Something Complicated (Dirty Southern Secrets Book 1)

by J. L. Leslie

  “I had fun today,” Jenna states. “I should be thanking the two of you for letting me tag along.”

  “We wouldn’t be having fish for dinner if you hadn’t.”

  She shrugs. “I did kick your butt a little.”

  “I guess you’re going to keep rubbing that in.”

  “Of course, I am,” she grins. “But I’ll only brag about it for a few years or so. I’ll be over it then. Won’t take me long.”

  I laugh and finish off the piece of fish I’ve been working on. As we eat, we catch up on old times, but I notice that she conveniently leaves Brynn out of the conversation. I know that’s tough for her to do, considering that she met me through Brynn and nearly all of our high school memories include her.

  I’m tempted to ask if they still keep in touch. If they’re as close as they previously were, but I honestly don’t want to know that answer. It’s nice to sit here and have a conversation with someone who doesn’t bring her up.

  Everyone in Chapelwood knows what happened between me and Brynn. We married young, had a baby, and she left me. It doesn’t stop them from asking me about her and then giving me pitying looks for being a single dad.

  A few times I’ve been out on dates but nothing that has been long-lasting. The woman at the bait shop is the cousin to one of Tauren’s friends and a past mistake I won’t make again. I can tell you this, you cannot hook up with someone in this town without everyone knowing about it.

  I barely made it home from her house and my phone was already ringing. Her cousin had called Tauren and I was suddenly getting a warning not to break her heart. I hated to break it to him, she was the one who made the first move.

  “I bet that creek still has that old rope swing,” Jenna says, pulling me back to our conversation.

  “I’m positive that it does. I took Willow there before school started,” I inform her. “She had a good time splashing about.”

  “She’s definitely an outdoors girl,” Jenna comments, smiling over at my daughter.

  “Brynn thought she would be a girly-girl. That she would dress her up all the time and the two of them would have tea parties and stuff.”

  I realize the moment I stop talking that it’s the first time I’ve mentioned Brynn to anyone without feeling anger toward her. I spent a lot of time being angry and I’m still mad as hell that she left and hasn’t made any effort to see Willow over the years. Brynn was excited to have a baby and then suddenly, we have one and because she isn’t perfect, she bails.

  “There’s no reason she can’t be a girly-girl and a tomboy,” Jenna replies.

  “That’s true, except I don’t know how to match her from head-to-toe and fix her hair and all that. I would hate to see how she would look with me attempting one of those French braid things.”

  “I think you’re doing just fine. She hasn’t come to school in a mismatched outfit yet.”

  “We’re only a couple weeks in,” I remind her with a wink.

  “Done!” Willow states proudly, with a mix of a ketchup and cheese around her lips.

  I look down at her plate and she has eaten all of her mac ‘n’ cheese and has taken bites around the edges of each piece of fish on her plate. She does the same thing with chicken nuggets. She never eats the full piece, only the outside. One of her many quirks.

  “Okay, give me a few minutes and I’ll get you cleaned up,” I let her know.

  I pick my plate up and carry it over to the sink, munching on fish as I walk. I notice Jenna take the initiative to wipe Willow’s mouth before she brings their plates over.

  “Let me give her a quick bath and I’ll run you home,” I tell her, and she nods.

  I pick up my daughter, not minding that she wipes her ketchup-covered hands on my t-shirt and carry her down the hall to the bathroom.

  Fifteen minutes later, Willow is dressed in her pajamas and ready to play on the iPad. My kitchen is spotless, thanks to Jenna, and I’m doing my best to think of a reason to get her to stay longer. I’m not ready to say goodbye to her just yet.

  Jenna

  Kaler waits until I open my door before he drives off. I can hear the rumble of his truck engine even though he’s getting further and further away, and I wonder which one of my nosy neighbors will ask me about him. I can guarantee that I’ll be asked why Kaler Holt was dropping me off at home and what we did together all day. It’s inevitable. My neighbors are nosy and love to spread gossip. It doesn’t matter if there’s an inkling of truth to it or not.

