Unwrap these Presents

by Astrid Ohletz

  “Yes. Patrick. His starfish best friend is Patrick. Just like mine.” She took one of my hands from her face and kissed my knuckles, her eyes closing for a moment as contact was made, then she looked up at me.

  My heart. My poor, poor heart. Its cadence was frighteningly rapid, but it felt magnificent. Never in a million years had I ever thought this could happen. I’d dreamt of it, longed for it, cried myself to sleep for the want of it, but deep down I never believed it would happen.

  Mary raised herself onto her knees so her eyes were level with mine, and my hand slipped onto her shoulder.

  “So, you see, Lou. Patrick is here. The person I love is right here.” She pulled my hand to her chest and placed it just beneath her breast. “Right here, too.”

  I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I processed what she had said. Then, without actually thinking it through, I leaned into the space between us and pressed my lips against hers.

  Soft. So bloody soft. Her lips felt better than I ever could have imagined. I just held mine against hers, didn’t move them, didn’t budge from the initial contact. I wanted to commit this moment to memory, capture it and store it in the folder inside my brain that was labelled “Perfection.”

  It was Mary who moved her lips first, Mary who increased the pressure and started to slowly capture my mouth. Our initial contact had been everything I had ever hoped it would be, but having Mary Carpenter kiss me was way beyond anything I had ever have conjured in my limited imagination.

  The heat of her seeped into me, and mine into her. Slow, languishing movements of two mouths connecting for the first time. Her lips parted, encouraging me to stroke her bottom lip with my tongue. The taste of her was all consuming, and I felt the hunger rising within me.

  I lurched forward, my body pressing against hers, her arms wrapping tightly around me and pulling me closer. My kiss was hard, demanding. It was as if the dam had burst, and now I could finally unleash it all, unleash my love for Mary Carpenter. Show her with a kiss what she meant to me. Show her that she was my all, my reason for being, and the woman I had always loved…would always love.

  My fingers threaded through her hair, luxuriating in the feel of the silken strands that I had lusted after for years. Her tongue met mine and the charge of it spread through my body, hitting every region, every extremity. I don’t know which of us moaned, but the sound of it filled my ears, the vibration pulsing through me, creating my moan that slipped inside her mouth.

  Mary’s hands were on my back, her arms holding me close, but I wanted to be closer. I wanted to be beneath her skin, wanted to be part of her as she had always been part of me.

  But Mary pulled her mouth from mine, leaving me kissing air. Coolness touched my lips, and my eyes shot open in question. If it wasn’t for her arms still holding me and her half hooded eyes, I would have started to panic, thinking I had misread the situation.

  “I love you, Louise.” Her expression was serious, her eyebrows dipping slightly, indicating she was thinking about something. Why did she look so expectant? So concerned?

  Then it hit me. I can’t believe I hadn’t gushed it as soon as I realised what was going on, considering I had said it every day for six years, even if it was only to thin air or to her photograph.

  I cupped her face and pulled her closer, making sure she was looking at me. I wanted her to know how I felt, to realise how very much she meant to me.

  “I have loved you for the better part of my life, Mary. And I intend to love you for the rest of it.”

  Tears formed in her eyes. She blinked, and they broke free and slipped down her cheeks. I brushed them away. I moved nearer and kissed the tip of her nose before resting my forehead against hers.

  It should have felt weird, looking at her from such a close range, but it didn’t. It did make my eyes hurt, but I knew I could stand any amount of pain to be this close to her.

  “I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words.” Her voice drifted between us, and I could feel as well as hear each word. “You git.”

  Huh?

  I leaned back a tad so I could look at her. “Did you just say what I think you just said?”

  A crooked grin broke out on Mary’s face. “What? Giiiiiit?” She dragged out the last word, making it sound comical.

  I half closed my eyes and gave her a questioning look. “Yes. That.” I licked my lips and enjoyed the way Mary watched my tongue. “Why are you calling me a git?” My tone came out playful, miraculously just how I wanted it to sound.

