Something Complicated (Dirty Southern Secrets Book 1)

by J. L. Leslie

  This woman, Jenna Winston, she’s the love of my life.

  Her hands tremble in mine. Tears roll down her cheeks. She’s silent and I’m not certain if her silence is a good thing or a bad thing.

  “Jenna?” I manage. “Jenna, please.”

  “I love you, too, Kaler. I love you and Willow so much.”

  I kiss her and when our lips touch, I swear, it feels like all of my senses are going haywire. That they’re confused and don’t know what they’re supposed to do, how to function. I know of only one word to describe this feeling and I’m completely comfortable with it now.

  Complicated.

  Jenna

  I lie with my back to Kaler’s chest. I know that neither one of us want to get up, but we need to. We spent the majority of the day in his bed yesterday, but we didn’t just make love. We talked and I told him why Brynn left. He didn’t want to believe her before, about her Post-Partem Depression, but he finally admitted last night the he knew she was different after she had Willow.

  “We always argued before we found out we were pregnant,” he admits. “You know how we were in high school, breaking up and making up, but she was happy when we found out we were pregnant. I couldn’t figure out why she never wanted to hold Willow or have anything to do with her.”

  “Post-Partem affects everyone differently. I wish she would’ve talked to you about it. She didn’t even tell me until after the divorce was final.”

  “I begged her to talk to me, Jenna,” he says. “I called her after she left. I just wanted her to come back and talk to me to see if we could make things right between us, but she never answered me. How could she walk away from Willow like that?”

  “Running was her solution,” I tell him. “She told me she didn’t know her diagnosis when she left. She sought treatment and told me afterward. I know you didn’t decide on what to do about Brynn last night, but I really think you need to talk to her, maybe give her a chance with Willow. She really wants to spend time with her and I’m going to do what I can to make things right with her. She’s my closest friend and I don’t want to lose that.”

  “I would’ve helped her, you know, whether we were together or not.”

  “I told her that. I know she didn’t understand what was going on at the time and I think she was ashamed that she felt the way she did. It scared her, so she did the only thing she felt she could and in her own way, she thought she was protecting you and Willow.”

  He kisses my shoulder and eases up, slowly climbing off his bed. He reaches for my hand and I let him pull me from the bed. We shower together and get dressed, knowing what we have to do. What the right thing to do is.

  An hour later, I stand on the Oakwoods’ porch with Kaler and I’m nervous as hell. Brynn has had the rest of Saturday to cool off and I pray that she has. I also pray that she’ll talk to me, hear me out.

  Kaler called Mr. Oakwood and told him Brynn could come over. In fact, he asked him to have her come over before church so we could speak with her. He didn’t want to postpone it.

  “Well, isn’t this cute. The two of you dressed in your Sunday best and heading off to church together,” Brynn comments when she opens the door.

  “Can I talk to you?” I ask her, and Kaler steps inside.

  Brynn is hesitant, but she eventually steps out onto the porch closing the door behind her. She crosses her arms over her chest, and it’s clear she doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say to her.

  “If you’re going to apologize to me then you can save it.”

  “I’m not going to apologize because that would mean what Kaler and I have between us is wrong, and we don’t believe it is,” I tell her. “I am sorry that we hurt you. I do regret that we weren’t honest with you from the start. The moment I realized that I was starting to feel something for him, I should have told you and I regret that I didn’t.”

  “When?”

  I sigh, trying to pinpoint the exact moment. “He showed up at my house one Saturday morning to take me fishing and I don’t know, it was easy and fun, and I found myself anxiously waiting for the next time I would see him and Willow.”

  “Ugh, fishing?” Brynn laughs a little, and then this sadness crosses over her face. “I always hated fishing.”

  “And then we would go for these walks and it was relaxing. It became routine for us but not boring by any means. I looked forward to it. And, Brynn, we tried to be friends. We knew we should be friends, that anything more than that would get the gossip mills running, but‒”

  “I get it, Jenna,” Brynn interrupts. “And it did hurt, walking in and seeing you there. Knowing the two of you were together. I thought you could tell me anything and then realizing you had been hiding that from me was like a slap to my face.”

  “Once it started, I didn’t know how to tell you. How to tell anyone,” I admit. “I am sorry that I hurt you.”

  “Kaler is such a good guy,” she says, her bright blue eyes filling with tears. “I hurt him so badly before and I know you’ll take care of him. He deserves a good woman. Willow deserves someone like you too.”

  Kaler steps onto the porch when she says this, Willow in his arms. “Willow deserves her mama too, Brynn.”

  Brynn gasps, her tears spilling over and down her cheeks. “Are you serious? I can see her? Spend time with her?”

  “We’ll take things slow, but yes. I wish you would’ve talked to me before, about everything, I would have understood. I would have helped you.”

  “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, but I got help, Kaler. I’m better now and I can be good to Willow. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  He hands Willow to her and places his arm around my waist. “No court filings?”

  Brynn shakes her head. “I was just mad. I would never try to take her away from you. I only want to see her.”

  “We’ll make this work, Brynn,” he assures her. “Besides, we could use you on our side against Chapelwood Elementary. There’s a meeting tomorrow night.”

