The Christmas Courtship

by Emma Miller

  Weeks ago he had heard something about Phoebe coming to stay with them in Hickory Grove because of a scandal, but he’d assumed it was over something silly. And once he had gotten to know Phoebe better and learned something of her upbringing, he’d been even surer of it. Her stepfather was a harsh man. Strict and inflexible. A man like that could send a daughter to stay with a cousin for any number of reasons. It happened all the time. It was a good way for men and women of marrying age to find spouses outside their own community.

  Joshua stared at his boots. “I don’t think you’re lying to me, Bay. It’s only that I—” He what? He took a breath and exhaled slowly.

  “It’s not that I don’t like Phoebe.” Bay set down the wooden spoon and walked over to him, her arms crossed over her waist. “But I don’t think you should—” She halted midsentence. “I think you should ask her about it. Before you—”

  “Before I what?” he demanded, looking up to meet her gaze.

  “Before you fall in love with her,” she said softly.

  Too late, he thought. But he didn’t say it. Instead, he turned away. “I better get going.” He walked out of the kitchen and out the back door.

  Ask her. Bay’s words were still echoing in Joshua’s ears as he walked toward the chicken coop in the barnyard, his head down. Phoebe was such a faithful woman. He couldn’t believe she could have done something so terrible that it would matter to him.

  But now Joshua was torn. Maybe Bay was right. Maybe he should ask Phoebe about it. Get the story from her.

  Or would it better to wait for her to tell him about it? Phoebe was just beginning to trust him. If she had something to tell him, she’d tell him in her own good time, wouldn’t she?

  Reaching the chicken house, he jiggled the latch, testing it.

  Ya, he thought to himself. That was the right thing to do. To let her come to him. To let her tell him in her own good time. And she would tell him when she was ready. He was sure of it.

  Chapter Five

  “‘I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men,’” Benjamin read from a worn leather-bound Bible.

  As he read, Phoebe clasped her hands in the folds of her black dress and tried to concentrate on God’s words and not the rumbling of her stomach. Or the letter lying upstairs on her dresser.

  She was hungry because Benjamin’s family fasted on Thanksgiving. The good news was that after this final time of prayer and contemplation, the twenty-four-hour fast would end and they would share a meal together. In truth, her empty stomach was far less a concern to her than the letter she’d received from her mother the day before.

  The letter had begun pleasantly enough with ordinary news of the goings-on of the household: her mother had started making a new quilt, her eldest stepbrother had become betrothed to the neighbor’s pious daughter, Azubah, and the family butchered two hogs for the coming winter. Her mother had then moved on to news of Phoebe’s son, John-John. The toddler had taken to a black-and-white kitten in the barn, and he was now counting to six without making a single mistake.

  The letter had then gone on to say that in Phoebe’s absence, John-John had begun calling his grandfather vadder. The thought of her son calling Edom Wickey Father had made Phoebe so angry that she’d had to take a moment to pray for guidance. Then her anger had turned to fear. When she left home, her intention had been clear: to find a suitor and return for John-John. What reason would her stepfather have for allowing her son to call him Father when he knew that Phoebe intended to marry and take John-John with her? Edom knew Phoebe’s husband would become her son’s father.

  Phoebe wanted to believe it was all innocent. Maybe John-John heard the other children in the house calling Edom vadder and he’d copied them. But if that was true, why had her mother made a point to mention it? Phoebe knew that Edom read all correspondence that left the house before it was mailed. That included not only letters that Phoebe and her older stepsiblings wrote but her mother’s, as well. Had it been a secret warning from her mother, disguised as newsy chat?

  She sighed and opened her eyes.

  Just as in church on Sundays, Benjamin and Rosemary’s family had gathered with the males on one side of the living room and the females on the other. The little ones, James and Josiah, wandered back and forth between their brothers and sisters and mother while Benjamin stood before the group in front of the fireplace. Phoebe gazed first at the bowed heads of the girls covered with prayer kapps, then past them to the men’s side.

  Joshua was watching her.

