Finding Cupid

by B. E. Baker

  Tears threaten and I inhale deeply to head them off. The income I earn each month selling handmade home decor on Etsy barely covers the cost of groceries. I moved in with Mary around Christmas, but when she got engaged, Luke bought a new house for her. Mary's been kind enough to keep paying the utility bill on this place so that I have somewhere to live with Troy. She's never once complained, but I feel guilty about it every day.

  “I know you're not pushing, and I appreciate it. I swear to you though, I will be able to pay rent soon.”

  “Aunt Trudy,” Amy says.

  I glance down at her. She's got one hand on her hip, and the other around a box. “Where should we put Troy's presents?”

  She's only holding one, but I don't point that out. “The kitchen table is great. Thanks for being so polite about asking.”

  Amy glances at our four-person table and raises one eyebrow skeptically. “They definitely won’t fit there.”

  I crouch down and hold out my hands. She’s clearly not accustomed to parties with only a handful of guests. “I think we'll be okay. Here, if you give it to me, I'll make room for it.”

  Amy shakes her head. “No, this is just the one Chase picked. The rest of the presents are in Dad's truck.”

  I frown. Surely Mary and Luke wouldn't have brought something huge. I told Mary I bought Troy a remote control Mickey car, and my sister wouldn’t upstage my gift. Right?

  Amy reaches out with her free hand and pushes on the corners of my mouth. “Don't frown. Dad said you might have forgotten how you couldn't fit the surprise for Troy in your car, but we brought it for you.” She leans close and whispers. “Did you forget? Because sometimes old people forget things, and Dad says that's really normal. It's the train table Troy loves to play with when he comes to Mom's house, like Chase's.”

  This time I can't blink back my tears, so I stand up and wipe at my face. “I did forget. Thanks for reminding me, Amy. And you're right, it didn’t fit in my car.”

  Amy claps her hands. “I helped wrap all the trains. I thought Troy would like to open each one.” Her eyes sparkle. “I'll go help Dad bring them inside if that’s okay.”

  I point. “Maybe put them over there by the window.”

  Amy races back toward the door with Luke on her heels. He glances back at me, his eyebrows drawn together quizzically. “I hope you don't mind.”

  How could I mind that I have such generous family? It's exactly the kind of thing Mary would have done herself before she met Luke. Of course, she and I would have stayed up late the night before putting it together one dumb piece at a time.

  I smile at him. “Of course not. Thanks.”

  He bobs his head and steps out.

  “He's a really, really good guy,” I say.

  Mary beams. “I know he is. And your guy is out there too, I can feel it.”

  I roll my eyes. “If you mention Paul’s name one more time, I may duct tape your mouth shut.”

  Mary puts her arm around me. “I didn’t say it this time. And you can’t be too cranky about it. You haven't even met him yet.”

  “I've been divorced for one month,” I say.

  “But you’ve been entirely alone for five. Most women would be looking around by now.”

  “You’re just in the engagement haze. I’m not in a rush. I'll meet Paul at your wedding, and I don't need you guys to make things unbearably awkward before then. I wouldn't even want to go on a date with Bradley Cooper if he knocked on my door. I'm not ready to date.”

  “I said something similar not too long ago.” Mary drags me into the kitchen and lets go of my hand to sink down onto a chair. “Then I met Luke and realized I'd been lying to myself. Everyone wants to fall head over heels, if they meet the guy they trust to catch them.”

  “My heart's deader than those daisies Troy keeps watering. Dating anyone would be grotesque, trust me. Let's all agree to spare poor Paul the miserable experience.”

  Mary lifts her eyebrows. “I'll do no such thing.”

  My door bangs open and I'm glad I didn't bother sitting down myself.

  Paisley flies through the door in front of Luke, sliding along my tile in an unnatural way. “What's up party people!?” She pulls up short and barely avoids toppling right into me. Meanwhile, Luke singlehandedly hefts a huge table through my doorway sideways.

  I maneuver around Paisley and rush over to help guide Luke. Amy follows after her dad with an armful of small packages.

