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The Pursuit of the House-Boat

Page 12

by John Kendrick Bangs


  XII

  THE ESCAPE AND THE END

  If there was anxiety on board of the _Gehenna_ as to the condition andwhereabouts of the House-boat, there was by no means less uneasiness uponthat vessel itself. Cleopatra's scheme for ridding herself and herabducted sisters of the pirates had worked to a charm, but, having workedthus, a new and hitherto undreamed-of problem, full of perplexitiesbearing upon their immediate safety, now confronted them. The solerepresentative of a sea-faring family on board was Mrs. Noah, and it didnot require much time to see that her knowledge as to navigation was of anextremely primitive order, limited indeed to the science of floating.

  When the last pirate had disappeared behind the rocks of Holmes Island,and all was in readiness for action, the good old lady, who had hithertobeen as calm and unruffled as a child, began to get red in the face and tobustle about in a manner which betrayed considerable perturbation ofspirit.

  "Now, Mrs. Noah," said Cleopatra, as, peeping out from the billiard-roomwindow, she saw Morgan disappearing in the distance, "the coast is clear,and I resign my position of chairman to you. We place the vessel in yourhands, and ourselves subject to your orders. You are in command. What doyou wish us to do?"

  "Very well," replied Mrs. Noah, putting down her knitting and starting forthe deck. "I'm not certain, but I think the first thing to do is to gether moving. Do you know, I've never discovered whether this boat is asteamboat or a sailing-vessel? Does anybody know?"

  "I think it has a naphtha tank and a propeller," said Elizabeth, "althoughI don't know. It seems to me my brother Raleigh told me they'd had anaphtha engine put in last winter after the freshet, when the House-boatwas carried ten miles down the river, and had to be towed back at enormousexpense. They put it in so that if she were carried away again she couldget back of her own power."

  "That's unfortunate," said Mrs. Noah, "because I don't know anything aboutthese new fangled notions. If there's any one here who knows anythingabout naphtha engines, I wish they'd speak."

  "I'm of the opinion," said Portia, "that I can study out the theory of itin a short while."

  "Very well, then," said Mrs. Noah, "you can do it. I'll appoint youengineer, and give you all your orders now, right away, in advance. Sether going and keep her going, and don't stop without a written ordersigned by me. We might as well be very careful, and have everything doneproperly, and it might happen that in the excitement of our trip you wouldmisunderstand my spoken orders and make a fatal error. Therefore, pay noattention to unwritten orders. That will do for you for the present.Xanthippe, you may take Ophelia and Madame Recamier, and ten other ladies,and, every morning before breakfast, swab the larboard deck. Cassandra,Tuesdays you will devote to polishing the brasses in the dining-room, andthe balance of your time I wish you to expend in dusting the bric-a-brac.Dido, you always were strong at building fires. I'll make you chiefstoker. You will also assist Lucretia Borgia in the kitchen. Inasmuch asthe latter's maid has neglected to supply her with the usual line ofpoisons, I think we can safely entrust to Lucretia's hands theresponsibilities of the culinary department."

  "I'm perfectly willing to do anything I can," said Lucretia, "but I mustconfess that I don't approve of your methods of commanding a ship. Aship's captain isn't a domestic martinet, as you are setting out to be. Wedidn't appoint you housekeeper."

  "Now, my child," said Mrs. Noah, firmly, "I do not wish any words. If Ihear any more impudence from you, I'll put you ashore without a reference;and the rest of you I would warn in all kindness that I will not tolerateinsubordination. You may, all of you, have one night of the week andalternate Sundays off, but your work must be done. The regimen I amadopting is precisely that in vogue on the Ark, only I didn't have thehelp I have now, and things got into very bad shape. We were out fortydays, and, while the food was poor and the service execrable, we neverlost a life."

  "'NOW, MY CHILD,' SAID MRS. NOAH, FIRMLY, 'I DO NOT WISHANY WORDS'"]

  The boat gave a slight tremor.

  "Hurrah," cried Elizabeth, clapping her hands with glee, "we are off!"

  "I will repair to the deck and get our bearings," said Mrs. Noah, puttingher shawl over her shoulders. "Meantime, Cleopatra, I appoint you firstmate. See that things are tidied up a bit here before I return. Have thewindows washed, and to-morrow I want all the rugs and carpets taken up andshaken."

