“Wouldn’t change anything. It never has. It’s just how it is.” He shifted in his seat. “The thing that really baffles, is how the hell they found another person with the same kind of fucked up crazy. Does that mean there’s hope for any sad sack to find… I don’t know, I don’t want to call it love… companionship, maybe? Nah, still gross.”
So gross. We drove in silence for a few, and I realized, I wasn’t coming down from this queen B-ing incident like I had in the past. Normally, at this point I’d be filled with regrets. I had none. All I could sense was a smidgen of fear that they might hurt Ryan. “Tell your parents if I see even a single mark on you, I’m reporting the hell out of it.”
“That’s…” Ryan hesitated. “Okay. Coach has already put them on warning about that, so I think I’m good.”
“What?” I growled. I couldn’t decide if another adult knowing about the Mather’s potential for violence was comforting or distressing. My brain was spinning full tilt in all the directions. “I mean… what?”
“Are you okay, Kat?”
“I don’t know. Yes? I’m fine. I’m just… I’ve got a lot of thoughts happening right now. Are you okay?”
“Cool, cool. Yeah, I’m okay,” Ryan said casually. “Where are we going?”
That was a very good question. Suddenly I felt very connected to my body and my car as I looked around at unfamiliar houses in a strange neighborhood, wondering where I was and how exactly I’d gotten here. “I have no idea,” I whined as I pulled over. “Maybe you should drive.”
Ryan met me at the back of the car and pulled me into a hug. “Two more weeks,” he sighed.
“Maybe if we’re super lucky your parents will try bribing one of us to break up with the other,” I said against his chest. I was only half joking.
Ryan laughed. “I’d turn them down.”
“Would you really?” I looked up at him.
He leaned down and kissed the top of my nose. “You’re priceless, Kat. Now hurry up and tell me you’re never going to marry me.”
I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. “I’m never going to marry you, Ryan.”
“That’s my girl,” he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
Chapter 35
For prom weekend, the whole weekend, Friday through Sunday, Ryan rented a gigantic getaway resort estate cabin thing tucked away on a mountaintop overlook a few miles into Unitah Canyon. It was built like a house, but it was basically a small hotel, or like some kind of hybrid — a houstel? Sounds like hostel. Kind of the same, very very different. Mostly because it was nice, and also basically no one had to share a bathroom. All 38 bedroom or sleeping areas were numbered, there were signs that identified other places, like the dining room and the theater and the rec room; and the place came with its own staff who cleaned stuff, made beds and food and whatever. The guest list was pretty exclusive because Ryan wanted, in his words, “A casual affair, with lots of chill and no nonsense.” So, basically the guest list consisted of people who would enjoy the weekend without trashing the place. Low-key partiers, he called them.
Dominic and I went with him to check-in Friday afternoon. Ryan let me have first pick of room. Views from the front overlooked the city and the valley, views from the back were the yard and mountain. I picked the view of the backyard, I’d seen the city plenty. I also claimed the room just across and the one next to it for Kimber and Zack. I knew Kimber had plans to stay in the same room as Zack, but I didn’t like the idea of her feeling obligated if she changed her mind. She probably could have just stayed in my room, but I didn’t think of it at the time. Probably because I was thinking about spending a night sleeping entirely alone — no room mate, no bed mate. I couldn’t even remember the last time it had happened. Ryan picked the room just next to mine. Dominic picked the room on the other side, his date wouldn’t be spending the weekend with us. Probably a good thing since none of us knew who it was and Dominic refused to say. He said he wanted it to be as big of a surprise for us as it was for him when she’d asked, and he’d said yes. For two and a half seconds I had this fear that it might be Kayley, in all her drunk and disorderly party glory. But she’d been way too mopey about being left out for that to be true. And yet she hadn’t planned her own party, so that was suspicious.
Ryan dropped me off at home with about an hour to get ready. Kimber was freaking out. From what I could gather, she was regretting not taking the entire day to get ready, not having her hair done professionally. And to make matters worse, the curling iron wasn’t working and she was so flustered she was beginning to sweat, which was going to ruin both her hair and her dress, and the dance, and the weekend, and her whole life.
