Something Missing (The True Love Series Book 1)

by Hazel Robinson

  “Please, just give me five minutes... please. Just listen to what I have to say and then I will leave you alone.” Her eyes said nothing, they were just a blank canvas with no emotion.

  Susan stood for a moment examining him carefully. “Okay, you have five minutes and then you leave, Max. After that I don’t want to see you again, do you understand?”

  She turned to Beth and Polly who stood side by side. “I need to speak to him... alone.” Polly looked at her and shrugged, “Okay, it’s your call.”

  Susan turned and unlocked the door and Max followed behind her. “We’ll be five minutes?” She shut the door behind and left Beth and Polly to sit in the car.

  “You look like you need a coffee – maybe two or three!” She headed into the kitchen and Max followed behind her like a lost sheep in a strange land.

  “Please can we just sit and talk for a minute?” his voice was shaky and husky.

  She slammed the cups onto the kitchen counter. “Well? I’m listening, Max. Talk!” Max sat, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Where do I start? I’ve gone over so many times what I wanted to say to you and now...”

  “Just say what you have to say, Max, none of it is going to change my mind.” She sharply cut him off mid-sentence.

  “What has happened to you, Susan? When did you become so cold, so emotionless?” his eyes studied her.

  “The day I found you kissing her! That’s when Max.”

  His head fell into his hands. “Nothing happened with her. Why won’t you believe me? I wouldn’t... couldn’t ever look at another woman. I love you.” He cleared his throat and sucked in the air. “She came to make trouble and she’s succeeded. She wanted this to happen to us, Susan – she planned for this kind of carnage; it’s what she does, she destroys me.”

  “What do I have to do to make you see that there’s no one else but you? I can’t eat or sleep, I can’t concentrate on anything. I need you! I need our baby!” He begged.

  “Babies!” her hand rested on her stomach and her eyes locked onto his. “It’s twins, Max!”

  The color drained from his face – he had missed so much. “How? When did you find out...?” His hand stretched across the table to try and touch hers. “Please, baby.”

  Quickly, she pulled her hand away before he could touch it, one touch and that would be it. “Your five minutes are up, Max, it’s time for you to go.” She stood up signaling for him to leave.

  “Just wait a minute,” he grabbed hold of her wrist so tight that she could feel her heart rate increase.

  “Max! Let go!” She tried to pull free. The butterflies danced at his touch. If she didn’t get him out her feelings for him would return.

  His grip loosened slightly.

  “Max, we were a train wreck right from the start – we were destined to destroy one another. It’s not going to work.” She threw her hands up in the air and yanked herself from his grip.

  “How can you say that? When you needed me, I was always there – I still would be if you let me. I promise you that we can make this work, Susan… if you give it a chance.”

  Susan shook her head, but Max hadn’t finished, he still had the killer blow,

  “You cheated on me and I forgave you... I did that because I love you. All I have ever done is love you.”

  Susan stood in front of the window looking out across the garden. “You don’t see how it felt to stand there and watch your lips on another women, to watch your eyes sparkle for someone else.”

  “No? You want to know how I felt when I read your diary and discovered you’d spread your legs for a bloke you didn’t even know the name of? It made me sick! Sick to the pit of my stomach.”

  Susan’s hand came into sharp contact with his face. Her slap was hard and fast. “You bastard!” Her hand swung again. But this time he stopped it, grabbing her wrist with one hand and with the other, he pushed the hair off her face tenderly.

  “I’m sorry. That was unforgiveable.” His hand caressed the side of her cheek. The damned butterflies sang sweet love songs to him, pleading with him to touch her some more.

  She turned her head away from him as a tear rolled down her face. “It’s too late, Max, I have nothing left to give you.”

  Max moved closer to her, his lips touching her ear. “Please, for the sake of our babies.” His hand rested on her belly. She nearly exploded with the feel of his fingers tracing tenderly over her stomach.

  She turned and was nose to nose with him. The growing need to kiss him moved deep. “It’s for them I have to say no, Max!” His lips touched hers softly. The kiss was electrifying; ripples of energy spread through her body. For a moment she pulled away, but the connection was too strong, and the butterflies had won. Her hands ran through his knotted hair, pulling him further into her, his mouth melting with hers. She lost all her senses.

  He held either side of her face in his hands. “Let me love you again, please. Just let me be yours.”

  Susan fell to reality hard and fast. How could she let him kiss her? “Please leave - Now!” She shifted away from him and pointed towards the door.

  “Come on, Susan. I know you felt it. We have a connection that runs deep.” It was too late there was nothing he could say to her to change her mind. He dipped his head and left out the door.

  CHAPTER 16

  “Hey, how are you feeling?” Polly’s hand rested on Susan’s shoulder; there was sympathy in her eyes. Susan hadn’t said much in the three days since they came home and found Max sat on the doorstep. She hadn’t felt anything since the butterflies were awoken by his touch.

  Although Susan had not revealed what happened between them, Polly could see it in Susan’s eyes that more had happened – whatever it was it had left its mark.

  Susan turned. “Polly, I’m fine, really. You can stop asking me.” She played around with the water in the sink, pretending to be busy. “I’m just… I almost believed him.