  Portia meanwhile had discovered the naphtha engine, and, afterexperimenting several times with the various levers and stop-cocks, hadfinally managed to move one of them in such a way as to set the enginegoing, and the wheel began to revolve.

  "Are we going all right?" she cried, from below.

  "I am afraid not," said the gallant commander. "The wheel is roiling upthe water at a great rate, but we don't seem to be going ahead veryfast--in fact, we're simply moving round and round as though we were on apivot."

  "I'm afraid we're aground amidships," said Xanthippe, gazing over the sideof the House-boat anxiously. "She certainly acts that way--like amerry-go-round."

  "Well, there's something wrong," said Mrs. Noah; "and we've got to hurryand find out what it is, or those men will be back and we shall be asbadly off as ever."

  "Maybe this has something to do with it," observed Mrs. Lot, pointing tothe anchor rope. "It looks to me as if those horrid men had tied us fast."

  "That's just what it is," snapped Mrs. Noah. "They guessed our plan, andhave fastened us to a pole or something, but I imagine we can untie it."

  Portia, who had come on deck, gave a short little laugh.

  "Why, of course we don't move," she said--"we are anchored!"

  "What's that?" queried Mrs. Noah. "We never had an experience like that onthe Ark."

  Portia explained the science of the anchor.

  "What nonsense!" ejaculated Mrs. Noah. "How can we get away from it?"

  "We've got to pull it up," said Portia. "Order all hands on deck and haveit pulled up."

  "It can't be done, and, if it could, I wouldn't have it!" said Mrs. Noah,indignantly. "The idea! Lifting heavy pieces of iron, my dear Portia, isnot a woman's work. Send for Delilah, and let her cut the rope with herscissors."

  "It would take her a week to cut a hawser like that," said Elizabeth, whohad been investigating. "It would be more to the purpose, I think, to chopit in two with an axe."

  "Very well," replied Mrs. Noah, satisfied. "I don't care how it is done aslong as it is done quickly. It would never do for us to be recapturednow."

  The suggestion of Elizabeth was carried out, and the queen herself cut thehawser with six well-directed strokes of the axe.

  "You _are_ an expert with it, aren't you?" smiled Cleopatra.

  "I am, indeed," replied Elizabeth, grimly. "I had it suspended over myhead for so long a time before I got to the throne that I couldn't helpfamiliarizing myself with some of its possibilities."

  "Ah!" cried Mrs. Noah, as the vessel began to move. "I begin to feeleasier. It looks now as if we were really off."

  "It seems to me, though," said Cleopatra, gazing forward, "that we aregoing backward."

  "Oh, well, what if we are!" said Mrs. Noah. "We did that on the Ark halfthe time. It doesn't make any difference which way we are going as long aswe go, does it?"

  "Why, of course it does!" cried Elizabeth. "What can you be thinking of?People who walk backward are in great danger of running into other people.Why not the same with ships? It seems to me, it's a very dangerous pieceof business, sailing backward."

  "Oh, nonsense," snapped Mrs. Noah. "You are as timid as a zebra. Duringthe Flood, we sailed days and days and days, going backward. It didn'tmake a particle of difference how we went--it was as safe one way asanother, and we got just as far away in the end. Our main object now is toget away from the pirates, and that's what we are doing. Don't getemotional, Lizzie, and remember, too, that I am in charge. If I think theboat ought to go sideways, sideways she shall go. If you don't like it, itis still not too late to put you ashore."

  The threat calmed Elizabeth so
mewhat, and she was satisfied, and all wentwell with them, even if Portia had started the propeller revolving reversefashion; so that the House-boat was, as Elizabeth had said, backing herway through the ocean.

  The day passed, and by slow degrees the island and the marooned piratesfaded from view, and the night came on, and with it a dense fog.

  "We're going to have a nasty night, I am afraid," said Xanthippe, lookinganxiously out of the port.

  "No doubt," said Mrs. Noah, pleasantly. "I'm sorry for those who have tobe out in it."

  "That's what I was thinking about," observed Xanthippe. "It's going to bevery hard on us keeping watch."

  "Watch for what?" demanded Mrs. Noah, looking over the tops of her glassesat Xanthippe.

