Soul Seeking

by R. Michael Card

  “Before that…” Her mouth hung open for a moment before she closed it, lips pressed. “I wanted… There was a reason that we… that I came to find you. I…”

  “Jais!”

  He turned to find Alnia running across the small clearing at him. At the forest edge behind her stood Danz, her brother, with a quizzical look on his face.

  Caerwyn swore softly beside him as he was engulfed in the other woman’s embrace. Alnia fell next to him, planting a rather sudden and passionate kiss on his lips.

  When she pulled back she said, “See I knew you were just fine. To hear Danz talk about it, you were on the brink of death!”

  Jais didn’t know what to say exactly. He hadn’t been on the brink of death, but he was fairly certain he hadn’t looked very well yesterday before he was healed. Judging by the stunned and confused look Danz was throwing his way he shouldn’t be up and walking, not yet anyway.

  It was Caerwyn who spoke first while Jais’ mind reeled, searching for words.

  “It looked a lot worse than it was, and with a little of his aunt’s care and some poultices, he was on his feet in quite little time.”

  Alnia spun around to Danz. “You scared me half to death! I told you it couldn’t be as bad as you thought.”

  “But…” Danz was still stupefied.

  Barami stepped up beside the lanky young man. “Take it from a warrior who’s seen many wounds, your friend looked bad, but most of that was dirt and scrapes, easily cleaned and healed. Nothing was that serious.” The old warrior lied easily, it seemed.

  “Oh.” Danz blinked himself back to reality. “Good to know.” Though he still didn’t seem completely convinced.

  Jais’ attention was torn from that as Alnia filled his vision again, pressing her lips to his once more in another urgent and potent kiss. This one lasted far longer than Jais was comfortable with, while others were around. Yet he didn’t want to break it off either.

  When finally Alnia did pull away it wasn’t far. Her long auburn hair created a curtain around them, since she was slightly above him leaning over. Their eyes met in the dimming light of day, and there was an intoxicating intensity to her look. They’d been deprived of the revels, but it was clear she meant to mend that wrong. She leaned in closer, cheek to cheek, hot breath on his ear sending pleasant sensations through him as she whispered, “I’m glad you’re well. Perhaps tonight we can have our own revels.” There was an urgency in her voice, a semi-choked desire which drilled a similar need into him.

  “I’d like that,” he whispered.

  She wore a broad smile as she pulled back.

  She rose and before anyone else could say anything, said, “It’s getting late, I don’t think we’ll have enough light to get back to Klasten’s Green. Do you mind if we share your fire?”

  It was a moment before anyone spoke. Each person’s expression made their thoughts clear. Danz did not want to stay, Barami did not want the two to stay, and Caerwyn was conflicted, though about what, Jais wasn’t sure. It was she who answered.

  “Of course you can stay with us.”

  And it was settled.

  Jais spent some time telling Alnia — and Danz, who listened while pretending he wasn’t interested — about the fight with the krolls, glossing over the more gruesome and damaging bits. Caerwyn disappeared for a while and returned with a small wild boar, on which they supped.

  After dinner, as the light in the sky above faded to darker shades of blue, and the first stars appeared, Alnia stood and, having had Jais’ hand in hers, gave it a tug for him to rise.

  “Excuse us,” she said. “I’d like to take a walk with Jais in the woods. We may be a while.” Danz half stood, but she waved him away. “We’ll be fine. Jais will protect me.”

  Jais’ heart was pounding hard. He knew what Alnia planned and was at once terrified and excited. He was certain the others would see his blush, or his chest thumping with the beat of his heart, but no one made any comments. His gaze caught Caerwyn’s as he rose, and there was something there. Was it regret? That seemed odd.

  Then he was being led off into the woods by Alnia, intently pulling him along behind her. They wandered for a bit, and Jais made note of markers so he’d be able to find his way back. After a short while he was leading — his night-vision much better than hers — and helping her over any difficult parts. They made certain they were far enough away from the camp that they could not see the fire, after that… it was merely a matter of finding a comfortable spot.

