The Xillian Trilogy (The Xillian Rebellion)

by Maia Tanith

  What do pure bloodlines matter to me? No Kargan in the palace has risked her life to help me the way she has. “Faye is brave and loyal. That makes her fit to sit at anyone’s side.”

  She shakes her head. “Not at yours, Khan. Not at yours. She is pretty enough, I grant you, but she is as weak and delicate as a flower. Designed to delight your senses with her beauty, but too fragile to last the distance.”

  “She faced down Yefrik with nothing but a paring knife.”

  “And he would have killed her if the captain had not intervened. You need a warrior by your side. Not a flower. Not an outsider, an alien. Your people will never accept her.”

  I fight against the truth of my mother’s words. “It is no fault of hers that she was brought here to a strange land. Should I think less of her for this?”

  “Your people will think less of her. They want an Emperor who loves them. Who is loyal to them. They will not look kindly on you mating with a human. Worse, a slave. They will want to see one of their own kind raised to sit by your side. And you cannot afford to alienate your own people.”

  “They are not my people yet. And they may never be.”

  “I have to believe that one day they will be, Khan. It is that belief that lets me die at peace with the world.”

  For the first time, I do not go to look for Faye when my mother falls back to sleep again. I know my mother wishes me well, and to have her so set against Faye disturbs me.

  I cannot help wondering if she is right in her concern. Kargans are a proud race. They might not take kindly to me showing favor to a human.

  My uncle has women of all kinds. Some have barely any Kargan features at all. I have heard faint whispers against his fetish for alien flesh. Some consider it unnatural. A perversion.

  Would they think the same about me if I were to take a human as my mate?

  I will be a figurehead for the rebellion, a symbol, a rallying cry. Will Faye, for whose sake I am willing to risk it all, be the cause of our failure?

  I cannot let that happen. If I am to join them, to risk everything, I can’t let Faye get caught up in it. It would be safer for her away from the rebellion. And even though she might want to join alongside me, I don’t want her to risk her life. I would rather give her up forever.

  Two things are clear to me now. I want to keep Faye safe; I don’t want her caught up in the rebellion, where she might lose her life, and where I am not even sure the rebellion would welcome her due to her being human. And the only way I can keep her safe is to cut ties with her. I can request she is moved to another area of the palace. Or I could send her right away, to serve with the healers perhaps, where she will be trained and eventually valued for her knowledge.

  I don’t like what Caidgrath is playing at, using her as a pawn to get to me, and risking her life in the process. That will be the first thing I put a stop to.

  I have been selfish to keep her by my side. She will be safer elsewhere. Anywhere that I am not.

  Tonight, I’ll talk to her. She will understand.

  That evening I ask Litha to send Faye to me when she is back in our quarters. Litha’s eyes widen and a smile creeps onto her face when I ask.

  I shake my head at her. “No Litha, not like that.”

  “Your highness, she is an amazing woman,” she replies demurely, her eyes on the floor. I wonder what she has been told from Faye, if she knows about our nights together. Our incredible nights, that I can’t let happen again, even though every part of me aches for Faye.

  “She is a slave,” I reply. “A human slave. She might be incredible, but it could never work out between us. We are too different.”

  Litha’s face turns red as she replies. Her voice is low and soft as always, but hesitant, like she is nervous to say what she is about to say. “Forgive me for saying this, but it’s your uncle that cares about that sort of thing. I didn’t think you cared so much.”

  I swallow. “I care a lot, Litha. It’s why it has to end. If she’s seen to be close to me, she will be targeted. And I am not my uncle. I don’t want an innocent woman targeted because I care about her. So I’ll forgive you for that, Litha, but don’t say it again.”

  “Are you going to send her away?”

  “Yes, Litha. For her own protection. I must.”

  She nods and turns away without a word.

  Later that evening there’s a knock at my door. I can tell from the aggressive knock that its Faye, and she’s already spoken to Litha. I open the door to see her scowling face.

  “You summoned me?” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “I didn’t summon you. I asked Litha if she could request that you visit me,” I say, my voice lingering on the word request. This seems to ease her bad mood slightly.

  “She also said that—”

  “She shouldn’t have said anything else,” I say, cutting her off.

  Faye’s eyes flash in anger. “She’s my friend. She tells me everything.”

  I sigh. “What did she tell you then? I can see whatever it is has you angry at me.”

  “Only that you called me your slave. And that you are going to cut me off, for my protection.” She laughs. “Protection? You’re sending me away because I’m a slave and you don’t want people to know that you’re sleeping with a slave girl. It would worsen your reputation even more, wouldn’t it?”

  “Faye, I—”

  “No, don’t.” She holds up her hand, and I find myself stopping short, and swallowing my words at the request of a slave girl.

  “You’re worried about my safety, you say?” She is ramping up now, her words coming out faster. She’s practically spitting at me. “You should be worried about more than that. Sleeping with me then sending me away isn’t going to keep anyone or anything safe, except your shitty reputation.”

  “My reputation is already bad, Faye. This isn’t about that.”

