The Cuckoo's Eye

by Holly Campbell

  “I told you, she’s not well!”

  “If she’s that ill, then I need to check on her.”

  Blair vaulted off the bed, hurriedly gathering the dog food and toys she had purchased before catapulting them into the wardrobe. I clambered down and wriggled underneath, pressing myself into the floorboards in order to fit beneath the bed frame. I heard the springs of the mattress creak as Blair returned to her spot on the bed. From my hiding place I could see the door, watched it swing open and saw the feet of three people.

  “Blair, it’s time for dinner… are you planning on joining us sometime this year?”

  “I didn’t realise it was so late… I don’t feel great… do you mind if I skip dinner?”

  A pair of feet crossed the floor over to the bed and there was a moment of silence.

  “You look fine. You don’t have a temperature. I want you downstairs in five minutes. And… wash your face.”

  The woman retreated from the room but the other two remained, standing silently until the door had been closed and the sound of footsteps had faded.

  “You got into another fight.”

  “I wouldn’t call it a fight. I got knocked over.”

  “Liar. Your knees are shredded, your face is covered in dirt and the cut on your head has split open. And you’ve been crying.”

  I poked my head out from under the bed to see one of her brothers pacing the room, looking like he wanted to hurt someone. The other was stood nearby, examining her and assessing her injuries from a distance.

  “Can I kill them yet?” the angry one asked.

  “They’re seventeen. You’re an adult. If you hurt them, you’ll get arrested,” Blair said. “Besides, I am fine. We should go to dinner before Helen comes back.”

  She took a few steps towards the door, then paused and looked back at her brothers.

  “I mean it. Do. Not. Do. Anything.”

  They nodded obediently and trooped out of the bedroom. Blair looked back at me, half hidden under the bed.

  “That goes for you too. Stay, behave yourself. I’ll try and find you some food you actually like while I’m out.”

  With a wag of my tail, she was gone. Leaving me alone once more.

  BLAIR

  I could tell Uncle Michael was angry before I sat down. He was poking his meat angrily as if it had personally offended him. Matthew seated beside him with his head down, visibly uncomfortable. I glanced at Grayson and Elian, searching for a clue as to what was going on but they just shrugged.

  “Nice of you to join us Blair,” he snapped.

  “Sorry… I wasn’t feeling too good.”

  I took my seat and helped myself to some dinner, deciding to stay as silent as I could. There was no sign of Nan which I found somewhat concerning and I couldn’t help but wonder if her absence had something to do with the twins early morning errands. I considered asking but decided against it. I didn’t want to provoke anything unknowingly.

  “One of the boys in my class was asking about you Blair,” said Matthew.

  “Which one?” I asked warily.

  “Patrick. I think he likes you.”

  “Isn’t he on the rugby team? The blond one?” Aunt Helen asked.

  “Yeah,” said Grayson. “One of the ones who likes to push Blair around.”

  “Well then, he definitely likes her.” I stared at her, trying to work out how she had managed to draw that conclusion from what had been said. “You know how boys are, they’re always mean to girls they like. They don’t know how to behave.”

  “That is… so dysfunctional.” The words had left my mouth before I’d had a chance to remember my vow of silence. “And complete nonsense. You shouldn’t encourage girls to date guys that are mean to them!”

  “And we wondered how you ended up with such a charming husband…” mumbled Grayson. “But seriously, it is super messed up to put that stuff in someone’s head…”

  “Enough,” cut in Uncle Michael. “This is exactly what I meant Helen.”

  He sighed and got to his feet, going to where his coat was hanging before pulling an item from the pocket. He came over and set it down in front of me. I looked down to see a mangled snare trap, the wire snipped clean through.

  “Blair do you know what this is?”

  “It appears to be one of those snares you like to leave lying around the countryside.”

  Matthew silently left the room but my brothers remained, sensing that an argument was about to ensue and perhaps feeling the need to defend me.

