Purrfect Roast: A Dragon Cozy Mystery

by Verena DeLuca

  "Doesn't say, so I assume not," I transmitted. "It just says that the hotel would like all cat show attendees checking out today to vacate the rooms no later than three thirty, thanks for the notice."

  I rolled my eyes at the time frame. At least we were able to get a shower in, but it would have been nice to find out earlier.

  "I assume they thought the case would be solved by now," Azure transmitted, interrupting my whiny thoughts.

  "I'm sure you're right, as usual, mister logical," I transmitted. "I just wanted to grumble a bit, okay?"

  "Then keep it to yourself," he transmitted.

  I stuck my tongue out to him mentally and started the process of packing our luggage. It was mostly Azure's items strewn about the room, but that was expected. The only times we were in the room this weekend was when we were sleeping or preparing to be judged. After I packed away everything, I laid on the bed and pet Azure's fluffy black coat. Even after months of living with him as a dragon, it still boggled my mind that his cat form was so believable. From petting to cuddling him in my arms, he was a cat through and through when glamoured.

  "If you were to die in cat form," I transmitted. "Would you automatically release the glamour? Our would it hold to those that weren't protectors?"

  "Why? What are you plotting?"

  "Nothing," I transmitted with an innocent smile as I continued to pet him. "Just curious."

  "Right, I believe you," he transmitted. "It is unlikely that a dragon would be in a situation that could cause their death while in cat form."

  "Don't make me ask Shadow," I transmitted. "Elaborate mister."

  As I said this, I walked over to the bed and scratched his ribs, causing him to stretch out from the pleasure. I sat down to continue showering him with pampering rubs in hopes it would loosen his tongue a bit.

  "I see your antics, but I still don't understand why all this is important to you," he transmitted then paused to enjoy the fact that I was scratching behind his ears now. After I moved back to petting his back he continued, "If you think about random ways that a cat could die, the most likely scenario would be by a car, right?"

  "Sure, I guess I'll agree with that."

  "Thank you for suspending your disbelief for a second, in this hypothetical situation you requested me to create. I realize cats are more likely to die in airplane accidents, but I digress." He rolled his eyes and continued before I could respond. "In the event that we happen to get run over by a car, our glamour would hold, as the car wouldn't kill us. While we look and feel like cats, our body is still full-dragon, so our scales would protect our vital organs. After the car left the scene, we'd be able to shake off the shock of just being hit by a car and go about our day."

  "Fascinating," I transmitted. "But that still doesn't answer my question. What if, say, someone chopped off your head while you were in cat form?"

  "Morbid idea," he transmitted.

  "No, it's just the only thing I could think of that your dragon self wouldn't be able to be safe from. I assumed a bullet or poison would have the same effect as the car."

  "Touche," he transmitted, and let out an enormous yawn. "In the event that they detached our cat head from our cat body, our magic would make a last-ditch effort to preserve our glamour and solidify us in cat form. If our tribe was able to recover our body, they would be able to get us underground where an elder could reverse the glamour and give us the proper burial."

  "Hmm," I transmitted. "Figured it was something like that."

  I shrugged and stood up from the bed to continue packing.

  "Then why did you even ask?!" he transmitted in a huff. "This is why talking out all the trivial aspects of dragon life is pointless. It's usually the most logical theory."

  "Still fun to discuss though and hear it straight from you. I don't get why you are so against discussing dragon stuff."

  Instead of answering, he grumbled and curled back up into a tight ball. I walked over to him and scratched behind his ears and under his chin coaxing him out of his grump.

  "I'm not trying to make you mad, just curious is all."

  "I know," he transmitted. "It's just too fresh still. I've already had all these conversations with an eager protector. Having to do it all again brings back too many memories."

  "I get that," I transmitted. "But what else would you have me do? Should I just pretend like I don't want to know, just treat you like a cat and ignore the fact that there is an entire world out there waiting for me to discover it? If that's what you want, then you should just permanently be a cat, and stop requiring protectors to attend meetings. The other dragons can fly to the cafe in their bat form. Because—"

  "You've made your point," he transmitted.

