Az

by A A Bavar

  I looked at her, but there was no answer. I had nothing to say. She wouldn’t understand.

  Martha stifled a sob and continued. “I wrestled with them and pleaded for someone to save my baby, but no one moved. It was horrific. People just stood watching as my car kept sinking, but I was not going to let that piece of metal become my baby’s coffin. That’s when he approached me.” For the first time since we met that day, the hooded figure avoided my eyes and looked away. “It was simple enough, my afterlife for my baby’s mortal life,” she said in a whisper and turned to look at me again. “I became Faust.”

  “No! No! No!” I gritted my teeth in frustration. “The young boy who gave his life for Mary did it on his own. It was his choice, his free will. That split-second decision came from his heart and was his alone.” I pointed at Lucifer. “He feeds Man’s greed with promises of material anything – life, fame, and money and that boy relinquished it all.” I looked down at Martha’s delicate fingers. It was my fault. “He tricked you.”

  Martha shook her head and smiled, but her eyes betrayed her sadness. “I know. Mary got sick and we battled that sickness all of her life. We were cheated; Mary, from a life fully lived and I…”

  “Hey, hey, hey… I never promised a full and happy life,” interrupted Lucifer, and grinned. “You should always read the fine print.” He looked at Martha and motioned for her to continue. “Please, don’t stop. This is an Oscar winning performance. If I had a heart, it would be bleeding with sorrow!”

  I looked at Lucifer and if there was any piece of Man in me, it would strike a deal with him and then smack the grin off his face and break every bone in his body. But alas, I wasn’t Man and in no condition to fight, but seeing Martha unperturbed helped calm me a bit. Grief works like a shield since nothing can penetrate the black hole that it leaves in your heart.

  “But there was Kay to warm my heart and remind me that my sacrifice was worth it,” Martha continued, as if there had been no interruption. “If I hadn’t done what I did, she would never have existed and that alone justified everything.” The mention of Kay’s name made my heart skip a beat. Martha noticed the tension in my body and pressed my hand. “I’m sure you agree.”

  I nodded. If only the world had more Kays.

  “That day on the street, when you came to take Mary for a second time, was one of the hardest of my life. There had not been a day that I didn’t hate you and blame you for what I was forced to do. But it also, in a twisted way, offered me relief because I somehow fooled myself into believing that it would all end then and there and free me,” said Martha, and added with emphasis while motioning to Lucifer, “of him.”

  She took a deep breath, again choking back her tears, and in that moment I became aware of my body. My blood felt feverish and cold at the same time as it rushed through me. It was a sensation that I had felt many times when I was hurt and recovering, but never to this extent. Before I could do a mental check, however, Martha continued and my attention was once more fully on her.

  “Mary asked me to leave and I knew that it was time. It broke my heart, but she wanted to be with you alone, and although I couldn’t imagine why, I acquiesced because I trusted her judgment. How can you ever say no to the wish of a dying child?” She looked at me and this time the smile, ever so filled with lamentation, was real. “I’m glad I did because Kay needed you; needed you to protect her. But you also needed her to remind you of your humanity. Through her, I finally got to see through you and forgive you.”

  Martha bent down and kissed my forehead. “You were Kay’s angel in every way, and as time passed, I started to believe that the nightmare was over. I ignored that dreaded feeling of Lucifer always lurking in the shadows and since he didn’t show up personally, I didn’t go looking. I naively believed that he had no hold over me now that Mary was gone. But then he came, as I always feared he would, and made me the Lazarus of hell. To collect his debt, he resurrected me after you delivered my soul, and all I had to do was play a role, be the mistress of death to the angel of death. I loved you, but I loved Kay more. There was never any doubt in him that I would do anything to save her.”

  “Save her?” I said in a rage. “You condemned her by not telling me when you had the chance. I was the only one who could have saved her from him!” I forgot myself and tried to get up, only to fall back in pain.