  Mary shook her head in a futile attempt to look stern, making a tsking sound as she did so. “My beloved git, why have you not told me before that you loved me?”

  I released an incredulous laugh. “What? Tell you that I loved you even though I truly believed you were straight?”

  “Yes. You assumed I was straight. You never questioned it.”

  “Why would I question it?” I was getting confused. “You had more boyfriends than you knew what to do with.” Though even one had been more than I could possibly bear.

  She laughed that beautiful, womanly laugh of hers and cocked her head to the side. “And why do you think I had all of those boyfriends?”

  I shrugged. “Because you wanted them?”

  She laughed again, and I glared at her.

  Mary leaned forward and kissed me, her lips touching mine so quickly that I didn’t get the chance to respond.

  “No.” Her voice was sultry, her index finger coming up to touch my lips whilst her eyes followed. “It was because I wanted you. Not them. You.”

  “Me?”

  Obviously I was unconvinced. Who wouldn’t have been? To me, Mary was as straight as they came. Until she kissed me, that is. Kissed me. On the mouth. With tongue. Kissed me with those perfect lips. Kissed me and made my life brighter, happier, more fulfilled than I ever dreamed possible.

  A stupid grin tried to break out, but I suppressed it and tried to focus. With the woman I loved sitting at my feet, looking adoringly at me, hiding my idiotic grin was no mean feat.

  “Yes, you.” She sighed. “I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to admit it, just tell you I loved you, but…” She shifted slightly, and I followed her.

  “But?”

  She reached out and grasped my hand, rubbing her fingers against my palm. “But I didn’t know you felt the same.”

  I opened my mouth to rebut her words, but she didn’t give me the chance to speak.

  “You stopped wanting to be close, didn’t want to cuddle when we watched films.” Mary sucked in a breath and held it for a moment before releasing it in a final rush of words. “And you stopped wanting to share a bed when we stayed over at each other’s houses.”

  I snorted.

  Mary tilted her head and looked straight into me. “What’s the matter?”

  “I didn’t want to stop being close, Mary. I was just too scared that if you found out how I felt, you would hate me for wanting you the way I did.” I lifted our joined hands and kissed her knuckles. “For wanting you the way I still do.”

  She pulled me towards her, and I went willingly, not thinking about the consequences. Mary was kneeling on the floor, and I was seated on the sofa. There was only one outcome of me moving forward. I landed squarely on top of her, her falling backwards and taking me with her.

  Having Mary beneath me was like all my Christmas wishes pooled into one—past, present, and future. I luxuriated in our closeness, the feel of her firm body supporting my weight. Even the way she oofed seemed a welcome of my body as I landed on top of her, made it more real somehow. Dark brown eyes stared up at me, and I felt myself become lost in her all over again.

  “You have the most amazing green eyes I have ever seen, Lou.”

  Each word slipped inside me and made me tingle in places I never knew existed. Her hands came up and tangled through my hair.

  “And I love your hair. So soft…so unbelievably soft.” The words began to drift near the end, and my eyel
ids fluttered. “Why did we wait so long for this…for us?”

  I slowly shook my head. I wanted to ask her why she still waited when she knew I was gay, but I couldn’t find any words. Answers to that question could come later, but for now I would allow my actions to speak for me.

  I gently pressed my lips on hers and indulged in the absolute connection we shared. I didn’t move, just held them against hers and filed this moment as the first in the collection of blissful memories I knew I would share with her as we moved on with our future together. It seemed that I kept on wanting to just to connect with her rather than pursue my wildest fantasies.

  Mary was still too, as if she was doing exactly the same thing as I was. My heart was racing wildly, and I wasn’t sure whether the beating I could feel ricocheting through me was just mine, or both of ours.

  ‘So, when do we get… Lou?”

  Considering our lips were otherwise engaged, it would have been impossible for the voice that invaded our perfect moment to belong to either of us. Even if we hadn’t been kissing, the voice was too deep, too manly. Too much like my dad’s.

