The Boyfriend Whisperer 2.0

by Linda Budzinski

  Jaycee squeals and moves back up to sit beside him. He winks at me, which—fortunately—neither Maggs nor Brie witnesses. I twist back around in my seat and try my best to ignore him. Still, I can’t help but soften a bit as I overhear him reviewing the finer points of the game with his sister. Whether it’s the positioning of a player’s arms or feet, or a defense formation, or a skill shot, he offers a running commentary explaining to her what works and what doesn’t. He seems to really know his stuff.

  At halftime, Maggs and Brie practically drag me down the bleachers, across the court, and into a hallway.

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “Bright Angel?”

  “What school project?”

  “You’ve been holding out on us, girl.”

  I wave my hands in front of my face to fend off the verbal onslaught. “I have not been holding out,” I say. “It’s nothing. It’s a stupid English lit project, and it’s mostly just texts, and we’ve had to meet a couple of times to plan it, but I swear it’s no big deal. After Friday it’ll all be over and we can get back to our normal lives.”

  “You’ve had to meet?” A grin spreads across Brie’s face. “You’re blushing,” she says. “How did Darius put it? ‘Cheeks so bright they would … ’ what? I don’t believe you let him finish.”

  “Shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp,” I mumble.

  “Ah, yes, the stars being your eyes,” Maggs chimes in.

  I glare at them both. “It’s from Romeo and Juliet. We’re doing a modern-day retelling, and like I said, it’ll be mostly texts.”

  “Romeo and Juliet?” Brie is literally bouncing on her heels. “Are you kidding me? That’s so romantic. It’s—”

  “No. It’s not. It’s not romantic. It’s an assignment. For a class. And this conversation is over.” I turn on my heel and stomp back toward the gym. As I walk through the double doors, I literally run into Ty and Becca.

  “Excuse me.” Becca pulls away from their lip lock and shoots me a dirty look. “Watch where you’re going.”

  Ty raises an eyebrow but says nothing.

  I wish I were bold enough to remark on how inadvisable it is to stop and suck face in the middle of the gym doorway during halftime of a sold-out game, but instead I offer a thin smile. “Sorry,” I mumble as I make my escape back to the bleachers.

  I try to enjoy the second half, but my run-in with Ty and Becca has left an ache in the pit of my stomach. I remember how it once felt to kiss Ty.

  Our first kiss was in the parking lot at Italiano’s. It was our first date—a Ryan Gosling flick followed by flatbread pizza and wings. The night had been perfect, and as we walked back to Ty’s car, he reached over for my hand. He opened the passenger-side door for me but then turned and placed his free hand on the frame, blocking my path. My heart raced, and I leaned into him. He brushed a strand of hair away from my face, placing it with care behind my ear.

  “You’re adorable when you eat pizza, you know that?” He touched the edge of my lip with his thumb. “The way you nibble at the cheese.”

  I blushed at that, and he laughed. “It’s true,” he said. “As I sat there watching you battle that mozzarella, all I could think about was how much I wanted to do this.” He tilted my chin up toward him and pressed his lips against mine, softly at first and then more intensely. It was my first real kiss, and while I’d expected it to be wet and weird and maybe a little clumsy, it was none of those things. It was almost like breathing—normal and natural and simple. I leaned my full weight into Ty’s chest, and he emitted a low moan deep in his throat.

  “WOOHOO!”

  A roar and a loud buzz bring me back to the game. I blink and check the scoreboard. Time has run out with Grand View up by two points. Apparently Lexi scored a three-pointer at the buzzer to clinch the win.

  “Game over.” Jaycee is beside me in a flash, her eyes shining. “Can we meet Lexi now? Please?”

  I smile and nod, and when I glance back at Darius, he mouths thank you. I grab Jaycee’s hand and lead her down to the court, with Darius close behind us.

  The crowd has surged onto the floor, swarming the team, so it takes forever to reach the Grand View bench. I spot Lexi’s ponytail a few feet ahead of us when someone taps my shoulder and calls my name.

  It’s Aiden. “Hey. A bunch of us are heading over to McDonald’s. Do you and Maggs want to come?”

