Christmas with a Cowboy

by Brown, Carolyn

  “Hi?” Dev might as well have asked why the hell he was sitting down. It wasn’t like they’d ever shared breakfast.

  He decided to get right to it. “Do you know what happened to Kenna Hart’s car?”

  The deputy mopped his mouth with a napkin before tossing it on his plate. “Sure,” he said, all laid back. “Hank had it towed.”

  Shit. That’s what he’d been afraid of. “Why?”

  “Because it was parked in front of the town hall past ten,” Hank yelled over from the other side of the room.

  Tucker should’ve known. The mayor of Topaz Falls was always listening.

  “It says nice and clear on the sign no parking between ten p.m. and six a.m. I checked at five this morning and her car was still there.”

  That was all it took to draw interested stares from the other patrons.

  That bad feeling gouged a good-sized hole in Tucker’s gut. Uh-oh.

  “I tried to call her a few times after Hank called me,” Dev said. “But it went straight to voice mail. To be honest, I got worried and drove by her house, but she didn’t answer the door.”

  “Well, are we sure she’s all right?” Betty Osterman, aka the town gossip, asked from a nearby booth. “Maybe she’s in trouble. Maybe she’s been abducted as a sex slave!”

  Tucker gripped his forehead and squeezed.

  “Nah.” Dev waved off the worry. “When Kenna didn’t answer the door, I called up Everly since they’re close, and she told me she thought Kenna might be on a date.”

  “A date? All night?” Betty demanded.

  Murmurs went around the room.

  If Tucker could’ve slipped out unnoticed, he would have. What was he supposed to do here? Things were getting way out of hand. Kenna obviously didn’t want anyone to know about their fling, but now the whole town would definitely hear by noon.

  “Tucker!” Everly hurried over to their table. “I’m surprised to see you here.” Her wide eyes probed him for information. After glancing around, she leaned closer. “I thought Kenna was with you,” she whispered.

  Dev did a double take. “She was on a date with you all night?”

  Tucker gave them both a look meant to shut them up. “Kenna’s fine,” he said evenly. “There’s nothing to worry about.” Well, nothing for them to worry about. He had plenty to worry about. All those people staring, still trying to eavesdrop, for example. “So where’s her car?” He slid out of the booth, ready to make a fast exit.

  “County impound lot.” At least the deputy had the decency to look remorseful. “If I’d known she was with you, I would’ve called your cell.”

  “Keep. It. Down.” He didn’t know why he said it. It was too late. Everyone had already heard. It was too late for damage control now.

  “Did you guys have fun?” Everly whispered with a smile.

  Like he was going to share that with twenty of his closest neighbors. “Where are the boys?” he asked instead.

  “They’re out feeding the goats and chickens with Mateo.”

  “Can they hang out here a little longer?”

  “Of course.” Her eyebrows bounced teasingly. “They can stay as long as you guys need them to.”

  He ignored the innuendo and started for the door. “She’ll be back to pick them up in a couple of hours,” he muttered to Everly. Under the watchful eyes of everyone in the room, he booked it back outside.

  “Well? Did he know where my car was?” Kenna asked the second he climbed back into the truck.

  “Yeah.” He clicked in his seat belt and opted not to look at her directly. “Apparently Hank noticed your car this morning and had it towed.”

  “Oh Lord.” Her hands went straight to her face. “Now everyone’ll find out! Everyone will know we spent a night together.”

  A night? So that was it? One night with Kenna and it was over? The unease that had sat with him all morning turned rock solid in his gut. “You sure didn’t seem worried about that last night,” he said, staring straight ahead. In fact, she hadn’t worried about anything last night. She’d been open and relaxed and happy. Or so he’d thought.

  “No. I wasn’t worried. Because no one knew. But what are people going to think now? I’m a mom, Tucker. I have two little boys. Responsibilities. Commitments. And you’re—” She stopped suddenly.

  “I’m what?” His throat had gotten raw. Something told him he didn’t want to hear the end of that sentence.

