Junkie: A Driven World Novel (The Driven World)

by J. D. Hollyfield

  “Take it back or I will tickle you to death.” A small ripple glides across my skin as he tickles me harder.

  “Oh my god, fine! You’re not a creep! Please,” I say, still reeling from the fits of laughter.

  “Say it again.”

  “You’re not a creep!” I scream, squirming under him.

  “Say that you can’t believe what a stallion I am.” His crooked smile and cheeky laughter has me giggling harder.

  “No way—ahhh! Okay, fine! You’re a stallion! Ride of my life!” His chest rumbles against mine, thankfully easing up.

  “Much better.” We stare at one another for some time before it becomes too intimate and I break eye contact. “Hey.” He grabs my chin, forcing me to hold his stare. “I’m sorry. I should have never…” he begins, and instantly, my stomach drops. He’s already regretting this. How foolish am I to think, hope, he would actually want to be with me. I start to scramble under his hold, attempting to free myself. “Hey, hey? What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t need to hear your lame excuses as to why this was a mistake. Just let me go—”

  “Whoa, whoa…that’s not what I was getting at. What just happened was nothing short of amazing. And I’m hoping we do it again. And again. And so many times again. I was talking about earlier…at the bar. I said some things I shouldn’t have. It was wrong of me to accuse you of something I’m the only one guilty of.”

  It takes a moment for his words to register. Insecurity is a bitch, but it’s all I know when it comes to others and wanting me. I settle under his hold, now embarrassed. “Oh, I thought…”

  His hand reaches out and cups my cheek. “I’m sorry if I made you think you were anything less than perfect. And I’m sorry for being a drunken asshole. I don’t deserve your kindness or the gift you just gave me. All I can say is I’m going through something and don’t know how to get myself out of it.”

  My hands follow suit and caress the side of his face. “I know you said before to leave it alone, but I’m here if you want to talk about it.” He’s still for what feels like forever, until he rolls off, lying next to me. He’s silent for some time, and I question again whether he’s fallen asleep. But then he starts talking.

  “My brother was my idol. I looked up to him since I could remember. He was so damn talented. So generous. He had everything he ever wanted. Worked hard for it, but he was exactly where he wanted to be. “He was everything I wanted to be…” He pauses to take a breath. “I followed in his path, taking every single footstep. I may have skipped a few, but he made sure I went back and took my time. One foot in front of the other. Each step at a time. He wasn’t a fan of me getting into racing. He actually wanted me to go to college. So I did. Gave it all of one semester before I came back home. He was so pissed at me. Said if our parents were still alive, Dad would skin my ass.”

  “What happened to your parents?” I ask. The sadness that casts over his beautiful face makes me wish I never asked.

  “Car accident. Ironic, huh? They were hit by a drunk driver. Thankfully, Luke was old enough to become my guardian, so we weren’t separated. Anyhow, by the time I returned home, Luke was in the high of his career. I landed a job on the pit crew doing jobs with everyone and their mother bossing me around. I’m pretty sure at one point I shined the shoes of one of his big sponsors.”

  “But while I was doing everyone’s dirty work, I was studying, learning, and observing Luke’s every move. And one day, I approached him about being ready. Of course, he made me jump through all the proper hoops before he took me seriously. And after a couple of years of busting my ass, I got asked to join his team.”

  His story so far is a happy one. Filled with success and determination. But I know it doesn’t stay that way, so I brace myself for the torment to come.

  “My first year of racing was a blur. The second I got behind the wheel, my life changed. For the good…and I guess for the bad. With any sport comes fame and perks, and I got lost in those. I was racing and winning, but I was also out of control. I let things get out of hand. I know I’m the one to blame, but I can’t take it back. I drank a lot. Started losing myself in a way. My brother was, to say the least, really fucking disappointed in me. We got into it a lot. I wanted him to stay out of my business. I had it handled; he thought otherwise. The morning of the Monterey Grand Prix, I was assigned to be his spotter. It would have been the first race we worked together on the track. I partied too hard the night before, and he pulled me from the team. We fought bad. I told him to go to hell. We were on the verge of throwing fists when Beckett broke us apart.”

