Purrfect Roast: A Dragon Cozy Mystery

by Verena DeLuca

  Guess that settled the legalities of if we had to stay. Not that Azure would leave without a trophy.

  The officer turned to speak with Linda and the mic picked up what he asked, "Where were they taken from?"

  He handed the mic to his partner, who quickly found the off switch, and together they followed Linda to the room behind the red curtain.

  Good thing I was no longer back there. That would have been a hard one to explain. "Sorry officer. I swear I didn't take it. Only wanted to help solve the case. See, back in my small town I'm kind of known for solving these sorts of things."

  I laughed to myself. The ladies gave me uneasy looks.

  "The plan?" Skylar asked with a smirk.

  The tribe gathered in a closer huddle. Boundaries ladies, boundaries. I needed a good foot between me and anyone else to feel comfortable.

  "I can't believe we have to stay in the hotel longer," Tori whined, and Butter nodded his head along.

  Thankfully, Aubrey was not looking at the cat that was distinctly acting not cat-like. The other ladies nodded along with Tori. Convincing them to be positive about the investigation would not be an easy sell.

  "I get it," I said. "We all want to go home to our espresso machines."

  They all giggled, excluding Tori, who rolled her eyes.

  "But look at it this way, they aren't forcing us to stay in this ballroom while they conduct the interviews, so you get an extra day of vacation," I said, making it clear there was no time for whining. "Now that the contestants will be free to move around the hotel, it's important that we spread out."

  "And do what?" Tori asked. "We're not detectives."

  No way captain obvious. I internally rolled my eyes. Did she have to fight me every step of the way? At least they knew my plan.

  "No, but you're nice ladies who love cats. That's more than enough to speak with the fellow ladies here." I emphasized the last point to make it clear I was speaking about the fellow dragon protectors. The tribe looked confused for a second and then put two and two together as they looked at Aubrey and realized why I had to speak in code.

  "I want you all to spread out and see what you can learn," I said. "All the gossiping at our meetings for years has been training you for today. You are the best hope for solving this case!"

  They glowed with pride, and there was no reason for them to know I was blowing smoke. Goaled at keeping them occupied and out of the way. There was always a slight chance they would learn something helpful.

  "You handled that well," Azure transmitted. "I'm proud of you. You've learned to lead this tribe. Especially with low levels of coffee."

  Great. The Machiavellian dragon was complimenting me on my ability to lie to my tribe. This was going to be an excellent day.

  "Stop trying to butter me up," I transmitted. "I see through your honeyed words and it's not going to make me catch the culprit faster."

  He let out a sigh as Skylar squealed. Thankful for the distraction, I turned my attention to her.

  "They've opened all the exits," Skylar said. "I can almost taste the freedom!"

  "Should we head out?" Aubrey asked. She glanced around the room, and I hoped it was to take note of anyone rushing or acting suspicious.

  "No, let's wait for a few minutes," I said, and realized the tribe planned to wait with us. "The rest of you should go, let me know if you discover anything juicy."

  "I hope you know what you're doing," Tori said.

  I was thinking the same thing, not that I would tell her that, or anyone else. No. Best to pretend I knew what I was doing and hope no one figure out I was faking.

  Before the ladies followed the mass exodus, I remembered Aubrey's cat list and asked them to check in with her so she could write down their cats' breed and take a photo. I was surprised to not hear a single groan at the delay.

  Skylar stood with Aubrey while the ladies started to rattle off their details one by one, but I stayed seated to avoid looming over her fun.

  "This is Ash, he is a Siamese," Sofia said. "Say tuna, Ash."

  Click.

  "So cute! Love his coloring," Aubrey said.

  "Ember is a Bengal," Bethany said.

  "Oh my, that's a handsome boy," Aubrey squealed. "He looks just like a tiger!"

  Click.

  I shifted to get a better look at the line of cats from our tribe. It was weird, but I never paid attention to their coats before. Our tribe really did feature a larger variety of cat breeds.

  "Thank you, he really does. I love his coat." Bethany said.

