Anyone but Her

by Erica Lee

  “What’s that all about?”

  My body stiffened at the sound of Jamie’s voice behind me. “What’s what about?” I asked as calmly as possible, worried over what he might have noticed about the interaction between Charlie and me.

  “Those stretches,” he laughed. “You look so stiff right now. Feeling a little out of shape?”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Even out of shape, I could run circles around you,” I jeered.

  Jamie’s expression became much more serious. “We still have our usual deal though, right?”

  “Of course. Start together. Finish together.”

  Jamie and I were both ridiculously competitive so we had come to an agreement early on in our friendship that we wouldn’t compete with each other. This way, we could avoid the inevitable fights it would cause.

  He stuck his first out for me to bump as we lined up on the starting line, and I flashed Charlie one more smile as they signaled for the race to begin. It didn’t take long for me to see that Jamie was taking this race much more seriously than any we had done in the past together. By the time the last mile came, my legs were burning from trying to keep up with him.

  “Could we chill out a little bit, dude?” I asked as I felt him picking up the pace even more.

  Instead of acknowledging my words, his eyes latched onto the one person who was in front of us—a guy who seemed to be around our age. I gently shoved my elbow into his side to get his attention. “Oh. Sorry. Guess I got a little caught up,” he apologized.

  We fell back into a nice stride until one of the spectators yelled, “Go get it, MVP.”

  I didn’t realize it was directed at Jamie until he suddenly picked up his pace, pulling away from me without even looking back. I tried to keep up, but my muscles were too tight from my extracurricular activities. I watched as Jamie blasted past the guy in front of us and pumped his fist as he ran across the finish line.

  His dad met him there and the two of them chest bumped as Jamie yelled, “Once the MVP. Always the MVP.”

  What the hell.

  “Start together, finish together, my ass,” I growled, as I pushed past him.

  I felt a hand on my arm and whirled around, ready to yell at Jamie for going against our pact. To my surprise, it was Charlie standing there.

  “Nice race, killer.” The smile on her face was almost enough to make me forget about how pissed I was at her brother. Not enough for her to miss the annoyance on my face. “Everything okay?” she asked, discreetly running a hand over my arm.

  I motioned toward Jamie, who was now getting high fives from a bunch of guys our age. “Let’s just say I’m having a little lover’s spat with your brother.”

  Charlie looked around, then stepped close to me to whisper in my ear. “I think I might be able to help cheer you up. We just have to sneak away and…”

  “Hey, babe!” Jamie’s booming voice interrupted the one I actually wanted to hear right now. I groaned as I turned to face him.

  “Could you come walk with me quick?”

  “Raincheck?” I whispered to Charlie, receiving a nod and wink in return.

  I turned toward Jamie and reluctantly took the hand he had extended toward me. We were both silent as we walked away from the crowd. “Listen, I feel like I should explain…”

  “Why you just turned into a giant tool?” I interrupted. “I know it might seem like a dumb thing to get angry about, but it’s honestly hard to watch. You’re a completely different person here.”

  Jamie squirmed beside me and chewed on his lip. “Come on. That’s a bit unfair. I’ve been trying. I really have. It’s a fine line between making my parents happy and losing myself.”

  The vulnerability in his voice eased some of my annoyance. “Could you at least tell me what happened out there? Aside from your testosterone-driven ego kicking in.”

  Jamie stopped walking and kicked at some dirt on the ground. “That guy who was running in front of us was actually the quarterback for our rival high school. His name is Devon. He graduated the same year as me.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at this reasoning. “Really, Jamie? High school was so long ago. I didn’t think you were the type of guy to let a stupid high school rivalry affect you.”

  A deadly serious expression took over Jamie’s face. “If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone?”

  I jokingly looked around. “Who would I tell?”

  “I don’t know. You and my sister seem to get along.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped. I looked away from him, worried that my face might give something away.

  “I just meant that I see you guys talking a lot.” He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck nervously. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest that you would ever be unloyal. This is just something I vowed to never tell anyone.”

  I reached out my hand to squeeze his. “What is it, Jamie?”

  Jamie took a deep breath and glanced around nervously. “I know I told you I first hooked up with a guy in college, but that was a lie. I’m not proud of this story, so I kept it to myself all this time. Near the end of my junior year, I was paired up with a quiet kid from my class to do some project. I had never talked to him before because he was in band and I was a football player. Those groups didn’t mingle. So anyway, I didn’t realize what was happening at first, but I quickly became infatuated with him. His name was Ethan. He had curly brown hair and wore thick-framed glasses before they were cool. He was kind of a nerd, but also hilarious. Well, things happened, and one night we ended up making out. He apparently told his cousin who was best friends with the girl Devon was dating at the time. I know. Small town shit is weird. I also never told you this, but I was still planning on playing football in college at this point. I was being recruited by this one DII school, but apparently, it was Devon’s dream school. He figured out my address and showed up at my house one night to tell me he had reliable sources to confirm I was gay, and if I didn’t turn down the school, he would out me to everyone.”

