by Kendall Ryan
“Fine, I’m up. Now tell me.”
Nolan smiled. “He actually seemed okay with us dating. Said you could do worse.”
“Of course I could. You’re quite a catch.” I grinned at him.
“As are you, sweetheart.”
We were quiet for several moments. Nolan continued stroking his fingers through my hair while he watched me. I sensed he wasn’t going to let me out of his sight for a while, which was fine with me. I had the next two days off from work, and wouldn’t mind staying right here in his warm bed the entire time. Realizing how quickly things had changed between us, I suddenly thought of Daniella.
“Is she going to be okay?”
I didn’t have to say her name. There was an unspoken awareness that she was still a piece of our puzzle. At least for now.
He nodded. “She and her sister are getting a place together. She’ll be fine. She’s stronger than I gave her credit for. I just want to focus on you, though. You’ve been through a lot, baby.”
“I know. And I’ve never felt safer. Being here with you, knowing that you’ll protect me at all costs . . .”
“Damn right I will. You’re my woman now.”
I couldn’t help the smirk tugging on my lips. The man who was so deathly afraid of commitment was now openly professing his love. Well, almost anyway; we hadn’t quite gotten to those three little words yet. But I knew he was aware how I felt about him after what I’d said last night. God, last night already seemed so far away.
“So, what are we going to do today?” I asked. Lord knew I didn’t particularly want to be up at this ungodly hour.
“We have a lot of lost ground to make up for. Real dates. I want to take you to dinner, to meet my mom. Maybe we can visit the ranch where I grew up . . .”
“Whoa. Slow down there.” I patted his chest. “I was thinking more like sex, a shower, and coffee. In that order.”
A slow smile uncurled on his mouth. And then he pounced. Bringing his hands to my jaw, Nolan pulled me in for a tender kiss, his body moving over mine. He lay down beside me and drew me into his arms. The warm expanse of his bare chest against mine felt like perfection.
I pushed my hands inside his shorts and found him already hot, hard, and ready in my palm.
“You’re mine now. You understand that, right?” he grunted.
“As long as you understand you’re mine.” I gave him a little squeeze.
A masculine purr rumbled in his throat. “Damn straight, baby.” He kissed me passionately, as if his lips and tongue were communicating what words could not. His hot mouth dominated mine, possessive and hungry. “God, if anything had happened to you . . .”
“I’m here. I’m yours.”
“Mine.”
He grunted again as my hand continued leisurely stroking up and down his generous length. One hand gripped my hip as the other curled between my thighs, lightly teasing, rubbing. Before I could get totally lost in the sensation, I heard a slight wheeze.
I shot a glance over to Sutton, who sat perched at the end of the bed. “Is he going to watch us?”
“Is that a problem?” Nolan smirked.
An elbow to his ribs said yes, it is. I was an animal lover too, but sheesh, this was ridiculous.
With a sigh, Nolan got up and shooed Sutton out of the room. “Out you go, buddy.” Then he shut the door and returned to where I was waiting, naked, on the bed.
His body was mine to explore now, and I cupped his smooth balls with one hand and stroked his heavy cock with the other, loving his little grunts of pleasure, those male sounds of appreciation rising in Nolan’s throat.
“Damn, sweetheart, your hands feel really fucking good,” he said on a groan.
I was so happy we’d waited to make love until all the secrets between us had been aired and Daniella was out of his life. It felt bigger, more important, more special now than if we’d given in to our desires before. Now, we weren’t just surrendering to our bodies, but making a conscious effort to choose each other, to be together.
Easing one finger into me, Nolan began pushing me toward orgasm almost immediately.
“Make love to me,” I murmured.
With a final kiss on my lips, he reached over to his nightstand for a condom.
“I’m clean and I’m on the pill,” I blurted.
I wasn’t even sure why I’d said it. I guess because I didn’t want anything between us, and because I was curious about his status too . . . and whether he’d used them with her.
“I’ve never been inside a woman without one. Are you sure?” he asked.
It was everything I wanted to hear. We could share something new together.
“Very,” I said, my voice growing husky with desire.
“Damn, sweetheart.” He groaned again.
And then Nolan’s lips were on mine and his hands were in my hair, and his cock was pushing inside me so hot and hard that I lost myself to the blinding pleasure.
Skin to skin. Heart to heart.
• • •
I spent the next two days in Nolan’s bed. He fed me comfort food until I was sure I’d gained five pounds, tended to my bruises as they faded, and made sure I was safe, happy, and comfortable.
My dad had flown in for a brief twenty-four-hour stay. He was busy with work, but he needed to see me with his own eyes, hug me, and make sure I was really okay. And as worried as Nolan had been about dating his boss’s daughter, Dad made it crystal clear that he supported us, shaking Nolan’s hand and telling him to take good care of me. It was due in large part to what an admirable man Nolan was—my dad seemed to idolize him—but also because of my poor choices in past boyfriends. Nolan was a good man, and there was no arguing that.