  "Josiah is an American Short," Elizabeth said.

  Click. "

  Adorableness, thank you," Aubrey said.

  As Elizabeth caught up to Bethany, Skylar sat with me.

  "I can't believe they are playing along," she whispered.

  "This is Garth, he is a Maine Coon," Vera said.

  "Me either. I for sure thought some would walk out," I whispered back.

  I made a point to glance at Tori, though Skylar knew full well who I was thinking of.

  "Oh my! I had no idea cats could get so big!" Aubrey said, click. "He must eat you out of house and home!"

  "Oh yeah, he's got quite the appetite!" Vera laughed.

  Skylar giggled at my statement, causing the ladies to look at us. We cleared our throats and adjusted ourselves. I waved the ladies' glances off and the train of cats continued.

  "My little Patchwork is a Sphynx," Betty said.

  "Is it alright if I pet him?" Aubrey said.

  Click.

  "Go right ahead. Their lack of fur is a huge fascination to people, but they do actually have a bit of peach fuzz."

  "Oh, that's fascinating! I had no idea they'd be so smooth."

  "Butter is a Scottish Fold," Tori blurted without looking Aubrey in the face.

  Click.

  "So cute!" Aubrey said.

  The process of cataloging the breeds did not take long, so the room was still fairly full as our tribe departed.

  "That makes eight on my list. I wonder how many I can get to!" Aubrey said.

  "I think, if I remember correctly, there are some forty-ish breeds allowed to compete. Not to mention the household or unknown varieties that are here."

  "Oh wow, I had no idea there were so many breeds!" Aubrey said.

  She was genuinely shocked, which made me feel a bit better. I too had no idea there were so many breeds out there.

  I was just about to speak when Tori said, "Since I'm sure you're already looking to blame us, I just want you to know, it wasn't us."

  "Not everything is about you Tori, but if you're feeling that guilty about stuff you've done in the past maybe you should come to terms with it."

  Azure hopped down from the seat next to me and put his face up to Butter's. Tori and I froze, worried they would start a cat fight. The rules in the handbook were abundantly clear, any cat fights would cause both contestants to be disqualified and removed. How they would remove us today, no one knew, but I was sure they would lose any trophies they had won.

  I thanked my lucky beans that Aubrey and Skylar turned to watch the room to avoid the awkward fight Tori was angling to start.

  They separated and Butter lay down on the ground, looking away from the group, while Azure hopped into my lap.

  "He knows better," Azure transmitted. "Just needed a reminder as to why."

  "Whatever," Tori said. "I'm not feeling guilty in the slightest. I just knew you were going to blame us first."

  "Like I said, not everything is about you. We didn't actually think anyone in our group would stoop this low. But since you brought it up, did you do it?"

  Tori rolled her eyes. "No."

  "Didn't think so." I gave her a sweet-as-honey smile. "As the leader of this group, I'm going to give you some advice, get help. This attitude and constant negative air that surrounds you isn't healthy. I'm starting to think most of it isn't related to the group at all. Find a therapist by next month."

  Tori coated her makeup
on thick and it interfered with my ability to read her facial expressions. But it was obvious I struck a chord, her anger showed through loud and clear.

  "Yes," I continued. "This is an official order. You need to work this out, as it's affecting the entire group. Discover the answer regarding whether you actually want to be a member or not, because right now, with this attitude, you aren't being the member we need."

  "Yes, ma'am." Tori picked Butter up and strutted off.

  "Excellent use of your authority," Azure transmitted. "You're turning into a natural leader like myself. Tona must have seen this in you without you realizing it was there."

  I stood and shook the anxiety of the situation out of myself, as I cleared my throat to calm down. That woman knew exactly how to get me worked up. But I was serious. Her presence at the meetings fostered drama, not support. I was uncertain if I had the authority to exile her, but we would grind those beans when we got to them.

  "Thank you," I transmitted, unsure if he was still trying to butter me up or not.

  I took in another deep breath and let it go. The truth was, it felt great to scold her for acting like that. She needed to learn how to human.