  I glance around and lean toward him. Even though my mouth is about two inches from his ear, I have to shout to be heard above the din. “Define ‘a bunch of us.’”

  Aiden gives me a side-eye. “Milo, Jack, Fernando, Ty, and maybe—”

  “Okay, sure. Give me a minute.” I turn back to Jaycee. “Hold on a second, sweetheart. I need to text Maggs about something.” I sense Darius frowning at me from the periphery, but I ignore him. I text Maggs and Brie, who say they’ll come.

  “We’re on,” I say to Aiden. “We’ll catch up with you over there.”

  He pumps his fist in the air, and as I turn back toward the team, I realize they’re retreating toward the locker rooms.

  “Shoot.” I leave Jaycee and Darius behind as I try to chase them down through the crowd.

  “Lexi!” I shout, but she doesn’t hear me. “Lexi, hold up.”

  If I miss her, we’re screwed. No one is allowed into the locker rooms—not parents, not friends, and certainly not a tween-age fan accompanied by a random student.

  I weave in and out through the crowd, following the team across the court, but I’m too late. The girls disappear one by one through the locker room doors. Darn it. I turn to find Jaycee making her way toward me, but she stops and the light fades from her eyes as she realizes we’ve missed our chance.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say when I reach her.

  “It’s okay. You tried.” Jaycee offers a smile, but it doesn’t hide her disappointment.

  “You know, they’ll come back out in about twenty or thirty—”

  Darius shakes his head. “It’s a school night. I need to get her home.”

  “Right.” Ugh. “I feel so bad. I’m sorry. I just … Aiden asked me something, and … ” I’m not sure how to finish that sentence. And I totally ditched on the promise I made you.

  Darius shrugs. “No worries.” He rests his hand on Jaycee’s shoulder. “Maybe next time, Jay.”

  She nods. “Maybe.”

  As they turn to leave, I call goodbye.

  Darius turns back and winks. Only this time it’s minus the warm smile.

  LIBBY Question #19: You prefer your date to be:

  A. Smart

  B. Athletic

  C. Funny

  D. Flirty

  Ty picked “D.” Which explains his attraction to Becca, I suppose. And which is why I’m sitting across the booth from him at McDonald’s giggling hysterically as he tells a story about how his Eagle Scout project—a set of benches he built and painted for his church’s picnic area—went awry because of an unexpected storm. Meanwhile, Brie rolls her eyes at me from the next table.

  “Too bad McD’s doesn’t serve flatbread.” I lean forward and pout my lips in an effort to remind him of my cheese-nibbling prowess.

  Ty grimaces. “Pretty sure McDonald’s flatbread would be disgusting.” He takes a swig of his soda and munches on a piece of ice.

  “So where’s Becca?” I hate to bring her up, but I can’t help myself.

  He shrugs. “She didn’t want to come. Said all the shouting at the game gave her a headache.”

  I nod. He doesn’t seem overly concerned. Perhaps they’re not as serious as I’d feared?

  “That’s too bad. It did get pretty loud. Especially when Lexi scored that final basket.” I point a chicken nugget at him. “Remember the game-winning goal you scored in the Richmond tournament last spring? That was amazing.”

  “I figured that dude would go left.” Ty leans back in his seat, his eyes shining at the memory. “He went left, like, seventy percent of the time. I liked my odds.”
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  “It was a beautiful kick.” We’d been over that shot many times. I always loved that Ty approached soccer as much as a mental game as a physical one. And that he was so often right.

  He reaches over to grab the nugget, which I’ve forgotten I’m still holding, and pops it into his mouth. “Those were some good times, weren’t they?”

  My heart pounds. “Do you think about those times much?”

  “Course I do, Al.”

  I smile. Al. My brother and his friends called me that when I was little and I hated it, but coming from Ty, that single syllable is perfection.

  “Know what I miss the most?” he asks.

  I shake my head.

  “I miss how we used to—”

  “Yo, Alicea.” Aiden plops down next to Ty, cutting him off. “You gotta help me. Milo is monopolizing Maggs over there. How am I supposed to get her attention if I can’t even get a word in?”

