It Ain't Me, Babe

by Tillie Cole

  Rider patted the seat. “Climb on, sugar and wrap your hands around my waist,” he instructed.

  The sudden, deafening growling roar of the bike’s engine startled me. When I glanced up, I could see Styx staring at me through his wing mirrors. His lips were tight, teeth bared, hazel eyes blazing…

  “Mae?” Rider called again. Painting on a smile, I climbed onto the warm leather seat. Taking the proffered helmet from his hand, I placed it on my head. “Wrap your arms around my waist, Mae. Hold on real tight,” Rider instructed once more.

  Swallowing hard to calm my nerves, I slipped my arms around Rider’s waist, clutching tightly to the leather jacket, inhaling the smell of the fresh summer grass. The unmistakable scent of old leather permeated the air and the thick aroma of engine smoke whipped around the pack of bikes.

  Rider revved his engine, the entire bike vibrating against my legs. Styx held up his right hand and pointed forward and we moved out of the compound as one, in a staggered cavalcade. Styx led the way; a large truck filled with food and drinks took up the rear. We began to make our way down the long, deserted road.

  I had never felt so alive, so free…

  Chapter Eleven

  Mae

  I confess I had never seen anything like it. Tall buildings dominated the skyline, streets teamed with people, and music of all kinds played on every corner. We had traveled about an hour to the center of Austin, Texas and I was instantly in love with the experience.

  So this is what the outside world looks like, I thought. This is a world filled with evil? Viewing the happy smiling faces of the people we passed, I struggled to believe this truth.

  My eyes could not drink in all of the new sights. I especially found it fascinating how people would stop and watch us pass by, some staring in awe and some in blatant fear, often hiding their small children behind their backs.

  We slowed as one at a red light. After Rider explained that red lights mean for traffic to stop, I scanned the surrounding area. I noticed people pointing small black devices at us. Turning to Rider, I asked, “Why are people acting like that?”

  He shrugged. “Folks know us ’round here. Wanna get it on video. It’s a rare sight, us all out together.” He did not say any more about it. I was not sure if this was a good or a bad thing.

  We rode through the center of the city, out to a less busy area, green fields suddenly coming into view. The countryside looked beautiful and flowers of every color lined the sides of the roads. There were rolling acres of corn and wheat farms and animals grazing on the pastures. I did not realize I was fisting Rider’s jacket until we slowed and he told me with a quiet grin it was too distracting.

  Blushing profusely, I loosened my hold.

  The open landscape soon turned into clusters of trees and, turning left, we entered what I read was McKinney State Falls Park. Gathered all around were pockets of families and young people. My eyes widened at what they were wearing: tiny tops and shorts… and nothing else. So much exposed skin and flesh. They looked happy, though, until they heard the growl of the Hangmen pack streaming in.

  The families ran for their cars, throwing their possessions into their vehicles, rapidly discharging from the park. The young girls and boys scattered, generally in the opposite direction to our heading. The Hangmen rode on through, the brothers unfazed.

  We passed a sign reading “no vehicles,” but Styx paid no mind to the order. The pack dropped into single file and cruised down the shady narrow path. We stayed on the trail for a while, bending and winding down little valleys and up hills, until we hit an open space where we slowed to a stop.

  Rider switched off his engine and, unclasping my hands from around his waist, I kicked my leg off the seat to stand. But my legs had other plans. As soon as my boots hit the ground, my legs wobbled. Rider reached out to steady me, pulling me to his chest. “Careful there, Mae. You’re gonna be unsteady after your first ride.”

  Unable to stop the giggle climbing up my throat, I burst into laughter. Rider smiled in response as he unclipped my helmet. He lifted the helmet off my head, then slowly smoothed back my unkempt hair. I met his brown eyes and swallowed.

  A sharp tinny sound beside me prompted me to look around. Styx was lighting a cigarette, all the while glaring at Rider’s hands like he wanted to rip them from their wrists. Then with a sharp turn, Styx walked away.

  Rider lowered his hands, and gathering a bag from the side of his bike, he guided me to a footpath surrounded by trees. All of the Hangmen began to follow, carrying a few small grills and the sacks of food and drink. They were all happy and it was a nice atmosphere to be around.

