Binding Devotion

by Kiki Archer

  “WHOSE HOUSE?” cried Janet.

  “ANDI’S!” came the echoey reply.

  Chapter Thirty Three

  Andi had managed to hold it together for the short taxi ride home. She had put all thoughts of Pippa and their emotional bond, to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the task ahead - saving her marriage. She nodded in agreement at her positive plans and jumped out of the cab, rounding the corner into Wellington Place. She spotted the oversized silver Range Rover parked in the distance and felt a shiver of apprehension. Zara was home. She shook herself free of the worry, reminding herself that their discussion and parting at G-Sterling had been pleasant enough. She thought back to the brochures that Zara had ordered without prompting and remembered the promise that she had made in return. A fresh start without the distraction of work. A fresh start with the potential of children. A fresh start for them all. She veered to the left, passing through the two white pillars and walking up the short path towards their front door. Andi suddenly froze at the sight of the dog.

  Mimi was tied to the drainpipe next to the front door. “Shit,” gasped Andi, scurrying backwards and leaning into the bushes. She reached inside her pocket for her phone. “Shit,” she gasped again, remembering where she had left it. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind, but only one jumped out. She had to save Zara. She popped her head back out of the white pillars and glanced up and down the street. No one was around. “Shit,” she gasped again, racing back up the path to the front door, not quite sure of her plan. Mimi yapped twice and started to sniff her shoes. She looked down at her feet at the ball of fluff and noticed the pristine metal boot scraper next to the hard bristled mat. It was shaped like a rugby post and designed to clean the mud off your shoes, but it had very rarely been used and was incredibly clean. She bent down and lifted it slowly, surprised at its weight, but confident in her ability to swing it if necessary. She propped it between her knee and the wall and reached into her pocket for her house keys. She slid the key into the lock, pleased that hers hadn’t been the set recently replaced. The door opened quietly and she pressed her ear into the gap, listening for movement. Nothing. She took the metal weight in both hands and slowly used her shoulder to push open the door. She listened again. Still nothing. Andi took a deep breath and stepped into the warm hall. Mimi started to whine.

  Andi had no choice. She returned the weight to one hand and used the other to clip the front door closed. She froze on the hall mat, barely able to breath. The weight was getting heavier so she lifted it with both hands into her stomach. She listened. There was nothing. Just silence. No voices. No shouting. No murdering. Andi shook her head. It’s only Elizabeth, she told herself again. She swallowed quietly and tried to formulate a plan. If she could make it to the home office she could phone for help. She took a couple of tiny steps, desperately trying to remember which floorboards squeaked. A sudden bang from the kitchen at the end of the hall, made her jump.

  “That’s it! Your five minutes are up.” Zara’s voice was loud. “I’m not telling you again. You’ve had your fun, now just get out of my house!”

  Andi took two tiny steps on her tip-toes, desperately trying to avoid the clack of her heels.

  Zara shouted again. “How dare you try and bribe me with that file? You’re a disgrace. My marriage is stronger than that.”

  Andi jumped, catching sight of herself in the long hallway mirror. The vision had shocked her, but she noticed her reflection had been smiling; smiling at the confirmation of Zara’s belief. Zara valued their marriage. She gave herself a nod in the mirror and made another tiny tip-toe step.

  “I’m here for Andi.” Elizabeth’s voice was strained. “I’m waiting for Andi.”

  “Never!” snarled Zara. “You’ve done enough damage.”

  “Do you know what damage is?” Elizabeth was getting louder. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Why? So you can threaten her again. So you can throw offal in her face? Everybody knows your dirty little secret, Elizabeth. Or should I call you Lizzie, or Beth?”

  “It’s not-”

  “The uploads, the tweets, the pretty little pictures.”

  “Stop it!” shouted Elizabeth.

  “You started it.”

  Elizabeth’s voice was getting higher. “Andi needs to know. She needs to know why I took that file.”

  “Go on then, try it out on me. Let’s see if I buy it?

  Elizabeth started to speak. “I took that file to protect her. I didn’t want it getting into the wrong hands.”

