Cure For Pain

by NM Facile

  Mary waved and gave a small greeting and quickly went to the office to see if Karen was around. When she walked away the conversation resumed, but didn’t sound as lively as it had when she first walked in.

  Karen was on the phone, so Mary went over to the staff desk. She pulled out her phone and tried to read off it, but couldn’t help but listen in on the group of women. She had been told that one of Lora’s group meetings consisted of prostitutes. Mary wondered if this was the group.

  They all seemed so different from each other. The only similarity she noticed in all of them was the dead eyes. Only the baby seemed to shine with an inner light. Mary couldn’t imagine what would have to happen to make a person look like that. She didn’t judge any of them for the life they led. From the look of them, it obviously wasn’t an easy life and it made her wonder how they’d ended up living like that.

  The group was in the process of winding down when Karen came out of her office and over to the desk. Mary rarely saw Karen, but when she did Karen always had a smile on her face.

  “Good afternoon, Mary. How do you like it here?” Her voice was soft and pleasant.

  “Hello, Karen. I like it. I’m learning, but I feel like I have a long way to go.”

  Karen stood close to Mary and rubbed her shoulder in a maternal manner. “It can be overwhelming to someone who hasn’t had much exposure to the issues we deal with here. I know when I started, I felt like I was swimming upriver every day. But day by day I began to see results and I realized that I could only help people as much as they would let me.”

  “How did you get started here?”

  Karen sat down in the chair beside her and gracefully crossed her legs. “I started as a volunteer when the Harms Reduction program was new to Minneapolis, going out to temporary locations to distribute works and information. Then the awareness grew, and we began to include more services. Soon we were able to get enough funding to get a permanent location. By that time I had become so involved with the program that they offered me the position of director. I still answer to a board, but I suppose having me around helps streamline the day to day operations.”

  “So did you go to college for something like this? Like social work or psychology?”

  Karen laughed and the group looked up at them briefly. She smiled at them before turning back to me. “No, I was an art history major.”

  Mary stared at her in surprise.

  “I know it’s different from working in a museum or gallery, but I wouldn’t change a minute of it.”

  Mary would have liked to pick her brain a little longer, but the ladies in the group were all getting up to leave. Karen stood and spoke with each of them as they left. Lora called the mother over to her, saying she had some things for the baby in her office.

  “Hey, Mary, could I get some works?” Chloe’s mannerisms were similar to others who’d come in for works: she shifted from foot to foot in impatience and chewed on her lower lip as she scratched at her arms.

  “Sure,” Mary replied. Chloe’s complexion was more than pale; it was sallow. Her eyes were sunken in and very dark. She was so thin her cheekbones stood out significantly. It was similar to the look Mary’s mother had the last time she saw her. It was the look that had haunted Mary since last Thanksgiving when she first found out about her mom.

  Chloe left quickly when Mary gave her the packet. The others were gone by then too, except for the young mother, who was still in the office with Lora. Karen went into the office and came out with the baby.

  She cooed to the little girl as she helped her into her jacket. When the mom came out she handed the little girl back with a smile. It was a cross between pure joy and longing.

  “You’re really good with kids. Do you have any of your own?”

  Karen looked at Mary for a few seconds, figuring out whether she wanted to share her thoughts. Finally she sat down as she said, “Unfortunately I don’t.”

  Mary waited for her to continue. She didn’t. Karen was more guarded than she thought.

  “What about you, Mary? Do you like kids?”

  “I don’t know. I mean I’ve never really given them a thought.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I never had any around.

  “You didn’t have any brothers or sisters, or cousins?” She sounded surprised. Mary had run into that before, mainly from people that came from big families.

  “No. The family practically disowned my mom when she became pregnant with me. She had an affair with the husband of a long-time friend of the family. Her parents didn’t want anything to do with her after that.” Karen nodded sympathetically. It made her feel like she needed to explain more. “My dad stayed with his wife and family. I’ve seen him a few times, but he didn’t really want anything to do with me and I didn’t need him either.” Mary was always pretty open about her family or lack thereof. She found being open about it saved on awkward situations later on.

  “That didn’t really answer if you like kids or not.” Karen had one elegant eyebrow raised.

  “I suppose it didn’t.” Mary thought for a second about whether she did like kids. She pictured the baby that had just been in. Just the thought of the smile and the innocence; how could she not like that? “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  Karen smiled at her, and Mary asked her if she wanted kids.

  “Maybe someday.” With that she got up and went back to her office.

  Jack couldn’t work all the hours Safe Works was open and Karen and Lora had crazy schedules too, so occasionally the place was turned over to just the volunteers to run. While all the volunteers Mary worked with were helpful and welcoming, it was the shifts with Nikki that were by far the most interesting. Of all the volunteers, Nikki seemed to be scheduled most often with Mary.

  She spent most of her time either on the phone or gossiping. Faith and Mary sat in silence most of the first night they were there alone with her as she stunned them with one tale after another.

  Tonight Nikki was over by the couches and Faith and Mary were at the desk putting the latest newsletters together. The girls hadn’t had much time together lately with their busy schedules and it was nice to have the time together.