  "Why, surely you are going to have lookouts stationed on deck?" saidElizabeth.

  "Not at all," said Mrs. Noah. "Perfectly absurd. We never did it on theArk, and it isn't necessary now. I want you all to go to bed at teno'clock. I don't think the night air is good for you. Besides, it isn'tproper for a woman to be out after dark, whether she's new or not."

  "But, my dear Mrs. Noah," expostulated Cleopatra, "what will become of theship?"

  "I guess she'll float through the night whether we are on deck or not,"said the commander. "The Ark did, why not this? Now, girls, thesenew-fangled yachting notions are all nonsense. It's night, and there's afog as thick as a stone-wall all about us. If there were a hundred of youupon deck with ten eyes apiece, you couldn't see anything. You might muchbetter be in bed. As your captain, chaperon, and grandmother, I commandyou to stay below."

  "But--who is to steer?" queried Xanthippe.

  "What's the use of steering until we can see where to steer to?" demandedMrs. Noah. "I certainly don't intend to bother with that tiller until somereason for doing it arises. We haven't any place to steer to yet; we don'tknow where we are going. Now, my dear children, be reasonable, and don'tworry me. I've had a very hard day of it, and I feel my responsibilitieskeenly. Just let me manage, and we'll come out all right. I've had moreexperience than any of you, and if--"

  A terrible crash interrupted the old lady's remarks. The House-boatshivered and shook, careened way to one side, and as quickly righted andstood still. A mad rush up the gangway followed, and in a moment a hundredand eighty-three pale-faced, trembling women stood upon the deck, gazingwith horror at a great helpless hulk ten feet to the rear, fastened bybroken ropes and odd pieces of rigging to the stern-posts of theHouse-boat, sinking slowly but surely into the sea.

  "A GREAT HELPLESS HULK TEN FEET TO THE REAR"]

  It was the _Gehenna_!

  The House-boat had run her down and her last hour had come, but, thanks tothe stanchness of her build and wonderful beam, the floating club-househad withstood the shock of the impact and now rode the waters asgracefully as ever.

  Portia was the first to realize the extent of the catastrophe, and in ashort while chairs and life-preservers and tables--everything that couldfloat--had been tossed into the sea to the struggling immortals therein.On board the _Gehenna_, those who had not cast themselves into the waters,under the cool direction of Holmes and Bonaparte, calmly lowered theboats, and in a short while were not only able to felicitate themselvesupon their safety, but had likewise the good fortune to rescue their moreimpetuous brethren who had preferred to swim for it. Ultimately, all werebrought aboard the House-boat in safety, and the men in Hades were oncemore reunited to their wives, daughters, sisters, and _fiancees_, andElizabeth had the satisfaction of once more saving the life of Raleigh bythrowing him her ruff as she had done a year or so previously, when sheand her brother had been upset in the swift current of the river Styx.

  Order and happiness being restored, Holmes took command of the House-boatand soon navigated her safely back into her old-time berth. The _Gehenna_went to the bottom and was never seen again, and when the roll was calledit was found that all who had set out upon her had returned in safety saveShylock, Kidd, Sir Henry Morgan, and Abeuchapeta; but even they were notlost, for, five weeks later, these four worthies were found early onemorning drifting slowly up the river Styx, gazing anxiously out from thetop of a water-cask and yelling lustily for help.

  And here endeth the chronicle of the pursuit of the good old House-boat.Back to her moorings, the even tenor of her ways was once more resumed,but with one slight difference.

  The ladies became eligible for membership, and, availing themselves of theprivilege, began to think less and less of the advantages of being men andto rejoice that, after all, they were women; and even Xanthippe andSocrates, after that night of peril, reconciled their differences, and nolonger quarrel as to which is the more entitled to wear the toga ofauthority. It has become for them a divided skirt.

  As for Kidd and his fellows, they have never recovered from the effects oftheir fearful, though short, exile upon Holmes Island, and are but shadowsof their former shades; whereas Mr. Sherlock Holmes has so endearedhimself to his new-found friends that he is quite as popular with them ashe is with us, who have yet to cross the dark river and be subjected tothe scrutiny of the Committee on Membership at the House-boat on the Styx.

  Even Hawkshaw has been able to detect his genius.

 


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