  “It’s you who’s got the wrong hands, Elizabeth! You’re the psycho with the frizzy orange hair and the stupid posh voice that you used when you phoned me and demanded I tell Andi about my crappy little sexploits.” Zara clapped her hands. “You lose. I win. Andi doesn’t care. She’s married to me. Marriage works through shit like this!”

  Andi heard Zara’s confidence and felt a burst of strength. She crept the final few steps towards her office, relieved that the door was ajar and the carpet was soft. She stepped into the room and breathed properly for the first time since entering the house. She kept hold of the heavy boot cleaner and scurried towards the desk, horrified to see that the phone wasn’t on the cradle. She cursed Zara, who was always answering the phone and going for a wander, never returning it to the office to be charged. Andi thought quickly. She shook her head. It was probably lying on the floor in the lounge next to the side of Zara’s brown recliner. “Shit,” she gasped, unsure if she could carry the dead weight much longer. She crept back towards the office door and stepped back out into the hall.

  The voices were louder. “Sort your sad little life out, Elizabeth. You’ve had your fun now get out!”

  “No! I need to speak to Andi. I need her to know that it wasn’t me.”

  “No one will believe you. You’re like a crazy old cat lady with shockingly dreadful hair. They were all stupid in the first place to believe you’d be pro-gay rights!”

  “I am!” Elizabeth had started to flap. “I’ve explained this to you already. I’m here because I answered the phone to Pippa. She thought she was speaking to Janet and she reeled off how they suspected me for the upload and the tweets and the nasty packages. I can’t have Andi thinking that! Thinking all of that other abuse was me. Yes, I took the file, but I took it to protect her. I’ll admit it, I’m a busybody. I walk my dog a lot and I see things. I’ve seen you with different women.”

  Zara snapped. “I knew someone was following me!”

  “I see things and I’m perceptive. I knew something was going on with that lady from your work and when I saw her at the party with that file I knew there must be something incriminating in it. I watched the way she was speaking to you. I watched the way her sidekick with the red hair was looking at you. It was obvious. I saw everyone get distracted by Andi falling over and I grabbed it. I gave you a chance to come clean, Zara. Marriage is precious. Marriage should be cherished. I wanted you to do the right thing. But you wouldn’t. So I had no choice. I had to post it. But it seems like you and Andi are working through it, so that’s great. The outcome’s the right one.”

  “Yada, yada, yada, boring. No one will believe you. If you’re capable of sending a file of extra-marital affairs to your boss, knowing it would cause hurt, then you’re capable of the rest of it. ”

  Andi stepped onto a squeaky floorboard and froze.

  There was a momentary silence from the kitchen before Elizabeth responded. “I’m not responsible for anything else. I promise. I respect Andi. I admire her. I’m fighting with her. I’m on her side. I love my job at Proud Unity. I might be heterosexual but I can assure you that I’ve got a passion for equality.”

  Andi breathed again, but stayed still, too scared to move.

  “Bring out the bloody violins,” scoffed Zara.

  Elizabeth was firm. “I’m not responsible for the other stuff.”

  Zara sneered, “I know.”

  “How? How do you know?”

 
There was a long pause, before Zara laughed loudly. “Because it was me.”

  A gush of sudden terror raced through Andi’s body, and a feeling of sheer panic drained her of her strength. The metal weight started to shake.

  “I did it!” laughed Zara. “All of it. I want a wife, not a bloody deity! Everyone’s obsessed with her. It pisses me off! She should be at home with me. I thought I’d start lightly. Politely even. A few angry tweets here and there. Buying some offal when I picked up my meat from the butchers. A call to a TV show.” She sneered. “I thought that she’d get the message. But she’s so bloody wrapped up in ‘the cause,’ that nothing seemed to faze her.” Zara laughed. “A promise of a family and a threat to my life did though. Sweet really. Shame I’m going to slip The Pill into her system during the fertility treatment. It’s easy enough to do. I gave her some Seroquel at the party. I knew it would send her doolally. Make her show herself up. Another reason to make her contemplate leaving.”

  “I’ll tell them everything,” said Elizabeth aghast.