  "Butter said they didn't do it," he transmitted, "and he currently doesn't know any drama that'll help find the culprit."

  "Well then," I said aloud. "I guess let's start at the beginning. Everyone is a suspect and we have to rule them out one by one."

  "Totally," Skylar said, giddy with excitement, while Aubrey nodded along, happy that her Sunday just got a lot more interesting.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Sunday, May 17th, 10:45 AM

  "Now that they're gone," Skylar said, "I can catch you up."

  "Oh, yeah," I said. "Almost forgot you were gathering intel."

  We sat back down to wait for the room to clear. I desperately needed rest and caffeine. I was sure my tone was showing it, but at least the girls would not hold it against me.

  "Yes, do tell, any leads?" Aubrey said. Her excitement over this case was my lifeline at this point.

  "You're never going to believe this," Skylar said with a laugh.

  "Oh?" Aubrey and I said in unison.

  "Did you know the Hill Country Aristocats are the best group here?" Skylar's words dripped with sarcasm. "They decided they're all going to take home gold."

  "What?" Aubrey asked. "A little pompous, are they?"

  "Yeah, what the tea," I said. "I hope they aren't presenting our group that way to the other competitors. There's no guarantee we will win."

  "I haven't heard them make any remarks in front of others," Skylar said. "But if I'm being honest, they are all meow and no claw."

  We laughed at her failed attempt to make a joke.

  "Either they were all just talking to hear their own voice, or they each think they are getting a gold medal."

  "Oh! I forgot. Amid the pandemonium this morning, Linda mentioned each participant would receive a gold star. Now everyone could feel like a winner," I said in a deadpan tone.

  At least with the amount of laughing we were doing, there was no way I could fall asleep.

  "No participation award for me please, just the first-place trophy," Azure transmitted.

  "You are just as bad as the ladies," I transmitted.

  "So, no leads then?" I asked.

  "Not at all," Skylar scoffed. "They just kept whining about wanting to get their trophies and go home."

  "Why would they want to leave all of this?" Aubrey spread her arms out. "I thought you said these women thrived on drama?"

  "Exactly," I said with a straight face. "Think of all the free entertainment that we'll see today."

  "Totally," Skylar said, still laughing. "Guess they only thrive on the drama of people they know personally."

  The room was mostly empty. Those who stayed seemed prepared to stay for a while. Why they wanted to, was a mystery to me. Under no circumstance was I going to stay any longer than I needed. Just wanted the room to clear out enough, so I could leave without being shoved into a crowd of people.

  Random bumps into me—no thank you!

  As we walked toward the front doors, I filled Skylar in on what I saw behind the curtain. Which was not much. But I was able to drive home Azure's idea of the culprit wanting to make a statement, not get rich. There were thousands of dollars in gift cards and prizes throughout the room, all untouched and accounted for since there were not any other empty spaces.

  "We should go see the vendors," Azure transmitted. "There might be gossip to hear."

  I transmitted an eye roll. He was not about to mask his real reason for being there behind the investigation.

  "Do you want to see the vendors?" I asked Aubrey. "There are only three, but we might overhear something of use."

  We had visited the Pure Balance cat food room every day. Each time Azure was just as excited as the first. I knew it was the fresh samples he was after, but I was not going to push it.

  "Sure."

  "I think Shadow wants to get his daily dose of salmon," Skylar said.

  Noted by the fact that they were now leading us toward the hall to the right of the ballroom. The lobby of the hotel was expansive and designed with large gatherings in mind.

  We walked with the cafe behind us, down a faux hall along the wall of the ballroom, while people mingled in a recessed seating area beside us. The area was twice as wide as the hall, with tables and chairs sprinkled throughout. The hotel featured a glass window front view that spanned two stories. It made the lobby feel much larger than it probably was.

  "Azure is so obsessed with salmon."

  "If I were a cat, I'd want to eat fish too," Aubrey said. "Dry cat food smells like moldy tea."

