Rocket (Hell's Handlers MC Book 5)

by Lilly Atlas

  “Even though I’ve always used protection that I’ve purchased myself, what I’m doing is not exactly a smart or healthy decision.” Her fingers played with the patches on his cut. Over and over she traced the Sergeant at Arms patch below his name. She shrugged. “I know how risky it is. I just can’t seem to stop myself.”

  He nodded. “You stopped over the past few weeks.”

  She stared at him. “Not really. Yes, I was only with you, but I was still handcuffing you to the bed. I’ve barely let you touch me at all. You have to admit it’s still been more about me taking control than us having some kind of mutually pleasurable sex.”

  “You come though. Every time, multiple times.” If he sounded smug, he couldn’t help it.

  Her face turned an adorable shade of red. “There is that.”

  “And you like it. Want more of it. More orgasms, not just psychological relief. Can you tell me the past few weekends have only been about the power and control?” Hell, he didn’t give a shit if she wanted to tie him up and ride him every single time they were together. They both came. Him hard as hell, and for her, it was happening easier and with more abandon. Their sex may not have been about mutual pleasure in the beginning, but she was lying to them both if she didn’t think what burned between them wasn’t straight up desire for each other.

  Slowly her head moved side to side as her forehead crinkled in thought. “No. I can’t say that.”

  “What else has it been about for you?”

  She swallowed. “Pleasure. When I’m with you, it’s about pleasure for the first time since I was kidnapped.”

  There’s my strong girl. His girl? Shit. There was no his anything. As evident by the manipulative asshole in town gunning for him, Rocket’s life wasn’t conducive to him having any kind of claim on a woman for longer than a few nights. But that was an issue to conquer after he helped slay Chloe’s dragons. “So, you’re having orgasms. I’m having orgasms. You can stand being in my company, right?”

  A ghost of a smile tilted her lips. “Yeah, you’re all right.”

  He grunted a laugh. “And you left all right in the dust miles ago. You’re pretty fucking amazing. Sounds like a healthy sex life to me. You like to tie me up? Big fucking deal; everybody’s got their kink.”

  Chloe snorted and rolled her eyes. “Somehow I don’t think being tied up every time you have sex is your kink. Hell,” she said, throwing her arms up. “It’s not even my kink. I certainly never liked it before. I just can’t do it any other way right now.”

  “Well, clearly it’s still getting me off, so no worries there, babe. I’m good to keep going as we are.”

  She tilted her head. “Seriously? You’re okay letting me continue to tie you up?”

  “Yes, babe, I am. But know this, my body is yours to experiment with in whatever way you want. You feel ready to change things up, let me know. If it works, fuck yeah. If not, at least we know we both get what we need the way we’re doing it.” He meant it. He’d take her any way he could get her. Handcuffs, ropes, fucking chains if that’s what she needed.

  “So you want this to continue? With us?”

  Like he wanted to keep living.

  “Don’t see a reason to end it, do you?” It sure wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was something he had a feeling she’d appreciate more. Security. Safety. Someone she trusted to help her past her issues. When she was ready and able to return to the woman she’d been before the attack, he’d just have to hope he was ready to let her go.

  “No,” she said. “I don’t.” Reaching out, she smoothed a hand down his chest. He had to clench his teeth as a line of fire traveled straight to his dick. That’s all it took. One innocent over the clothes touch and he was hard and aching for her. “Can I tell you something?”

  “Of course, babe. Anything.”

  “That feeling I get.” Her face turned pink as she traced the patch with his road name. “When I have some guy at my mercy, that feeling? It’s kind of like a drug in my system. Like a high. I felt the same way when I was fighting with Jig.”

  “Knowing you can defend yourself, that someone can’t hurt you is pretty fucking empowering.” He frowned as something akin to jealousy surged through his veins. Jig may be a better fighter than Rocket, but he’d be taking over her training. She didn’t need to be getting any kind of high from another man. Not while Rocket was the one in her bed.

