Prey (Blackwater Pack Book 2)

by Hannah McBride

“That’s it, isn’t it?” I whispered, wondering if he could actually hear the sound of my heart shattering between us. “You don’t want ... me.”

  Everything else I had survived, endured, and overcame was nothing when compared to this moment. This would destroy me. This moment here would absolutely decimate whatever I had left in me.

  I would take being kidnapped, terrorized and tortured over what was happening right now.

  The bond didn’t need to be complete for me to feel my heart being torn from my chest.

  With a gasp, I slapped a hand over my chest as if that could stop the pain from arcing through me like an electric current.

  “Fuck,” Remy growled, crossing the distance between us in two long-legged strides. His massive hands came up and cradled my cheeks. “Fuck, no. Baby, that’s not what I’m saying at fucking all.”

  Shaking, I tried to pull away but he was too strong and with the wall behind me, there was nowhere to go. “Let me go!”

  “Not until you listen to me,” he demanded, not budging.

  I tugged uselessly at his wrists, trying to break free, but there was absolutely no getting away. His body pressed me against the wall, and I did the only thing I could to escape the moment.

  I closed my eyes, squeezing them as hard as I could until a kaleidoscope of colors burst behind my lids.

  His hands dropped to my shoulders and gave me a sharp shake.

  “Fucking look at me, Skye!” he snapped, his tone edging into desperation as he tried to scale the wall I was rapidly building between us.

  I did open my eyes then, but he was a watery blur through my tears. “So, my uncle was right? This bond between us is just … It’s nothing?”

  His dark eyes searched mine. “No, no, no. Babe, I love you. I fucking love you, Skye.” His chest heaved. “You’re everything to me.”

  “But not enough to be bonded to me forever?” I hissed, anger slowly seeping into the cracks in my heart. “I’m not enough? What is it? Am I too broken? Too damaged?” I shoved at the massive, immovable wall of his chest.

  “Would you listen to me?” he roared. His hands tightened around my shoulders, almost bruising, and then he let me go suddenly and paced across the room.

  I glanced over at the door.

  “Don’t even think about it,” he snapped, frustration lacing his bitter tone. “You won’t make it out the door.”

  My head swung in his direction, and I swallowed hard.

  His hands were shaking. Everything about him was tense and hard, practically vibrating. Remy looked every single inch an alpha right now.

  And he was also dangerously close to losing control.

  I could see his wolf twitching under the surface, begging for release. I could see it because I felt the exact same thing. My own shift was seconds from ripping through me.

  “If you leave, I’ll follow you,” he swore. “We’re having this out here one way or another. No more running, remember? You need to listen to me, babe.”

  “Don’t call me that!” I snapped furiously. Rage had started to fuse the jagged pieces of my heart back into a mangled wreck. I shoved off the wall and took a defiant step towards the door.

  His eyes lit at the challenge, a warning growl rumbling from his chest. “Sit down.”

  Meeting his gaze, I lifted my chin in sheer defiance. “No.”

  I felt the energy in the room shift, a tangible thing like a bomb going off on the ground below us. Everything suspended in some weird limbo, like waiting for the dust to settle.

  I didn’t know who felt more betrayed right now—me or my wolf. Either way, we weren’t backing down.

  His chest rose as he breathed in a sharp breath. A louder, more ominous growl ripped through him, the sound filling the room. His dark eyes flashed ominously, his lips pulling back in a snarl.

  Something deeply primal inside of me demanded I yield to my alpha. Fighting the compulsion to take a seat like he freaking ordered was like being pulled apart inside. The wolf in me was ready to submit. The human in me was ready for a fight.

  We stared at each other for several long seconds, both of us breathing hard. I could feel pieces of my resolve chipping and splintering away.

  Minutes ticked by, neither of us budging until one last shard broke away.

  “Fine,” I hissed, storming to the couch farthest away from him and throwing myself into it. I angled my body away from him, not wanting to look at his stupid, beautiful face for another minute.

  It was childish, but it was the only card I had left to play in my hand.

  A sharp scraping noise filled the room as he dragged the armchair over in front of me. He sat in it, his knees brushing mine.

  That simple contact sent my pulse galloping. My traitorous body still didn’t seem to get the message that we weren’t wanted by him.

  With a sniff, I lifted my legs and hugged them to my chest so not a single part of my body was touching his. I even curled my toes inward.

  Remy sighed. “Please look at me, Skye.”

  I ground my molars together, stubbornly looking anywhere but at him.

  “You owe me that much.”

  That caught my attention.

  My head swung around. “I don’t owe you—”

  There was no mistaking the triumphant gleam in his eyes.

  Made ya look.

  I huffed and glared at him. “What?”

  Amazingly, his frown melted into a blinding smile as he looked at me and shook his head. “God, I love you.”

  My eyes narrowed into slits.

  “Will you please listen to me?” His tone was considerably softer now, almost pleading.

  “Do I have a choice?” I retorted.

  “Skye, I never wanted you to feel trapped by our bond,” he started slowly.

