truck pull up. Then they both rushed down the porch steps and through the rain under Emma’s umbrella, and she climbed into the passenger seat. She shivered as she waved a thank you to Chris and then pulled on her seat belt.

  “Biena was schmaert to stay home today and help your mamm with that quilting project.” She rubbed her hands together.

  “But she missed out on all the fun,” Jerry quipped, putting the truck in gear and steering out of the driveway.

  “That’s true.” The truck bounced down the road with rain drumming on the roof above them and peppering the windshield. “How is the porch project going?”

  “Pretty well. The porch had more rotten boards than we thought, so it’s going to take a bit longer than we anticipated.”

  “It’s gut that you’re doing it.”

  “Ya, it is.” He gave her a sideways glance. “I think we’re going to repair the roof next. She showed us a couple of stains in the ceiling, and Ephraim says he knows how to replace the tiles.”

  “I think Ephraim knows how to do everything.”

  Jerry chuckled. “I do too. Or he acts like he does to impress Mandy.”

  Clara laughed. “I could definitely see that.”

  They rode in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Clara enjoyed the sound of the rain on the roof. She felt completely at ease with Jerry, as if the tension between them had evaporated.

  When they arrived, he maneuvered the truck near the path leading to her back door and shut off the engine. The rain intensified and fiercely pelted the metal roof of the truck.

  “I don’t think this is going to let up.” He scanned the floor. “I’m sorry I don’t have an umbrella.”