  "Have I?" I transmitted. "For as much as I love your cat form, I want to learn even more about your dragon life."

  "I know this isn't the first time that I told you I would work on being less closed off," Azure transmitted. "And I know that I am failing at giving you the proper protector training. I just need time to work through my grief."

  "I'm not saying you shouldn't take the time you need to grieve but have you ever thought about reaching out to your tribe mates for advice?" I transmitted as I sat back down on the bed. "Or, if you don't want to smudge the leader line, what about another tribe leader?"

  "The tribe leaders don't discuss emotions."

  "Maybe they should," I transmitted. "Someone once told me that a tribe is only as strong as its leader. If you need help, ask for it. Be the change you want to see in the tribe system."

  Azure crawled into my lap and snuggled his face into my belly. His purrs grew louder as I pet him. I never meant to upset him, but at the same time, I wanted him to understand he had a support system. He did not need to try to tackle his grief alone. Not that I was one to talk, it was a rare day for me to reach out to my friends for help, even on my hardest days.

  Our grief stemmed from two vastly different places. Tona was a parent to me, but a mate to him and that made for a far larger void. I wished for a way to take the pain from him, but so far all I could think of to help was to reassure him I was not going anywhere and would wait for the answers to my million questions, no matter how long it took. But I knew he could not let this fester. It would just lead to turmoil for everyone in the tribe.

  There was a knock on the door, so I forced myself to slide out from under Azure's sleeping form. I went to the peep hole to see who it was. It was Skylar holding shadow, her hair still a bit wet and up in a bun.

  I opened the door and asked, "Do you feel better?"

  "Totally," Skylar said. "As soon as that hot water hit my shoulders, I felt the stress of the day melt away."

  "I know exactly what you mean." I stepped aside for her to come in. "Aubrey is still in the shower, she should be out in just a minute."

  As I finished speaking, the sound of the shower stopped.

  "I guess you got the memo too?" I asked, noticing she had her luggage with her.

  "Oh yeah," she said, and rolled her eyes. "They could have at least given us a heads up."

  "Right?" I said. "As soon as Aubrey is done, we can head to the cars."

  "I'll be right out," Aubrey called out.

  "Take your time," I said as I finished packing the last few things into our suitcase. "Skylar and I are in no hurry."

  "I wonder if they found the trophies, or are just needing the rooms," Skylar said.

  "I figure they just need the rooms. Though maybe we'll get lucky and walk in on the ceremony."

  "Doubt that," Skylar said.

  Aubrey cracked the door open just wide enough to stick her head out. "Hey Skylar." Before shutting the door to finish getting ready. To which Skylar waved from the desk chair she took up residence in.

  As I set our luggage down next to Skylar's I heard a commotion behind me. Thinking Azure sat on the remote I turned to find the cats wrestling on the bed.

  "What are you two doing?" I transmitted to Azure.

  "Just pas
sing the time," Azure transmitted.

  Shadow pulled off a flip with his back legs that put Azure on his back and pinned him to the bed.

  "Looks like you have your paws full," I transmitted.

  "I let him do that," Azure transmitted.

  The next moment Azure managed to flip Shadow onto his back and pinned him.

  Skylar and I sat quietly watching the fight, while Aubrey got ready in the bathroom. After five or ten minutes of cat wrestling, Aubrey came out fidgeting with her hair. It was a rare day to see it in a messy bun. I giggled at the idea of her slumming it.

  "I almost thought about blow drying it again," Aubrey said, knowing full well why I was giggling at her. "But I talked myself out of it. No reason to waste more time up here in the room when we have a case to solve."

  "Totally," Skylar said. "You look fine, don't worry about it."

  "Thank you." Aubrey blushed and touched the bun again.

  "What should we do with the rest of our afternoon?" I asked.