  Do you think I got it wrong?”

  Polly shrugged. “You have been so strong these last few weeks, stronger than I have ever seen you before – you have to make your choices, Susan.”

  “I think I need to get away from this place – and from him. I need to get away from the memories.”

  Polly pulled the chair closer to her. “Well let’s get away for a bit, just me and you, before these two come along and cause havoc.” Polly’s hand rested on Susan’s stomach.

  “No, Polly, I don’t mean a break, I mean for good. I’ve decided to sell the house.” This spur of the moment decision had lifted a weight off her shoulders, and it felt good to take control once again.

  Polly sat silent for a moment, thinking of how to respond. She’d become fond of this place and had made roots for herself here. It was just like Susan to spin everybody’s world around and expect them all to stand firm. Although she loved Susan deeply, she also thought she could be a completely selfish bitch sometimes.

  “Just like that, you want to leave. What about Beth?”

  Susan stood and walked around the kitchen, her hand stroking the kitchen counter in agitation. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought any of it through. I just think I need a fresh start.”

  More like running away, Polly thought.

  “It’s not going to really work with him living so close. I’m never going to be rid of the feelings when I know he’s so close. I’m not saying that I’m going to miles away, I still want them to know their daddy and their grandma, I’m just saying this house, this stuff it’s not... it’s just stuff.”

  Polly sat shaking her head. “I think you need to sleep on this, really think it through before you make any rash decisions – these choices aren’t just about you.” “I don’t think sleep will change my mind.” Susan said.

  “What really happened the other day when you let him in, honey? You were doing fine until then.”

  "I... I don’t know, he kissed me... I kissed him. It was instant between us, one minute we were talking, arguing, and for a split s
econd nothing else mattered... the moment his lips touched mine, I lost myself.” She paused through the sobs of tears that caught her breath. “What am I doing, Poll?”

  Polly didn’t have the answer. “I can’t tell you what you need to do, you need to make this decision for yourself; you either follow your heart and take him back for the man he is, or you leave, move away, but if you do move, you must never look back, never doubt your decision, never think of him again – it’s the only way you can truly be happy.”

  Susan smiled at her. She had a pounding headache and she rubbed the bridge of her nose between her fingers.

  “Are you okay?” Polly asked.

  “Yeah, I just need to go and have a lie down – do you mind?”

  “No, head up and I’ll bring you a cup of tea in about an hour or two.”

  Susan stumbled and grabbed the table to steady herself. She picked up the laptop on her way out of the room.

  When she reached her room, she pulled herself under the cover she turned the laptop on. She found what she was looking for in no time – a hotel... perfect for a few days away from everyone. She followed the booking instructions online and booked in. She packed an overnight bag with a few clothes, enough to last at least a week. She had no idea how long she would be there, but a week sounded long enough to finally decide what to do.

  Once packed, Susan sighed with relief and tucked herself under the cover trying to fall into the world of sleep.

  When Susan opened her eyes, the light from the morning sun appeared through the gaps in the blinds. She pulled herself from the bed and tiptoed to the bathroom, grabbing a few last-minute bits that might be needed. Polly was still asleep, it was too early for her to be up. Confident she wouldn’t be caught, she crept off to her room and grabbed the bag from under her bed. She looked at her watch and waited for the taxi by the door.

  The note explaining that she had gone away for a few days was propped up against the kettle.

  Her mobile beeped, indicating a text from the taxi guy. She grabbed her bag, taking one last look behind her and breathing in every essence that filled the room; the heartache, the laughter and the dreams – she filled her lungs with them all before turning and leaving.

  Max sat up in his bed; inside he was an empty space that would never be filled again. He hadn’t been in touch with Susan since their kiss. He hated himself for pushing her to that point, but he had tried to make her see that they were both nothing without each other. He wanted her to know that he only had eyes for her – that no one would ever take her place. Half asleep, he took himself downstairs. For some reason he felt edgy, as if a terrible storm was about to break. He tried to ignore the feeling and headed into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a nice cold beer. That was his only comfort these days. He pulled the cap of the top of the bottle and headed outside to sit on the back step. His thoughts turned to the day of the BBQ.

  ‘Just one more try,’ he thought to himself. Leaving the beer bottle on the step, he pulled himself up and down the garden and heading for the only place his heart rested, the only place he knew he would find her.

  When he got to the beach, his heart skipped a beat as in the distance, close to the roaring waves, he caught glimpse of a shadow. “Go to her,” the voice inside him whispered. His feet moved on their own. It was only as the sand coiled itself around his bare feet, that he realized he had forgotten to put anything on his feet. Max didn’t care, he would walk naked if it meant that she would be here. His heart quickened as his feet took him closer and closer to the figure hugging herself on the beach. Closing his eyes, he let his body carry him the rest of the way. His lips were dry up from the anticipation. Would she open her arms and let him in? All he knew was this time he would never let her go. He needed her too much.

  When he came within touching distance of the figure, he fell to his knees. Slowly he flickered his eyes open, only to shut them again. His hands pounded fist down onto the sand.