  I head upstairs and straight to my bathroom. I quickly strip off the fishy clothes I’m wearing and turn on my shower. I let the hot water spray over me while I think about my day with Kaler and Willow.

  After she finished her bath, I thought Kaler was going to take me home but then he asked if I wanted to play a few rounds of cards while Willow played on her iPad. I learned how to play poker from the Holt boys years ago, but we decided on Go Fish instead, just in case Willow wanted to join in.

  He didn’t mention Brynn again and I chose not to rehash any past memories. It’s obvious to me that it’s painful for him still. I can’t blame him at all. I never expected Brynn to leave Kaler, so why would he think that was ever going to happen?

  I sigh, lathering some shampoo in my hair. I know why Brynn left. I know what she was going through and how she felt because she told me. If she would’ve told Kaler, things could be different for them. Maybe she wouldn’t have left. Maybe they could’ve worked things out.

  Of course, if she hadn’t left him, I wouldn’t have been invited to go fishing with him and Willow today. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see this side of him, this person he is without Brynn. The man he’s become. I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself so much.

  Frustrated with my thoughts, I finish up and get out of the shower. Kaler is my best friend’s ex-husband. In no way, shape or form, is it okay for me to be thinking about him the way I am. To see his face when I blink. To wonder when I’ll see him again. To want to see him again.

  Nothing has happened between us for me to believe he reciprocates my feelings. In fact, his actions show me the opposite. I see a man who is still hung up on his ex to the point that he can barely speak her name. It’s possible he will never get over Brynn. She was everything to him at one point in his life.

  I keep my towel wrapped firmly around me and go into my room, pulling on the striped nightgown I wore last night. Yep, the “ugly” one. I towel dry my hair while I walk down the stairs.

  I settle in on the couch and turn my television on. I find a reality show that I can mindlessly watch. It’s all drama and hookups. The people are always drunk and always making idiots of themselves with no regard to what people think of them.

  Must be nice. I haven’t been back in Chapelwood long, but nothing has changed. You can’t have a beer on Saturday night and not hear about it on Sunday morning. I can’t anyway.

  So, I know without a doubt that I can’t pursue anything outside of friendship with Kaler. That kind of scandal would spread through Chapelwood like wildfire and both of us would get burned.

  Chapter Nine

  Kaler

  I secure Willow in her car seat and hand her a container of cereal for her to snack on. Our Sunday morning church service just dismissed a few minutes ago and I was quick to snatch Willow up and get out. Pastor Jacobs did not condemn anyone to hell today, but I missed breakfast and I’m damn starving.

  “You dropped this.”

  I turn at Jenna’s voice and she’s holding the pink bow I attempted to put in Willow’s hair this morning. I have zero problem with brushing, but when it comes to prettying it up, I’m at a loss. Sometimes brushing is even a challenge, considering that my daughter behaves like I’m performing an exorcism on her the moment the the brush touches her hair.

  “Thanks,” I tell her, taking the bow and shoving it into my pocket. I close Willow’s door and stand there with Jenna a moment.

  “You’re welcome. Smaller bows would probably work be
tter since her hair is so fine. That one was a little big for her.”

  I nod, taking her advice. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “See you tomorrow,” she tells me, turning on her heel.

  “Or you could come eat lunch with us,” I offer, unsure exactly why but knowing that I want her company today.

  When I see her hesitation, I instantly regret asking. Maybe hanging out with me is awkward for her. Aside from being friends in high school years ago, we don’t have any connection to each other now. Sure, she’s Willow’s teacher, but I don’t know too many other parents she’s spending time with outside of her classroom.

  Perhaps she was given a hard time about hanging out with me yesterday. I know her neighbors and those old biddies love to run their mouths.

  “That depends,” she replies. “Where are we going because I’m starving.”

  “You can pick,” I let her know and open the passenger door for her.