  I was going to scream. Hadn’t we been through this? “I never—”

  He held up a hand to stop me. “Yes, you did. That first night when you came to the cabin at school? You were worried about not having a choice. You spent your life being told what to do and when to do it. I don’t know everything you’ve been through, but I know enough. I never wanted you to feel trapped or forced again by anything or anyone, and sure as hell not by me.”

  Fuming, I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

  “And maybe I was scared, too,” he admitted quietly. “Maybe I was scared that one day you would wake up and realize this wasn’t the life you wanted. That I’m not what you wanted.”

  Not what I wanted?

  Remy Holt was all I wanted. The idea that I wouldn’t want him was completely absurd.

  He let out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I knew that if we … completed the bond that there would be no going back. Not for me, anyway.”

  “Who the hell said I would want anything except you?” I whispered, struggling to make sense of what he was saying.

  His dark eyes were swirling with a riot of emotions, but the darkest one lingering was fear. “The last few months, I’ve watched you discover the world, Skye. That first time I watched you walking into a grocery store? That damn near killed me.”

  I flushed and looked down. That wasn’t one of my finer moments. Most seventeen-year-olds had at least made it inside a damn grocery store in their lives, but not me.

  I took one step through the sliding glass doors and my eyes about fell out of my head trying to see and catalog every color. I could still remember the stale scent of the air conditioning laced with fruits and vegetables. I had stood there until Remy had coaxed me further inside.

  Yet another shining example of how I was a total freak show.

  “Every time I watched you find something you loved, or something that excited you, I wondered if I was holding you back.” His confession was barely audible between us.

  Swallowing, he continued, “I’ve seen bonded mates after their bond was broken. It’s like they’ve lost a part of themselves, even if they wanted to end the bond. It rips you apart. And I thought that if we didn’
t fully complete the bond, it might be easier for you.”

  “Easier for me?” I repeated dumbly.

  He reached out and grabbed one of my hands, clinging to it like a lifeline.

  “Easier in case you wanted to go and live your own life,” he added. “Without me.”

  A shudder shook him, rippling through his hands into me. He leaned forward, his warm breath caressing my skin.

  “That’s why I always stopped us from going farther,” he finished. A thumb stroked over the back of my hand. “I wanted to protect you, Skye. I never wanted you to feel trapped in another situation out of your control. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re sorry,” I repeated dumbly, trying to organize and understand his rationale.

  Slowly he let my hands go and pulled away, still facing me. A foot separated us, but it might have been a canyon. The void hanging between us matched the gaping hole currently in my chest.

  I caught my lower lip between my teeth, biting hard enough to draw blood. The coppery tang gave me something to focus on, the pain centering me in some grotesque way.

  Pain I understood. Pain I could endure.

  “You’ve asked me to be honest with you,” I started slowly. “Every time I did something stupid, you said we needed to talk about it. Open and honest. No more running.”

  He nodded, his movements jerky. He knew where I was going.

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me any of this?” I demanded. “If you wanted me to have a choice, why the hell haven’t you given me all of my options?”

  “I should have,” he allowed, head bowed. “I should have told you everything.”

  “You knew I had no idea about bonded mates before I came to your pack.”

  He flinched, jaw tight. “Our pack,” he corrected.

  Loneliness swamped me. I wasn’t sure it was my pack anymore or my home. Remy was Blackwater.

  And apparently Remy wasn’t mine.

  “I went into that meeting blind today,” I hissed, those feelings of having the rug yanked out from under me welling up all over.

  I could see the smug smile on Linden’s face. That look of triumph he wore like a freaking badge. He knew something that could call our bond into question and strengthen his position amongst the Council.

  “I should have told you.” He hung his head, defeated. “I never thought they would actually ask you if we had…”

  “They all fucking knew, Remy!” I spat the words at him, like venom poisoning me from the inside out. “Do you know how stupid I felt when they questioned me about our bond?”

  His head ducked lower, his fists clenched on his thighs.

  I snorted derisively. “And there I am, looking like an idiot defending us, when they’re right. We aren’t bonded. Not in the eyes of every person here. Not according to pack law.”

  “Fuck the packs,” he snapped. “What matters is us!”

  “Is there an us?” I demanded, my tone bordering on slightly hysterical. “Because this—” I frantically waved at the space between us, “—doesn’t feel like an us, Remy.”

  His teeth ground together as he tipped his head back to look at the ceiling, his throat working. “Skye—”

  “You should have seen the look on my uncle’s face,” I continued, ignoring him. I swallowed the memory, bitter taste flooding my mouth as I recalled the sheer glee on Linden’s face. “On all of their faces. They believe him. And they believe that this? You and me? It isn’t real.”

  “You and I both know it’s real,” he returned heatedly.

  “What if they decide it isn’t real? What if they side with my uncle, and we have to go back? What if tomorrow they decide I have to go back to Long Mesa?”

  “I won’t let that happen,” he replied coldly, ice dripping from his tone. “No fucking way will I let any of them take you.”

  I slammed a fist into the cushion beside me. “But you opened the door so they can! All because you didn’t trust me!”

  “I was wrong, okay?” he yelled back, all restraint gone. “I was scared of losing you, of pushing you too fast, and I fucked up, Skye. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

  No, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

  Everything was falling down around us. I was being crushed under the weight of the debris. My past, the future I thought I had, and the present that wasn’t anything that I believed.