  He takes a moment, as if he’s losing himself to the memory of that day. I lay on my side, wrapping my arm around his chest for comfort, and wait until he’s ready to go on.

  “Luke walked away from me, leaving me with one final look of disappointment. He expected more of me, and I’d disappointed him. Because of me, he was distracted. He got into his car in the wrong mindset and made a bad judgement call on the track.” His body trembles, as if reliving the horror. “We all saw it coming. I had been in the pit. He tried crossing the inside of the track. He should have stayed wide. He knew to stay wide. He tapped the back of another car and spun out, slamming into the wall. Within seconds, he was airborne, flipping. It’s not uncommon for this to happen, but when he landed, his car just snapped in two. Freak accident they said. The explosion was the final straw. There was no coming back from that.”

  I lift myself off the bed and slide my palms up his chest, trying to reel in my own emotions that are fighting to come out. He doesn’t need my pity or my sadness. Right now, he just needs me. I don’t tell him how sorry I am because that’s not what he wants to hear.

  “Thank you,” I say, throwing my leg over his torso to straddle him.

  “Why are you thanking me? For telling you a depressing as shit story?”

  I lean forward, pressing my lips to his chest. “No, for talking.” Another kiss to his hard pecs. “For letting me in.” To the top of his shoulder. “For trusting me with your story.”

  I gasp as he flips us, my hair falling in waves across the pillows as my back hits the mattress.

  “Who are you, Luna? Where did you come from? And why didn’t I find you sooner?”

  He kisses me with sincerity, and I sink into the abyss of everything he’s giving me. I’m a mess, falling for his sweet surrender as he slides on a condom, parts my lips, and pushes into me. The flames behind my eyes are so bright, they must light up the entire room as he transforms me into mush, his rough hands burning into my sides. I submit to him and anything he’s willing to offer me. My legs open wide, allowing him to dominate me, the hardness of him taking up the space between my quivering thighs and beating heart.

  Cash

  I wake up to the cute sounds of a little firecracker sleeping next to me, her plump lips parted, the sweetest little hums pitter-pattering off her tongue. Rolling over, I peer at the time on my alarm clock. I slept through the night. Normally my night is filled with nightmares. Visions of that day. Our fight. But last night…nothing. “Shit,” I whisper in shock. It’s been forever since I’ve slept in. I flip back, admiring the beautiful sight sleeping in my bed. My lips curve, and I crack a smile.

  I could lay here forever and stare at her. The sun from my open shade casts the most beautiful rays against her sleeping face. Her lips have me reliving the perfect moments of last night and how enticing they were. Nothing could have prepared me for her. How hungry I was. And she was worth every savory bite. Her steady breaths filter out a moan as she rolls onto her side, facing me, her lips still parted. A curious smile rests along my face wondering what she’s dreaming about. Is it me? Our wild night? My shoulders shake in silent laughter at how unexpected and insanely perfect she was. Then again, our night wasn’t all fun and games. I said some fucked up things to her. She should have left me at that bar to get my ass kicked. But she didn’t.

  She held me as I broke down, got me home safe, then got me to ta
lk. Last night was the first time I’ve retraced the steps of that day. It gutted me as much as it did the day of the accident, as if I was reliving it in my head. But when I was done, it left me with this feeling I wasn’t expecting. I felt freer…lighter…like a weight was lifted, and the heaviness of the guilt and regret I’ve been carrying over the past year was evaporating.

  I didn’t tell her I felt the guilt of Luke’s death. How I felt responsible and will for the rest of my life. But being with her, having her listen without judgement, it was a start to me finding peace that he’s gone and never coming back.

  Staring at her flawless beauty, I want to wake her and repay the favor. Take away whatever pain she’s harboring. I may know nothing about this girl, but I know I don’t want to let her go. “Jesus.” I shake my head again. Playboy Cash Huntington just found himself a girl worthy of being tied down to.

  The problem is, I don’t know if she wants the same. How could she? You two just met. Yeah, but the electricity between us is too intense to deny. She may be a stranger to me, but I plan to change that.