  “Ha! It’s just lucky for me that they found that file in your drawer, and it’s a complete coincidence that I chose names that can be linked to Elizabeth.” She sniggered. “Funny really, how things fit into place when you least expect it! And such a shame that Janet trusted you with her admin password. All the fingers are pointing your way, psycho!”

  “That was you too? This photo Pippa was talking about?”

  “Of course it was, sweetie. Andi leaves her passwords all over the house. Cut and paste a knife and a slash wound, and hey presto, my wife’s coming home!”

  “You won’t get away with this,” said Elizabeth with more force.

  “Oh stop it, sweetie! Just get yourself out of here. I can get Andi to believe anything I want.” Zara laughed. “She even thinks I’ve got some ridiculous form of chronic depression! A quick Google search and I’m sorted. I’ve got a cover story for my sex sessions and an excuse for my sniping. It’s funny really … how naive she is.”

  “I’ll tell them!”

  “They won’t believe you. I’m a very good actress, Elizabeth. I’ll discredit you. I’ll make you look unstable. Look at what you’re doing now, coming round here and threatening me in my own home. Won’t they be missing you at the office? Where do you think they’re going to look first?”

  Elizabeth was quieter. “I’m not threatening you.”

  Zara snarled. “No. But I’m threatening you. You quit your job and you piss off some place new. Don’t you ever try and approach my wife, and don’t you ever breathe my name to anyone.” Zara laughed. “Do you even know who I am or what I can do? I’m untouchable, Elizabeth. I get whatever I want, whenever I want. I want a pretty little housewife who does as she’s told, and that’s what I’ve got. Andi Armstrong’s mine. She’s all mine.” Zara laughed. “And she’ll stay with me forever!”

  The sudden thud in the hallway was enormous, but the cry was even louder. “OH NO SHE WON’T!” shouted Andi as she raced for the front door.

  Zara ran from the kitchen, just in time to see Andi disappearing out of the house. She thundered across the parquet flooring, clattering into the piece of discarded metal and crashing straight to the floor in a scream of agony.

  Andi raced down the garden path, straight into the arms of Pippa. “Take me away!” she screamed. “Just take me away from here.”

  “What’s wrong? What’s happened? Who’s inside?”

  Andi grabbed Pippa’s hand and pulled her out onto the street. “Just take me away.”

  “Number six!” shouted Pippa to the police liaison officer who was racing towards them, “through the white pillars!” Pippa watched him disappear up the short path and turned her attention to Andi. “What’s happened?”

  Andi started to walk, quickly pulling Pippa along with her. “I’ve been so blind.”

  Pippa pulled on her hand and forced Andi to stand still. “What’s going on? Talk to me!”

  Andi released Pippa’s hand and shook her head, turning and running towards the corner of the street.

  Pippa raced after her. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

  Andi rounded the bend, leaning on the signpost for St John’s Wood High Street. She pointed back around towards Wellington Place. “I’m never, ever setting foot in that street, ever again.”

  “Why? What about Zara? What about your house?”

  Andi took Pippa’s face in her hands. “How could I be so stupid?”

  Pippa shook her head. “What’s going on? Andi, don’t do this to me.”

  Andi closed her eyes and held back the tears. “I gave you my heart, Pippa. I can’t survive without it.” She shook her head. “I’m empty. There’s nothing here.”

  Pippa lifted her hand to Andi’s chest. “You’re not empty. You’ve got my heart.” She pressed harder. “Just feel. It’s me who’s beating inside you.”

  Andi opened her eyes, awash with tears. “Forgive me,” she whispered, “forgive me, I love you.”

  “I know,” said Pippa, wrapping her arms around Andi’s shaking body. “I know.”

  Chapter Thirty Four

  Three years later:

  “Mama Dee-Dee, please let me watch it again.”

  “No!” laughed Andi. “We’ve watched it three times already this morning.”

  The chubby toddler wobbled his way to the next sofa seat. “Mama Pip, let me watch it again?”