  “Aiden, do you mind? We’re having a conversation.” I glare, hoping he’ll leave, but once again, I’ve underestimated his persistence.

  “Give me something, anything,” he pleads. “Her favorite movie or book or song. What does she love more than anything in the world?”

  I peer over at Maggs. She’s giving Milo her flirty eyes. Crap. “Um. I don’t know. Daisies?”

  Aiden gives me a side-eye. “Daisies? As in, the flower?”

  “Yeah. She really likes them.”

  “What am I supposed to do with that?”

  “I don’t know. You’re putting me on the spot here.”

  “Know what you call a guy who’s dating Maggs?” Ty asks him.

  “What?”

  “Her Next Ex.”

  Aiden glowers, and I kick Ty under the table. “This is different.”

  “How?”

  “Because Aiden is her match. Libby says so.” My stomach clenches as I utter the words. What does Libby know? What if she has no idea what she’s talking about? Or worse, what if she does?

  “Well, if she’s your match, why are you asking Alicea for help? Shouldn’t you be into all the same stuff?”

  “Ty has a point,” I say. “Talk to her about the things you like. You like art, right? I mean, you knew about that de Kooning guy.”

  Aiden nods.

  “Maggs likes that dude who did the painting of the girl sitting on the hill. You know the one. It’s really … orange.”

  “You mean Wyeth? ‘Christina’s World’?”

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  Aiden shakes his head. “Thanks. I think. Wish me luck.”

  I lean forward and offer Ty another nugget as Aiden takes off. “Now, where were we? I believe you were saying something about what you miss the—”

  Ty’s phone dings, and he pulls it out of his front shirt pocket. “Becca.”

  Of course. I slump back into my seat as he texts her back, waits for her reply, then texts her back again. Wash, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat. I give a loud sigh and slurp at the bottom of my soda, but he seems not to notice. Whatever. Apparently, I am doomed to live the rest of my days on earth never knowing what Ty misses most about our almost-five-months together.

  Finally, he sticks his phone back in his pocket and looks up. “You know what? I should head home,” he says. “I’ve got a physics quiz first period.”

  “Right. Me too. I mean, not the part about the quiz, but the part about going home.”

  “Okay, well, see you later.” He stands to go.

  “Ty?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I, um, just wanted to remind you. This Saturday? It’s the dance recital. I’m leading the corps, and so … it’s not really a big deal, but you seemed interested, so if you want to come, you could. It starts at three.”

  Ty nods. “Okay, sure. I mean, I have some soccer stuff this weekend, so no promises, but if I can make it, I will.”

  I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Great. That’d be awesome.”

  “Cool.” And with that, he saunters off into the night.

  I’m a bit nervous when I walk into lit class on Friday. I’ve successfully avoided contact with Darius since dashing his kid sister’s dreams on Tuesday. Now, not only do I have to face him, I have to play Juliet to his modern-day Romeo.

  “Ready to do this thing?” Abi greets me as I sit down at my desk.

  I offer what I hope comes off as a confident smile as I reach into my backpack, find the flash drive with the slideshow, and hand it to Mr. Dunham. He takes the drive from me and slips it into his laptop port, but as he starts to copy the file, Darius appears at his side.

  “Use this one instead.” Darius hands him his own drive. “I had a few edits.”

  Uh-oh. I don’t like the sound of that. “Wait. What edits?”

  “Nothing major.” Darius’s tone is dismissive as he passes me on his way to his seat, but I notice he doesn’t make eye contact. Shoot. What has he done?

  I don’t have time to question him, because the bell rings and Mr. Dunham calls up the first pair of students to perform their retelling. Ty and Jack recreate the Don Quixote windmill scene, and their version is every bit as bizarre as the original, only instead of windmills, Ty is battling a make-believe defective oilrig, and I guess it’s supposed to make some kind of environmental statement, though I’m not sure exactly what. Next up are Abi and Briggs, and their Cyrano scene is beyond adorable. Anyone can see they’re perfect for each other.

  Three more pairs get up and act out scenes based on Pride and Prejudice, A Tale of Two Cities, and Of Mice and Men. All the while, I’m getting more and more nervous. When will it be our turn? And what were Darius’s edits? Finally, Mr. Dunham glances at his chart. “Alicea and Darius. You’re on.”