  “Brother, brother… these souls are not there for your saving. They will always do in the end, what they want to and Kay was no exception. But I never had a chance with her as you should well remember.” Lucifer chuckled and from within the rubble picked up the shiny object that Michael had thrown. “I can see how you would imagine saving her from that vile man and the grip of death, but what Michael was trying to tell you was that…” he stopped and held the nine-pointed-star up for me to see, his eyes in complete rapture, “Kay is alive!” With that, he tossed the pendant and it landed just short of my reach. “You should learn to listen, not that it would make any difference now.”

  I wasn’t sure if I had heard right. How could that be? I saw Kay die. No, I actually watched her die through her memory. And the one thing that no being can tamper with is the memories of the soul. I looked from Lucifer’s smug face to Martha and back, and I could tell that what he said was true. The unnatural exultation that exuded from him was proof.

  “That’s how I saved her,” whispered Martha.

  “I don’t understand. I was in her memory… I felt her die.” My eyes quickly snapped to and from the pendant lying on the ground just beyond my reach. “I took that from Kay’s slain body. I wanted to make her killer feel her life as he fell to his death. But now…” My voice trailed off. I felt a strange fluttering in my chest.

  “He came to me,” Martha started, motioning to Lucifer, “and said that it was finally time for payback. I didn’t know what he wanted from me, but it didn’t matter because I wasn’t going to do it. Mary died years ago and with you delivering my soul I felt free for the first time in almost fifty years. So I refused. But then, he gave me this,” Martha touched the nine-pointed-star hanging from her neck, “and showed me Kay’s memory of that day years ago at school. I was terrified to find out that he had the courage to approach her even with you protecting her. But what shocked me even more was Kay willingly giving him Mary’s necklace to save someone she didn’t even know. And then, he showed me his memory and how you recovered the necklace for Kay – or at least what you believed was her necklace, and that’s when I knew that even with your protection she would never be safe. He was too devious and twisted; and she was too kind and altruistic. He would use that against her and make her give him her soul.”

  “I don’t understand!” I glared at Martha, but my frustration and anger stemmed from my own failure. “What other necklace?” Even as the words left my mouth, I knew the answer but didn’t want to acknowledge the simple truth; Lucifer had maneuvered me to kill.

  “Yessss,” hissed Lucifer, “that is the question. I had a cunning plan!” He roared with laughter as a black adder appeared over his shoulder and snaked its way around his left arm. “Do continue, child. Tell him.”

  “He tricked you, and he would trick her for her soul. It was as simple as that. I knew that I was trapped, but I wasn’t helpless. He wanted you, not Kay, and because I knew that there was a deal to be made, I made it.” Martha paused and lowered her gaze, and I saw a tear drop to her lap. “You were Kay’s angel. You would have done the same to save her.” She looked up and her eyes found mine again. “No?”

  It was true, I would do anything to protect Kay, but I was still mad at Martha for not having confided in me. In a calm voice, or at least as calm as possible for me, I said, “Tell me what you did. What did he want from you?” My mind was already racing ahead. I wanted to find a way to see Kay, make sure that she really was alive before it was all over.

  “He took me to a dark street and showed me two men lurking in the shadows. It didn’t make much sense, but when I saw Kay enter the alley
I knew that I would do anything that he asked for; he also knew that. And I didn’t care that he was manipulating me. If this, somehow, was Kay’s fate I was the only one who could change it. So, we made a deal. I would help him trick you and in return he would save Kay and never approach her again. All I had to do was take a leaf to a place he couldn’t go and then die in Kay’s place.”

  Lucifer had planned everything to the last detail. He knew that I would know he had been in the room, so he sent a simple soul with no footprint to do his dirty work and plant the leaf with Kay’s name on it. “What do you mean die in Kay’s place? It was her that I felt, it was Kay.” I put my hand in my pocket and felt the soft, suede-like texture of the leaf.

  “Yes and no.” Martha, for the second time, gently touched my face. “The pendant you took back that night from him was a copy. He had planned it all along knowing you would go and get it back. From that night on, all of Kay’s memories were stored on that pendant. That’s what you saw when you touched it.”

  I took out the leaf and looked at the letter M. Soon, it would be time to let the leaf run its course.