  “Well, you know.”

  No, actually, he didn’t. Not anymore. Last week he would’ve said he was happy with his life the way it was, but Kenna had gotten to him. Somehow she’d made him feel like he needed more.

  He let her sit in the uncomfortable silence, waiting to hear her give him any indication that she felt as conflicted as he did about their arrangement.

  She sighed. “You’re a great guy, but it’s not like this can go anywhere.”

  And there was his answer.

  Chapter Ten

  Tucker was rarely late anywhere. In fact, he usually preferred to be at least ten minutes early anywhere he went, but tonight he was taking his sweet time to get to the rehearsal. He pulled into the hospital parking lot figuring a few more minutes wouldn’t matter.

  Kenna could handle things at the rehearsal until he got there, and if he was being honest, he wasn’t sure he could handle seeing her. The last few days had been fine because he hadn’t seen her, hadn’t heard from her, had done his damnedest to not think about her. But he already knew it hadn’t been long enough for the sting of her rejection to wear off, and once he saw her it wouldn’t be so easy to ignore. So instead of going to face her, here he was at the hospital. He’d been by earlier that morning but his mom had asked him to go take care of some things at her house, which had inevitably turned into taking care of a whole lot of things at her house, which was how he’d lost track of time.

  He climbed out of his truck and followed the familiar path through the main entrance and up the elevator. A couple of the nurses waved at him as he strode down the hall, and he stopped to thank them for all they’d done for his mom. With any luck she’d be released in a few days. The nurses had been so good to Birdie, and he wanted them to know it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  And here he was procrastinating again. Tucker bid the nurses goodbye and glanced at his watch. At this point, he was more than a little late for the rehearsal, so he’d have to make the visit with his mom quick. He rushed down the hall without stopping to chat with anyone else and pushed open the door. “Hey, Mo—”

  The words died in his throat.

  Why the hell was his father sitting in a chair next to the bed?

  The years had added more lines to the man’s face and more gray to his hair, but other than that he looked about the same—complete with the full beard he’d worn for as long as Tucker could remember.

  A fiery anger swelled through him, burning up everything in its path—even the shock that had silenced him. Tucker didn’t walk into the room. He couldn’t walk. Couldn’t breathe. He could only stand there and stare at the man who had left them behind.

  His father stood slowly and removed his Stetson, holding it nervously in both hands in front of his waist. His faded brown eyes locked on Tucker with a wary apprehension. “Hey there, son.”

  Son? No. He’d lost the right to call him that a long time ago. “Get out.” Tucker held his ground just outside the door. “Get the hell out of here. You have no right to be here.”

  His father said nothing, but his mother swung her legs over the side of the bed and eased herself to her feet. That got him moving. Tucker hurried to her side before she lost her balance and fell. She was still too weak to take this kind of stress. “Come on, Mom. Get back in bed.”

  “No.” She wrenched away from him. “No. I won’t let you do this anymore, Tucker. I called him and asked him to come. He’s not leaving. Not until you two make amends.”

  He would rather stand in front of one of the Cortez brothers’ prize-winning bulls than s
pend one more minute in his father’s presence, but he didn’t say so. He simply helped his mom back into the hospital bed.

  “Dinner.” His dad finally spoke. “We could go have dinner. Something quick. So we can catch up.”

  “Catch up.” Tucker turned to him, anger pumping through him. “Sure, Dad. Let’s catch up. Let me tell you all about the last fifteen years. I’d love to reminisce about all the doctor appointments you weren’t there for. The hospital stays just like this one. The holidays you missed, the birthdays.” The hundreds of thousands of moments his father could’ve been with his family. Yes, his father tried calling a few times. He’d sent a few letters, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d walked out on them. He’d turned his back, so Tucker had done the same.

  “I’m sorry.” His father sank back into the chair and stared down at his boots.