  As we neared the end of the path, I could hear the sound of flowing water. Then we burst into a huge open space and I gasped at the beauty before me. Breaking away from Rider, I hurried forward and stood on the edge of a sprawling rock. I looked down into the crystal-blue waters, a heavy waterfall crashing into the rippling pool below. My hands flew to my mouth and water glistened in my eyes.

  A hand rubbed at my back, and when I turned around, Beauty stood beside me, staring at the view. “Beautiful ain’t it, honey?”

  Nodding my head, I huffed out a single laugh and replied, “The most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It looks like what I imagine paradise to be.”

  Hugging me close, she said, “When you’re ready, we’re setting up the grill. Come join us.” I glanced behind me and saw the entire club looking back, mesmerized by my reaction. Styx was already sat back against a tree, sipping a beer, watching me, always watching me. My lips pulled into a happy smile.

  Ignoring the men staring at me, I sat on the edge of the rock and gazed upon the sight before me. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of Bella. I knew how much she would have loved this place—the turquoise waters, the sandy rocks, and, most of all, the freedom. Closing my eyes, I raised my head skyward and offered a silent prayer for my dear sister.

  I smiled.

  Despite my loss of faith in The Order, I still believed she was in a better place than the commune. I just felt it in my heart: a sense of peace. Hopefully she was looking down on me, seeing this exact moment, sharing in the freedom, and most of all, seeing me happy for the first time in my life.

  After several minutes of solitude, I slipped off the black leather jacket, too hot in the summer heat, and fiddled with the small straps of the tank. I had never… would never… wear something so revealing. Baring my arms for all to see was taking some getting used to.

  Standing up, I turned around and headed back to where everyone was sitting. Several of the women, including Beauty, had stripped into the tiniest of bathing suits and they were sitting with their men, proudly holding them in their arms, kissing them all over, their hands roaming, touching, and stroking.

  Styx was still by the tree, Lois and Ky at his sides. He was not touching her, just watching me like a hawk. Warmth spread in my stomach from his attention.

  Spotting Rider with Beauty, Tank, Letti, and Bull, I walked toward them. Rider shed his jacket, spreading it out on the ground, gesturing for me to sit down and I acknowledged his politeness with a bow of my head.

  Letti thrust a brown bottle in my hands. “Drink. You’ll like it.”

  “Thank you.” I tentatively put the bottle to my lips. I took a tiny sip and immediately spat out the liquid. Laughing echoed all around me.

  I confronted Letti. “What was that?!?”

  Winking, she said, “Bud. Beer. Hops. The drink of the fuckin’ gods! But I take it you’re not a fan?”

  With a shudder, I shook my head. Bull took the bottle from my hand and drank the whole thing in one long, appreciative gulp.

  “More for me, then.” He grinned.

  Giggling, Beauty leaned over a shirtless Tank to a large blue box. She pulled out a small can, opened the top, and said, “Here, try this, honey.”

  This time sniffing the contents first, I brought it to my mouth, slowly trying a sip. This one tasted a whole lot better. In fact, it was ama
zing!

  “That better?” Beauty was now sat in front of me, practically bouncing with excitement. I nodded my head and took another sip.

  “What is it?”

  “A cooler. It’s what I drink, though I get shit from all’a these dicks for doing so. Too girly, apparently. But not anymore! Drinking buddy!” Beauty trilled and tapped her can to mine.

  The grill was smoking behind us. The smell of the barbeque sausage and steak made my mouth water. I had never eaten so well as I had this past month, never knew food could be so enjoyable to consume.

  The minutes rolled on as someone played music, the men mostly lazed around, and a few brave souls moved, jumping off rocks and into the cool pool of water.

  I was actually having fun. Up until now I had not known what fun was.

  “Hey! Snow White!”

  I watched as Rider turned his head behind me, then met my eyes. “They’re talkin’ to you, Mae.”