  “When I returned, after planting the leaf, I saw Kay running down the alley and for a moment thought that she would get away; that I made the deal for nothing. But for his plan to work, Kay had to die. That’s when one of the men got up and shot me.” Martha stopped and wiped the tears from her eyes.

  I looked at her and felt sad. For the second time, she had given up her soul to Lucifer to save others. She deserved more than becoming his mistress, but never had a chance. She was caught in the crossfire of my war with Lucifer; the war that I lost. I reached up with the leaf still in my hand and grabbed her teary-hand. As our fingers embraced, the leaf quivered slightly and we saw it glow as it completed its purpose. Neither of us, however, let go.

  “He kept his word and saved Kay. I don’t know how that happened, but I was one with her for that instant, the moment that the bullet hit. And then you were there looking down at me, at us. I wanted to somehow let you know, but the next thing I remember is standing outside the room where you were waiting. He was ecstatic, but still wanted more. That’s when he gave me the original necklace to use as a message. But I felt ashamed and hid it until it was time for me to take you to him.”

  Suddenly, there was a jabbing pain in my chest. My body shook violently as flesh, bone and cartilage tore and snapped all the way to my back where my wings had been. I could barely breathe, the pressure in my ears and eyes so great that I wasn’t sure I would survive. Slowly, I felt my body rise from the ground and float in midair as if suspended by my waist, my limbs and head pulled down like anchors. Martha let go of my hand and stood, but before she could do anything there was an explosion of blue light, and I fell back with a thump and rolled to my side exhausted. Martha was thrown back and was lying on her back on the ground by my butchered wings.

  In my half-conscious state, I noticed Lucifer look at me, and I saw that old-time intensity in his eyes. But there was also something else, a sense of urgency that had not been there moments before. “Story time is over,” he said, and walked to me. He was ready to deliver the final blow.

  Whatever just happened to me drained my body of its last resources, leaving me completely helpless and my eyes hazy and unfocused. I leaned on my elbow and noticed the light reflect off of a metallic object close to my shoulder. I pushed myself to my knees, on all fours, and picked it up. It was the fake pendant and I was immediately sucked into its memory. I could see feet dangling in midair off of a building and then the concrete floor rushing up at me. The body I was witnessing crashed to the floor but did not break. And then Lucifer’s raspy voice invaded my mind and broke the trance as I saw Michael’s fading image stand up.

  “That’s the perfect position, no need to move.”

  I felt the cold, steel blade of the scimitar rest on the back of my neck. I guess I wasn’t a worthy minion, or the fact that even as his slave I would make his existence a living hell wasn’t very appealing to him. Either way, the end of our war was what it was.

  “Before I send you on your way…” Lucifer paused. “Where is it that you would go? I’m not even sure. But there is a first time for everything. Anyway, I want to leave you with a lasting thought, impression, vision… something deeply disturbing and grotesque. An image that will stay with you, burned in your mind’s eye forever.” Lucifer chuckled and with his free hand motioned to the wall across the room. The surface of the wall rippled like a pool and slowly an image started to form. I was still having trouble with my eyes, but Martha’s gasp confirmed what I feared. Lucifer’s threat was personal to both of us.

  “That’s Kay in my home,” Martha said in a barely audible voice. “What are you doing?” Martha slowly got to her feet, holding her left arm in pain.

  Again, as if on cue, my heart skipped a beat at the mention of Kay’s name, but before I could say anything Lucifer interrupted. “I’m not doing anything,” was his silky response. “But that man at the corner of the street below, I’m not too sure about.” The image on the wall zoomed out and shifted to the street outside Martha’s apartment. There was a man standing at the corner. As my eyes finally cleared and I was able to focus, I recognized the branding on his face. How could I not? I gave it to him earlier that day; it was the driver of the sedan.

  The sound that left my mouth was indistinguishable, but its intensity caused the candle lights to tremble and dance. I made a move to get up, but the steel blade on my neck kept me in check as it cut through my skin and kept me on fours. I felt the blood gush out and leave a warm trail on my skin as it rolled down around my neck and dripped to the floor. This was what he wanted, what he had planned for so long.