  “Thanks guys,” I say.

  Amy and Luke head back down to grab the rest of the trains and track, all wrapped up individually. Troy unwraps presents slower than an arthritic snail, so this is going to be painful. Before I can follow them out and offer to help, Paisley zooms over to the family room with two more boxes under her arm.

  “What in the world is wrong with you?” I squint at her feet. No wonder she practically knocked me over when she came inside. “Please tell me you don't have wheels on your shoes.”

  Paisley plops both boxes onto the top of the train table. “My rolly footwear is literally the coolest thing ever invented. I can't believe I hadn't tried them before now.”

  “I’m pretty sure they never made them in big people sizes before now,” Mary says.

  “Very funny.” Paisley leans close to me, her eyes twinkling. “Don't worry, Trudy. I got you and Troy matching pairs. You’re going to love these, I swear.”

  I groan. “You better be kidding. I need a broken ankle about as much as Troy needs a double shot of caffeine.”

  “What you need is more excitement in your life,” Paisley says. “You can't find it unless you look, and maybe I should specify. I mean you need to look somewhere outside of this house.”

  “Speaking of excitement, how did you get up the porch stairs?” I ask. “Without breaking your neck, I mean?”

  Paisley's grin splits her face and she lifts one foot up. “That's the beauty of these. They're shoes on the front. I walked up.”

  Mary and I share a glance, but before we come up with anything witty enough to say about the oddity of Paisley's brain, a boy from Troy's Sunday school class shows up. The other boy and the girl arrive moments after. The next hour and a half is full of squeals, games, and far too many juice box spills for only six kids.

  Amy takes it upon herself to enforce all house rules. She follows the four-year-olds around and orders them not to write on anything but paper. She makes them wash their hands before leaving the kitchen area to play. And when one of the little boys dashes over to the table to snatch a handful of grapes, she stops him with a firmly outstretched palm.

  “Graham,” she says imperiously, “you're welcome to eat those, but in this house, food stays in the kitchen.”

  Mary and Luke watch it all with identical indulgent half-smiles on their faces. If it wasn’t so cute, it might be a little alarming. My sister’s been replaced. Now she’s half of a couple that seems to communicate silently in smirks and loaded looks.

  “Amy has turned into quite the little lieutenant, hasn't she?” I ask Mary.

  “We’re spending more and more time at Mary’s place,” Luke says. “So that it won’t be such a big transition when we move in after the wedding. Amy's happy not to be outnumbered anymore, and she may be taking her job as Mommy's helper a little too seriously.”

  Mary shrugs. “I think it's harmless. For now.”

  Luke rolls his eyes. “You would think that. She didn't imperiously order you to take your shoes off and leave them by the front door yesterday.”

  “You were tracking mud inside,” Mary says.

  Amy approaches, arms folded across her chest. “Aunt Trudy, I think the kids are getting a little bored with the beanbag game. I keep having to stop them from opening Troy's presents. It might be time for cake.”

  Mary shoots me a sheepish look.

  “Why little Miss, I think you're right. Why don't you call everyone over?”

  Amy herds the kids toward the table like a well-intentioned border collie. Chase b
ristles a little at his sister's officious commands, but Troy and his friends don't seem to mind. After one look at the cake, even Chase happily stands near the table with his small hands folded in front of him.

  “Thank you all for coming,” I say to the kids and their parents. “We are so happy that Troy's four years old!”

  Troy hugs my leg. “I'm finally big!”

  My heart contracts and I crouch down in front of him. “All I asked for this Christmas was for you to stay little.”

  Troy raises his chin. “But I gave you something different. A stuffed teddy bear. Which means I can be big now.”

  I pick Troy up. He may be big, but he still fits on my hip. “Now everyone wants to sing to you, okay? And then we can cut this cake.”

  Troy claps, and Paisley lights the candles.

  I choke back tears during the song, not ready to acknowledge that my baby's a little boy. But he blows out all four candles without help, and I have to admit it. He's growing up.