  “Yeah. Maybe it’s a better way to work out my issues.” She chewed on her bottom lip then said, “You know, before I ran into the girls at the grocery store, I was thinking of maybe trying some stuff without you handcuffed.”

  “Some stuff, huh?” He raised an eyebrow. Shit, he wasn’t sure he’d survive whatever stuff she had planned for him. He was starting to think keeping him handcuffed was a smart move. Kept him from becoming a complete rutting animal in her presence. But damn if he could deny her anything in his power to give when she looked at him with that mix of courage and vulnerability. “Just let me know what you need and I’m game.”

  She lifted her arms, reaching for him, then winced. “I think what I need right now is a bottle of Motrin and a hot bath.”

  He stood, not bothering to try and hide the bulge in his jeans. If they were going to continue spending time together, she’d have to get used to him in this state. Her eyes widened then she licked her lips causing him to groan as he imagined that pink tongue on the head of his dick. “I think that can be arranged.” With six large steps he was in the bathroom and turning on the tap. “I’m the only one who ever uses this shower and I had one of the Honeys scrub it before you got here,” he called out above the sound of rushing water.

  “Honeys?”

  Oh right, she wouldn’t know who they were. Chloe appeared at the door of the bathroom wearing only her sports bra and black bikini panties. Her stomach had a slight roundness to it that flared into hips he’d fantasized about countless times. He’d give anything to sink his fingers into the soft flesh as he fucked her long and hard.

  They’d get there.

  “Club girls.”

  Her frown was adorable. “That’s not making it any clearer.”

  Ugh, he was going to have to spell it out for her. “They help out around the club, shit like cleaning, cooking, servicing the guys, in exchange for a place to crash, protection, and basically a family.”

  “Service the guys?” Chloe’s chuckle was unexpected. He’d kind of expected her to be disgusted. “Sooo basically, they clean and fuck you for a place to stay.”

  He grimaced. People outside the club culture always made it sound so much worse than it was.

  They stood there for a few moments, watching each other, the air thick with steam and something he refused to look too closely at. Chloe wouldn’t want a biker long term. Hell, she’d had a near violent reaction to finding out he was in the MC. She was stuck with him now, and willing to sleep with him because she, at the very least, trusted him not to hurt her, but that’s as far as it could go. His life was too fucking messy and hers was just beginning again.

  The disappointment was a new feeling. His entanglements with women were limited to short term flings. In the Marines, his frequent deployment schedule made meeting someone difficult. Afterward, working as a hired gun for a private defense contractor kept him living a very solo life. He hadn’t been willing to bring a woman into the world he’d existed in. A world full of lies, danger, and the very real possibility he wouldn’t come back from one of his many missions.

  By the time he joined the MC, he’d grown accustomed to living and being alone. Becoming close with his brothers had been a struggle. Hell, he still wasn’t known for hanging out much and definitely not for being any kind of conversationalist.

  He’d had a number of women throughout the years, what single man didn’t? But it never lasted more than a few encounters. Once they started asking questions about his life he tended to flee. Unlike many of his brothers, he wasn’t much for one-night stands, and wasn’t into any of t
he Honeys. Sure, he’d accepted a blow job or two over the years, but the club girls never held his interest much beyond that.

  Now Chloe was in his life and he had no idea what he wanted from her. The only certainty was the gut-punch he felt at the thought of her walking away right now. For Christ’s sake, he was willing to be tied up and fucked just to keep her close.

  “Think that’s enough water,” she said, humor in her voice.

  “Shit.” He’d been totally lost in his head. Not something that ever happened. Years as a paid assassin had honed his ability to be aware of his surroundings at all times. And now he’d nearly overflowed the bathtub, fucking daydreaming. He released the drain and once the water was at an appropriate level, stopped it back up again. “All set. I’ll leave you to it,” he said as he started past her.

  “Wait.” She reached out and curled her slender fingers around his arm. “Maybe…um…would you mind staying in here?”