Aunt Josie was lamaze breathing at her, telling her to just breathe, Kayley got her an ice pack, and discovered that the curling iron wasn’t plugged in. I put on some get ready music, Aunt Josie took on Kimber’s hair and Kayley took on her make-up, following along with a YouTube tutorial for ‘Epic Prom Face’.
I splashed on a bit of make-up, and then a bit more, and I was so tempted to cover my entire person in glitter lotion, but it just doesn’t look as good in pictures as it does in person, so I didn’t. I pulled my hair back in a half up-do, with some braids and plenty of wispy ends. And I gotta say, whoever first came up with this look was a freaking genius because even if your up-do starts to fail, no one can tell, it just means the wisps get a bit thicker — it’s brilliant. My jewelry accessories were all paper creations. My inspiration was the paper ring Ryan had given me. I paired it with origami crane earrings and paper bead bracelets. I wish I could say I was crafty enough to have made them, but the closest I got to crafting was when I sealed the paper ring in clear gel polish to protect it, and that wasn’t even my idea, it was Kayley’s.
I packed a quick bag with just the essentials: no rinse shampoo, toothbrush, basic make-up stuffs, PJs, spare PJ’s because I’ve been to sleepovers with Kimber before. I tossed in a couple of versatile outfits keeping Kimber and her current stress levels in mind, a couple of swimsuits because Kimber again, socks I wouldn’t use, and five times the amount of underwear I would need, just because.
Kimber and Zack were going with a group who’d rented a stretch limousine for the evening. Kimber texted and told him to pick her up last. And she was mostly back to her normal self by the time Aunt Josie zipped up the back of her rosey red dress with lace embroidered bodice. It was also a Julian Romero design. It was the dress that had originally been intended for me to wear to prom, and now altered for Kimber, so it was a little snug in the boobs; no downside, they looked amazing — she! I mean, she looked amazing.
Ryan arrived about 15 minutes early, and assured me there was no rush, he was just going to finish getting ready and hang out in the kitchen with Uncle Tate. Smart move really, that room being the furthest away he could physically get from all the dramatics without actually leaving the house. Kimber was taking slow measured breaths and double and triple checking her accessories, and clutch purse.
I brought our bags down and decided to join Ryan and Uncle Tate in the kitchen. I heard Uncle Tate lamenting how fast his baby girls have gown up. I stopped just outside the kitchen to listen in. “It seems like only yesterday the three of them were chasing around after Julian. Now, one of them’s completely run off with him and the other two are just a hop skip and jump from going off in their own direction. It’s crazy. You plan on having kids someday?”
“Someday I’d like to,” Ryan answered. “Say, 10 or 15 years from now.”
Uncle Tate chuckled. “Good answer.”
My thoughts went to the promise I’d made to have a child, possibly children, with Julian, and how when I’d first thought about our future child, I’d envisioned them with dimples. I let my mind fall into a fantasy future with Julian and Ryan and me making three, and raising a baby with them — so really that’s four. It was all beautiful of course, some magical outing to the zoo, Julian and Ryan holding hands, while Julian held an adorable little ba
by creature with hazel eyes and dimpled cheeks, and Julian cooed at it. And I took pictures of the moment, because it was romantic and beautiful and magical!
And impossible.
I don’t know why, but lately I thought about the two of them together a lot. I know they’d get along well, if I could manage the two of them actually meeting, but they were both against the idea. And they both had super lame reasons too. Ryan’s reasoning was that he wasn’t ready to be around a ‘functioning gay man,’ because it would give him an even bigger guilt complex about how he was currently living.
On the other side of that, Julian’s argument was that being around closeted gay men made him uncomfortable. And then he said. “And that goes double for guys named Ryan, or Shane, or Marcus, or Liam.” He wouldn’t explain exactly what he meant, but I had a pretty good recollection of him being into a guy named Shane, and I vaguely recalled him being into a guy named Liam. Marcus didn’t ring any bells, and I couldn’t think of another Ryan other than my Ryan, except for this one guy who I was pretty sure wasn’t gay at all, but if he was in the closet, how would I know? Still, if Julian was talking about my Ryan, he was doing it just to be stubborn.