  We open presents next, and he loves the train table. Even so, a tiny part of my heart soars when he proclaims that the Mickey remote controlled car is his favorite toy. One day I'll be able to afford fancy gifts, but for now I'm glad my boy likes simple things.

  After the other three guests have left, Mary calls for Chase and Amy. “Time to go, kids.”

  “You can stay as long as you want,” I say. “No big rush on our end.”

  “I've got fifty million emails to wade through.” Mary sighs.

  “And I have to sign off on all the launch plan details.” Luke shakes his head. “I know you’re actively searching, but jobs are overrated.”

  “You might have a different opinion if you were in my shoes,” I say. “I've filled out eighty-six applications and not gotten one interview.”

  Mary's eyebrows draw together. “I wish you'd come work for me. I don't understand why you won't.”

  Mary has always been a genius, and laser focused on top of it. She put herself through college and took care of me at the same time. She found her own job right out of school and worked her way to the top by the age of thirty. She never had a leg up from anyone, so she doesn't get why I won't accept one when she's offering it.

  “I need to find a place myself,” I say.

  “Just apply for a position at LitUp Applied Science,” Luke says. “I won't even tell anyone to pick you, I swear.”

  I roll my eyes. “Sure you wouldn't. You guys are amazing, but I'm graduating in two months and I need to do this on my own.” Plus, there's no way I want to work at Luke's office, where he will awkwardly try to shove me at his little brother daily. Blech.

  “If you change your mind, just say the word,” Mary says. “Being the boss should have some perks, right?”

  A terrible thought occurs to me. What if they're offering me jobs because they're sick of me not contributing? Mary's too nice to complain, but the idea of her grumbling to Luke about how I'm such a freeloader when I could be earning something to pay them makes me dizzy.

  I bite my lip. “If I still can't find anything in the next two weeks, I'll apply for a job at both of your companies. I know I'm sponging off you right now so I shouldn't be too picky, but I'd really like to try and do this myself.”

  Mary puts her hand on my arm. Her voice is soft when she says, “Trudy, you are not sponging. You're caring for my beautiful nephew. You watch Chase and Amy all the time, and you're finishing up your degree. I don't even know how you'll find time to work between now and graduation.”

  “I watched my friend Pam's son Benson for free for two years while she was getting her beautician's license. She's too nauseated by the smell of hair products during her second pregnancy to work. Plus her husband got a promotion, and told her to take some time off. Troy and her son are the same age and they play beautifully, so she's going to watch Troy for free while things level off around here.”

  “What about school?” Luke asks. “You only had four classes between you and graduation, but that's still a full load.”

  “Yeah I was so close. I was such an idiot not to finish. Luckily, the university has a new program that lets me take the computer classes mostly online, which means I could go at whatever pace I wanted. The reason I started looking for jobs is that I'm essentially done.”

  “How's that even possible?” Paisley asks. She's been wiping down the counters, and I almost forgot she was still here.

  “I've been working on them every single time Troy takes a nap, and after he goes to bed. I'm finished, other than taking my finals, which I can't do until the first week of May.”

  Paisley whistles. “Well folks, Mary and Trudy may not look an awful lot alike, but it turns out, Trudy's just as big of a nerd. Good luck living with a Wiggin girl, Luke, that's all I have to say.”

  “I can't wait.” Luke kisses Mary's forehead.

  Mary beans Paisley in the head with a grape.

  “Nice shot,” I say. “See? We're not too nerdy. We can still lob a grape well enough to leave a welt.”

  Luke's phone buzzes and he checks it. “That's Paul. He needs my feedback in the next hour on the supply chain revisions.” He slides his phone into his pocket. “Sorry we can't stay longer.”

  “If you guys are super busy, leave the kiddos,” I say. “They can spend the night.”

  Luke's head whips toward Mary's so fast, I worry about whiplash. “That's not a bad idea.”

  Mary shakes her head. “We can't, not tonight. They have dentist appointments in the morning, remember?”

  Luke grunts. “Fine, fine. Thanks for the offer, Trudy.”