  The sight of the man’s obvious remorse didn’t make Tucker feel any better. It didn’t numb the pain that pulsed in his chest, didn’t calm the rush of blood in his ears. Nothing could. Not a dinner with his father, not yelling at the man and putting him in his place. Nothing could fill the hole his dad had left. Nothing could heal him. His father had taught him to bail out on any significant relationship before the other person could. And now Tucker always left first so no one else could leave him. Until Kenna. She made him want to stay, but now he wasn’t worthy of her or her boys.

  Benny’s wise words came back to haunt him. Learning to forgive people for their mistakes is one of the most important things you will ever do in your whole life. But Tucker didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to sit across the table from the man he’d spent years resenting. He didn’t know how to lay down the shield that had protected him from the pain.

  Emotion built into a painful lump that lodged in his throat. “I have to go.” Before it all came out. Anger was one thing but the pain of knowing he wasn’t worth sticking around for could stay buried down deep where it belonged. “Love you, Mom. I’ll swing by tomorrow.” He managed to make it to the door without looking at his father.

  “Tucker.” Birdie’s weepy voice stopped him cold. “Please don’t go. Do this for me.”

  She’d never asked him for much. She’d never shamed him for holding a grudge. She’d never forced his hand in anything except for this. There was no way he could tell her no. And what about Benny? And Kenna? If he did this, if he faced the source of his own fears, maybe things could be different. Maybe he could find a way to fight for her…for them.

  “Tomorrow,” he muttered. “Dinner at the Tumble Inn.” That should give him plenty of time to prepare.

  Kenna’s fingers clumsily pounded the piano keys, hitting flats where there should’ve been sharps and slowing down the tempo of their fifth attempt at “Go Tell It on the Mountain.” Yet again she played the wrong chord, silencing the kids’ adorable singing.

  Violet, her lead soloist, stood on the stage with her hands planted on her hips. “You messed up again, Miss Hart! Now we have to start all over.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” Unfortunately, her brain simply couldn’t seem to connect with her hands today. There was simply too much going on in there. There had been too much going on in there since she’d spent the night with Tucker.

  “Okay.” She sat straighter, inhaled enough oxygen to fill a balloon, and started the song over again. “Take it from the top,” she instructed.

  The chorus of young voices rose again, keeping an impressive harmony considering most of them hadn’t had any formal training. She fought to focus on the kids, on the song, but they only made it a few bars in before her mind drifted again.

  Taking her eyes off the sheet music, she glanced toward the door like she had been for the last hour. Tucker hadn’t shown up to rehearsal tonight. She hadn’t seen him or heard from him in four days. Not since he’d dropped her off at her car at the impound lot. And it was all her fault.

  She’d told him she wanted a Christmas fling, but she hadn’t known she would wake up completely and totally content in his arms. For those few seconds, her body had hummed and her heart had nearly burst with a feeling of fullness, like she could stretch that second out forever and be happy.

  It had been her first fling and she’d screwed it up by completely falling for the man. That’s why she’d had to get away from him. She’d opened herself up without meaning to, and the realization had left her feeling vulnerable and exposed and foolish. So she’d given him an out, telling him she didn’t expect it to go anywhere, and he’d obviously taken it, not even bothering to show up for the rehearsal tonight.

  “Miss Hart! That wasn’t right!” Violet stomped over to the edge of the stage while the other voices awkwardly wound down. “How are we ever going to get it if you don’t play the song right?”

  “Actually, I think you’ve all got it.” And she clearly would not get the song right tonight. Kenna stood and collected the sheet music she hadn’t been able to focus on. “So what’d you say we take a little break? I brought some cookies to celebrate our last rehearsal.” Sugar cookies and some gingersnaps, which Tucker mentioned were his favorites.

  But he wasn’t here.

  The kids all cheered—even Violet who was usually a stickler about finishing a song—and Kenna walked around handing out the cookies along with a festive napkin. The kids clumped in groups, sitting on the risers and stage while they chatted and enjoyed their cookies, content to eat and joke around, which gave her another opportunity to check her phone. No calls. No texts. Disappointment seared into her heart.