  “Have you talked to your mom lately?” Faith asked as she stacked the papers together before handing them to Mary to staple.

  “The last time I called she was resting. J. P. said she’s been about the same.” Mary still blamed her stepfather J. P. for her mom’s illness and that was apparent in her tone.

  “You know being mad at him isn’t going to change anything.”

  “I could say the same thing to you about Jack.” Mary didn’t want to talk about J. P. or her mom and she knew just bringing up Jack’s name would get a reaction for Faith.

  “Why does he always have to say things like, ‘you’re a feisty little thing’? Is he saying I’m bitchy?”

  “Well, you kinda are to him. Why does he bother you so much? I’ve never seen someone get to you like he does.”

  “He just weirds me out with that constant calm manner of his. There is no way someone can be that easy going all the time. Even when he’s disagreeing with me he does it in the same tone of voice.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that. He’s just laid back, that’s all. Is that why you are always trying to bait him in to arguing?”

  “I don’t bait him!”

  “Yes, you do. I think you like him.” Mary teased Faith, trying to just get her to admit that she liked Jack.

  “I do not!” Faith huffed and got up from behind the desk and moved over to the grungy couch, away from Mary, to pout.

  Nikki asked Faith about her job at the hospital and whether she worked with Dr. Porter. When Faith told her that she didn’t, Nikki launched into a narrative about him. Mary tried not to listen as she gossiped, but ended up being lured over there anyway. From Nikki’s description, Mary was beginning to wonder if she wasn’t confusing him with a character on Grey’s Anatomy.

  “Yo
u know Karen is older than him, right? She is. It’s only by a few years or something but I think he only married her because her family is loaded. I don’t know why she even works here…”

  Nikki continued on, telling them first about Karen and her family and then about the doctor and the flirty looks she swore he had been giving her.

  “Of course Jack doesn’t ever schedule us any time alone.” She ended bitterly before moving on to talk about Jack.

  Mary caught the subtle shift in Faith at the mention of Jack’s name. Something was definitely brewing there, she was sure of it.

  Nikki didn’t say anything about him that Mary hadn’t already deduced. He’d already shown her the scars from his battle with heroin. What she hadn’t known was that Karen and her husband were the reasons he was clean now and working here.

  “After Anna OD’d they took him in and put him through rehab. I think he’s like paying them back or something.”

  Mary wondered if Anna had been the girl he was referring to when Faith had asked him what brought him up from Texas.

  Nikki briefly debated out loud with herself about which had been the time she’d seen him the most messed up. Mary glanced at Faith and was thrown a curve by the stormy emotions playing across her friend’s face. Faith was biting her lip as if she was holding something back, but Mary didn’t get the feeling it was another complaint about Jack. It became apparent that Faith’s anger seemed to be directed at Nikki. Mary couldn’t really figure out what the reason was.

  They heard about which volunteers had family who were junkies and who was sleeping with whom. Nikki was like a walking blonde tabloid.

  Nikki went on and on as the night continued. Mary hoped that Jack wouldn’t schedule Nikki and Faith together too often. She wasn’t sure which of them would talk the most. She imagined the headache she’d have listening to the two of them jabber on.

  “So what do you do when you’re not volunteering here?” Faith asked Nikki after a drop in left.

  “I waitress at Granite City. It’s not much but it’s about all I’m qualified for.” Nikki saw from the confusion on the other girls’ faces that she needed to elaborate. “I didn’t exactly do too well in high school. I liked to party more than study and now that’s kinda come back to bite me in the ass.”

  “You’ve obviously changed since then.” Mary thought Nikki often looked tired but she didn’t seem like a party girl.

  “Yeah I’ve change a lot since then. I cleaned up after I watched my best friend go through hell with a baby born with disabilities from all the shit we use to do.” There was a deep sadness in Nikki’s eyes and bitter regret in her voice. “She’s a great mom now and her son is doing better. He’s almost seven now.” She smiled as she thought of the little boy. It was obvious she loved the child.

  “I’m sure that was hard. I had clinicals in the NICU. It broke my heart seeing all those little ones attached to all the tubes and wires. Those kids are fighters; through it seems like the rougher they start out in life the tougher they are.”

  Mary remembered when Faith did her rounds there. She always shared stories of the babies and families.

  “It was really hard but it made us see how our choices in life didn’t just affect us. It was a long battle but we beat it. My friend Sara, that’s the boy’s mother, she is my hero. She really is. I’ve seen how hard things have been for her and while I’m there for her I also wanted to do more. I volunteer here to help others as much as I can.”

  Mary nodded. She felt a connection with Nikki after her story. “That’s why I’m here too. My mom has Hepatitis C. There’s nothing I can do for her but there maybe something I can do for others.” It felt good to share that with Nikki. Until that point Mary hadn’t spoke about it with anyone other than Faith.

  “Was she a user? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

  “No, it’s okay. She wasn’t a user. She contracted it from my stepfather; he was sort of a user, I guess you could say.” While Mary could share her mother’s illness, she wasn’t quite ready to talk about how she became ill. It was still too touchy of a subject to Mary.

  “Is he still?”

  “No.”