  His cock jerked at the thought of her soaking naked within touching distance. He balled his fists. He’d have to sit on the damn things to keep from reaching for her gorgeous body. This was going to take willpower of epic proportions. But he couldn’t fucking say no to her. “Hmm, watch a gorgeous woman take a bath or go play pool with a bunch of smelly bikers?” He winked. “No contest.”

  Her smile grew. “You’re different here. More relaxed. Chattier.”

  His brothers would lose their fucking heads over that one. It wasn’t the club that made him different, it was her. He talked more around her than he had anyone in ages. “You gonna hop in?”

  “Yeah.” She bit her bottom lip as she worked the sports bra over her head. Rocket almost swallowed his tongue. Had she been any other woman, he’d wonder if the little strip tease was some kind of manipulation, but with Chloe he had no doubt it wasn’t. She was nervous as a drenched cat.

  And so damn brave. Baring her body before a man who could overpower her in the blink of an eye.

  Her hands trembled slightly as she dropped them to her panties. To help set her mind at ease, Rocket sat on the edge of the tub and rested his hands on his thighs in plain sight. Two seconds later she was naked. She straightened; uncertainty clear on her face.

  “Jesus,” he said, feeling like he’d swallowed a mug of sand. “Your body is out of control, woman.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.” She walked toward him then braced a hand on his shoulder as she stepped into the tub. The smell of her, something subtle and fruity combined with clean sweat from her workout hit his nostrils. All her smooth, pale skin was so close. Wouldn’t take more than a lift of a hand to feel her flesh sliding beneath his palm. But Chloe needed to know she could trust him completely, so he swallowed his desire and kept his paws to himself.

  Inch by inch, she sank into the tub until she was covered to her neck. Being a guy who hadn’t taken a bath since he was probably six, he didn’t have any bubbly shit for her to use, so there was nothing to hide her tits from his view.

  Thank fuck.

  She rested her head back with a satisfied groan.

  Rocket’s cock twitched. The damn thing ached from the pressure of his tight denim.

  Following her groan, a soft sigh left her lips. Eyes closed, she wore a small smile of complete contentment. She extended her arms, allowing them to float on the surface of the water.

  “This feels so good.” Another freaking groan.

  Rocket wasn’t going to survive this. Well, he may not die, but he’d make a mess of his pants like a fourteen-year-old boy who’d just discovered his older brother’s porn stash.

  “You know what would make it even better,” she asked in a drowsy voice, eyes still closed.

  “What?” Christ, he sounded like there was a hand wrapped around his throat.

  Her eyes opened and connected directly with his. “You could touch me.”

  Just like that everything took a back seat to her request. Copper, Esposito, Lefty.

  All that mattered was getting his hands on this woman and making her cry out in pleasure.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  SOMEHOW, HER REQUEST came out sounding strong. Confident.

  Sensual even.

  Completely in contrast with the nerves running rampant just below her skin. Her mind and body were driving her absolutely crazy. The internal war between desire and fear, need and dread, aching and trembling, couldn’t go on. She’d lose what remained of her sanity. Something had to give, and leaping off this cliff seemed the way to push forward.

  “You want me to touch you?” His voice had grown so gruff it was nearly a growl.

  Chloe nodded, unable to do more than stare at the handsome man perched on the edge of the tub with his expression so fierce. Were it anyone else, she’d have thought he looked angry with his narrowed eyes, flattened mouth, and assessing glare. But she’d learned that was just Logan. Severe, yet not a threat to her.

  He shifted, sliding from the tub to his knees on the small navy-blue bath rug. “How do you want me to touch you?” he asked as he shrugged out of his cut then tossed it on the vanity.

  “Y-you decide.” Where this brave woman emerged from, Chloe would never know. Inside, her fear screamed at her to leap from the tub and tear out of the clubhouse, nudity be damned. But part of her had an acute memory of what it felt like when Logan made her come, and the distant memory of being with a man before she’d been assaulted, back when she wasn’t afraid and had far fewer inhibitions. She was learning that woman still remained, not as buried below the surface as she’d feared, and that woman craved a man, this man, pressing her into the mattress and dominating her. But those memories were now twisted around the disgusting recollections of being violated and injured. Getting back to the woman who was willing to surrender would be impossible if she couldn’t even let Logan touch her. This was the first step and she had to take it. No matter how apprehensive the notion made her.