  “You are incredibly disrespectful. We took the three of you in. Your brothers at least make an effort to fit in and get along. But you… you seem to delight in causing trouble! And I am sick of it!” He slammed his hand on the table in front of me. “I have had it. I’ve reached my limit.”

  “Because of a snare?”

  “Because of your attitude. The sneaking out at all hours. Sabotaging my work. I thought it was bad enough when you got kicked out of your private school but since then you’ve just got even worse!” he roared right beside my ear and I couldn’t help but flinch.

  “Michael you can’t talk to her like that!” Elian interrupted. I noticed he’d placed a hand on his brother’s arm, silently restraining Grayson from reacting more aggressively.

  “I will talk to her however I like!”

  Even Aunt Helen looked nervous now. She got up and ushered the twins to the door. They began to protest but I gave them a silent look, warning them to go. If Grayson got into a fight with Uncle Michael it would just make things worse.

  “I’ve had enough Blair. The boys can stay… they’re old enough to make their own mistakes but you… I’m calling your mother first thing tomorrow. She can send you wherever you want but you can’t stay here anymore.”

  “Uncle Michael please…”

  “No! You are nothing but trouble! You have been since the day you arrived! And every time you act like it’s not important, that you can just get away with it! No more!”

  He slammed his fist against the table again, the force knocking over one of the glasses and spilling liquid across the table cloth.

  “What’s all the noise about?” We looked up to see Nan had entered without us realising. She was wrapped in a shawl and looked paler than usual. “Oh Michael, you’ve made a mess on one of favourite table cloths. Clean it up.”

  “Ma, you shouldn’t be up.”

  “It’s my house, I’ll do as I please. Now, Blair, can I borrow you?”

  I nodded hurriedly, getting to my feet. Uncle Michael made to stop me.

  “I’m not finished talking to her…!”

  “Yes you are. Come on Blair. Let’s leave Michael in peace.”

  She gestured to the door and I scurried to her side. As we closed the door, I heard the smashing of glass on the other side and I winced. Nan gave me a wry smile and guided me to the stairs. Her hand trembled slightly as she gripped the bannister. I wanted to thank her for getting me out but I still felt a little shaken by what had passed and my head was swirling. If they kicked me out, where would my mum send me? Probably off to another boarding school… and then I wouldn’t get out for three years. Maybe Uncle Noah would take me in… he liked me. It wasn’t so much the thought of leaving the town that bothered me, I could take or leave the place. It was the thought of not seeing my brothers…

  “Of course I have no intention of having you sent off to some school in the middle of nowhere,” Nan said, as if reading my thoughts. “Michael has always been hot headed. Just like his father. He just needs some time to cool off.”

  She led me into her bedroom and patted the bed. I sat down, watching as she went to her wardrobe and retrieved a box from the floor. The room was warm and the air smelled like Nan’s perfume. A cluster of framed photos sat on the bedside table, most of my siblings and Matthew at various ages. There was only one of my mum and uncles together, as well as one of her seated alone on a horse. It always struck me how much happier she looked in old photographs…r />
  “I was going to save this for your birthday but I…” she hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I think now might be better.”

  Nan seated herself next to me and pressed a thin box into my hands. I opened it slowly, frowning slightly as I did.

  Inside the box was a necklace of looping metal tendrils, wrapping around one another in a snakelike manner before gathering to hold a polished black stone.

  “It would mean a lot if you wore this Blair.”

  “Of course I will Nan.”

  I moved my hair to the side, carefully fastening the metal cord around my neck. It was cool against my skin and when it made contact, I felt a sensation like an electric shock jolt through my body. It settled into the hollow of my throat, a gentle pleasant weight. My hand lightly caressed the smooth stone, the action calming me somewhat.

  Nan settled back in her bed, pulling her covers up and resting her head back against the headboard, closing her eyes.

  “Nan…?”

  “Yes my little elf?”