  “No, it’s about you being scared, like usual. Scared that people will find out you slept with a human slave girl, and that you actually cared about her. Scared that you will be punished. Scared that you might actually have to stand up for yourself for once.”

  Her words strike a sore point. I grind my teeth in frustration. “Dammit, Faye, I care about you. If you stay here and people see we are close, there will be a target on your back. You won’t be safe, ever. And you’ll be even less safe if you get involved in the damn rebellion. I don’t want you passing messages for them. I can’t risk you like that. Caidgrath should never have got you involved.”

  She leans in close to me and narrows her beautiful eyes into terrifying slits. “It shouldn’t be about my safety. By controlling me on the pretense of keeping me safe, you’re being a selfish coward and avoiding the real issue.” Tears are leaking from her eyes now. “I don’t care about my safety Khan. If it means I can join the rebellion with you and help this planet get rid of a cruel ruler, then I don’t care if I have to risk my life. The cause would be worth it. But you are too scared, aren’t you? Too scared to do anything yourself, and too selfish to let me help.”

  She’s right, I am scared. I’m terrified of so many things. I fall silent and turn to look out the window, where the sun is setting and sending tendrils of red blood across the horizon.

  “And for your information, Caidgrath is dying.”

  I snap my head back towards her. “What?”

  She sobs out her words. “They’ve blinded him. I don’t know what for, because they don’t know about the message he gave me to give to you. They’ve taken out his eyes, and his hair has turned white. He’s being killed, Khan. He’s being killed because he asked the Emperor to have a second think about a planet where he’s killing everyone.”

  “This is exactly why I don’t want you involved,” I roar at her. “I forbid you to see Caidgrath again.”

  “Just you try. If you aren’t going to do anything, then what chance does this shithole planet have? I’ll do whatever Caidgrath asks me to do because I respect him for standing up f
or what he believes in.”

  She storms towards the door. As she leaves, she shoots one last comment back to me. “Caidgrath was fine with losing his eyes because he knows he’s doing the right thing. I told him you’d taken the chip, and that was all he’d hoped for. He was willing to die to convince you to join them. He has more courage in his empty eye sockets than you have in your entire body.”

  Then she slams the door shut and leaves me breathing heavily in my room alone, trying to hold back my own tears.

  Faye

  I have never been so disappointed in my life. I thought Khan was learning how to grow up and stand up for himself, but he is not.

  That evening, I have to bear Litha’s sympathetic looks and kindness. All I want to do is hide myself away in a corner and weep. I invested too much hope in Khan. I gave him my love. Now that he has let me down, I feel crushed. Destroyed.

  I will die here. As a slave.

  Khan likes me enough to take me to his bed, but not enough to fight for me. For us.

  There is nothing left to hope for.

  I go about my duties the next morning in a daze of weariness and despair. Twice Litha corrects me gently when I bring her the wrong bottle. The third time I make a simple mistake, she gets as close as she ever gets to snapping at me. “Go for a walk in the garden, Faye,” she says, a brisk undertone to her gentle voice. “You are no good to me here.”

  I shrug and turn towards the door.

  “Don’t take it badly. What Khan said to you last night,” she adds, as I stomp into the corridor. “He is new to loving you, and it scares him.”

  I kick grumpily at one of the butterfly images on the wall of the corridor as it flits by me. “Everything scares him.”

  “He is scared for you, not for himself. About what might happen to you. You must try to understand that sending you away is the kindest thing he could do for you. If you stay here, and the Emperor finds out that Prince Khan cares for you, the Emperor will use you to break him. Prince Khan knows this.”

  “And if I am prepared to take that risk? Because I care for him, too, and I want to stay with him?” I do not add that I want to fight in the rebellion alongside the prince. I love Litha, but I dare not take that risk with Khan’s safety. Even though he has dumped me like a hot potato.

  She shakes her head sorrowfully. “Leaving is the only way to protect the Prince. Seeing you suffer would destroy him.”

  I refuse to believe that is the only way. “Would you leave your mate? If you were in my shoes?”

  She looks at her bare feet. “Yes. I would die inside to have to leave him, but I would go.”

  I close the door and stomp down the hallway. Litha is a better person that I am. I do not want to let Khan go. I will not let him go.

  I stalk out into the garden in a foul temper. I hate this stupid place and I hate this stupid planet and I wish I could just go home.

  I wish I had never left my village and just taken my chances with Matteo.

  My feet kick up clouds of red dust as I walk. Does it never rain in this stupid place?

  Then I think of a garden full of red mud, and rivulets of water carrying red dust with it and looking like trickles of blood, and I am glad I haven’t seen much rain.

  Everywhere in this place smells like blood.

  I eye the barriers that surround the garden. Although they are not terribly high, I have never thought seriously about trying to get over them. Mostly because I don’t know what lies outside the palace grounds, and according to Litha it is not pretty. Not to mention that, as a human, I would stand out like a sore thumb. People would know I was an escaped slave and guess that I belonged to the Emperor. Given his reputation, I am pretty sure they would turn me in rather than risk punishment by helping me. There is nowhere on this planet that I could hide.

  Now, however, I am desperate enough to try the barrier and take my chances with what lies on the other side.