  Resting my elbows on my knees, I dropped my head into my hands and swallowed a sob. “I woke up this morning so sure that it was you and me against the world. But in that room today? It was just me against the world because you didn’t tell me the truth.” I looked up at him through a haze of tears.

  “I know,” he answered softly. “I didn’t think this through. I never imagined they would question the validity of our bond or ask to see your mark. I’m sorry, babe. I messed up.”

  I could only nod slowly in reply as I tried to sort out what he was saying.

  He licked his lips, his eyes darting to the door before landing back on me. “The choice is yours. I won’t stop you. If you want to leave, you can.”

  “You won’t stop me?”

  He took a deep, shaky breath. “No. You have a choice, Skye. You always have a choice.” He paused, hesitating. “I’m just hoping you chose me.”

  Time leaked by in agonizing silence. Each second was another moment of oily doubt, each minute a fresh wave of hell until I finally had enough of this cruel purgatory.

  My legs barely supported me as I pushed to my feet, every muscle shaking as I stood up. I looked down at Remy, wanting like hell to touch him.

  To fix this mess.

  His dark eyes, so full of hope and despair, looked at me like I had all the answers.

  And maybe I did have this one answer.

  With a shaking breath, and my heart still in pieces under my feet, I headed for the door.

  38

  The metal was cold under my hand as I settled my fingers around it. The air conditioner unit kicked on, the mechanical hum eating up the empty silence between us.

  So. Much. Silence.

  It was a tangible thing hanging between us, strangling and suffocating all at once.

  I could feel Remy’s eyes on me as I stood there. I knew he was resisting every single urge to walk across the room and haul me back.

  It was a testament to the kind of man he was that he didn’t do just that.

  He could have. He could have demanded my submission, my compliance, but that wasn’t the kind of man he was. I loved him for being the guy who would always give me a choice.

  But right now, everything was so twisted, so wrong. Confusion swamped me. All I wanted was to hide in my room and cry my eyes out. To lick my wounds in peace.

  My wolf felt so far away now. All the rage and passion that had bonded us these last few months was gone, driven away in a few minutes that left me rudderless and adrift in a sea of complete misery.

  She felt the chasm between us, driving us apart. As she had done years before, she was going back into hibernation, letting me chart a course for us as she slipped into the background of my mind, behind the chaos and the heartache.

  But somewhere in the heavy sludge of fear and unease, I could feel that thin tie linking me to her.

  Linking us to him.

  Consummated or not, Remy and I were bonded. Our wolves were mates for life, no matter what our human sides decided.

  I grabbed onto that tether with everything I had inside of me and held on.

  Please, don’t make me regret this.

  I turned the lock and stepped away from the door.

  Remy was already on his feet when I turned around, his eyes dark but hopeful. His tongue came out, licking his lower lip as he watched me.

  I held up a hand, my voice cracking with emotion. “No more secrets. Swear it, Remy. Swear on our bond—”

  He was across the room and pulling me into his strong embrace before I could finish. His massive arms practically squeezed the air out of my lungs.

 
“I swear,” he whispered fiercely, his breath hot against my throat. “I fucking swear. It’s you and me forever.”

  “Prove it,” I whispered.

  He lifted his head, eyes searching me.

  No turning back now.

  I stepped back, but he wouldn’t let me go. His arms were loose, but firm, around my waist, so I maneuvered the best I could.

  Taking a deep breath, I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it off. The shirt slipped out of my shaking hands, pooling at the floor between us.

  Heat flared brilliantly in his eyes. “Skye.”

  “I’m yours,” I said softly, pressing a hand over his heart. “I want to be yours in every way.”

  His chest rose and fell rapidly, lust flaring brightly in his eyes for a second before he shoved it down. His mouth flattened. “No, Skye. No. We’re not doing this to prove a fucking point to your uncle or the Council.”

  I covered his mouth with my hand. “This doesn’t have a thing to do with that asshole or anyone else except you and me. I want this. I want to be with you.” I swallowed around the sudden dryness in my throat, positive he would hear the hammering of my heart.

  He dropped his forehead to mine, sharing the air with me. “Baby, are you sure?”

  I slid my arms around his neck, pressing my chest against his. My soft curves yielded to the hard planes of him. “I choose you, Remy. Now, yesterday, tomorrow, and every single day I’m alive.”

  A low growl rumbled in his chest. A warning and a promise. “If we do this, I’m never letting you go, Skye. Ever. Are you sure?”

  “Even without the bond, you’re the guy who taught me how to love, Remy,” I told him, needing him to believe what I was saying. “You’re the one who taught me how to live when I didn’t know how. The only world I want to discover is the one that you’re in with me.”

  He raised a hand from my waist, tracing the laced edge of my bra. He licked his lips slowly, his throat moving as he swallowed roughly before his eyes met mine.

  “You’re sure?” he pressed, his expression bordering on feral. Whatever restraint he had left was slipping.

  I inhaled deeply, the rise of my chest making the pads of his fingers brush against my skin. That simple graze of skin against skin set my body on fire. “I’m sure.”