  I pulled him into a tight hug when I noticed tears starting to stream down his face. “God, Jamie, that’s awful. What did you do?”

  He backed away from me and did his best to wipe the tears away, again checking if there was anyone around who might catch the scene. “I immediately called the coach and told him I changed my mind. I lied and said that I had decided I didn’t want to play football in college. I was scared to death, Reagan. This would’ve ruined everything. It would’ve been a huge scandal for people to find out the town’s star football player was gay. Not to mention the fact that I was dating Mary Beth. So many people would’ve hated me if they found out I not only cheated on her, but with a guy. And all of that was nothing compared to what I would’ve gone through with my parents.”

  Jamie’s story was such a shock to me that I had to take some time to fully process it and decide how to respond. “Okay. First of all, you should have told me this before the race. I would’ve not only made sure you won, but also would’ve broken that asshole’s leg. Second off, I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m also sorry it ruined football for you. I had no idea you ever planned to play in college.”

  Jamie shook his head. “I wouldn’t change that part of it. I’m really happy I went to NYU. I got an amazing education and met some great friends, including my bestie. Plus, I was able to be myself. College athletics come with a lot of expectations and I don’t think I would’ve felt comfortable coming out if I’d played football. After that whole situation, I did so much to prove my masculinity that I kind of hated myself.”

  “And what about the guy you hooked up with?”

  Jamie cringed. “That’s the worst part. I refused to talk to him. I was a huge jerk whenever he even tried to approach me. It’s such a shame too. I know nothing had really developed between us, but I think if I had given it a chance, it could’ve been great. Have you ever met someone and instantly felt connected to them? Like you couldn’t explain it,
but you just knew there was something special about them? Even after seeing that person just once, you understood that you would have their face memorized for the rest of your life?”

  While he talked, my eyes landed on Charlie, who was now walking toward us. I studied her face that I did, indeed, already know by heart. The freckles that were more numerous on her right cheek than her left. The dimple that only appeared when she was laughing really hard. The small scar at the corner of her left eyebrow that I had been meaning to ask her about. “Yes, I have,” I breathed.

  Jamie’s eyes followed mine to Charlie. “Please don’t say anything,” he pleaded one last time while she was still far enough away not to hear. I squeezed his hand as a way of reassuring him that he could trust me.

  Once she reached us, Charlie looked between Jamie and me, a confused smile on her face. “Sorry to interrupt. Jamie, they’re handing out the medals and Dad insisted that you not miss it.”

  “Thanks, Sis.” Jamie placed a light kiss on my cheek. “And thank you.”

  Charlie stared at me as he walked away. “Everything cool?”

  “All good,” I reassured her. I watched Jamie stand next to Devon to accept his medal. He puffed out his chest, as the medal was placed around his neck, and I could see exactly what he was doing. I turned back to Charlie. “Listen, I’m about to do a favor for your brother. I need you to know it means nothing and I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.” Charlie’s face showed a mixture of confusion and concern, but she still nodded her approval.

  I made a beeline to Jamie, only veering slightly to bump into Devon as I walked past him. I shoved myself between the two of them and threw my arms around Jamie’s neck. “I’m so proud of you, baby,” I squealed, pulling his face toward mine. “Just go with it,” I whispered before smacking my lips against his. I did my best to make the kiss look steamy without actually making out with him.

  When I pulled my face back, he wrapped me in a hug and spun us around. “Thank you,” he whispered into my neck. “Gross. But thank you.”

  When my feet were back on the ground, I turned my gaze to Devon, who was staring at me, mouth agape. “I’m sorry. Did you need something?” I quipped. “If you’re going to enjoy the show, you could at least pay.”

  “Oh. I’m… I wasn’t…”

  I laughed as Devon stumbled over his words and practically ran away from us.

  Jamie put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close. “You’re awesome. You know that, right?”

  Before I could answer, his family was bombarding him with more high fives and requests to see his medal. Realizing that they were all distracted, I slipped away and motioned for Charlie to follow me. I worried about how she would feel about that little display and wanted to do damage control if need be. I walked a few feet ahead of her, until we reached a little alley located between two large office buildings. I rested my back against the brick of the one building and was relieved when I felt Charlie’s hand slide into mine. I stood quietly, simply enjoying the feeling of her hand in mine, and waiting to see what she had to say.

  “So, I’d be lying if I said that kiss didn’t make me feel a little bit jealous.” Her words were honest, but playful, which was a relief.

  “I’m sorry. I wish I could explain, but…”

  Charlie released her hand from mine and turned so she was facing me, moving her hands so each of them were resting against the bricks on either side of me. The sight took me back to the day she almost kissed me in the dressing room, but the desire had only grown since then. “I’m not jealous because I actually think it meant anything to you. I’m jealous because it’s been way too long since those lips were on mine.”