  “You know about fairies… erm… are there any that look like dogs?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well you told me about Selkies that time and how they took the form of seals. Do any do that but with dogs?”

  She opened her eyes, frowning slightly.

  “Not that I can think of. There are a few creatures of the otherworld that take animal form although I wouldn’t classify them as fairies. The Cù-Sìth… sometimes the Púca…” She straightened up. “I wouldn’t try to look for them though. They tend to be… dangerous.”

  “I’m not looking for them Nan. Just… curious.”

  Nan closed her eyes once more, expression relieved. For a moment she looked incredibly frail.

  “Curiosity killed the cat my elf… be careful…” The words were an indistinct mumble as she drifted off. I smiled to myself, leaned over and kissed her cheek softly before letting myself out of the room.

  I went downstairs, moving quietly to avoid drawing Uncle Michael’s attention or ire. The kitchen was quiet and dark, the dishes put away but the stained tablecloth still remained. The sight of it made my stomach twist. I grabbed a hunk of meat from the fridge and some rolls for myself, since I’d eaten so little of my dinner, and quickly headed back to my house.

  Elian was sat in the living room when I let myself in.

  “Blair I…”

  “Don’t El. It wasn’t your fault, nothing you could have done. I know you want to protect me all the time but sometimes you can’t. And I brought it on myself… I just wish everything wasn’t always my fault…”

  He got up and crossed the room in three strides, wrapping his arms tight around me. I closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest as he rocked me gently.

  “I won’t let him send you away. The house isn’t his, he can’t kick you out. We made a promise to always stay together and I intend to keep it.”

  Elian curled his finger in a loop of my hair, tethering us together in a way we used to do when we were children. I reached up and wrapped my own hand in his mess of black curls. We stayed like that in silence for a moment, sealing our promise once more.

  “Us against the world?” I asked quietly.

  “Always. Just… no more night time escapades for a bit okay? Until things are smoothed over?” Elian asked, his voice soft and pleading. I considered for a moment and nodded. I could do that for him.

  We released one another and I went upstairs with my stolen food. The dog was curled up on my bed, absently chewing at one of the toys I’d bought with an expression of utter disinterest. His head shot up when I entered and his tail immediately began to wag.

  At least someone was happy to have me around.

  “Hey boy, you didn’t think I forgot you did you?”

  I grabbed a dish from the pet shop bag and put the meat inside. I wondered for a moment if I should cut it up but before I got the chance, the dog had descended from the bed and begun to devour the meat.

  “Looks like I’ve finally found something you like. Fusspot,” I said, sprawling on my bed.

  I wasn’t sure if he sensed something in my tone but he stopped eating and looked over to me, cocking his head to the side and letting out a low whine. I got the impression he was questioning my mood. Maybe that was just projection.

  “Don’t worry. It’s just… family drama. People don’t seem to like having me around. I don’t mean to cause trouble, it just seems to happen. All the time…”

  I closed my eyes. So much had happened in just a few years. Even Elian and Grayson didn’t know the whole story and even if I told them, they couldn’t really understand. They were already at the age when kids start to look at moving out and beginning their own lives when mum left, so it wasn’t as hard for them. I was fairly sure they only stuck around still for my sake. I appreciated the sacrifices they made for me but it really just made me feel worse. Especially now when it looked like it was for nothing.

  “I’m… I’m tired of being in the way…”

  The dog clambered up beside me and licked my cheek. His breath smelled of meat and blood but I didn’t care. It was nice having someone close who I didn’t have to worry about pretending with. Maybe that was why people liked pets so much. There was no lies, no expectations. Just warmth and affection.

  *****

  It was a difficult feat falling asleep that night. My body ached all over and even the softest touch of fabric burned my grated knees.

  When I finally did doze off, I found myself lost in a haze of half formed dreams that seemed to loop endlessly.