  I want to wake her up and lavish in all her purity. Convince her that what we’ve started is a damn good thing. A part of me wants to let her sleep. She looks like she needs it as much as I did, but it’s nearly impossible to lie next to her and keep my hands away.

  She begins to stir, her eyelids fluttering before they break open. “Hi.”

  “Hey. What time is it?” She sits up, blocking the ray of light. She’s a little disoriented until she realizes where she is. Worry blossoms in my chest at the possibility of her having regrets about last night and taking off. So I don’t give her the option.

  “Almost ten. You need to get up. We have a busy day ahead of us.” Her eyes widen like beautiful, bright beams, and I wink at her and jump out of bed.

  “Wait, where are we going? I don’t…I’m not really dressed to go—”

  “Correct. Any place that requires clothes is over dressed, because I find you quite lovely in my t-shirt, or even better naked, but no fear. The House is on the way. We’ll stop by so you can change.”

  Her head spins in my direction, and I offer her my sexy smile and disappear into the bathroom before she can protest or tell me to beat it. When I come out, I find her sitting in my living room. She’s changed out of my shirt, which bums me out, since she looked so damn sexy in it.

  “Uh, where are we going?” she asks, unsure.

  “It’s a surprise. Ready?”

  “Yeah, but shouldn’t you be at the speedway? Beckett seemed—”

  “Beckett gave me the next couple days off. Let’s hit the road. I know this great little spot to grab some breakfast.” I catch her off guard when I snag her hand and walk us out of my place.

  Luna’s quiet on the drive to The House. She seems lost in her head. There’s this urge to pry, but I don’t want her to back off. I’m starting to pick up on her triggers, and any topic relating to her is off limits. I worry she’ll run. Leave before I break her down and figure out what she’s hiding from. I want to help her. Whatever it is, I have the means. Money, connections. This urge to protect her has begun to consume me, and I want nothing more than to fix whatever is broken for her.

  I’m hesitant now, but I’m not sure how much longer I can hold back before I force her demons to resurface. We pull up to The House, and she hops out, saying she’ll be a few minutes. I’m sure that was her dismissing me and telling me to stay put. I follow her inside anyway, catching Jackson as she whizzes past him.

  “Hey, Cash. Nice to see you. Dropping Luna off?” he asks, his eyebrow raised inquisitively.

  “Actually, she’s just changing. Gonna head out to L.A. for the day. Wanted to show Luna around.” Jackson eyes me with interest. Turning into her personal tour guide isn’t in my mentor duties, and Jackson’s expression is silently questioning my intentions.

  “Oh, cool. How’s the volunteer job working out for her?”

  Do I mention that due to my Cash Huntington outings everyday she’s barely finding time to wash cars, let alone the rest of the long list of volunteer work assigned to her? How about yesterday when I was coaching her taut body to melt around me as I slid her up the wall and ravaged her pretty little mouth? Possibly last night when I—

  “She’s doing really great. Very eager to learn.” Dammit, that came out way too boisterous. Jackson eyes me harder. More stern. Kind of like a strict dad… You’re just being paranoid. Can’t take any chances. I break contact and look around, starting to bounce on my heels. “So, how are things here? Full house? Saw Ryles in an interview the other day. The girls wing seems to be taking off.” Stop staring at me. Stop staring.

  “Hmmm…yeah. We got picked up by the local news. The donations Colton’s corporation made helped fund the addition. It’s been pretty consistent ever since. Luna actually snagged our last bed. Is she…staying here still, or…?”

  “Not sure. I mean, I have an extra room and it’s closer to the speed—”

  “Thought you were staying in the car. Uh…hey, Jackson. We were just heading out.” Jackson masks his surprise at my slip of the tongue. Why did I just offer for her to stay with me? I don’t even know if she’d want that. Or if she’s staying… “So, we’ll see you later, okay?” She also doesn’t hold Jackson’s gaze as she lamely waves and walks past me, hoping I follow.