I felt a little sad that I didn’t know the stories behind Julian’s frustrations, but I guess it’s fair that Jules and I don’t talk about every everything. And it makes me feel infinitely better about all the things I haven’t told him about. That I’m never going to tell him about.
“Nice tux,” I said as I came into the kitchen.
Ryan’s face lit up and his dimples went to eleven when he saw me. “Wow!” he stammered. “You look amazing. Can I touch it?” he pointed at the dress. “I mean, can I like… can I hug you?”
“Yes, of course you can,” I chuckled, throwing my arms wide.
Ryan scooped me up and hugged me close, his head buried in the crook of my neck. He set me down a second later and took a step back to compare the dress to his matching vest and tie. “And, Julian made all of this?”
“Yep.”
“Wow.” Ryan smiled. “It’s absolutely beautiful.”
“Check this out,” I opened my photos app and showed him some of the pictures I’d taken at the shoot. Julian was wearing his own version of the vest, the design of his matching the halter neckline and low-cut back of the dress.
“These are amazing,” Ryan beamed as he flipped through the images. “He’s so talented.” He stopped on the pic of the three outfits hanging on a rack together: vest, dress, vest and tie. “It’s like…” his voice caught. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight. “It’s like a set,” he finished.
I thought I saw a glimmer of something that looked like an impossible, magical outing to the zoo, behind his eyes. It felt very optimistic, but not in a terrible way, it was more hopeful.
I caught sight of Uncle Tate just then, his expression narrowed like he was trying to puzzle something out. “Will you take a picture of us?” I pushed my phone toward him.
Uncle Tate shook off whatever thought he was stumbling around and smiled. “Absolutely, I will. Go stand by the window, kitchen’s make terrible backdrops.”
・❀・❀・❀・
Zack and a small army of formally attired teens arrived a few minutes later in a silver stretch limo.
Just in case you’re curious, this included: Zack, Zack’s friend Devin and his date Mikayla, his friend Wade and his date, Nicole, Erin (from biology) and Kimber’s friend Claire who was her date, Mika and her date Theo, Ambree and her date Joshua, and Ambree’s brother Taylor and his date Hannah.
All in all, it would be 14 people that would be riding in the back of that limo, including Kimber. I’m sure they’d find a way to make it a party, but I couldn’t quite escape the idea that it was basically a bus ride, except without any of the conveniences of riding in a bus — like the ability to stand up, or for my bus excursions: a bathroom, kitchen and beds.
Made me happy Ryan had insisted on driving.
It would be an easy assumption that Ryan is a stretch limo kind of guy, considering his love of pointlessly spending money, but he’s not. He likes to drive, and he gets car sick. Not facing forward makes it worse so, unless he was driving the limo or at least riding in the front seat, it’s just not his thing.
Many pictures were taken in front of the house, Ryan put mine and Kimber’s bags in his Rover, more pictures were taken, and Ryan and I left. Kimber sent me a picture of Ryan’s car at the end of the street. I think it’s the perfect example of over-documenting.
・❀・❀・❀・
I’d already decided, many months before, that prom was going to be amazing. How could it not be? I was going dancing with friends, wearing a fabulous dress and comfortable shoes. On top of that, I knew Ryan had his own plans to make this an epic and unforgettable weekend.
Prom was being hosted in the Grande Ballroom at the Embassy Hotel, dinner was an option, but not for Ryan. He booked the rooftop of Sage Eats, across the street. He extended the invite to everybody we knew, but it ended up being a mix of our friends who decided to eat on the roof, and those who decided to eat at the hotel.
Dominic arrived first and was waiting for us with his date — Aimee Millington. AKA Aimee GPA, AKA our valedictorian.
I was surprised.
Everybody was surprised.