  “I’m always on your side,” she smiles at us both and gives Willow a kiss on her cheek.

  I smile up at Kaler. “I guess we can all go to church now and expose our dirty little secret.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Kaler

  I step out of my truck and go around to the passenger side to open the door for Jenna. She’s nervous, I can tell, but I assure her she has nothing to worry about.

  “It’s church, Jenna. How bad can they really be?” I ask her, a slight smile playing at my lips as I open my back door for Willow.

  “You keep telling yourself that,” she groans. “The same type of people inside are the same type of people who crucified Jesus.”

  “They also believe in a merciful God, so hopefully they will show us mercy as he has shown to them.”

  Jenna smiles at this and as I’m unbuckling Willow, Brynn pulls up and parks beside us. Her parents aren’t far behind her and neither are mine. I called my mama as soon as we left the Oakwoods and told her I followed her advice. I wanted her to be prepared because we were giving all of Chapelwood something to talk about this morning at church.

  Brynn gets out of her car and approaches us. “We go in there together, okay?”

  “Not without us,” my daddy says.

  “Or us,” Mrs. Oakwood comments, despite the fact they’ve been going to the Methodist church for a couple years now.

  I nod and lower Willow to the ground before taking Jenna’s hand. I hold Willow’s hand too and she reaches up to take one of Brynn’s hands. I can see tears sparkling in Brynn’s eyes. We walk together to the church doors, as one big family.

  “Hey, did you think we’d let you have all the fun!” Tauren calls out from his truck window, speeding through the church parking lot with Kipton riding shot gun.

  Jenna laughs, shaking her head. We wait on them to join us and then I push open the church doors. People are still standing about, talking and fellowshipping u
ntil the service starts.

  It only takes a couple stares before whispering begins. They ripple through the church, southern hush-hush at its finest. Everyone wants to know what Brynn is doing here, why I’m holding Jenna’s hand, but no one wants to ask. They would rather speculate and come up with their own outlandish stories.

  I can hear some of them whispering. I thought she had a boyfriend. Were they sleeping together while he was married to Brynn? Is that why Brynn left him?

  “Well, I’ll be,” Jenna’s grandma says, loud enough for the whole church to hear. “Glad you decided to come back to Chapelwood, Brynn. And I’m glad the two of you decided to stop that sneaking around you were doing the past few months. You weren’t fooling anybody.”

  I hear my mama snickering behind me and she nudges me forward, letting me know that was our icebreaker and to take advantage of it.

  “I’m glad Brynn is back too, Mrs. Winston. Willow’s happy to have her mama here.”

  And just like that, the tension in the room is gone. Sure, people are still talking about us, but they’re going to talk regardless. It wouldn’t matter what we did. People will believe I cheated with Jenna if that’s what they want to believe. They’ll believe she’s the reason Brynn left if that’s the story they concoct. The truth is what they want it to be, no matter what truth we tell.

  We’ll keep the gossip mill going for a while. That’s the way it works and probably the way it’ll always work. We can handle being the talk of the town, at least until someone else in this small town does something to take the heat off of us.

  Pastor Jacobs comes to his podium and I notice his gaze flicker over us, the momentary shock registering on his face before he quickly steels his expression. He just might have a field day with his sermon today.

  He starts his sermon out with a prayer, like he always does, and then asks if we have any prayer request. This is his usual routine before diving into his sermon.

  I look over at Jenna and she squeezes my hand. I’ve never felt compelled to speak out in church, to ask for prayer, but today is different. Today isn’t about me.

  I raise my hand and stand up, shocking the hell out of my family. “Pastor Jacobs, I have a prayer request.”

  Jenna

  I check the time again and try not to worry. It’s almost time for the meeting to start. I know Kaler wouldn’t miss it. This is for Willow, after all.

  When he stood up in church yesterday and told Pastor Jacobs he had a prayer request, I was stunned. I had no idea what he was going to request.

  My daughter needs our help.

  Those five words brought tears to my eyes. He wanted help for Willow. Help for today. We’ve done our research and know that she has a right to her education here, but sometimes what’s right isn’t always upheld. Sometimes we have to fight for it.

  The door to the auditorium opens and Kaler walks in, his brothers and parents following behind with Brynn. Willow calls out for him and I put her down so that she can run to him.

  We considered not having her in attendance, but we also wanted the people who are against her being in this school to see the child they are opposed to having around their own children. To see what they are so afraid of. An innocent little girl.

  When Kaler picks her up, the door opens again, and my mouth drops in surprise. The majority of our church congregation files in. I don’t miss the subtle touch of Helene’s hand on Tauren’s shoulder as she passes him, but Pastor Jacobs doesn’t seem to notice.

  The commotion of them entering draws the attention of the other people in attendance. They turn in their chairs, gaping and staring at the crowd that has arrived. Principal Hawkins rises from his chair and approaches me, his lips set in a thin line.

  “What is this, Ms. Winston?” he questions me, waving a hand at the people arriving.

  “I’m not certain. This is an open forum, correct?” I challenge and his face goes pale. “Perhaps they’re here to express their concerns.”