  “Hmm,” he said, drawing the sound out so it became a caress. Chloe shivered. With a knowing smile, Logan slid his hand into the warm water. The apocalypse couldn’t have torn her attention away from the sight of that strong, callused hand disappearing into the water and advancing toward her. He cupped her inner thigh, lifting her leg out of the water. Then he draped her knee over the side of the tub. “You want me to make you come?”

  God, hell yes! “I d-do.”

  Logan ran his fingertips up and down the inside of her thigh, changing direction when he was just inches from her sex. All the while, his piercing blue eyes were trained directly between her legs, a look of hunger transforming his face.

  Chloe swallowed. With his fiery gaze and ticking jaw, he looked more like he was about to launch an attack on a terrorist cell than finger her. Once again, he coasted his palm up her thigh, but this time, he brushed the tips of his fingers through her folds. She jumped at the contact, her hand going to his forearm.

  Logan froze. “Stop?”

  “No. I’m good.”

  His features softened as he gave her a smile. “Relax, the only thing that is going to happen here is you digging those nails into my arm as you cry out in pleasure. Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she said on an exhale. Damn, that sounded good.

  “Rest your head back. Close your eyes.”

  Did she dare? It required a level of trust she’d have denied she could ever achieve last week, but now, it seemed within reach.

  “The door to my room is locked. It’s just you and me. Swear on my life I will not hurt you, baby.”

  So much sincerity in that one statement. How could she not believe him? But it wasn’t a matter of believing him. It was being able to conquer a powerful internal wound making her afraid despite her belief in Logan. “I know you won’t.”

  Over the past month, he’d had the opportunity to bring her harm countless times. Instead, he’d selflessly let her use him for her own healing and unconventional therapy. Maybe it was time to give him something back. Give him the gift of trust. With a shuddered sigh that was as much
desire as fear, she let her head tilt back against the tub, and closed her eyes.

  “That’s my girl,” Logan murmured as his hand kicked up its journey once again. This time, he ran his fingers through her sex on each pass. Instead of jolting in surprise, Chloe was squirming with unsatisfied need by the third swipe of those digits.

  “Logan,” she said though it sounded more like a moan.

  “So wet,” he said back.

  Chloe couldn’t stop the small giggle. “I’m in the tub.”

  “No,” he said, and she imagined him shaking his head with a stern expression. “It’s different.” As if trying to demonstrate his point, he worked one thick finger inside of her.

  Her back arched off the slope of the tub, upsetting the water. She gasped. God, that felt good. Her nipples immediately hardened to tight points. Water sloshed over them, intensifying their sensitivity.

  “That’s it, baby. Feel good?”

  “Shit, Logan. Yes, it feels good. Really good. Amazing.”

  “You have any idea how beautiful you look right now?” his gravelly voice asked.

  Chloe smiled. There was something to this eyes-closed thing. She had no idea what was coming or when, but it was bound to rock her world.

  “Your tits are gorgeous. Your pussy is sucking at my finger just like it does my dick. Can’t wait for it to be on my dick again. And those nipples poking out of the water are just begging for some action, aren’t they?”

  “Yes,” she said, and God help her, she sounded like she was begging. “Touch them.”

  “Think I can manage that.” There was laughter in his voice but also an edge of desperation. He had to be hard as a lead pipe. Chloe should probably offer to do something about that, but her body was sliding into a state of languid ecstasy where she could do nothing but absorb the sensations he piled on.

  All at once, he pinched her left nipple and slid a second finger inside her. Chloe cried out. Her eyes flew open and locked on his. As predicted, her fingers curled into his forearm, nails gouging his skin with a strong pressure. Just as she was about to apologize, she caught his nostrils flare and his eyes darken to a deeper shade of blue.