  “Easy, brother, easy…” coaxed Lucifer.

  “But you promised. We had a deal…” pleaded Martha and took a tentative step toward Lucifer.

  Lucifer tilted his head to the side and looked at her amused. “And you believed me?” He pointed at Martha and continued, “You yourself said I’m the devil, so it only makes sense that you should know that when you’re in bed with the devil, you’re in bed with the devil. How can there be any confusion there? If my word meant anything, I’d still be an angel.”

  As much as I wanted to get up and rip my deceiving brother’s tongue out of his mouth, Martha’s penetrating stare was even more damaging. Actually, it said it all: don’t ever betray a woman.

  “Ah, woman, that’s a pretty cold look. I’ll be right with you after I take care of my dear brother. A trip to my humble abode will warm you right up.” Lucifer took a step to my left and raised the scimitar. “This time, it will be his pretty, little head.”

  For the third time that night, I heard steel slice the air as it came down on me, and I was grateful for how sharp Lucifer kept his blades. Instinctively, the muscles on my back and neck tightened as I braced for the impact that never came. Instead, there was the piercing shriek of a wounded animal. I looked up confused just as Lucifer’s right forearm and scimitar fell past my head to the ground. The shock of what I witnessed and the image of Martha holding my bloody scythe stumped me for an instant. But any instant is too long when Lucifer in concerned; especially a wounded Lucifer. I knew there would be immediate retaliation and I lunged at his legs hoping that he would engage me and not Martha, but my body was too broken to react fast enough. Lucifer kicked out his right knee and caught me on the side of the head, sending me sprawling on the floor.

  Martha lifted the scythe and brought it down in an arc aimed at Lucifer’s neck. I was surprised at her dexterity and handling of my weapon, and if it had been directed at anyone or anything but Lucifer, the strike was fast and precise enough to end it all right then. But this was Lucifer and to cut him down you had to be God. Almost in slow motion, he lazily lifted his left arm and used his talons to deflect the attack. Then, with a cruel smile, he impaled Martha in the chest and lifted her off her feet. Martha gasped and dropped the scythe.

  “No!” I jumped to my feet.
Before I could do anything else, Lucifer threw Martha’s body at me. I caught her and we both crashed to the floor. She was half on top of me with her back pressed to my chest. Her breath came in wheezing spurts and I felt the warmth of her blood as it soaked my shirt and ran down my stomach. Slowly, carefully, I slid out from under her, propped her against the wall, and got to my knees. I gently touched her cheek, and she slowly moved her head to the side and focused on me, her eyes already lost in the half-life of afterlife. There was nothing to say, but I saw that behind that curtain of sadness in her eyes there was a glimmer of relief. She was saved.

  “That’s the devil’s kingdom minus one,” she said in a low whisper and took my hand with difficulty. “Now go and save Kay and it will become minus two.” Martha closed her eyes and with a slight but confident smile exhaled for the last time as her hand slid from mine and fell to the floor. I let my eyes slowly wash over her face, her resemblance to Kay uncanny, and prayed for her soul. The sorrow that engulfed me, however, was because of my impotence to save Kay. Martha did what she had to do to give Kay a chance to survive, and like she said, now it was my turn to do the same; to once again be her angel. But how?

  I looked away from Martha and noticed her left hand still resting on her chest where she was wounded. At first, I didn’t see it but then noticed her clenched fist holding on to the bloody leaf with my name. I had completely forgotten about it and could barely make out the letters Ma. How could this be? There had to be a way for me to save Kay before my end. With a tremulous hand I reached down and gently retrieved the leaf. It was crumpled, folded in a way that hid the rest of the letters. I paused, my fingers caressing the softness of its surface, and a part of me wanted to leave it that way; it was what it was. The angry part that for so long had become my identity, however, wanted to see more. It wanted to witness the sentencing of my soul, my name inscribed in gold for services rendered. Slowly, I slipped my thumb under the fold and pushed the leaf open, revealing the full name: Martha. I shut my eyes in shock. Instantly, Michael’s image filled my mind.