  I tried to struggle up, but ended up getting more tangled in the situation. I could see a pair of short legs standing to the side of my head, and my face burned with embarrassment.

  “What are you doing, Aunty Lou?”

  Alfie, Hannah’s eldest had decided that standing next to us was not close enough, and he dipped his face to be on level with ours. I wouldn’t have thought my face could go any redder, but it did.

  “Hey, champ. Enjoy your walk?” Apparently Mary wasn’t fazed by the invasion, and I was surprised at the calmness in her voice. She just snaked her hands around me and hugged me tighter. I wanted to bury my face against her neck and wait for everyone to bugger off so I could collect myself. I don’t know why. It wasn’t as if my family didn’t know I was gay. But it is different being caught getting jiggy with it with the woman of your dreams by your dad and nephews, isn’t it?

  James decided that joining his brother by standing as close as he could possibly get and enjoying catching his aunt with her metaphorical pants down was more interesting than going on his Xbox One. “Are you getting married?”

  The rumble of Mary’s laugh reverberated through her chest and into mine, and I looked down at her. Her eyes were sparkling wildly, and I realized she loved how we had been caught. I couldn’t help but join her, and soon the tears were streaming down our faces.

  “What’s going on?” My mother had come in. “About bloody time you two got it on.”

  What the hell? My mother was condoning me sprawling all over Mary Carpenter on my living room floor in front of her grandkids? This was turning into a family get together. All I needed was…

  “Smile!”

  I turned my face in the direction of Hannah’s voice and experienced the blinding flash of a camera. I felt like a celebrity caught in the act, and fully expected to see it on Hannah’s Facebook page in minutes.

  “Lou?” Mary’s voice was low and exceptionally calm. “Do you think we should tell everyone about us?”

  I looked back at her, little orbs still dancing in front of my eyes courtesy of the camera flash. Through the spectacular luminous display, I caught the raised eyebrow and the expectant look from the woman I was covering.

  What else did my family have to witness to understand that I was romantically involved with my best friend? “Are you serious?”

  Mary nodded, but I glimpsed the beginning of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It was as if I used her body as a trampoline, as I seemed to bounce to my feet with hardly a stumble. Hand extended, I waited for her fingers to slip across my palm before I tugged her to a standing position and securely wrapped my arm around her.

  “I’d like to make an announcement.” My eyes scanned the room and noted the expectant faces—apart from my dad, who just appeared confused. Nothing unusual in that, especially at family gatherings.

  James was getting antsy. “I said, are you getting married?”

  I think he was still at the stage where if you kissed someone it meant you had to get hitched, just in case a baby appeared. Considering he was nearly ten, that was a little disconcerting.

  “Of course they are. They’re in love.”

  Alfie, bless him, smacked James around the back of his head, making his brother grunt. Before an all-out scrap could ensue, Hannah dragged Alfie away to stand behind her, her hand firmly gripping his shoulder to make sure he didn’t make a break for it and smack his brother in the face.

  “Listen, son. This is history in the making.”

  Hannah nodded at me to continue with my announcement, but her words had got me thinking. There was something underlying her simple phrase, something in keeping with my sister’s big sisterly sneakiness.

  “What do you mean by ‘history in the making?’” My question was innocent enough, but the blush that crept up Hannah’s face made me realise that the events of today were a little more complex than I had realised.

  Mary pulled me closer. “It’s not Hannah’s fault, love.”

  “What do you mean ‘It’s not her fault?’’’ Why was I suddenly having the urge to repeat snippets of people’s conversations?

  “Erm…well, let’s put it this way. I didn’t do this on my own today.”

  Mary’s voice was quiet, almost as if she wanted me to miss what she’d said. Turning, I looked at her. As expected, Mary looked a tad guilty. For what, I had no clue.

  “Didn’t do what on your own? Kiss me?”

  I think I’ve already mentioned that I am an idiot.

  My mum spoke up. “Come off it, Lou. If it was left up to you, you would still be hankering after Mary when you’re seventy. There’s stubbornness, and then there’s you.”