Dominic was wearing a traditional tux, but the jacket was Royal blue with black trim. He looked good enough to eat. And I’m not just saying that because I’d skipped lunch that day. Aimee was wearing a black dress with a royal blue sash tied around the waist that matched perfectly. “Told you’d they’d be surprised,” Dominic said to our wide-eyed expressions.
“Oh, I have to hear how this came to be,” I leaned in to give Aimee a mini hug.
“It made sense,” Aimee offered.
“Not to be rude, but how?” I looked to Dominic.
He chuckled. “Sorry Aims, you gotta know Katie’s not going to let you off the hook that easy. She reads. She wants the whole story, gory details and all.“
“Okay,” Aimee’s brow furrowed into thought. It was the same look she got during pop quizzes in biology. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Chris Wisowitz and I weren’t working out as a high school couple.”
I didn’t even know they were any kind of couple. I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“As if one more month would have killed him?” she sighed. “Anyway, the day I thought he’d come over to officially ask me to prom, he tells me he’s been spending time with this sophomore girl he was really into and he wanted to ask her to prom instead. So, we broke up. Unfortunately for him, her parent’s won’t let her date until she’s 16, which doesn’t happen until June, and I would rather stay home and read the dictionary backwards than be a second choice pity date. But, as I was returning the dress I was never going to wear, I ran into Dominic who was buying that kind of amazing blue jacket,” she motioned toward him. “We got to talking about prom, and he mentioned he was going alone, and I just asked him if he’d like to be my date, and he said—” Aimee waved toward him.
“I would,” Dominic finished.
“I love that story,” I smiled.
Dominic lifted a finger, he had more to add. “Her tie, sash thing, was red at first. She had them switch it out for blue so she could match this epic piece of art you see before you,” Dominic showcased his jacket with a wave of his hand.
“You paid a lot for that didn’t you?” Ryan jabbed.
“I didn’t,” Dominic grinned, “that’s what makes it so epic.”
Ryan ordered appetizers and we chatted and snacked while everybody arrived. As if it needs saying, dinner was amazing. I mean, of course it was, Ryan picked the place. And the view was pretty spectacular too. The sun was just beginning to set when we decided to make our way across the street to where the actual prom was taking place. Most people had already gone over, but there were a few of us who were lingering at the restaurant, Erin and Claire, Mika and Theo, Dominic and A
imee, and us.
Ryan pointed out that it was all the not quite traditional dates.
I asked the waiter to take a picture of all of us. I wanted to see where we’d all be in five years, ten years. Would we all even know each other anymore? I hoped so.
・❀・❀・❀・
Prom dance meant prom pictures. Couple after couple slightly facing each other, smiling at the camera. “We can’t let that happen,” Ryan grinned with an idea as we waited our turn in front of the camera.
So when it came time for our photo, we posed a little differently. We were holding hands between us. Ryan held his phone like he was taking a selfie, I kicked my leg out and held my skirt out to the side and dropped it just before the picture was taken. It looks like we were just traipsing along across a cheesy city backdrop, taking a selfie, and somebody snapped our picture. Which is exactly what we were doing. It looks so fake — like a stage play. It’s one of my all time favorite pics of us, ever. There’s no way I wasn’t going to one day have it printed, frame it, and set it somewhere I’d see it if I was ever having a bad day.
Kimber came running over to greet us as we made our way into the ballroom. “Omigawd, you guys? Where have you been? I was starting to think you weren’t coming or something.”
“Really?” Ryan lifted a brow.
“Kims, it’s been like 20 minutes.”
“Okay, whatever, I need to talk to you.” She pulled me away from Ryan, who trailed a few steps behind. Satisfied that we were alone enough she leaned in and whispered, “I forgot the condoms.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “No worries. Ryan thought about that. There’s some at the cabin place.” I was never really sure what to call it.
Kimber didn’t look relieved. “Yeah, cool, but I forgot the ones I bought. And I’m pretty sure I left them on the bathroom counter and I’m kind of freaking out right now,” she started doing panicked mini jumps and waving her hands rapidly.
Kit Kat & Katie Did Page 44