  There was a bower, a small area of soft mosses in a curving little dell between two larger trees.

  “Yes, here,” Alnia said softly, her voice had even more of that choked, breathy nature. It was quite dim, but their eyes had had time to acclimatize to the darkness. It still wasn’t full night yet, the bits of sky Jais could see through the dense foliage above were still a dark azure.

  Alnia unclasped her cloak and laid it on the ground. She wore a pleasant summer’s dress beneath. The color was hard to discern in the dim light. The cut was made to emphasize her bust, belted beneath her bosom with a long skirt which fell to her ankles. She reached behind her and pulled on the bow of the belt, and that strip of cloth fell away.

  The night wasn’t hot, like some summer nights could be. It was a middling warm, but Jais was growing quite heated as she turned around and said, “Help me with this?”

  The dress laced up the back, and his fingers were trembling as he reached for the strings. He fumbled with them for a moment, his hands feeling thick and clumsy, before he’d untied the laces.

  His heart was pounding.

  Oddly it was she who said, “My heart is racing!” Her voice was only a breath, a whisper.

  Her dress began to slip down, and he laid his hands gently on her shoulders, running them down her arms, feeling the soft skin, pushing the dress lower. It fell in a pool at her feet. His breath caught. She was naked, her back smooth and lean, her hips round, buttocks high, legs strong and well-shaped. For a moment, he didn’t want her to turn around. He didn’t think he could handle seeing her. His heart was already bashing against his ribs like some wild animal in a cage.

  His hands fell from her arms, and she did turn slowly. His breath caught again, or perhaps he’d never resumed breathing, he certainly felt light headed. He swallowed hard at the sight of her, the beauty of her face, the way her hair fell splashing around her shoulders. His gaze dipped to her full breasts then her slender waist and hips again. He felt his own arousal keenly.

  She took a step toward him hands placed on his chest. She was smiling tightly, lips pressed together.

  “Your heart… it’s beating as hard as mine.” After a moment one of her hands slipped down to clasp his and raise it to her chest, pressing it there against the soft and yielding skin. He too felt her manic heartbeat.

  She left his hand there, and he didn’t want to move it. She returned her hands to his chest and the laces of his shirt.

  After that things blurred a little. His clothes fell away, and they spent some time exploring each other’s bodies by touch, or standing close, pressed together, kissing passionately. Then he laid down, bringing her atop him. He didn’t want her back pressing into any rocks or roots. He didn’t notice any himself, but he was rather preoccupied with what Alnia was doing. That went on until it was quite dark, and they were both well spent.

  9

  Caerwyn hoped she hadn’t lost her opening with Jais.

  They were on their way back to Klasten’s Green. It was a beautiful, warm summer’s morning, and they had just left the forest behind, revealing the vast clear blue sky above. Ahead of her Jais and Alnia were holding hands and quietly tittering and laughing. Caerwyn had missed her chance to speak to Jais last night. She’d hesitated, and that had been all the gods had needed to intervene and tell her she’d taken too long to ask him for what she wanted.

  She couldn’t help but feel bitter and disappointed at this. Indecision had never been an issue for her before now, bu
t this one thing had her all befuddled.

  She was a… no… she had been a general! She should have enough courage to ask a man to mate with her. It didn’t even mean anything! Well it might not to her, but perhaps to him. He seemed to be quite close with that girl, Alnia. They weren’t married yet… though perhaps consummation was kin to marriage in these parts, and she was fairly certain there had been some consummating last night. So maybe he was married?

  By Suur! This was confusing and infuriating. To make matters worse, she was fairly certain Barami was smugly grinning because of all of this. She was quite certain he didn’t like the thought of her with anyone else.

  Her teeth were grinding, jaw clenched. The hand holding Davlas was trembling, white knuckled. She was furious with Jais and that bouncy, beautiful girl, and angry at Barami. Mostly she was livid with herself. In truth she had no one else to blame.

  Stupid, tongue-tied, coward of a woman!