  I started to speak, but realised I couldn’t deny her words. I opened my mouth, gurned a little, and then shut it again without uttering so much as a gurgle.

  “And you, Mary Carpenter, are no better. From the time you were kids, anyone with eyes could tell you two were meant to be together.”

  My mum was on a roll now. God help us all. I felt Mary squirm, and I wanted to laugh.

  “As a mother, I know. I could see it.” She hooked a thumb at my dad. “Him, on the other hand, he wouldn’t have a clue.”

  I fully expected my dad to ask where Patrick was, but he didn’t. He just glared at my mum, then nodded and agreed.

  “How many years have you both dodged the inevitable? Ten?” I wanted to say it had only been six years, but didn’t think it was the right time to interrupt my mother on a rant. “However long it’s been, it’s gone on too long.” My mum’s attention landed on Mary, and I felt her stiffen. “That’s why I called you. Told you to do something, or else you never would.’”

  Called her? My mum had called Mary and told her to get her act together? What the hell?

  “And if it hadn’t been for Hannah, you’d probably still be dawdling about and looking for your arse with both hands.”

  Hannah too? Bloody hell. It was a family conspiracy—our very own version of The Sopranos but with less blood and fewer fuck words.

  “But… I couldn’t…didn’t… What if…” At least Mary tried to speak. I stood next to her wallowing in my muteness.

  My mum held her hand up to silence Mary, but not in way that was meant to be cutting or rude. It was my mum’s way of letting us know she hadn’t quite finished.

  “You can’t live your lives on ifs, buts, and maybes, Mary love. And you too, Louise.” She moved closer to us, her smile gentle and reassuring. “Life is too precious to worry about rejection. What you should worry about is never doing anything with it, never speaking out, never showing your heart.” Mum stopped in front of us and rested one hand on my arm and the other on Mary’s. “And to live your lives hiding away your love is the biggest mistake you could make. You two belong together. Always have, always will.”

  Emotion surged up my throat, the aching of it terrifyingly wonderfu
l. Then the tears came, but not from hurt or anger. The tears were of happiness, acceptance, and recognition of what I could have lost because I was too bloody frightened to speak my heart to the one person who held it. What my mother had said was so true. So bloody true. I’d been so afraid of losing Mary’s friendship that I’d nearly lost her completely. I had been blinded by circumstance and expectation—my own—that I had thought that Mary could never feel anything but friendship for me. Even when I had told her I was gay, she’d been so understanding. It had been me who had freaked out when I…

  Shit! Big fuck off light bulb over the head moment. Realisation shot into my mind as I recalled what I had done five years ago, the day I had confided my sexuality to my best friend. No wonder she had never told me how she felt.

  “God! I am so sorry.”

  It was the day I had told Mary Carpenter that I was a lesbian, to keep someone else from telling her first. Even I’d realised it would have hurt her to find out second-hand. It was that same day that I had also said, “Don’t worry, Mary. I don’t think of you that way. You’re my friend. My best friend.”

  I thought she’d gone quiet because she was stunned by my revelation, and then she left not long after.

  “When I told you I was gay, I only said what I said because I didn’t want to freak you out. I loved you even then.”

  Mary slowly shook her head before releasing a deep sigh. “That’s all in the past, Lou. Don’t worry about it.”

  God. Her eyes were so dark, so intensely dark.

  Hannah apparently decided that it was her turn to speak. “You should tell her, Mary.”

  I still hadn’t forgotten her “history in the making” comment, but that could wait.

  “I don’t think…” Mary grimaced, the sentence unfinished.

  Hannah moved over to the sofa and bent to retrieve the presents I had dropped when I had launched to grab the woman I loved. “Which one is it?”

  She held three presents in her hands, her eyes darting to each tag as if they would reveal the contents. She stopped and looked over to us. “Give it to her and tell her. She needs to know this isn’t a flash in the pan, a sudden epiphany.”