  “Well, good seeing you. Again, congrats on the addition!” I crack an awkward smile and take off before he has the chance to verbally express the concerns plastered all over his face. As soon as we’re back in my car, I pull away before Jackson changes his mind and decides to let me know what he really thinks.

  “So, you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” She doesn’t look at me, her gaze remaining fixed out the window.

  “A surprise isn’t a surprise if I tell you.”

  “Then let’s not make it a surprise,” she replies.

  “Ahhh, no fun. We’re about there anyway.”

  Luna

  He pulls into a parking lot, and like every other Cash Huntington field trip, I stare up at the large complex, confused.

  “A movie theater?”

  “A movie theater,” he replies and climbs out. Same song and dance, he retrieves me from the car, and hand-in-hand, and escorts me to the ticket counter.

  “S’up, Cash!”

  “How’s it goin’, Ben?” They knuckle bump, and the kid hands Cash a bucket. “Here’s what you asked for. Just flag up when you decide, and I’ll get it started. Concessions are ready to go, so have at it.”

  “Thanks, bud.” Cash takes the bucket, and without answering my questioning stare, drags us into the movie theater. He doesn’t ask me what I want, though it doesn’t matter since he grabs everything. “Breakfast of champions.” He gives a wink, and with both hands full, we walk in and take two seats in the middle.

  “What are we watching?”

  “That’s up to you.” He raises the bucket. “You pick.”

  “What exactly am I picking?”

  He shakes the bucket. “Just pick and find out.”

  I shake my head and shuffle the mound of candy and popcorn into my lap and dig my hand into the bucket filled with pieces of folded paper. Retrieving one, I pull it out and unfold it. “Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift?”

  “Ah, good choice. It’s like fate.”

  I’m so confused. “What—?”

  “See, since there are like eight hundred movies, I couldn’t pick which ones to watch.”

  I don’t know what emotion I show first. Surprise? Touched? Turned on and on the verge of throwing myself at him? But then my face falls. “You’re trying to start me in the middle of a series? Tokyo Drift is the third movie. That’s so wrong!”

  “Wait, what?”

  “Who watches a movie series out of order?” I ask, appalled.

  “Well, I didn’t—”

  “What kind of Vin Diesel fan are you?” I twist in my chair and scream up to Ben. “The Fast and the Furious!” Ben o
ffers me a thumbs up, and I twist back in my seat and grab for the gigantic bucket of popcorn, tossing a few perfectly salted and buttered kernels in my mouth. The heat of his stare ignites this untouched desire in me, and I fight not to throw myself in his lap and kiss the hell out of him, uncaring of where we are. The intimacy we shared last night started something in me. It woke up this side of me that’s been dormant for…well, ever. My body still throbs at the sexual highs he took me to. The way his lips fused with intent against mine. The need in his voice as he devoured each moan that traveled up my throat. The way his fervent kisses turned manic and there was no stopping him from consuming ever part of me.

  “I don’t know where the hell you came from, but you may be my new idol.” Now that gets me. My laugh is loud and genuine, his comment filling me with warmth. I don’t say anything else to him, but simply put my index finger to my lips telling him to be quiet ’cause the movie’s starting.

  We make it through the Fast and the Furious, Cash insisting we can’t leave until we watch the whole movie. His phone beeps as the credits begin to roll, and he’s up dropping the bucket of popcorn and snatching my hand. “Up we go, got things to do.”

  Candy wrappers and popcorn kernels fall to the ground as I’m dragged from the theater and placed back in the Charger.

  “That wasn’t our only plans for the day?” I ask, but he shuts the door and jogs around the car, climbing in.

  “Nope. That was just breakfast. Buckle up, princess.” And he peels out of the parking lot.

  Cash

  She’s quiet on the drive, taking in all the huge high-rises as we drive through downtown LA. Her parted mouth and wide eyes tell me she’s never been here, which answers one question: she’s not from here. “You familiar with the area?” I ask, trying to pry.

  She shakes her head. “No.”

  “They don’t have big buildings where you’re from?”

  “No, not in—no.” She catches herself, shutting down her answer. I want to kick myself for pushing. Thank god she still holds a faint easy-going smile. No more prying. Got it.