  She didn’t even know why she was upset! There were other drahksani out there. There had to be. They couldn’t all be dead. Why was she so set on this one in particular? Yet it had taken her a year to reach this one, and she had no clue if she’d find another suitable match any time soon.

  Perhaps that was it. Jais was… suitable. He was a good match for her and as such would produce a child that was a good match for her as well. At this very moment he was her best chance of having a family and one that suited her lifestyle. She wasn’t sure what she’d do with a kid that wished to pursue books or tend to nature or any of the other possible drahksani abilities.

  It wasn’t as if she had any feelings for Jais. Well… perhaps she did. She respected his strength and warrior spirit, but there wasn’t anything more.

  Was there?

  For a moment an image flashed in her mind. She and Jais sitting in a small cottage with a couple children, living a simple life, happy and… bored stiff. Yet even as she thought that another image came to mind of her and Jais together. This one was far different though, with them fighting side by side against some faceless horde. The enemy being no match for their combined battle prowess. And there was a child there too, strapped to Jais’ back as he fought, squealing with joy as the enemy fell. That… seemed quite plausible and enjoyable.

  Then, within that same daydream, an enemy sword slipped through Jais’ defense and lopped off his head.

  She snapped out of her reverie with a clipped, “No!”

  Everyone looked at her. It took her a moment to realize she’d said that out loud. She waved them off with an abashed: “Sorry.” But she could feel herself blushing.

  Gods! She never blushed! What was wrong with her?

  She knew she didn’t want Jais with her. That would just be someone else she might lose. All she needed was the child. She could look after a single child. She would keep it close and make sure nothing happened to it.

  She wasn’t going to lose anyone else she loved.

  So no, she didn’t need Jais to like her. And she was certain she had no affections for him beyond respect as a warrior. All she needed was the child.

  She could ask him for it still, even if he was with Alnia. She could ask them both and see if the other woman understood.

  She was decided.

  She wouldn’t waste any more time. She would talk to him… them.

  Now.

  She hurried to catch up to the others. They were just cresting a hill, and as Caerwyn rejoined them, she could see the village below them. It wasn’t large, clustered along the slow meandering Eresvan River, with a few rough roads, little more than wagon tracks, leading away from it, mostly to nearby farms.

  She was about to call out to Jais when Danz pointed at something. “What’s that?”

  Gods, why was there always something just when she wanted to speak!

  Alnia responded with a glib, “That’s our mill, silly.” Indeed the direction the man was pointing was toward the mill, the large water-turned wheel making the building easily identifiable.

  “No, out beyond it. Those shapes, they’re moving.”

  Caerwyn’s sight was exceptional, as was the case for most drahksani. She and Jais saw what the boy was pointing toward at the same time. She knew this because they swore in unison.

  “Krolls!” Jais breathed in disbelief.

  It was indeed hard to believe, mostly because there were three of them. She could see their large misshapen forms heading straight in toward the village. Straight for the mill actually.

  “They’re… headed for the mill?” It sounded like Danz was questioning his own words, as if he didn’t want them to be true.

  Alnia spun on Jais. “Do something!”

  The problem was that even with their greater than human speed, if Caerwyn and Jais ran as hard as they could to the mill, they still wouldn’t get there in time.

  Jais sprinted off anyway.

  “Jais!” Caerwyn called. She wanted to say more but instead just swore and bolted after him. If the others followed she didn’t know and didn’t care. Jais was strong, fast, and tough, but she highly doubted he could take three krolls on his own. He just didn’t have the combat experience. By the Shadows of Holn, he didn’t even have a weapon! And against three krolls? She didn’t even think she could take three krolls herself.

  She caught up to Jais. Her longer legs gave her the advantage in running despite his raw power. But at these speeds, running all out, talking was a near impossibility. She grabbed him by the shoulder, squeezing, hoping he’d stop.

  He slowed.

  It was enough for her to find the breath to speak as they jogged along, side by side.