We’d also gone over every detail of my ordeal. My dad and Nolan listened while I covered my experience with the kidnappers, recounting everything I could remember. As I spoke, Nolan typed it all into his laptop. He wanted to make sure I had it all down clearly and wouldn’t forget crucial details for my testimony, since the trial wouldn’t be for a long time. Then we went and gave my statement to the police too, so it was all on official record.
My dad also seemed to ease up a little—letting go of the reins and understanding that this was my life now. I told him I was staying in Texas, and he’d merely nodded.
And now Dad was gone, and Nolan and I both had to return to work in the morning, and back to reality. As good as it had been to stay here with him, I needed to get back to my apartment, back into my life. I didn’t want to hide in Nolan’s shadow. That was the entire reason I’d come here—I wanted to live, not to cower in fear.
We had finished dinner a short time ago and washed the dishes together in comfortable silence. But even with Daniella gone, there was still something that was bothering me, and I was trying to work up the courage to bring it up to Nolan. Her absence couldn’t erase some of the questions I still had.
It wasn’t until we were tucked into bed for the night that I found my courage. The room was dark, and Sutton was sleeping in his new dog bed on the floor.
“Nolan?”
“Hmm?” he murmured, running his fingers through my hair while my head rested on his warm chest.
“Where do you keep your toys?”
“Toys?”
“The things I saw that night, the . . .” God, why does butt plug have to be so awkward to say? “Ropes, blindfolds, and the other stuff.”
“Those things belonged to Daniella, and she took them with her. Why?”
He raised his head from the pillow, and I sat up too. I knew he had other interests in the bedroom, and I didn’t want to be sheltered from them any longer. If we were going to build a real future together, I didn’t want him tempering his tastes for my sake.
“Show me what you like,” I whispered, wishing my words sounded as bold as I felt inside.
“You’re what I like, sweetheart.” He kissed me deeply, his hand at my jaw while his tongue stroked mine.
I pulled back just an inc
“Not tonight, angel. You’ve been through too much.”
My heart started to pound. “There’s this whole other side to you, and I need to know. I need to know I have all of you.”
“You do,” he said.
“Not like this. I don’t want some tame, watered-down version of you. I saw the look in your eyes that night. You shouldn’t have to keep that Nolan in check. I need to know him if I’m going to be with you.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “You want me to be rough with you? Spank you? Show you all the dirty things I like?”
My heart slamming inside my chest, I nodded.
He kissed me again, his lips searing mine, and I sensed there was an internal battle being waged inside him. Wanting to push him over the edge, I slipped my hand into his boxer briefs and gripped his cock. Then I bit his bottom lip—hard.
Nolan let out a loud growl and flipped us over so that he was on his back, and I was sitting atop him.
“Up on your knees,” he said.
The roughness of his voice sent a thrill of adrenaline through me. I rose up on my knees over him, and he shoved his boxers down to free himself.
“I need you to understand one thing,” he said as he gripped himself and leisurely stroked. I shivered as his knuckles grazed my clit. “Whatever happened before you has already been forgotten. You’re all I want. All I need.”
He pulled my panties to the side, his fingers lightly stroking me.
“Soaked for me already. That’s my girl.” Pulling the damp material down my legs, he discarded them at the end of the bed.
I eased down over him, both of us gasping when he entered me.
“So warm. So snug. So perfect.” He grunted as I eased down further. “This is all I want. You. Me . . .” He groaned aloud as I picked up speed, circling my hips to find the depth and angle that made us both cry out. “And if we want toys in the bedroom, we’ll pick them out together.”
My heart overflowed with happiness. I didn’t know those were the words I’d needed to hear, but his answer was perfect. I was enough. Together, we were enough.
Soon I was riding him—well, that wasn’t really correct. I was on top, but he gripped my waist, shoving me up and down on his cock, using me as his toy. His mouth was everywhere, biting and kissing and nibbling on my breasts and my neck.
I knew tomorrow I would wear his marks, and nothing could make me happier.
Epilogue
Nolan
One Year Later
At the picnic table behind the hospital, Lacey took the brown paper sack from my hand. “Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.” She pecked me on the cheek.
“No problem, babe.” It was my day off, so I’d just been puttering around the house when I noticed that Lacey had forgotten her lunch. “Want some company while you eat?”
“Sure,” she chirped, and we sat down next to each other.
As she unwrapped her roast beef sandwich, I took a folded postcard out of my pocket. Its glossy photo showed a stand of golden aspens at the foot of a snow-capped mountain range.
“Check this out. It’s from Daniella and Doctor Dom.” Lacey chewed while I read the back out loud. “Greetings from the Mile-High City. We’re both very busy at Saint Mark’s, but we always find time to watch every Texas home game. (Don’t worry, we’ll never be Broncos fans.) Hope you two have a happy Thanksgiving.”
Lacey swallowed her bite. “It’s good to hear Dani’s doing well.”
I nodded in wholehearted agreement. The two women weren’t exactly best buddies—my presence had made for too much friction between them—but I knew that Lacey sometimes still felt guilty about breaking us up.
We were both glad that Daniella had finally found her groove in life. A new city to make friends in, and a Dom who loved her and treated her right. Her parting gift had been helping Lacey get a new job at the hospital where she could use her finance degree. Lacey now spent her days on fundraising, working with large donors and securing future investments for the new children’s wing of the hospital.