  She smoothes her dress down as she sits, crossing her legs at her ankles. Her ladylike gesture makes me smile since she was cleaning fish and talking about shooting a buck only yesterday.

  “Willow, do you like pizza?” Jenna asks, a knowing smile on her face as she looks over the front seat.

  “Sizza!” Willow squeals excitedly. “Sizza!”

  “Yes, I think I want pizza,” Jenna replies, saying “pizza” slowly and enunciating the “p.”

  Willow attempts to repeat it properly, but we still get “sizza.” Instead of getting frustrated though, Jenna repeats the word a couple of times and Willow follows suit, finally saying it properly the last time.

  “I thought today was your day off,” I joke.

  “Well, yesterday was my day off too and the day I normally sleep in, but someone showed up at my house, banging on my door, and demanding that I go fishing.”

  “I was banging on your door? Really? It was a light knock,” I argue, my tone teasing.

  “You woke the neighbors too. I’m surprised they didn’t want to go fishing with us,” she teases.

  “Mrs. Jones did ask if we enjoyed ourselves,” I tell her. “And Mr. Jones wanted to know how many fish we caught. Said he was looking for a new fishing hole.”

  “I thought I saw Mrs. Jones looking out her window when we pulled off. She’s like the neighborhood watch. She even asked me before about the brand of ice cream I eat after seeing me eating a bowl on my porch.”

  “She is definitely the nosy one in Chapelwood,” I agree.

  “Oh, there’s only one? Mrs. Sims hounds me about my social life every opportunity she gets! She wants to know if I’m going on another date with Ben, the guy who ditched me last weekend. Then there’s Mrs. Williams who believes I stole Mrs. Colson’s job from her and wants to know when I’m going to resign. And don’t get me started on Mr. Phillips!”

  “Let me guess, he brings your mail to you with the envelopes already opened?” I laugh and she gasps.

  “How did you know that?”

  “He’s been working at the post office for years and has always done that. Says it’s a service he provides to the citizens of Chapelwood.”

  “Well, the next time he tells me my water bill is too high and I should shower for only five minutes, we’re going to have a problem.”

  “I’m pretty sure he won’t be frightened by a job thief.”

  She playfully punches my arm and I watch her get comfortable in my seat, taking her sandals off and propping her bare feet on my dash. She rests her arm over the back of the seat and rolls the window down so she can feel the warm breeze on her face.

  There’s the girl I know.

  Jenna

  I laugh at Willow who has two half-eaten slices of pizza on her plate and is asking for more. Kaler said she rarely ever eats more than half of each piece but will rack up about four slices. I reach across the table and get another piece for her while Kaler takes the two pieces from her plate and starts munching on one of them.

  “I thought you would be feeding me a homemade meal today,” I tell Kaler, jokingly. “Your mama spoiled me a little last Sunday.”

  “She can definitely cook,” he agrees. “And we normally go every Sunday but today she has the ladies’ luncheon with the church.”

  “That’s going to be why my grandma didn’t concern herself with me too much and my grandpa was going fishing. Finally.”

  Kaler laughs at this, knowing how badly my grandpa has wanted to go. “Did you tell him about your haul from yesterday?”

  “I decided not to rub it in.”

  “Pish!” Willow yells, her mouth half-full of pizza.

  “Not today, Princess, but we’ll go back next weekend,” Kaler says. “I take her almost every weekend until it’s too cold to enjoy it. We still have plenty of time.”

  “I’m surprised someone hasn’t scoped out your fishing hole yet,” I comment.

  “It’s on private land actually, so they would be poachers if they did.”

  “You own that land?” I ask him, surprised.

  “Don’t look so shocked, Jenna,” he grins. “Yes, I own that land. Kipton talked me into making some investments and they paid off.”

  “Wow, I’m impressed.”

  “Bet you didn’t know a single dad like myself could make smart investment decisions.”

  I shrug and fight back a smile. “Nope, I was thinking I’m surprised one of the Holt brothers made a smart investment decision.”