  Nothing grows on it. No ivy climbs it. No bushes even grow close to it. Not a single plant or bush or flower within several feet. Just bare, red dirt. There’s a background hum when I approach it, a bit like the buzzing that you hear close to a beehive.

  Close up, I can feel the vibrations that come from it. They shudder unpleasantly through my body, and my head immediately starts to ache.

  Okay, so I won’t be climbing that fence before I find out exactly what it is made of.

  I tear a branch from a nearby bush and toss it at the barrier.

  There’s a slight crack and a spark when it hits. An acrid smell fills the air and the branch falls to the ground, nothing but a smear of black on the red dirt.

  Shit.

  There goes that plan. Clearly I won’t be climbing that fence at all. I will have to look for another way out.

  Maybe I can hide in a delivery van or something. More like a delivery spaceship here, really. Or steal one of those hovercraft things that are always coming and going from the roof. Something.

  I pace around the perimeter of the garden as I consider my options. Maybe I’ll try hanging out in the main kitchen. They have to be bringing all the food in from somewhere. And what comes in must go out again.

  My mind made up, I head to go back inside again when I see Caidgrath sitting on his usual bench, holding his head back, his sightless face turned towards the sun.

  “Faye,” he says in greeting, as I walk up.

  “Yes.”

  “I knew it. I could tell by the lightness of your steps and the human smell of you.”

  “I smell bad?”

  “Not bad, no. Just different. Come, sit next to an old man and visit a while.”

  Mollified, I sit next to him on the bench. We are silent. It seems he does not wish to talk or to have me talk, either.

  A cloud covers part of the sun and a chilly breeze catches me and makes me shiver. I have left Litha alone for long enough. I ought to go back and help her. And apologize for my ill temper. Khan’s weakness is not her fault.

  “Do you have any other message you want me to pass on to Khan?” I ask at length. “For the rebellion?” I know I shouldn’t ask, but I want an excuse to see the prince again. Any excuse, so that he does not turn me away. More than that, I want to know that I am helping to make this planet a better place.

  He heaves a sigh as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “I wish you had not asked,” he says, his voice breaking. “I wish with all my heart you had stayed silent.” He puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out a small disc just like the first. His hand trembles. “Here, take this.”

  I pick it up and tuck it away where it will be safe.

  “And, Faye, I am so sorry. Truly I am. But every man has a breaking point. Even me.”

  I look at him, not understanding.

  “Mered. My granddaughter. She is my weak link. I can lose my eyes, but I cannot bear to hear her screaming and know that she is being tortured because of me. Believe me, I am sorry. With all my heart.”

  I know what he means when I hear the rush of footsteps pounding up to me. “We are being watched,” I say. It is not a question.

  He nods. “I am sorry.”

  There is no chance for any more words. A dozen guards are surrounding me. One of them clips a collar around my neck while another searches me for the disc. When he finds it tucked away, he backhands me so that I fall heavily to the ground.

  One of them blasts me with a weapon. I scream and arch my back. All my limbs lock up in unbearable agony.

  The last thing I remember is being grabbed by my arms and dragged away from Caidgrath, as she sits on the bench, his head in his hands, sobbing as if his heart is broken.

  I wake in a cell, aching all over.

  Whatever the hell it was that they zapped me with, it packed one hell of a punch. My head hurts so badly that I can barely see straight, and I’m not sure that my legs will hold me if I try to stand upright.

  Not that I could stand upright even if I wanted to. My wrists and ankles are shackled to a
post, forcing me to hunch over uncomfortably.

  A pair of shoes come into my view.

  Expensive-looking shoes made of soft leather, just like Khan wears.

  Then the end of a stick prods me under the chin, forcing my head back. I blink at the glare of the lights. I’m in the great hall with people all around me. The atmosphere is still, and ringing with unearthly quiet.

  The Emperor stands in front of me, his eyes gleaming with triumph.

  Chapter Six

  Khan

  The summons to attend on my uncle is not an unusual one. What is unusual, however, is the dozen guards who are sent to bring me. It seems I am not to be given the option of refusing. Not that I ever do refuse.

  They crowd me as we walk through the corridors towards the great hall, and their hands twitch uncomfortably close to their weapons.

  Just outside the door, one of them hits me square in the back with huge wallop of muscle relaxer. In small doses, it’s designed to help people with tension and anxiety, to relieve a sore shoulder or help with leg cramps. A massive dose, and your muscles are too relaxed to work anymore. Unable to stand, I collapse bonelessly to the floor.

  The guards laugh and drag me into the room, stripped of all my dignity. I know what it will look like to the others assembled there in the great hall. I will look like a coward, too weak and frightened to face my uncle. It will look like the guards had to drag me here against my will.

  My uncle is standing in front of a pillar. When he sees me, he steps aside.

  My heart leaps up into my throat. Faye is hunched over on the ground, her eyes wide with fear, shackled to the pillar.

  She sees me staring and looks away.

  That tiny movement of hers, that moment of denial, almost undoes me.

  The guards toss me to the floor in front of her. I cannot move enough even to roll over. I simply lie there, prostrate on the floor.