  “‘I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting,’” Benjamin continued, his baritone voice steady.

  Joshua caught Phoebe’s gaze. He didn’t smile, but his eyes twinkled, making her want to smile.

  They hadn’t had any time to talk today. And she wanted to speak with him, to tell him about the letter from her mother. She didn’t know who else she could discuss it with. She had considered speaking to Rosemary because she respected her opinion, but her cousin was so busy with the house and her large family. And though her recovery was going as her doctor expected, she was still healing from her surgery. Phoebe didn’t want to burden her with her own troubles. It didn’t matter anyway because she hadn’t had time to speak to anyone. After morning chores, they’d gathered for prayer and readings from the Bible. After an hour break to check on the animals and see to personal matters, they’d gathered again. There had been another short break at two o’clock when a hearty chicken stew had been put on the woodstove to simmer, and now they were gathered for final prayers before supper.

  Joshua smiled now at Phoebe, and she had to close her eyes to prevent herself from smiling back. She loved the little shiver of happiness she felt when he looked at her and when they talked. But it also made her nervous. She knew Joshua had feelings for her. What she didn’t know was where she wanted it to lead. Where it could lead. Did he think she was the kind of woman he would marry, or was she just a dalliance? He’d admitted to her that he had never had a girlfriend before. Was he too young to consider marriage yet? Was he too young to be ready to commit to the responsibility of marriage? He seemed mature for his age to her, but what if her opinion was influenced by these flutters in the pit of her stomach? What if she was allowing her attraction to him to cloud her logic?

  Benjamin indicated they should all bow their heads in a final silent prayer, and Phoebe forced herself to focus on thoughts of thanksgiving for God’s gifts and not herself. Within minutes, Benjamin ended the afternoon with encouraging words to uplift his family’s spirits, and Rosemary shooed the women into the kitchen to get supper on the table. Now that the fast was over, everyone was eager to eat.

  “Pop those biscuits in the oven,” Rosemary told Tara as she slowly made her way toward the kitchen, limping in the orthopedic boot she was still wearing. “Nettie and Bay, can you see to setting the table?”

  As the women all made their way toward the kitchen, the men went their way, headed to the barns to feed the animals before they broke their fast.

  “Fifi!”

  Phoebe looked down to see little James tugging on her dress. He raised his chubby hands to her, indicating she should pick him up.

  “Oh, goodness,” she said, seeing that his hands were covered in something sticky. “Looks like you need a little hand washing, ya?” While the adults all fasted, it was not required of the children, and they had eaten snacks throughout the day. “Is that jam?” she teased, lifting the toddler into her arms. “Josiah? Where did you get to?” With James in her arms, she searched for him as the living room emptied.

  “This Josiah?” Joshua appeared at Phoebe’s side. “Were you looking for this pup?” he asked, jostling his little brother playfully.

  Josiah giggled and then James wiggled in her arms.

  “Did Bay say an
ything to you about going out for greenery tomorrow?” Joshua asked. He raised Josiah in the air. “Well, tomorrow or Saturday, depending on the weather.”

  She shook her head. “No one mentioned it.”

  “It’s a family tradition. We used to do it when we lived in New York. Our family and Rosemary’s. Her husband was my father’s good friend. Our families went out together every year. We’d gather greenery, you know, mistletoe and pine, and take it home to decorate the shop and our houses and such.” He lowered Josiah to his hip, and the toddler tried to climb onto his shoulder. “We usually wait until into December, but Bay and I were thinking we’d make wreaths and garland and try to sell them at the harness shop.”

  “Sounds like a great idea to me,” Phoebe replied, gently extracting the string of her prayer kapp from James’s hand.

  “Anyway, I wondered if you’d like to go with us.” He lowered his voice, though there was no one near to overhear them but the two little boys. “We might get a little time alone. I thought a walk in the woods might be nice. Especially with the little bit of snow we got last night.”

  “I don’t know. I’d like to, but I’ll have to talk to Rosemary and see if she can spare me. She might need me to keep an eye on these two.” She poked her finger into James’s tummy. “Who can be a handful.”