  “Jais, don’t do this. You can’t take three krolls. You’ll never reach the mill in time anyway, it’s already lost. And you’re only killing yourself arriving to a fight already winded. Stop and let’s make a plan!”

  “I can’t stop. I have to do something. And I’m not stupid. I know fighting would be silly, but Alnia’s family is in there. I was hoping to help them get away. Then we can plan!”

  That made sense, even if she was fairly certain that mill was going to be in pieces long before the two of them got there.

  She didn’t try to convince Jais of this, instead she picked up her speed as he raced forward once more. At this point her goal was simply to save Jais from himself.

  She quickly found out that although she was faster, Jais’ stamina exceeded hers. Her lungs were burning, breath hard to find, her legs ached and began to slow. He kept on running. They had crossed more than half the distance to the mill. She had to stop and take a moment to catch her breath.

  She glanced behind her. The other three were all making their way as fast as they could, but they were still a ways behind. She and Jais were at the outskirts of the village, having found a path that ran along between two farmers’ fields.

  She rested for as long as she dared, then began another sprint. It was harder this time, but she forced her legs to churn. She could see Jais ahead, pulling farther and farther away. She had to get to him, had to help him. She found strength in that thought and pushed herself onward.

  Her prediction had been wrong. She pulled within sight of the mill as Jais reached it. It wasn’t in pieces. The krolls had only just arrived. She could see small forms fleeing.

  Jais threw himself between the krolls and those forms. The lead kroll, wielding a small tree as a club, slammed it down on Jais.

  Her heart lurched.

  She ran faster.

  10

  Jais threw himself out of the way of the mass of branches descending on him, but was too slow. Smaller limbs tore through his shirt into his back. He landed hard, rolling to his feet quickly, but the kroll wasn’t wasting any time either. It slammed the tree down toward him again. This time he ran in toward the thing, dodging the branches. The kroll missed. Jais lunged, throwing himself bodily at one of the large beast’s skinny legs. Those looked like its weakest parts.

  He’d gotten a look at the three krolls as he’d sprinted nearer.
This one was taller than the other two, all rangy limbs and mostly narrow body, though the torso flared out through the chest and shoulders, making its body look almost like an even-sided triangle with limbs.

  His tackle worked, and he knocked the legs out from under the thing. It collapsed in a heap as he too hit the ground. Again he rolled away, this time quicker. The kroll had dropped its tree, and thankfully, the other two were more intent on crushing the mill instead of the people within. So it seemed that Alnia’s family: mother, father, and two younger siblings, would have a little time to flee. He’d done what he came to do.

  The kroll roared, and the other two turned their attention toward it… and Jais.

  Now he needed to get out of here.

  He was breathing hard, his lungs raw, legs aching, burning.

  A feral scream came from his left, and before he could look to see what it was, a spear took the lead kroll clean through the head. It was Davlas, and Caerwyn must have thrown it with immense force to pierce the thing’s hard skull twice, front and back.

  Against all Jais thought possible, the lead kroll still rose to its feet, reaching for the tree that was its weapon.

  His stomach sank.

  Jais didn’t have any weapon on him. All the ones he’d been practicing with were either Caerwyn’s or Barami’s, and they had them back now. He was defenseless… except for.

  “Davlas!”

  The spear appeared in his hand. Still he needed to get away from these three monstrosities. So he ran.

  They ran faster.

  He needed shelter.

  Luckily he was running directly for The Grand Bazaar, the merchant’s shop. Just before he reached the door he spun and threw the spear with all his might. It took the lead kroll in the shoulder but the creature hardly seemed to notice.

  Jais bowled through the door to the merchant’s shop, yelling for Ambrast, the merchant, to get his family and get out. The shop was empty, and Jais didn’t know if the owner and his family were still here, but he yelled it again anyway. He leapt onto the back counter with its shelves displaying wares worth fortunes then jumped again, this time grabbing an ornate long sword off the back wall. He’d seen that sword many times while ogling the merchant’s goods, and it had been all he’d thought to go after now.