  "The other vendors," Aubrey suggested.

  "Sounds good to me," Skylar said.

  * * *

  "Our cat obstacle courses provide the perfect level of stimulation to keep your cats young," the salesperson said, pointing to the display behind him.

  Why anyone would want a cat tree the size of an entertainment center I would never know. The carpet runways to go along the upper walls of the house made sense though. Azure was not a cat, but even he would enjoy having places to perch. I could almost see him sitting at the top of the living room staring down at me while I read a book.

  "Ten percent discount, free shipping, and free setup for the first five people who sign up," the salesperson said as he finished his presentation.

  "What do you think?" Skylar asked me.

  "I think Azure would look super cute perched at the top of my living room, but I don't know about the price."

  "Totally," Skylar said. "I know Shadow would love being able to walk around the house without touching the floor. If I didn't know better, I'd say he thought the floor was lava." She looked at Aubrey and then back to me before continuing, "I agree about the price though. Even with a 10% discount that's more than I've spent furnishing my living room."

  "I know what you mean," Aubrey said. "We remodeled the house when Madison was born, and it didn't cost us half as much as they're charging for the full house set up."

  "Yeah," I said as I set down the pamphlet the salesperson had handed out. "But I imagine a lot of ladies here are going to spend a pretty penny to take care of their kitties."

  "I think some of the ladies here might take care of their kitties better than I take care of my children," Aubrey said laughing.

  Skylar and I laughed a bit harder than we should have, but Aubrey had no idea how expensive our dragons could be. They truly ate us out of house and home.

  "Kidding of course," Aubrey said. "But they probably do spend more."

  "They totally spend more than they should," Skylar said. "I mean at the end of the day, they're only cats, and it's not as if they are going to really know the difference."

  "To each their own," I said, giving Skylar a look that said now was not the time to discuss cats vs dragons. "I bet Frank could build it for an eighth of the price."

  We walked away as the salesperson pushed the other ladies to spend their hard-earned money on overpriced cat obstacle courses.

  "If you talk to him about it, tell him I'm interested too," Skylar said.

  "Maybe I should have him build a course for my kids too?" Aubrey said.

  We all laughed, but in reality it was not a bad idea. I would have loved an obstacle course as a child.

  They had set this vendor room up in much the same manner as the food vendor, with a long table along the back for customers to place orders and interactive displays in the middle of the room for the cats to play on.

  Attendees entered the room, hugging the left wall as they admired posters of products. Once they reached the table, the first salesperson gave his pitch to groups of about ten, then shuffled the buyers forward to the next salesperson at the opposite end of the table. Non-buyers exited the line at the middle of the table to look over the displays.

  We exited the line as soon as we could to avoid being sucked into another sales pitch. Azure and Shadow were already ten steps ahead of us, as they chased each other around the displays. I led the girls to a spot out of the flow of traffic to watch the cats play.

  "The more I've thought about it, the more I think those ladies from San Marcos look guilty," I said.

  "For real," Aubrey said. "We have no way of really knowing if they were sleeping, and even if they knew they weren't going to win, it seems odd for them to miss the ceremonies."

  "Totally," Skylar said. "Of all the people we've looked into, they have the best opportunity. If they were missing all morning, they would have had plenty of time to steal the trophies. They really could have been sleeping, if they snuck down to steal the trophies and then went back up to nap."

  "That's a good point," I said. "So, in that way, they could be telling the truth, just not the whole truth. Maybe we could speak to housekeeping, and see if they saw anything?"

  "I don't think they would have been here that early," Aubrey said.

  "You're probably right," I said. "Besides, I'm sure the police will speak with them, and the last thing I want is to make myself look like a suspect to them."

  "Exactly," Aubrey said.

  A salesperson behind the counter dropped a jar, causing me to yelp. When it hit the ground, the lid popped off and the smell of Catnip permeated the room. As soon as the smell hit us, Skylar and I rushed forward to pick up Azure and Shadow. Dragons or not, the alluring smell would still seduce them. Azure squirmed in my arms as I looked around at the chaos.