  James giggled and poked her in the shoulder.

  “I’d really like it if you could go with us,” Joshua said, meeting her gaze.

  “Phoebe?” Rosemary called from around the corner, in the kitchen. “Do you have the little rascals?”

  “I do! Coming,” she returned. She turned to Joshua again. “And why would you like me to go with you?” she asked playfully, feeling saucy. She started for the kitchen and he fell into step behind her.

  Joshua leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear. “You know very well why. Because I like you, Phoebe. Because I want you to be my girl.”

  His words startled her almost as much as the sight of Eli Kutz just walking in the back door to the kitchen. In his arms, he carried a little girl about the same age as James and Josiah. She suspected the child was his youngest. She remembered because he’d made a point of saying his daughter needed a mother. What on earth was Eli doing here? Thanksgiving was generally a private day for families.

  “I hope I haven’t come too early,” Eli said to Benjamin.

  Phoebe glanced over her shoulder at Joshua. “We’ll talk later,” she whispered as she entered the kitchen.

  “You’re certainly not early.” Benjamin patted Eli on the back affectionately with one meaty hand. “Just finished with family prayer. Come in, come in.” He waved him in. “Rosemary and I are glad you could join us for supper.”

  “Eli’s come for supper?” Phoebe whispered to Ginger.

  Ginger took James from her and into her arms and shifted him to her hip. “I think Mam invited him,” she murmured so no one else would hear. “She saw him at Spence’s Bazaar Tuesday.” She raised her eyebrows. “Nettie said he jumped at the invitation. Made a point of asking if you’d be here.”

  “Me?” Phoebe breathed, purposely not looking in Eli’s direction. At first, she’d thought it was kind of Rosemary to be keeping an eye out for possible suitors for her. Now, however, she didn’t know how she felt about it. Now that her feelings for Joshua were rising to the surface.

  Ginger shrugged. “I guess you made a good impression at the harvest supper.”

  “Have a seat at the table. The boys are just going out to feed up. We’ll be eating soon,” Benjamin told Eli jovially. “And who is this little miss?” He tugged on the hem of the little girl’s mauve dress. She was dressed identically to other women in the house in a dress, prayer kapp and apron, and looked adorable.

  Eli bounced his daughter in his arms. “This is my Lizzy. Aren’t you?” he asked. He met Benjamin’s gaze. “My youngest. Named after my dear wife.”

  “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?” Benjamin’s tone was kind. “Well, it’s good to have you here with us. Did you bring the other children?”

  “The boys are such a handful. They stayed home with my mother.” Eli’s gaze strayed to Phoebe and he nodded. “Good to see you again, Phoebe.”

  Phoebe froze, at once feeling awkward. She’d practically been flirting with Joshua a moment ago, and now here was another man who was clearly interested in her. It didn’t seem right to her. She swallowed and nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. “Good to see you, Eli.”

  Eli was a good six inches taller than she was. Maybe ten years older. She wouldn’t have called him handsome. His hair was thinning, his red beard already threaded with gray. But he had kind blue eyes. She’d noticed them the night she’d met him at the Fishers’. They’d shared a pleasant conversation about the weather in Delaware compared to the weather in Pennsylvania, and he’d told her a little bit about his children. He’d shared a sweet story about his middle boys trying to train one of their goats to lie down on command like the family dog. She’d found him easy to talk to. And gentle. He seemed like just the sort of man she had been looking for when she left home.

  So why was she feeling distressed to see him here?

  “Phoebe,” Benjamin called. “Could you get some coffee for Eli and me?” He pulled a chair out at the head of the kitchen table. “Sit, Eli.”

  “I don’t want to keep you from your chores,” Eli said, hanging back.

  “I wasn’t going to the barn,” Benjamin assured him. “That’s what I have sons for. Sit, sit.” He indicated a chair next to him. “You’ll take a cup of coffee with me, won’t you?” He looked to Phoebe. “Coffee?”