  “NO!” he screamed. There was no figure, it had been a trick of his mind. She hadn’t been waiting for him. Emptiness filled his soul, he would never be complete again; he would never know what it felt to feel love again. He sat for hours before pulling himself to his feet and forcing himself to leave. He promised himself that he would never come back again... ever.

  When he reached the gate to the back garden of his mum’s, he saw Polly standing at the back door.

  “What are you doing here?” he hissed at her. “Has she sent you to give me more instructions about staying away from her?” He was beginning to get irritated by Polly’s well-meaning interference.

  Polly crossed her arms over her chest, she look worried. “Max I’ve come to ask for your help. She left this for me this morning.” Polly passed him the letter. He took a moment to read it, his eyes scanning over the part about him over and over again. “She’s gone! Gone where?”

  “That’s just it, Max, I have no idea. She didn’t give any indication that she was leaving, and I don’t know if she is coming back. She spoke about...” Polly paused, thinking for a moment about how much she should tell him. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. “She spoke about you last night. She really spoke from the depth of her heart and when you… when you kissed her, you brought everything back to her. She is very confused about what she wants.”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what you want me to do Polly. She made it very clear that I am nothing to her anymore. She told me she felt nothing for me.” His fingers trained down his face. “I can’t help you, I’m sorry, Polly. Now if you don’t mind, I need to get ready for work.”

  “Now you listen to me!” Polly’s said sternly, her anger rising, “I’m not going to say I understand it, Max, but she feels everything for you. It’s as if all her emotions are somehow tied to you; hate, love, anger, passion. She has been like a robot since you left. Ask your mum, Susan has shown hardly any emotion unless it was to do with you. She does loves you, Max – don’t doubt that for a second.”

  Max slammed his against the door. “Then why is she doing this to me? If she feels the way you say she does, then why does she keep breaking me down this way?”

  Hearing the commotion, Beth opened the door and seeing Polly she looked concerned.

  “Is everything alright – are Susan and the babies alright?”

  Polly shook her head. “No, Beth, sorry everything isn’t alright.”

  Beth’s hand flew to her mouth, “What’s happened?”

  “Susan has left.”

  “Left?”

  Polly nodded, “I’m afraid so.”

  “But the babies are okay?”

  “They’re fine.”

  “Thank goodness for that.”

  “I’m here to tell Max that he has to do something.” “Of course, he does,” Beth agreed.

  Beth’s hand rested on his shoulder, “Max, if you don’t do something soon to get her back then you will lose her forever. You need to find her and remind her of the love you share with each other.”

  Max sighed heavily. “But how do I do that when we don’t know where she is?” An idea suddenly grabbed him. He turned to Polly and asked, “Where is her laptop?” “It’s at home, why?” Polly asked.

  “I know one way we can try and find out where she is – through her browsing history. Come on!” He stood by Polly’s car waiting for her to unlock the door. His hand shook as he gripped the handle.

  As the car pulled up the drive to Susan’s house, his heart stopped, remembering the last time he stepped into the house. He had been angry with himself for the why he had acted; the way he had lost his cool with her. Standing in the hall, he asked Polly to retrieve Susan’s laptop; he was sure he’d find something on there that would indicate where she had gone. Polly rushed up the stairs as Max made his way to the living room. He stood in front of the window. His chest ached at the view; memories were attached to that view. Now they burned deep inside him like a dagger stabbing him over and over again.


  “I found it.” Polly broke his thoughts as she came rushing in the room holding the laptop in her arms. “I’ll go and make us a drink.” She left it resting on the table and went into the kitchen. Max sat rubbing his hands together waiting for it to load up. It didn’t take long to access her history, scroll down it and find the name of a travel site.

  “Bingo!” he chuckled to himself. “I knew she wouldn’t have deleted her history.”

  “What have you found?” Polly called through from the kitchen.

  “Online booking form.”

  Polly came to his side and handed him the cup of coffee. She looked over his shoulder at the screen, taking all the details in. “That’s not that far away. You can be there in an hour, Max!” Her face slightly brightened.

  “Whoa! What makes you think I’m going to go and chase after her... she went because she needs time and that’s what I’m going to give her.” Max shocked himself at the words he spoke – at one time he would have been on his bike right away, rushing towards her with the hope of holding her again.

  Polly flipped her head to him. “Max, you need to go to her and make her see sense; yes, she went to make her mind up, but you need to help her do that, because if you don’t, she will leave and never come back. She has already spoken about selling this place and moving away. You have to make her see.”

  “She wants to sell this place!” She wouldn’t, this is her home! This is her safe house, where she found herself – she would never sell it. Never!”

  Polly took another sip of her coffee. “No, Max, you don’t understand – this was your home together and she will never be happy here without you. You must see that she would rather sell the last happy memory she has than be here without you. Doesn’t that tell you that she is torn between her heart and her head?”

  Max’s breath fell heavy and sharp, the empty spaces filled his head. Once more, his fingers rubbed against his temple as he tried to decide what to do. His eyes travelled around the room. “Fuck it! I can’t lose any more than what I’ve lost already.” His feet moved quickly as he set off out of the door. He had to pick up his bike first and then he could get on his way to bring back the women that held his heart in her hands.