  Pippa folded her copy of the Financial Times and dropped it onto the new deep pile carpet in Gee-Gee’s finally modernised front lounge. She grinned at her son. “Go and give your sister a kiss and I’ll think about it.”

  The podgy legs started their short journey once again. “Mama Dee-Dee, lift up your jumper.”

  Andi lifted her jumper and smiled as her son gently kissed her rounded belly. “Come on then, my little cherub, let’s watch it again.”

  Pippa laughed. “I thought you had to upload that article to the Proud Unity website?”

  Andi smiled. “Some things are more important than others, you taught me that.” She nodded towards the folded paper on the carpet. “Are you sure you don’t want to re-read that article about the downfall of G-Sterling?”

  Pippa laughed. “I’ve read it ten times and I’ll never tire of seeing them lay the blame at Zara’s door.”

  Andi pretended not to hear. “Whose door?”

  “Exactly! I don’t know, some crazy woman who was declared bankrupt and then skipped the country part way through her sexual harassment and public nuisance court case.”

  Andi frowned. “Nope, never heard of her.”

  “Mama Dee-Dee, Mama Dee-Dee. Press play!”

  Andi smiled and reached for the remote. “How could I possibly say no to this?”

  Pippa reached out and squeezed Andi’s hand.

  The wedding music sung out from the television.

  “My Mamas got married!” giggled the toddler.

  “We certainly did,” laughed Pippa and Andi in blissful unison.

  THE END

  About the author:

  Lambda Literary Award finalist and Polari First Book Prize judge, Kiki Archer is the UK-based author of ten best-selling, award-winning novels. Kiki ranked highly on the Guardian newspaper’s Pride Power List and the Diva Pride Power List in 2017, 2018 and 2019.

  Her debut novel But She Is My Student won the UK’s 2012 SoSoGay Best Book Award. Its sequel Instigations took just 12 hours from its release to reach the top of the Amazon lesbian fiction chart.

  Binding Devotion was a Finalist in the 2013 Rainbow Awards.

  One Foot Onto The Ice broke into the American Amazon contemporary fiction top 100 as well as achieving the lesbian fiction number ones. The sequel When You Know went straight to number one on the Amazon UK, Amazon America, and Amazon Australia lesbian fiction charts, as well as number one on the iTunes, Smashwords, and Lulu Gay and Lesbian chart.

  Too Late... I Love You won the National Indie Excellence Award for Best LGBTQ book, the Gol
d Global eBook Award for Best LGBT Fiction. It was a Rainbow Awards Finalist and received an Honourable Mention.

  Lost In The Starlight was a Finalist in the 2017 Lambda Literary Awards’ Best Lesbian Romance category and was named a Distinguished Favourite in the Independent Press Awards.

  A Fairytale Of Possibilities won Best Romance Novel at the 2017 Diva Literary Awards and was awarded a Distinguished Favourite in the New York Big Book Awards.

  The Way You Smile was a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards for Best LGBTQ Book.

  Kiki was crowned the Ultimate Planet’s Independent Author of the Year in 2013 and she received an Honourable Mention in the 2014 Author of the Year category.

  She won Best Independent Author and Best Book for Too Late... I Love You in the 2015 Lesbian Oscars and was a Finalist in the 2017 Diva250 Awards for Best Author.

  In 2018 Kiki won Best Author at the Waldorf’s star-studded Diva Awards.

  Say You’ll Love Me Again is Kiki’s 10th and final novel.

  Novels by Kiki Archer:

  BUT SHE IS MY STUDENT - MARCH 2012

  INSTIGATIONS - AUGUST 2012

  BINDING DEVOTION - FEBRUARY 2013

  ONE FOOT ONTO THE ICE - SEPTEMBER 2013

  WHEN YOU KNOW - APRIL 2014

  TOO LATE… I LOVE YOU - JUNE 2015

  LOST IN THE STARLIGHT - SEPTEMBER 2016

  A FAIRYTALE OF POSSIBILITIES - JUNE 2017

  THE WAY YOU SMILE - November 2018

  SAY YOU’LL LOVE ME AGAIN - June 2019

  Connect with Kiki:

  www.kikiarcher.com