Hex Crimes

by Dorie, Sarina

  She stood and straightened her dress. “It’s about time.”

  Thatch shoved me forward. “I told you it wasn’t necessary for you to wait.” He stepped into the room, just inside the door, something I’d never seen him do before. He was such a stickler for school rules, it caught me off guard.

  Vega gazed at me with the kind of bedroom eyes that would have made Marilyn Monroe jealous. “Why is your hair wet?”

  I looked to Thatch, afraid he might hex my lips closed if I answered. He didn’t intervene.

  “I was showering?” It came out as a question.

  His hair at least was dry. I should have asked him to use his hair-dryer spell on me.

  Vega looked me up and down, her scrutiny equal to that of a lion about to take down a gazelle. “No, you weren’t. I checked the showers an hour ago.”

  “Did you check forty-five minutes ago? Half an hour ago?” Thatch asked coolly.

  He was so smooth, I didn’t know how anyone could tell when he was lying. It made me wonder about all those times I had hoped he was telling me the truth. I still didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t, regarding his past.

  Vega lifted her chin at him. “What are you still doing here?”

  “I came to offer my services for your troubles. Do you wish me to create a safe portal for you to leave by?” he asked.

  She rotated her wrist, and a slender wand appeared in her hand. It was twisted and black like her soul. “I’m perfectly capable of making my own portal.”

  I crossed my arms. “Why is she allowed to break the rules but I’m not?”

  “Hush.” He didn’t shift his gaze from her eyes. “I know you are quite capable. I was simply being . . . chivalrous. If you’re going dancing, transportation will use up energy you might otherwise prefer to spend seducing mortals and stealing their souls. Or whatever it is you do with your Morties.”

  “Dance. I just dance with humans. God! What is wrong with you? I don’t know why they thought you were intelligent enough to be department head. I reserve seducing for Witchkin and Fae.” She waved her wand in an arc that sparkled like diamonds. Inside the oval she created, the air wavered and warbled. The shimmering frame expanded.

  I stepped back.

  Her irritation melted away as she gazed into the portal. She looked as pleased as a Venus flytrap that had swallowed a canary. “And as it happens, I have a very full evening of seduction ahead of me. If you’ll excuse me. . . .”

  Not once in all the time that I had known Vega had she ever mentioned an interest in a living man, Witchkin or Fae. She’d shown me dead bodies in the crypt that she found attractive. She’d obsessed over her supposed soul mate from a past life, forcing me to pore over his photograph in the yearbooks with her. Several times she’d alluded to going on dates with Elric, but I didn’t believe she had any interest in him. She was just letting him try to make me jealous—which hadn’t worked—because he’d taken her dancing.

  The portal stretched large enough for Vega to step through without ducking. Within, a smoky bar was filled with people dancing, though no sound traveled beyond the fabric of that other place.

  I edged around the hole in time and space, wanting to catch sight of her date. I wondered if he was a zombie or a vampire or something undead. The people in the swing club looked normal, aside from their outdated fashion tastes.

  “What time do you intend to return?” Thatch asked.

  “Whatever fucking time I want.” She picked up a beaded purse from the bed and tucked her wand inside.

  Thatch lifted his chin. “It isn’t safe to leave a portal open like this for hours in Miss Lawrence’s room with the Raven Court and all sundry of Fae wishing to kidnap her. I will close it after you leave and erase all residue so that no one will be able to penetrate any cracks in our wards—”

  “Whatever.” Vega glided through, flipping the bird at him before she disappeared. The portal snapped closed behind her, clicking and whirring like a camera shutter.

  Thatch poked at the air with his wand, uttering incantations. I smelled his magic more than saw it: starlight and the taste of piano music confusing my senses. Purple flashes of light framed his hands as he worked. I sank onto my bed, watching in awe.

  He was winded when he was through.

  “Wow,” I said. “That looked like a lot of work.”

  “Only because you took up so much of my stored energy earlier.”

  I grinned. “Want to cuddle before you go back to your room?”

  “You may like to live dangerously, Miss Lawrence, but I do not.” He dipped his head, a sardonic smile on his face. “Good night.”

  He left and closed the door behind him without giving me so much as a kiss. My shoulders sank.

  Felix Thatch was back to his terse and proper self. How disappointing. For a few hours he had been friendly and playful. I could have believed he loved me. It was one thing to adopt a pretense of being grumpy when Vega was present, it was another to be brusque and snappy when it was only the two of us.

  It appeared it took more than kisses and orgasms to break Prince Charming’s curse. I squared my shoulders. I was up for the challenge.

  END OF EXCERPT

  For the rest of the novel, go to Sarina Dorie’s website for information about the next book in the series:

  https://sarinadorie.com/writing/novels/wombys-school-for-wayward-witches

  If you enjoyed this cozy witch mystery in the Womby’s School for Wayward Witches Series please leave a review on the online retailer where you purchased this collection. You might also enjoy free short stories published by the author on her website: http://sarinadorie.com/writing/short-stories.

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Sarina Dorie has sold over 150 short stories to markets like Analog, Daily Science Fiction, Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Orson Scott Card’s IGMS, Cosmos, and Abyss and Apex. Her stories and published novels have won humor and Romance Writer of America awards. She has sold three novels to publishers. Her steampunk romance series, The Memory Thief and her collections, Fairies, Robots and Unicorns—Oh My! and Ghosts, Werewolves and Zombies—Oh My! are available on Amazon, along with a dozen other novels she has written.

  A few of her favorite things include: gluten-free brownies (not necessarily glutton-free), Star Trek, steampunk aesthetics, fairies, Severus Snape, Captain Jack Sparrow, and Mr. Darcy.

  By day, Sarina is a public-school art teacher, artist, belly dance performer and instructor, copy editor, fashion designer, event organizer and probably a few other things. By night, she writes. As you might imagine, this leaves little time for sleep.