  He feigns shock and then throws a piece of pizza crust at me. I pick it up and toss it back at him. Willow watches the exchange and picks up the half-eaten pizza from her plate and throws it at her daddy.

  I burst out laughing, unable to control myself. Willow laughs right along with me and it isn’t long before Kaler follows suit, the three of us laughing hysterically. A few people glance in our direction, no doubt being nosy as to why we’re making so much noise.

  “Okay, let’s get you cleaned up, Princess,” Kaler says, his laughter finally fading. “No more food fights.”

  Willow continues to pick pepperoni off her pizza while Kaler cleans her face with a napkin. He moves down to her hands and she starts to wiggle in her seat.

  “Willow, do you need to go potty?” I ask her, recognizing her potty dance.

  Kaler looks up at me and then glances around the pizza parlor for the restroom. He stands up and eases her out of the booster seat she’s sitting in. I can tell he isn’t sure which bathroom to take her to. He can’t go into the women’s room and he’s unsure how it will look if he takes her into the men’s.

  “I’ll take her,” I let him know and he reluctantly hands her over to me.

  “Are you sure?” he asks and I put her down, gripping her hand with mine.

  “I’m sure.”

  I quickly walk Willow back to the women’s restroom and sure enough, she potties! She’s gone a few times for me in class, but we’ve had our accidents as well. Knowing that she’s meeting this milestone is an amazing feeling. When she finishes, I wash her hands and tell her how good a job she did. She even gives me an excited high-five!

  “Did she actually go?” Kaler questions when we return to the table.

  “Tell your daddy what you did,” I instruct Willow and she claps for herself, doing her best to jump up and down although her tiny feet don’t quite come off the floor.

  “I potty!

  Kaler leans over and gives her a kiss on the cheek, telling her how proud he is. I can see it written all over his face. He’s so proud of his little girl.

  I blink back tears, making sure he didn’t see my eyes watering up. Seeing the two of them like this makes me question how Brynn could ever walk away. How could she not want to be a part of their lives? I’ve only been part of their lives a short period of time, and already I don’t want to miss out on anything.

  Chapter Ten

  Kaler

  I slam the hood down, wiping my greasy hands on my coveralls. My dad took the day off, so I’ve been taking care of all the work at the sh
op. We stay pretty steady for a small town. Besides, we are the only shop in Chapelwood.

  “I really think you should consider it,” Kipton says.

  He’s sitting on my dad’s stool, enjoying a cheeseburger. I knew when he called to see if he could swing by on his lunch break that he wanted something from me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother and we do spend time together, but we don’t do lunch together. He usually has some big-wig executive to entertain. So, when he called me I knew he was up to something.

  “I’m not going to fucking consider it,” I inform him, trying not to get frustrated, but the anger is clear in my tone.

  He swallows his food. “She’s the mother of your child, Kaler.”

  “Oh, is she?” I reply, dryly. “Is she the one who’s been raising Willow for the past five years? Is she the one who takes care of her when she’s sick? Better yet, is she the one who knows all of her favorite things, what she likes to eat, and how much she loves fishing?”

  “We all know she hasn’t been around, man,” Kipton agrees. “But damn it, she reached out to me when you wouldn’t answer her. She said she’s been trying to get in touch with you for a long time.”

  “That’s right, I didn’t answer her!” I tell him. “I ignored every single call and text she made to me, and do you want to know why, Kip? She ignored me for years! Two years I tried to reach out to her, get her to talk to me! Get her to be part of our family! I gave up and that’s exactly what the fuck she needs to do!”

  Kipton stands from the stool and tosses his wrapper into the garbage. “She wants to see her, and she has the right to.”

  “She gave up her rights the moment she walked out on us,” I grit out through clenched teeth. “You can tell her that next time she reaches out to you.”

  “That’s how it’s going to be then?” he questions me. “You’re going to completely shut Brynn out of Willow’s life because she left you?”

  “She didn’t just leave me, Kip! She shut herself off from me and from our daughter!”