  The beginning of our skit goes exactly as scripted. Abi and I stand at the front of the room, squealing about our plans for prom. It’s totally over the top, and Abi uses a super annoying high-pitched voice that makes everyone laugh in all the right places.

  Darius approaches us. “Excuse me. Can I talk to Juliet for a minute?” His eyes meet mine for the first time since the basketball game. Thank goodness this is supposed to be the awkward part of the scene, because my face burns under his gaze.

  Abi offers her best mean-girl once-over. “Hello? Can’t you see we’re in the middle of a very important convo? And shouldn’t you be hanging out at the skate park with all your juvie friends?”

  Darius mumbles an apology and shuffles away. After Abi and I say our goodbyes, I pull out my phone and pretend to type. I reach over to dim the lights, cue Mr. D. to start the slideshow, and sit back down at my desk.

  The slides start out fine, popping up one text at a time, starting with my apology and moving on to some flirting, with plenty of emojis. As planned, Romeo eventually gets up the nerve to tell Juliet why he wanted to talk to her.

  Romeo: Heard you discussing prom.

  Juliet: Yeah.

  Romeo: Still no date?

  Juliet. :P

  Juliet. Don’t go there.

  Juliet: You know it’ll never work.

  Romeo: I haven’t even asked yet.

  Juliet: Let’s keep it that way.

  Juliet. Please.

  Romeo: Why?

  Juliet: You know the answer to that. We’re from different worlds.

  Romeo: So this is it? We just text forever?

  Juliet: :(

  At this point, Romeo is supposed to say that texting isn’t enough, that he wants to hear Juliet’s voice and hold her hand in his, but instead of the next slide, a video appears.

  What the—? This can’t be good. Resisting the urge to turn and glare at Darius, I slip down in my seat and brace myself for his unauthorized “edits.”

  Darius’s face appears on the screen, a hip-hop beat playing in the background, and he begins to rap.

  Oh, Juliet, sweet Juliet,

  Don’t hide behind that crown.

  Give me a chance

  At the senior dance.

  My love
won’t let you down.

  You’re posing on your balcony,

  Your pedestal, afraid of me,

  Your royalty’s a fantasy

  And vanity’s your enemy.

  Well, pardon me, your majesty.

  If I don’t bow on bended knee

  Because, fair lady, I can see

  The maiden you are meant to be.

  At this point, the camera pans out, and Darius starts dancing—a few simple moves, but I have to give him credit. He’s a natural. He has what Ms. DuBois would call “savoir faire of the hips.” And all the while, he keeps rapping.

  Oh, Juliet, sweet Juliet,

  You think you have it made.

  That’s very well,

  But can’t you tell,

  It’s all a masquerade?

  Look closely there into their eyes,

  A cloying charm is their disguise.

  I pledge to you a thousand times,

  You are not wise to compromise

  Your future for a pack of lies.

  In fact, I would hypothesize

  Your regal court is your demise

  Because with them, your spirit dies.

  Oh, Juliet, sweet Juliet,

  Hark now and hear my plea.

  Don’t be proud.

  Come off your cloud.

  And take the floor with me.

  Come, fair lady, don’t be blue.

  I’ll tell you now what you should do

  You must eschew your haughty crew

  And come with me. My love is true.

  Your balcony may have a view

  But now it’s time to come down to

  Your Romeo. I’m someone who

  In life and death will honor you.

  Oh, Juliet, sweet Juliet,

  You are my angel bright.

  In tux and gown, we’ll hit the town.

  Say you’ll be mine tonight.

  As the music fades, Darius backs away from the camera, signing off with, “Promposal. Shakespeare style.”

  The entire class breaks out in applause as someone hits the lights. I stay tucked down in my seat, frozen. At no point did we ever mention a video, much less a rap scene. Darius totally lied when he insisted he wanted to work together as a team and when he said that I had nothing to fear and claimed his changes were “nothing major.” That wasn’t really a retelling; it was more of a weird Elizabethan-Kanye-style mashup, and I have no idea what it’ll do to our grade.