“This last year’s been crazy, right?” she asked, setting down her sandwich.
I nodded again, more grimly this time. The men responsible for Lacey’s kidnapping were currently serving twenty-five to life. Good fucking riddance. Their drug ring charges, on top of armed kidnapping and a whole list of other shit, got them the maximum. That, and Jerry Barton was old college pals with the judge.
“God, if you and Greyson hadn’t come that night . . .”
“We did. And you’re safe. And you’ve called and thanked Greyson about a thousand times since then.”
She sighed. “He doesn’t come around much anymore.”
It was true. Since I’d fallen in love and my life became a picture of happy, domestic bliss, he’d backed off a little. I still saw him at work, we still went for drinks occasionally at West’s, but he often declined to come over for game days, saying that I should spend my spare time with Lacey.
“Grey’s even more fucked up than I was about love,” was all I said.
“Geez, what’s with you two? Is love really so scary?”
I didn’t tell her the whole story about how and why we lost Marcus. Greyson had run that mission and still blamed himself for his death. I hadn’t told her because it wasn’t my story to tell. But that, along with some other tragic events, had fucked us both up pretty good.
Lacey didn’t pry further, and when I stroked her cheek, she leaned into my touch, releasing a soft sigh. She was safe and we were happy. And I hoped that with a little time, and maybe the right woman, Greyson would find his happy place too.
She reached back into her bag and paused. “Hmm? I didn’t pack a dessert, did I?”
My heart tripped. She had found the extra container I’d hidden in her lunch. I tried to stay cool as she took out the little plastic box and opened it. Inside was a chocolate cupcake from her favorite bakery—topped with a glittering diamond ring.
Lacey stared at the ring blankly for a second. Then she took a sharp breath and looked up at me, her lovely eyes wide. “This is . . . you really mean it?”
I laughed. “Of course I do. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“It’s just that . . .” Setting aside the cupcake, Lacey glanced away, her expression caught between joy and regret. “After everything I put you through—”
“Hey, now,” I interrupted, taking her hand. “I understand why you did what you did. And I know you’ve learned from your mistake. I know you’d never lie to me again.”
She immediately shook her head. “Of course not, but—”
“Then there’s no buts. I love you, I trust you, end of story.” I kissed her knuckles gently, then went down on one knee, still holding her hand. “So . . . Lacey Barton, will you marry me?”
She pressed her other hand to her mouth, her eyes brimming. “Yes!” she said with a laugh.
My heart overflowed. I leaned in to hug Lacey tight and claim my first kiss as her fiancé. Nothing could compare to this moment. I had the world’s most amazing woman in my arms . . . and she wanted to be mine forever.
When we paused for breath, I asked with a smirk, “You know what this means, right?”
She blinked, briefly perplexed, then giggled. “Yes, yes. I’m finally moving in with you.”
For the last six months, I had asked her roughly a dozen times if she would move in with me. She had always changed the subject or demurred politely, saying things like “Isn’t it too soon for that?” and “Oh no, Dad would flip out.” While my boss could be old-fashioned—and Lacey had already stressed him out plenty last year—I didn’t think Barton was the kind of man to have a heart attack over a little cohabitation.
“So why did you keep turning me down?” I asked. I wanted to hear the real reason, in her own words.
She sighed, although she was still smiling a little. “I had two reasons, but they’re kind of related. They’ll probably sound stupid when I say them out loud.”
I got up to sit beside her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay. Well, first, I wanted to make sure I was . . . worthy of you.” When I opened my mouth to protest, she put up her hand. “Before I came here, I’d never lived alone before. I’ve always had roommates, or lived with Dad, or . . . Troy. And after what happened last year, it became even more important for me to learn self-reliance. To be confident that I could deal with my own problems. If we lived together, it would be too tempting to depend on you, and I wouldn’t learn anything about myself. I’d just be relying on you.”
“But you’re amazing in your own right,” I teased. “It doesn’t matter who you’re with.”
She smiled despite herself. “Thanks, Nolan. For what it’s worth, I think you do make me a better person. But not in an unhealthy way, if that makes sense. You’re not a crutch, or my ‘other half,’ or whatever. I wanted to find out whether I was a whole person who really brought something to our relationship. Does that make any sense?”
I rubbed my chin. “I think so. You want to be with me because you want me, not because you need me.”
Smiling, she nodded quickly. “That’s exactly it. Us being equal partners is really important to me.”
I reached my arm around her shoulders to give her an encouraging squeeze. “And your other reason?”
“I also . . . wanted to give you your space. I know you were the one asking to move in together, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you ever feeling trapped again.” She dropped her gaze and bit her lip. “Some part of me was secretly afraid that, one day, you’d come to your senses. And if we were living together, that would make it a lot harder to do what was right for you.”
“You mean dump you?”
Her voice was very small. “Yeah.”
I brought my other arm up to hug her. “Sweetheart, it means a lot to hear you care so much about my feelings. But managing them isn’t your job—I can handle myself.” I took her chin, turning her face toward me. “And I’m not sure how I could ever fall out of love with you.”
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