by KA Graham
Mr. Grey never disappoints, but two bottles in, and I’m past the point of buzzed and missing Dominic already. I can’t even go one night without him? I've become one of those annoying, clingy girlfriends that latch onto their men.
Speaking of my man, I should text him.
Me: Hey sexy baby daddy. Wazzzup?
Dominic: Someone’s been hitting the bottle. Baby daddy? In your dreams, Sparrow.
Me: Nah uh nooope. Now. Why do you think I’m so fat?
Dominic: First of all, you're not fat. Not even close. You're gorgeous and sinful. ATM you're very drunk, and talking out of your ass.
Me: See, you think my aszz is fat!
Dominic: Sparrow, go to bed, you've had enough. I love you, my drunk girl.
Me: Not enough to be my baby daddy, though. It’s ok, I knew you'd leave or get sick of me eventually.
Dominic: Isabella, stop this, right now! The fuck I don’t love you, but right now you need to be spanked. Naughty girls that say stupid shit need to be punished.
Me: Promises, promises…
Dominic: Goodnight, Isabella. I'll see you soon. Sooner than you think.
What the hell does that mean? My head’s spinning and I see a tile floor and toilet in my near future. Damn Raelynn and her delicious wine!
“Cracker, you're talking out loud again. Go to bed, before you say anything else you may regret in the morning.”
“Fine, Bossy Baboon…” I shuffle down the hallway, making a beeline for the bathroom as I hear laughter behind me. Son of a whore, it’s going to be a long night. I guess I'll be seeing the tile floor sooner than I expected.
I think it’s time to limit my wine intake.
32
Insert foot into mouth.
Do you ever get the feeling someone's staring at you while you sleep? Well, it’s happening to me right now, but it’s not just a feeling, it’s a fact. Somehow I knew he'd show up and grace me with his presence.
“Morning, princess. How's the head?”
“Cut the shit, Dominic. I feel like death!” Grabbing my aching head, I don’t remember drinking so much, but it’s quite obvious I may have overdone it last night. The bastard is mocking me, and if I didn't love his sexy ass so damn much, I'd throat punch him.
“Isabella, you're talking out loud.”
I'll never learn…
“Whatever. Why are you here? Not that I mind seeing your face, I just didn’t expect it to be across from me this morning.”
The look on his face says he wants to punish and ravish me all at once.
“Let me make this simple for you, Sparrow. I was worried about you. You had too much to drink. You were saying stupid shit. And last but far from least, when the day comes that you're pregnant with my child, and I promise you that day will come, I will be the happiest fucking man on this godforsaken planet. Understand?”
Oh, God. What did I say last night? I'm not pregnant, I know that for sure, so what the hell? And how did I get on the couch when I remember going to sleep in my bed?
“I'm sorry for whatever spewage came from my mouth last night. I love you, Dominic. I still have insecurity issues, probably always will to a certain extent. I trust you, I just don’t trust myself not to screw things up, but I'm trying. Take me home?”
“You need to trust that I love you. That I'd never hurt you. I'm not in any way Jackson. You’re mine forever, Isabella. You are my home.”
I get up from where I'm lying on the couch, and straddle him on the chair. Sucking his bottom lip into my mouth, then lightly biting it, I want to crawl inside him and never leave. I crave every inch of his sinful body and mind.
Before things get out of control, and the fact I forgot where we were for a minute, in walks Raelynn with Dixie at her heels.
“No dirty sex on my chair, you two. I just had it cleaned for Christ’s sake!”
Dixie jumps up onto the chair with us and starts growling at Dominic. I guess my girl doesn't like my guy too much.
“Jealous much, Dixie Girl? I feel the urge to cover my balls before she decides to chew them off. Damn women!”
Raelynn hands me a cup of coffee, and I could kiss her right now. “Aww, you do love me!” Before she can swat me for being a smartass, I head to the bathroom with my coffee, and take a quick shower.
Pulling on my hoodie and jeans, I can hear Raelynn and Dominic quietly talking to one another. I slowly pull the bathroom door open and try to listen in without getting caught.
“Dominic, she may think she has her shit together, but she’s lying to herself. I can see it in her eyes. The eyes never tell a lie.”
“I agree, Miss Raelynn, and I'm trying here, I really am. We both have shit to deal with and overcome. I just hope she gives us a chance to do it together.”
“If she didn’t trust you, she’d be long gone by now. If her past with Jackson has taught her anything, it’s to let go of the things that hurt you, not heal you.”
“I understand, and I'd do anything to make her happy. She’s my light, even if she doesn't see it.”
“What are you two whispering about?” I try not to startle them or act like I was just stalking them from the hallway. They're both right though. I don’t have my shit together, and I need to try harder. For myself and them.
“Just waiting for you to get that sexy ass back to me. You ready to go?” Dominic presses me to his chest, kissing the top of my head in a protective way.
“Ready as I'll ever be, Mr. Barnes.” I give him a wink and run out the front door, yelling my goodbye to Raelynn. I hear her chuckle from behind me. “You better run, Cracker!”
“I told Miss Raelynn we’d be back for your hunk of junk in the morning.”
“She doesn't like it when you insult her! That car runs perfectly fine.”
“Sure does, for a run down piece of shit. Don’t worry, Sparrow. The situation will soon be taken care of.”