  Just yesterday, these people were gossiping about me and Kaler. About how I cheated on Alex. Wondering if I was the reason Brynn and Kaler’s marriaged ended.

  Today, they are here supporting us. Doing what they can to help us keep Willow enrolled in Chapelwood Elementary. Telling their stories of this beautiful child and how she’s changed their lives.

  It’s small town life at it’s finest. We might bicker back and forth, talk about each other, but we are one big dysfunctional family when it comes down to it.

  Despite the support we have, the meeting doesn’t go without a hitch. Some parents did their own research too, providing studies to show how special needs children excel at private special needs schools. They suggest Willow would be better suited at a school designed for children like her and mention that there’s one in Tuscaloosa, where Brynn lives.

  “I am making arrangements to move back to Chapelwood,” Brynn explains. “And I’m in complete agreement with her father that Willow should continue her education here at Chapelwood Elementary.”

  I have to fight the urge to stand and support them, knowing that any opinion I give will be viewed as biased. I know that I’ve provided them with enough information to fight this. Besides, everyone here knows that I support them.

  They continue to share their studies, discuss how Willow is best suited to receive her education from an aide or tutor, and how she is not only holding the classroom back, but how they will hold her back as well.

  Principal Hawkins suggest the board vote on the matter without having heard us out. Without hearing anyone in favor of Willow staying enrolled in Chapelwood Elementary out. I want to scream!

  “Wait a minute! Haven’t you heard what everyone has said? There are people here who support us!” Brynn yells, but Kaler stops her.

  “Principal Hawkins, board members, parents,” he begins. “I’ve sat here and listened to my friends and family tell you how wonderful my daughter is. I’ve listened to you tell me about the studies you have found and how I should send my daughter away to another school. How my daughter is best suited learning from a tutor and who knows, I may hire one for her. But she is not holding her class back and they aren’t holding her back. This meeting was, pardon my French, bullshit and a waste of time!”

  The people in attendance gasp and murmur, shocked that he would curse during the meeting, and I bite back a smile.

  “You can throw all you want at us, but you should know, I’ve found my own studies and done my own research. I’m fully aware that Willow has the right to attend school here. It’s not a favor you are providing for her. You can do your best to kick my child out of school, but I’ve already contacted the Alabama Disabilities Advocacy Program and I know it can’t be done, so don’t try to tell me that your board can vote on it when I know they can’t. I might only be a mechanic with a high school education, but I will do anything for my little girl.”

  A round of applause explodes from the church members who are here to support us. They might not have liked his profanity, but they like his message. Better yet, they support him.

  “Mr. Hawkins,” Pastor Jacobs stands. “I know you’re a Christian man and that you’ve opened your heart to listen to the accounts these people have rendered to you and to the request of these young parents. Can we all agree that this matter is settled?”

  I know I’m probably holding my breath, but I manage to breathe in when Principal Hawkins ends the meeting. He says the matter will be discussed by the board, but I think we all know it’s over.

  I hug Kaler’s neck and sigh when his arms go around my waist. “I love you,” I tell him. “I’m so proud of you.”

  “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

  “Yes, you could have,” I assure. “Willow is lucky to have you as her daddy.”

  “I’m the lucky one.”

  Epiloque

  Kaler

  One Month Later

  Jenna squeals, gripping the ‘oh shit’ handle as I floor it and slam into the monstrous mud pud
dle. We’re on Kipton’s land, me and my brothers mud riding after a thunderstorm has graced us a muddied field and puddles the perfect size for our trucks to get stuck in.

  Willow is playing on a blanket with Brynn, clapping her hands and laughing at the excitement. Things have been going well with Brynn and her visitation. We’ve fallen into an easy routine together.

  Brynn moved in with her parents and she’s hoping to find herself a place of her own here in Chapelwood now that she’s gotten a job as a journalist at the Chapelwood Courant. Brynn is even volunteering on the PTO, the parent-teacher organization, to ensure there are activities at Chapelwood Elementary that Willow can be involved in. I’m happy for her and hope that she’s happy now too.

  Children are so resilient. Willow behaves as though Brynn didn’t miss the first five years of her life. In her eyes, she’s always been there, and forgiveness came easily.

  I did find out that Kipton helped Brynn see her a few other times. We nearly came to blows about that, but we’re brothers. We fight and then move on. In some ways, I understand why he did what he did. I don’t have to agree with it though.

  We held Willow’s sixth birthday party at the indoor playground Jenna and I took her to before. It was the first birthday party Brynn had been to and she went all out with a three-tiered cake. Willow practically destroyed the top part, digging into it with her bare hands. We promised her next birthday cake would be more lowkey.

  I wave to Willow as we drive by and she jumps to her feet, reaching her arms out to me. There’s no way in hell I’d let her ride with me no matter how much she wanted to. Now, Jenna wouldn’t take no for an answer. I glance over at her smiling face and I love how this woman has had my back.

  I hit a deep puddle and mud splashes over my windshield. Jenna burst out laughing, wiping mud from her arm. I hear a horn blow and Tauren races in front of me, Helene sitting so close to him she’s nearly in his lap.