  “Ya, of course.” Phoebe practically tripped over her own feet as she made her way to the stove, where an old-fashioned percolator sat, fresh coffee gurgling in it.

  Ginger leaned in toward her as Phoebe went by. “Eli’s all eyes for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he asks you to walk out with him.”

  Phoebe cut her eyes at Ginger as she reached for two sturdy white coffee mugs from an open shelf against the wall.

  Ginger giggled and walked away, still carrying her little brother.

  With a sigh, Phoebe poured the coffee. She could feel Eli watching her, even with her back to him. But Joshua had just asked her to be his girl and the moment he said it, she knew it was what she wanted. So having Eli here now put her in a bit of a pickle. What would she do if Eli did ask her to walk out with him? She couldn’t say yes, not when she had feelings for Joshua. Feelings he shared with her.

  “Here you go,” she said, turning to the two men at the far end of the table. “Hot and fresh.” She forced a half smile. All she had to do was be nice to Eli, she told herself. Give the men their coffee and then she could busy herself with the meal. She wouldn’t even have to speak to him, and then he wouldn’t have the chance to ask her to walk out with him. The kitchen was buzzing with activity as Rosemary gave out orders and the girls all hurried to get supper on the table. With all of this confusion, it would be easy enough to avoid the widower.

  She set one mug down in front of Eli, carefully still avoiding eye contact. Then she put the other mug down in front of Benjamin. But just as she set it down, Benjamin rose from his chair. “I almost forgot. I need to run down to the barn and check on that yearling calf of mine that’s been feeling poorly.”

  He looked to Phoebe, who realized a second too late that she’d made the mistake of making eye contact with him. “Have a seat, Phoebe. Talk with Eli while I run down to the barn.”

  Before she could protest, Benjamin was practically pushing her into his chair. Phoebe had no choice but to sit, and the next thing she knew, she was eye to eye with Eli.

  “Have my coffee,” Benjamin told Phoebe. He chuckled. “I’ve had enough for the day, anyway.”

  Phoebe didn’t even like coffee, but she reached for the warm mug, just to have something to do with her hand
s.

  “Nice of Rosemary to invite me for supper,” Eli said, moving his daughter from one knee to the other so that she was no longer between him and Phoebe. From his pocket, he removed a little hand-carved wooden sheep. “Look what your dat found,” he said in Pennsylvania Deutsch.

  The little girl closed her hand over the toy and glanced shyly at Phoebe.

  “Do you know what a sheep says, Lizzy?” Phoebe asked in the same language. “Baa.” she said, imitating the sound.

  The little girl giggled.

  “It’s nice to be here.” Eli reached for his coffee mug, the hanging oil lamp over the table casting shadows across his face. “This house is always so lively. It feels like a home. Since Elizabeth passed, my house—” He hesitated. “It’s missing a woman’s warmth. My mother tries, but—” He exhaled. “It’s not the same.”

  Phoebe kept her attention focused on the coffee in her hand and blew on the surface. Her heart went out to Eli. It was obvious he was lonely and she understood loneliness. She’d experienced her share of it since her betrothed’s death. Eli and Phoebe had talked some about his wife, and she had gathered that while there was no romantic love between them, he had loved her as a man loves a woman who cares for his home and has given him children.

  As for this house, it was lively, all right. At this moment in the kitchen, Bay and Tara were arguing over whether or not to add dried basil to the chicken stew, James was crying to be picked up again, and a tabby cat had taken up residence in the chair at the far end of the table and was meowing loudly. After setting a lid down on a pot with a clatter, Rosemary lifted the back of the chair, and the cat slid unceremoniously to the kitchen floor and shot under the table.

  “Jesse!” Rosemary called. “That cat is in the kitchen again. Take care of her or she’ll end up in that stew.”

  Giggling, her eleven-year-old son scooped the cat up in his arms and hurried out of the kitchen. “No one likes cat in a stew,” he said to no one in particular.

  Phoebe took a sip of the hot black coffee. “Oh,” she said suddenly, half rising up out of the chair. “Eli, can I get you cream for your coffee?”