  Glancing around, I saw Viking, Flame, and AK all huddled together, looking my way. They had been on the “run” with Styx and only just returned. I was not sure about this trio. Of all the brothers, they were the scariest in the club—by far—particularly Flame. As handsome as the man was—perfectly sharp features, toned physique, dark hair—the soulless look in his black, dead eyes froze me to the bone. The way he watched everyone with constant suspicion, the way he could never sit still for more than a few minutes at a time, the way he always held a blade, rolling it between his fingers and stabbing it into his flesh, did nothing to make me feel safe.

  I looked at Rider, who had stripped to a white T-shirt, his bronzed, muscled arms now on display and his trademark bandana keeping back his long hair. “What or who is Snow White?” I enquired.

  He smirked and a playful glint flashed in his eyes. “She’s a cartoon character.” I frowned. I had no idea what a cartoon was. Rider had clearly seen this in my expression. He laughed. “She had black hair and blue eyes, pretty damn hot for a moving drawing. It’s what they call you.”

  I swallowed hard as his eyes bore into mine. Over the last few weeks, the way Rider looked at me had become more intense. The way he treated me became less aloof and more considerate. The distance he tried to keep seemed to lessen daily.

  A piece of bread from a burger bun hit my arm. Turning, Viking jerked his chin, trying to get my attention again. “You gonna tell us where you came from, mystery girl?”

  My heart seized as he asked the question. I looked at Rider for help. “You don’t need to answer that question if you don’t want to,” he assured, a deep frown on his face. The chatter that had been filling the humid air quieted. Most folks now listened in.

  “I… I do not know the location,” I replied quietly. “It was forbidden.”

  Viking looked at AK and Flame, and laughed. “You don’t know where you lived, grew up? Are you fuckin’ joking?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “No, the women were never allowed to know. We, the sisters, never left… ever. I was never permitted to leave my quarters, apart from on special occasions. The brothers left commune from time to time, but even then it was only rarely. They did not want to be away from us too long in the sinful outside world.”

  “Left where? What the fuck you gettin’ at?” Flame asked, with a wide grimace. Chills shivered down my spine as I read the word PAIN tattooed on his gums.

  Swallowing back my fear, I answered, “The… the commune. The Order. My… home… my people.”

  The confused faces of the club members began to suffocate me, and my hands set to tremble. Rider’s denim-covered leg was flush next to mine and I felt him stiffen at my words. I did not understand what was wrong with them all. Was my upbringing that peculiar to them all? By their shocked expressions, I surmised it was.

  “I… I ran away, found a way out and got injured as I did so. That is how I hurt my leg,” I added quickly.

  AK leaned forward. “And how the fuck did you find us? We live in the middle of nowhere. You weren’t sent here, were you? Some us have some real suspicions ’bout a bitch turning up outta the blue, setting up camp at the compound.”

  “No… no… I… A woman in a truck found me on a deserted road and after a couple of hours traveling, I felt sick, due to my injury, so I asked her to let me out where we were. The clubhouse was the closest thing nearby, so I made my way there. The next thing I remember was waking up in bed… in Styx’s room.” I pointed in Styx’s direction but did not look his way.

  “And how d’you know Prez? That was quite the reunion in the bar and he ain’t saying shit about it or about why he’s protecting you. You open those long-ass pins and pussy-trap him? You convince him to let you stay with a good fuck?” Viking asked. The other brothers laughed at his crude comment. I dropped my mouth and hesitated in my answer when, suddenly, Viking looked up with his palms thrust out, shuffling back against a rock.

  Turning around, I saw Styx behind me, his white T-shirt off and tucked into the waistband on his jeans, a frightening look of fury on his face. I squirmed as I stared up at his wide bare chest, muscles bulging under taut skin. His shoulders were perfectly formed, every inch of skin covered in colored tattoos. His stomach; Lord, his stomach was outlined with hard packets of muscle. Beads of sweat trickled into the low waistband of his jeans and down a deep, defined V on his lower abdomen. I suddenly felt too hot in my leathers. Blushing, I caught Beauty’s knowing gaze at my reaction but Rider’s expression of concern.

  “Fine, I’ll leave it,” Viking said, interrupting my impure thoughts.