  Once they've gathered all their things and extricated both kids, they head out the door. Luke turns back toward me before he heads down the steps. “I'm going to hold you to your promise,” Luke says. “Not because we care whether you're paying rent. We couldn't care less, I swear. But you're too great an asset to be wandering around undiscovered. You can keep sending resumes into slush piles for two more weeks, and if no-one bites, then you're going to come work for me.”

  He hugs me, and I close the door behind him.

  Paisley's sweeping now. I cross the room and take the broom from her. “I didn't invite you over to be my maid.”

  “There were only six kids, right? How come it looks like a tornado went through the house?” she asks.

  “It looks almost this bad before I put Troy to bed every night.” He's watching Mickey Mouse on TV right now, but I glance at the clock. “Which I have to do in an hour or so, anyway.”

  “Maybe I'll stick around for a movie, then. Do you have time?” she asks.

  “You don't have other plans?” I'm giddy about having some girl time, but I feel bad keeping her here on a Sunday night. I'm sure she has other things to do. “It's a weekend and you're single and flirty and fun.”

  Paisley laughs. “It's cute that you think I have plans. I had a horrible date on Friday. It was so bad I deleted the dating app from my phone.”

  “Whoa! No more internet dating for you?” I ask.

  She giggles. “Let’s not get too carried away. I have about ten other apps, but that particular one's toast.”

  “I don't even want to think about all that,” I say.

  “You never used apps before you married Chris?” Paisley asks.

  “I mean, they existed, but I met him through a friend. After that...”

  Paisley nods. “Yeah, Mary told me. He kind of took over your life.”

  I shrug. It's been so strange making decisions on my own, now that he’s finally been eliminated from my life. Strange, but also liberating. “Anyhow, I have a while before I need to worry about it.”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “Do you now?” She snatches my phone and starts poking at buttons.

  “Hey,” I say. “Give that back.”

  “I'm bringing you into the twenty-first century.”

  I snatch my phone back. “I'm not dating at all.”

  Paisley's jaw drops. “Why not?”

  I pull the cr
umpled list out of my pocket. “Last time I started dating someone and got excited, I got married and pregnant and didn't finish my last semester of college.”

  “Not everyone is Chris,” Paisley says. “In fact, most people aren’t anywhere near that narcissistic.”

  “Thank goodness for that,” I say, “but I need to worry about getting my ducks in a row. Besides, right now I don't even want to date.” I plop down onto one of the kitchen chairs. “I think my heart died.”

  “I didn't realize you were so upset over the divorce.” Paisley collapses next to me. “I'm sorry. I'm a lousy friend.”

  I shake my head. “It's not the divorce, or even Chris. My overwhelming feeling about that was just relief.”

  Paisley leans toward me. “Then what's with the vampire situation?”

  “Huh?” I ask.

  “Your undead heart?”

  Paisley's such a goober. “I don't know. I haven't wanted to watch rom coms, or any kind of love stories. I don't ever catch myself checking out hot guys. If my heart isn’t dead, it’s broken beyond repair. I don’t even think about all that stuff.”

  “When would you go see a movie if you wanted to? Do you ever leave the house anymore?”

  I whap her on the arm. “I leave the house.”

  “I’m not actually kidding. Other than shipping your Etsy signs and like, grocery shopping, when do you go anywhere?”

  My cheeks heat up. “I don't have enough money to pay for a gym membership—I only have one because Mary added me to her account for a Christmas present.” My voice drops to a whisper. “I really do need a job.”

  Paisley's face crumples. “Oh Trudy, I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that. Look, the last year has been a rough one.”

  “Try the last five.”

  She slides her chair close and puts her arm around me. “This year is going to be your best yet, then.”

  A tear slides down my cheek. “Why would you think that? I haven't got a single lead for a job. Not one.”

  “That's how it works. When life gets horrible enough, we make changes. It takes time to course correct, but once we do, that's when things improve. I’ve been watching. You’re headed the right way again, so things will come around for you.”