  In an instant, every cat in the room rushed over to the pile of green flakes and began rolling around in it. The salesperson attempted to pick up the open jar, but a cat head-butted his arm causing him to dump the remaining contents onto the mound of cats. The jar looked to be about the size of an economy size peanut butter container. There was no hope for cleaning that up any time soon. Hopefully, they knew the trick about cats and vacuums.

  While many of the ladies were yelling out their cat's names, telling them to stop, the salespeople stood in a stunned stupor. I could not help but laugh at the way they froze and watched the mess unravel.

  The three of us stayed put as well, I was not sure if we should flee or try and help. But as the rolling cats turned into feisty cats, a full-blown cat brawl broke out. In the time it took me to realize we needed to get out of there, the sound of cat hissing had drawn the attention of cats outside of the room, who began to file into the room to get their own turn to roll in the catnip. This was not going to end well.

  "We should go," I said while snickering at the chaos.

  Careful not to trip on a cat, or get scratched, we squeezed ourselves out of the room. Skylar and I held Azure and Shadow until we were back out in the lobby just to be sure they would not flee.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Sunday, May 17th, 3:45 PM

  With the cafe the quietest it had been all weekend, I set it as my mental destination. Anywhere that was not in the middle of the cat crazed nonsense happening around the Cat's Play vendor room would have worked, but the cafe had the bonus of serving coffee all day.

  By the time we cleared the doorway and entered the hall, most of the cats in the lobby had raced to the commotion trying to get their turn at the catnip. I could not help but giggle at the owners while we tiptoed through the sea of cats to avoid stepping on any little toes. They fell into three categories: the few that picked their cats up the moment they heard a ruckus, the many that were trying to keep up with their pets as they attempted to squeeze into the room, or the owners that had no idea what was happening but felt yelling their cat's name and standing in place was the best course of action. This left the lobby mostly empty, but still loud, due to the o
pen layout.

  "Am I going to be able to put you down once we get to the cafe?" I transmitted to Azure.

  "It would be great if you put me down now." he transmitted and tried to wiggle his way out of my arms as he said it. "I have legs, you know."

  "You do?" I transmitted in a deadpan tone. "I had no idea. Why am I always carrying you then?"

  "Less sass," he transmitted. "More action. Put me down."

  "No," I transmitted as I readjusted him in my arms to cradle him like a baby. "If you want to get high on catnip at home, that's your prerogative, but I'm not going to let you make a fool of yourself here."

  "I am ordering you to put me down," he transmitted, and meowed aloud to push the issue.

  "I am overriding that order because you are not in your right state of mind," I transmitted.

  "I need to go back, just put me down," he transmitted. "I can still smell the intoxicating allure. I want to feel it all over my fur. Let me drown my sorrows of this whole trophy nonsense in the ecstasy that is catnip. Please put me down."

  "I knew there was a reason to keep your leash with me," I transmitted.

  "No," Azure transmitted.

  "Maybe we should head to the car and get the leashes?" I said aloud.

  Skylar must have been having the same conversation with Shadow as she too was working to keep him in her arms.

  "Totally," she said.

  "Shadow and I will be having words with you two when this is over," Azure transmitted.

  "I'm shaking with fear," I transmitted and rolled my eyes.

  What was he going to do, fire me?

  We continued to wait our turn in the hall, having to push past the mess of adults, leashes, and cats. I thanked my lucky stars to see Aubrey working to make a path in front of us. She was able to use her free hands to part the seas. It was nice having one person without a pet in tow to lead the way. I felt for the ladies stuck at the back wall of the vendor room. They would not get out of there any time soon.

  As we cleared the hall area, I looked up to have the unfortunate experience of making eye contact with the officers investigating the theft. They looked at each other and conversed for a few seconds before pointing at us and heading our direction.