  That night she and Tucker had spent together had been magical—the snow, the sleigh, and yes, the sex, but also things he’d shared with her, the pain of his father’s abandonment, and how much he loved and respected his mom. Seeing that different side of him had tugged at the barriers she’d put up around her heart, pulling harder and harder until at last he’d torn them away and she’d allowed herself to connect with him on more than a physical level.

  And all she could think when her senses came back to her after she woke up was that she’d set herself up to get her heart broken all over again. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t bold or brave or—

  A scream from the back of the stage sliced through the thought. Right as Kenna spun to see what had happened, a whole ensemble of screams broke out and kids flooded the steps, running toward her. She looked past them and let out a squeal herself when she saw the water spraying from the ceiling and gushing out through the light fixtures. A pipe must’ve burst…

  “It’s flooding! The building is flooding!” Violet yelped, bumping past her.

  “Everyone stay calm!” Kenna hurried to the edge of the stage to herd the last of the kids down the steps and toward the doors. Sparks flashed behind her, making the lights buzz and flicker. “Get on your coats!” she yelled over the panicked screeches. “Everything will be fine, but we need to evacuate the building.” Kneeling down to help the younger kids with their zippers, Kenna somehow managed to hit the emergency call button on her cell phone and braced it between her ear and her shoulder. She quickly told the dispatcher the situation and then hurried over to comfort Benny, who’d started to cry.

  “It’s okay, buddy.” She took his hand in hers, searching for Jake. He was already near the front of the group, his eyes sparkling with excitement. The kid always loved a dramatic scene.

  “Come on, everyone!” Kenna squeezed Benny’s hand. “Let’s line up and go outside.” As the kids got themselves organized, she did a quick head count to make sure they were all accounted for. “Get on your mittens and hats and coats.” It would be cold, but the fire department should be there shortly and maybe they could let the kids sit in the truck to keep them warm.

  It wasn’t exactly orderly, but the kids streamed out the doors and onto the sidewalks in front of the building.

  “Mama!” Benny tugged on her hand. “What about the pageant? What’s gonna happen to the pageant now?”

  Kenna looked back at the building, which had gone dark
. “I don’t know, sweetie,” she murmured, kneeling down to gather him into a hug.

  Her sweet son broke out into a round of heartbreaking sobs. “Christmas is ruined.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Ah, the optimism of kids.

  Kenna listened to Benny and Jake talk in the backseat of the Jeep. In their minds, last night had simply been an exciting adventure—especially the half hour they’d sat in the fire truck while they waited for all of the other kids’ parents to come and pick them up—and now they were sure they’d be able to walk into the town hall and get right back on that stage. They’d even talked Kenna into driving them over there to check things out.

  “I bet the firemen took care of everything and it’s all better and we can still have the pageant,” Benny told his brother with a rock-solid confidence.

  Kenna wasn’t so sure, but she didn’t want to ruin that hope for them. What was life without hope anyway? Dull, gray, and barren. Hope added the color, the energy, the purpose. So she wouldn’t take it away. They might find themselves disappointed, but that could easily be dealt with. Above everything else, she wanted them to learn to hold on to hope, even through the disappointment—especially through the disappointment. Kind of like she was trying to do right now.

  Well, she wasn’t exactly holding on…more like grasping at hope that maybe she hadn’t damaged things beyond repair with Tucker.

  “Mommy, why is all the furniture on the sidewalk?” Jake had plastered his face and both hands to his window.

  Kenna glanced down the street, and sure enough, it looked like the town hall building had been completely emptied. Pews and cabinets and chairs and desks and even the piano sat on the front walk.

  Kenna parked on the other side of the street and glanced at the mess, knowing what was coming but suddenly unsure of how to prepare the boys. Her gaze stopped on a ladder. The ladder. The one she’d fallen off of right before Tucker had kissed her.