  I slipped a hand over the collar of her T-shirt and pulled her closer to me. “How about we fix that right now?”

  I closed my eyes, expecting Charlie to close what little space remained between us, but to my surprise, she backed away. “I want to kiss you so bad right now. Trust me. But I’m going to need you to wipe your lips off, brush your teeth, and use some mouthwash. Right now, it would feel a little bit too much like I was kissing my own brother, and that’s just weird.”

  She slipped back out of the alley before I could even protest. I couldn’t blame her though. All of that sounded good to me right now, since I also felt like I had just kissed my brother.

  ***

  By the time family dinner started at the one fancy Italian restaurant in town, I had not only brushed my teeth and used mouthwash, but had also showered and changed into one of the two dresses that I owned. With all of the Fourth of July activities, Charlie and I had yet to get any alone time, and I wanted to give her a little preview of what she was missing out on. I could tell my plan had worked by the way her eyes scanned my whole body when I came downstairs after getting changed and how she made sure to get the seat beside mine as we sat down for dinner.

  “Quite the race today, huh?” Mr. Miller beamed at his son from across the table. “I was so proud of you for once again proving that you’re better than Devon Jones. I swear, I can still picture the smug look on his face in the photo of him signing his letter of intent for the university you should’ve been at.” He shook his head in disgust, as if the memory was hard for him to relive. “I’ll never understand why you decided to go to NYU rather than play football, but that kid got damn lucky. He never would’ve been recruited if you had gone there.”

  I squeezed Jamie’s knee to show my support and left it there when I felt his trembling hand land on top of mine. “Personally, I’m very happy that he ended up at NYU.” I did my best doting girlfriend impression and it must have worked because I could see all of the women at the table swooning as they looked between Jamie and I.

  I almost jumped at the sudden sensation of a hand resting on my own knee. I looked toward Charlie, but she was focused on her aunt who was now speaking, not in any way acknowledging the fact that her fingers were lightly dancing across my knee.

  “Right, Reagan?” The sound of my name leaving her aunt’s lips brought me back to the current moment, but I had no idea what had been said, my whole body laser focused on how good those fingers felt.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. I must have zoned out for a moment. Too much time in the sun today. What did you say?”

  “I was just saying how God always has a plan and the plans He has for us lead us exactly where we are supposed to be. Or, in your case, they led both of you to exactly who you were supposed to be with.” I considered her words. I had never been too sure about what I believed in exactly, but now she had me wondering if some cosmic powers had brought me here so Charlie and I could meet. Was that a crazy thought to be having only a week into hooking up? Well, yeah. It was batshit. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about it.

  What did stop me from thinking about it was the hand that was currently sliding underneath my dress. I took a big gulp of my water, worried I wouldn’t be able to form words with how my body was humming. “I couldn’t agree more,” I finally squeaked out.

  “Now, we just need God to put the plan into action that brings me some grandbabies,” Mrs. Miller added.

  Holy shit, this woman had a one-track mind. Holy shit, so did I. My mind was far from grandbabies though. It was still on the hand that continued to move higher. I watched a slight smirk form on Charlie’s face as my breathing picked up. I took another big sip of water. “Grandbabies. Yep. Yep. Totally a thing I want to get for you.”

  Jamie turned and looked at me as if I were crazy, while Mrs. Miller’s face took on a more concerned look. “Oh, dear, are you getting sick again? Your face is so flushed.”

  “N-No. I’m okay,” I stammered. “I think I might just be a little warm from getting burnt today.” If the feeling of Charlie’s hand on my thigh could be described as a little warm, the sensation of her fingers toying with the bottom of my underwear was a damn inferno. As soon as those fingers slid inside said underwear, I jumped to my feet. “On second thought, I think I might be feeling a bit si
ck. Excuse me for a moment.”

  I practically ran to the front of the restaurant and was relieved when I opened the door to the bathroom and found it was a private restroom. I turned the water to the coldest setting and splashed it onto my face, hoping it would relieve some of the heat coursing through my body. I was so turned on I could barely take it. I bent over the sink and began to laugh. Was I really hiding out in the bathroom of some subpar Italian restaurant after getting felt up by my “boyfriend’s” sister at a family dinner? If this was God’s plan, I needed to go to church more often. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a knock on the door. “Sorry. Coming,” I shouted to the impatient patron waiting on the other side.

  As soon as I opened the door, I was swiftly pushed back inside. “Coming already? I haven’t even gotten started with you yet.” Before I could respond, my back was pushed against the sink and Charlie’s mouth was on mine. I immediately deepened the kiss and was met with a moan that almost made me come undone. Much too soon, Charlie pulled away from me. “My mom told me to make sure you were okay, but I couldn’t stand the thought of going another minute without kissing you. But anyway, are you? Okay?”