  Finally the mist solidified into something concrete. I was almost relieved. The world took on a bleak damp quality, dripping spruce and yew trees surrounding me. A full moon loomed down on me, the silvery light painting the world in shades of grey. Snow stained the ground, a trail of footsteps behind me leading off into the distance. I was barefoot, wearing a renaissance style dress, white with a brown lace up overdress on top. It swelled over my stomach. I touched my belly lightly, feeling the curve of late stage pregnancy. A dagger hung at my waist, the handle bound with thin strips of leather.

  As I stood amongst the trees, a low baying filled the air. The sound sent a shiver through me and urged me to move forward. I walked slowly through the trees, the snowy path illuminated by the moonlight. Up ahead something shimmered, a giant silver coin abandoned amongst the hills. The trees grew sparse, widening out until I came to the edge of a great lake. A figure was stood at the water side and as I neared, they turned.

  It was a young man, his face hidden in the shadow. All I could make out was a pair of golden eyes, luminous in the dark. He sighed softly as he saw me and looked away once more.

  “Cliona. I did not think I would see you again.”

  “I leave at dawn. I wished to spend one last night in my homeland.” The words came from me but the voice was not my own.

  “Perhaps you hoped I would talk you out of it.”

  “You have made your thoughts clear. I know what is best for my child. But I would be lying if I said that I did not wish you would come with me.”

  “And you know why I cannot. Two is easier to track then one. You do not need me to defend you, it will be safer if I remain behind.”

  “You take your role so seriously.”

  “As I should, your majesty.”

  I drew closer. He reached out and gently touched my hand, opening his mouth to speak but was cut off by another loud bark from within the trees.

  “They draw near… You should leave. I will try to draw them away.” He squeezed my hand before turning and disappearing into the trees.

  I looked down at the motionless water, smooth as a mirror. I became aware of the feeling of eyes watching me. I looked around, trying to locate the source. There was no sign of anyone in sight.

  I took a few steps forward when I heard a twig snap. My head darted up and shot around, looking for whatever had made the sound. Nothing.

  I took a
nother step and paused. I heard the sound of soft feet in the snow moving towards me. I narrowed my eyes, pinpointing the direction that the noise was coming from. A soft growl came from the darkness and a hulking mass stepped into sight. My eyes widened. I saw dirty fur, hungry eyes and dripping fangs.

  I ran, tearing towards the trees. The dog let out a howling sound and leapt after me. It was only a short distance to the forest but it seemed to stretch on for miles, an endless desert of white and patchy green with no end in sight. My foot caught in a dip in the grass and I stumbled. I was forced to pause for a moment to free my ankle. I dared glance back and saw the dog was closing the distance between us. I wrenched my leg free and was about to resume my attempt to flee when something heavy collided with me, knocking me to the ground.

  I rolled across the snow, the sloping ground sending me away from my destination. I dug my fingers into the ground, slowing myself and then stopping entirely. I lay on the snow, momentarily dazed. I blinked, the stars above swimming into focus before they were blocked out by the form of the dog. It pounced on me, winding me as its weight struck me.

  Fierce eyes bored into mine, its lip curled back to expose a line of long sharp fangs, ropes of drool hanging from them. I could smell the stench of rotten meat on its breath, strong and rancid, making me gag with every breath I took.

  I knew I should call for help, scream until someone came or try to fight the beast off but I was frozen with fear. The beast moved over me, its claws digging into the soft flesh of my arms as it held me down. I whimpered, turning my head away as saliva dripped down onto my face. I felt a sandpaper like tongue brush against my cheek and a growl trembled through the animal.

  My arm was held down by the weight of the animal but my hand was free and I searched the grass desperately for something I could use to fight him off. My other arm was loose and I slammed it helplessly against the dog’s chest and face, trying to drive it away from me. I squirmed underneath the animal, hoping I could wriggle free. It snarled, baring its fangs and shifted its weight a little, allowing me a small amount of movement.