  I faced the redheaded giant of a man and answered, “I do not know him, not really and especially not the way you are suggesting. He is kind and gentle to me, though. I like him very much.”

  It seemed as if tens of breaths were held in unison as Styx’s hazel gaze collided with mine. Suddenly, a peel of laughter let rip, snapping us both out of our reverie.

  “Gentle? Kind? Fuck, she don’t know him too well at all!” AK staggered to his feet, clearly having had too much to drink, waving his bottle of liquor in his hands, shirt off, jeans unbuttoned at the top, a huge cross tattooed on his chest. “He’s the fuckin’ Hangmen Mute, the giver of permanent smiles!”

  Ky stomped over to AK. Walking straight up to him, Ky punched AK square in the face, knocking him to the ground. As Ky hovered above AK’s out-cold body, he hissed loudly, “Shut the fuck up. I’m tired of your damn voice!”

  I did not realize how close I had shifted to Rider for protection and I blushed when I found myself sitting in the warm curve of his stomach, his arm behind, but not touching, my back. A rustle of leaves attracted my attention and I turned only to see the heavily tattooed back of Styx entering the thick forest, leaving us all behind. My heart dropped in sadness.

  “Stop what y’all are doing!”

  A man wearing a beige uniform came on unsteady feet through the north of the trees, a large rifle shaking in his thin arms. “You’re not allowed vehicles on this land, so I’m gonna have to ask y’all to leave.”

  Ky threw back his head and laughed, Viking and Flame flanking him, doing the same. “Well, if it isn’t Ranger Fuckin’ Smith!” Ky barked out.

  Viking strutted forward, ignoring the safety of the gun clicking. “Where’s Yogi, busy butt-fuckin’ Boo-Boo?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but it seemed humorous to the brothers and women around me.

  Viking met the man up close, his chest flush to the end of the rifle’s barrel. “Run along, little ranger, before we stop playin’ nice. You’re lucky you caught us on a fuckin’ good day.”

  The man’s eyes darted anxiously around the group, all the men casually standing on their feet, the girls carrying on talking and drinking as though oblivious to the threat of Viking being shot through the chest at any moment.

  “I’ll… call th-the police!” he threatened weakly, falling over his words.

  Ky threw up his hands. “Oh no! Not the police!” He smiled his devastatingly handsome smile and said, “Go ahead. They�
�re all on the fuckin’ payroll anyway. They won’t do shit. They, unlike you, you jumped-up little runt, know not to fuck with the Hangmen.”

  The man’s eyes widened at that piece of information. He began backing away, pointing his gun at several of the brothers before fleeing into the bushes.

  Whooping and whistling, the brothers pulled out their guns and fired them into the air. The noise was as deafening as thunder.

  Ky turned around, unbuttoning his jeans. I closed my eyes before he completely bared himself, but I heard him shout, “Bitches get naked, tits and pussies out! Brothers, I’ll see you in the water!” Squeals and laughter echoed off the large rocks, and I opened my eyes to behold bare bodies launching off the high ground into the water.

  Beauty was on her feet and reached down to me. “Let’s go!”

  Shaking my head, I insisted, “No. You go. I shall stay here.” She rolled her eyes, clearly about to protest but Tank ran for her, scooping her over his shoulder and raced over the edge. Beauty screamed a bloodcurdling scream.

  Letti and Bull had moved to lower ground to watch the antics… That only left Rider and me sat up at the camp.

  “You not going in?” I asked.

  Rider rubbed his bristly brown beard and smiled. “Not my thing.”

  Tilting my head, I studied him. “You are nothing like the others.”

  One dark eyebrow rose.

  “What I mean is, you do not drink, smoke, or use the women. Though they seem mighty disappointed at that. You are never angry. You are quiet, a thinker… a healer.”

  Rider shrugged. “Don’t mean I haven’t done my fair share of bad shit, sugar. Life on the road’s a whole lot different to what you’re seeing back at the compound.”

  “But still. It has been nice to have you around. Thank you… You make me feel safe.”

  Rider’s dark gaze locked on to me. Sensing a worrying shift in my mood, I stood up quickly and looked down at his startled expression.