  Mary didn’t add anymore and there was a slight awkward silence until Nikki started talking again. She sensed Mary’s hesitation and understood that this was still something Mary was working through.

  “Sometimes we don’t see the opportunities we have in front of us or we resent those who only want to be helpful. If Sara and I would have cleaned up when her ex-boyfriend did than we both would have been better off. It’s hard though because if we had than she wouldn’t have broken up with T. J. and ultimately wouldn’t have had her son. Our lives would be different but I don’t necessarily think that means they would be better. Sometimes it’s about how you look at the situation.”

  Midnight rolled around shortly after that and the girls all said their goodbyes. Nikki’s words lingered in Mary’s mind long after she was home. Even with all the optimism in the world it was hard to look at her mother’s situation and find anything good about it.

  Chapter 5 - Whispers

  Mary kept her volunteer time at Safe Works to no more than three nights a week and one day on the weekend so that it wouldn’t interfere with her teaching responsibilities. The constant prep of lesson plans and grading occupied the rest of her free time. She was currently teaching a unit on writing resumes and business letters. There was even a section on formal emails and how to fill out job applications. It was all part of helping the students learn what they needed to start a job search after graduation.

  A few of her students were applying for college. They met with her after school, and she helped them write essays and apply for grants and scholarships. Mary was very proud of her students and pleased to be able to help them. She had a favorite, one she was a little more concerned about than the others. There was a longing in the girl’s eyes and a wistfulness in her voice when she talked about going to college. Rozene Greyhawk was already twenty but had quit high school in her last year.

  Rozene had confided in Mary that her boyfriend and her older brother were members of Ozuye 6, or ‘the OZ,’ one of the Twin Cities’ Native American gangs. Rozene wasn’t a member but used to be heavily involved with the activities of the gang. She had told Mary about how she had dropped out of school her senior year because she was often too high to go. She hadn’t seen the point of an education because she would just end up like everyone else in her neighborhood, with a few kids and a minimum wage job, with no way out of the city unless it was to end up back on a reservation. But her cousin went away to college, and after a couple of years of persistence, she convinced Rozene that she could do it, too.

  Rozene cleaned up and applied to East Side Alternative School. She was committed to changing her future and worked hard towards that goal. She hoped to get into a local community college to become a dental hygienist. Her cousin wanted her to come live with her, but Rozene refused to leave her boyfriend. She confessed to Mary that she hoped she could get a job that would take her from the city, and persuade him to quit banging and leave with her.

  Mary was staying late to help Rozene work on an essay for a grant. Rozene was typing quietly on a computer in the back of the room and Mary was looking over some rough drafts of resumes when they were startled by a deep voice calling out from the doorway.

  “Hey, nerd girl, you ready to roll?”

  Mary turned to the door, not sure if the tall stranger was talking to her. She opened her mouth to tell him that he didn’t belong in her classroom but the words died on her lips. Something about him set off alarm bells; he was both intimidating and attractive. He stood well over six feet, and his bronze skin and subtle features spoke of his Native American heritage. His dark hair was shaved close to his scalp, but it was his facial tattoos that suggested he might be trouble. The one over his right eye, especially drew her attention. She couldn’t make out what it said, but the small black letters followed the curve of his arc
hed brow perfectly. He had another trailing from the corner of his right eye that looked like two inches of barbed wire.

  Mary realized she was staring at him and blushed a serious shade of scarlet. She shifted her eyes down to the paper on her desk.

  “Fuck off, Dom.” Rozene looked wide-eyed at her teacher and quickly apologized. “Sorry, Miss Flynn, I didn’t mean to say that in your classroom.” She glared back at the man standing in the doorway. “This is my brother, Dom.”

  “That’s fine, Rozene. Nice to meet you, Dom,” Mary glanced at the clock above the door. It was almost five, and she was supposed to pick Faith up at five. Faith’s car was in the shop, so Mary offered to get her from work. “I need to get going, too.” She started gathering her papers but sensed the warmth of Dom’s dark eyes on her. She stole a peek at him; he was indeed watching her. His smug grin broadened into a wicked smile.

  “Miss Flynn, huh?” He started towards her with a lazy stride as he eyed her cockily. He dropped his voice, “If I had teachers that looked like you I woulda stayed in school.” He was standing next to the chair where she sat. He was so close that she could have moved her fingers and touched the light blue denim covering his thigh.

  He had her flustered. She swallowed as she searched for something to say. Before she got the chance to reply, Rozene came over and slapped him on the chest, pushing him back.

  “Jeez, Dom, you’re disgusting. That’s my teacher. Back off.” He just laughed at her. His laugh was warm and carefree.

  “What, Roz? I’m just sayin’ she could teach me a li’l somethin’ too.” He cocked his eyebrow at her and she could now make out the word warrior.

  “I’ll teach you something.” Rozene hissed at him as she pulled on a black jacket. “Thanks for staying, Miss Flynn. I’ll get my idiot brother outta here and leave you alone.” Rozene tossed a goodbye over her shoulder as she walked to the door.

  Mary managed to mumble a goodbye. Dom’s honey voice dripped, “See ya later, teach.”