  "Totally," Skylar said. "I'm not a cat, and I like salmon."

  "Bluh, no thank you." I stuck out my tongue and snickered. "I'd rather drink day-old tea."

  "Oh my," Aubrey said. "I had no idea you hated fish that much."

  "It's mostly the smell," I said. "But the texture and flavor, ugh, salmon is one of the more potent ones I despise."

  "Regardless," Azure transmitted, while stopping to meow at us, "we should go as you don't have to eat the food."

  "We'll go." I reached down to scratch behind Azure's ears.

  "Oh, does the little fluff ball really want his salmon?" Aubrey asked in the voice people use when talking to cats and babies.

  "Yes," I said, realizing I'd slipped and spoken out loud rather than transmitting my thoughts. Today was going to be difficult. Having to solve a case with Azure's help, while not breaking into speech, would be rough. What would I do if he came up with the ideas? Pretend I just had an amazing breakthrough?

  "You can only take credit for my ideas, if you'll hurry and take me to salmon."

  I fought down a laugh and led the way.

  "This is so exciting," Aubrey said. "It's so neat that the three of us are solving a mystery together."

  "At this rate, you'll be able to open your own P.I. firm," I said.

  "Only if you're the Sherlock to my Watson," Aubrey said.

  "Always," I said.

  What else could I say, she put up with my coffee addiction, so I had to deal with her mystery obsession. At least for the most part, it stayed confined to discussing our latest mystery read, and not actual crime solving.

  "That would be hilarious," Skylar said. "This will make up for girls' night. Too bad Jess had to man the cafe."

  "I should call her again," I pondered aloud. "Make sure they are okay."

  "They are fine," Aubrey said. "Stopped by this morning before I headed into the city. Don't be a mother hen."

  "Fine, fine, I won't call," I said with a pout. "But if my baby is in flames when we get home, I'm blaming you."

  "Blame away, they know how to dial nine, one, one," Aubrey said.

  Halfway down the faux hall—toward the side rooms where the vendors were set up—was the lifesaver I had been looking for, a long table with fresh coffee and muffins. I skipped the
muffin and took two cups of coffee.

  "You need it that bad?" Aubrey asked.

  "Leave my addiction out of this," I said. "We're doing just fine together. The real problem is when people try to separate us."

  Skylar and Aubrey broke out in laughter before preparing their own cups. They might not be as addicted as me, but any self-respecting thirty-year-old woman who did not need a morning pick me up was not doing enough in their day. I once heard that the country ran on black gold, and I was pretty sure they were referring to coffee, not oil.

  "I had planned to visit some of the thrift shops near downtown to find a few decorations for the cafe," I said. "But now it looks like there won't be time."

  "So proud of you for tackling that space," Aubrey said. "I know it's rough, but I do think Tona would want you to make it your own."

  "Thanks." I blushed at the compliment. Healing from a parental loss was a messy business. "I'm not trying to paint over her memory or anything—"

  "Of course not!" Aubrey said.

  "It's just that I want the place to feel like home," I said. "I'm going to be running it for hopefully another fifty years. That's a long time to feel like I'm running her cafe, and not my own. Aunt Tona always had excellent taste, though. Everything I learned, I learned from her."

  "I love what you've done to the place," Skylar said. "It's totally cool, without being hipster."

  "Thank you." I beamed and took another drink from my cup to hide my huge smile. Whether from pride or the warmth of the cup of coffee was anyone's guess. I had been second-guessing every change since moving into the apartment above the cafe.

  I refilled the empty disposable cup, before proceeding to the vendor's room. I doubted Azure or Shadow could have waited another second. They both rubbed between our feet, letting us know their patience was running out.

  "Okay, okay," I said. "We only took a quick stop to fuel up. Let's go get you some salmon before you have a heart attack on me."

  Azure meowed, and Shadow joined in.

  Great. Maybe teaming up with Skylar would not be all I had hoped if it meant two whiny dragons.

  "I have never heard Azure be this vocal in all the years I've known him," Aubrey said.