“Now she’s a situation?” I teasingly glare at him knowing whatever he has planned is something I won't be able to stop anyways.
I notice we’re driving in the opposite direction of his place. I'm curious now, seeing how the last surprise outing had me at a cemetery.
“No questions right now, Sparrow, just enjoy the ride. I can see the wheels turning in that overthinking brain of yours.” He grabs my hand, kissing my knuckles then settling it onto his lap.
Overthinking is what I'm best at... unfortunately.
33
Sins from the past reach out and touch our present.
We’ve been driving about an hour when we pull into a long and winding dirt road that looks like it leads to certain death. Finally, we reach the end, and it faces a black wrought iron gate. When I read the sign on the gate, I feel a mix of shock and honor that he’s brought me here.
Rolling Hills State Mental Hospital
“Tyler requested to see me. I prayed for this day, but never imagined it would come. I've kept in constant contact with Dr. Silverman, and he’s even surprised. I don’t know the reaction I will get from my brother, but I’ll take whatever he’s willing to give me.”
“Dominic, I know this means everything to you, and I'm happy you get the chance to talk with him. I'll be right here waiting for you.”
“I love you so damn much, Isabella.”
“Always and forever, Dominic. Now go see your brother. Thank you for wanting me by your side.”
“I don’t want you, Sparrow, I need you.”
Dominic
Getting through security at this place is like hell. I feel violated in all the right places, by all the wrong people. I guess they weren't kidding when they said these facilities were locked down tighter than a virgin’s pussy.
Yeah, I said it.
Jesus, Isabella and her mind rambling are rubbing off on me. Rubbing off. Now I’m hard and definitely going to punish my Sparrow for this, although she likes being punished. Damn woman has me in knots.
Trying to get my mind back on track, I make my way to Dr. Sil
verman’s office first, figuring I should get a heads up before throwing myself straight into the lion’s den. I'm still leery about this sudden urge of Tyler’s to want contact after almost two years. I've tried my damnedest to get him to see me with no such luck.
“Mr. Barnes, nice to see you.” Dr. Silverman is behind his desk, tapping his pen to his teeth which makes me questionably nervous for some reason.
“You too, Dr. Silverman. Although I'd rather my brother had never needed this place, to begin with. No disrespect, but I'm sure you can understand where I'm coming from?”
“Indeed I do, Mr. Barnes, indeed I do. Tyler has his good days and bad days, as you are well aware of. The past few months, he’s been speaking more about you and your father, then he requested to see you both. As I told you over the phone, your father has denied all contact with either of you. I'm sorry.”
“I'm not. If the old, stubborn bastard doesn't want to see the sons he left behind to fend for themselves, so be it. We don’t need him. As far as I'm concerned.”
“Well then, are you ready to see Tyler? I've requested he be brought into a private family room, but be aware. It will be monitored from outside. Safety precautions for the both of you.” He studies me, making sure I get what he’s saying.
“I understand, Doc. Hell, I'm ready as I'll ever be. Let's get this dog and pony show on the road.” I have so many emotions running through my body right now, I get why Isabella is the way she is. I've buried so much within me these past few years that if it wasn't for my Sparrow, I'd have drowned in them by now. She pulled me back, and I will do everything in my power to do the same for her.
The doc and I are escorted to the family room, and as the door slowly opens, I see Tyler sitting at a table near the window. My heart sinks to my feet seeing the shell of a man I once looked up to. He may be my little brother, but he was always the stronger one until life fucked him over.
Tyler is brought out of the trance he seems to be in when he hears Dr. Silverman call his name. “Tyler, I have someone here that would like to speak to you. I'll be right outside if either of you need me.” Tyler gives him a slight nod of his head while looking straight at me.
“Hey, little brother. I've missed you.” With those words, Tyler starts to tear up, and everything I've been holding inside starts to crumble.
I've missed him so much.
I walk toward him, and he stands in front of me with his hand out. “Nice to see you too, Dom.” Fuck a handshake. I maul him, not caring if I scare the shit out of him or not. I need him to know I love him and that he’s not alone in this. Our bastard father may not give two shits about him, but he’s my brother, and he’s all I have left.
“It’s been a long time brother. Too long.” He sits back down in his chair with a dumbfounded look on his face.
Yeah, I scared the shit out of him.
“Thanks for showing up. I wasn't sure if you'd want to after the way I've treated you.” The spark in his eye is long gone, but I can see the old Tyler in there. He just needs to free himself from the prison he’s put himself in.
“Water under the bridge, little brother. I've been waiting for this day, and honestly, I never thought it would come.”
“I'm sorry for that, but I just wasn't ready to face you. I'm still not sure if I'm ready, but I'm trying. I haven’t wanted to try. It was too much to even think about. I still see her face, even when I'm awake. It haunts me every day, and I'm fucking tired, Dom, I'm so fucking tired. I want my life back. I want to be able to fucking breathe again.”
“I can’t say I know what you're going through, but I'm here for you, Tyler. If you want or need me, I'm here. I love you, little brother.”
“I just can’t seem to get over that night. Why did this happen? Why didn’t you get there sooner? Why didn’t I get there sooner? So much blood. So much fucking blood. Her eyes. How could I think she was just sleeping? Why hasn't the maniac been caught? So much fucking blood!” I can see he’s losing the little bit of control he has, so I try to change the subject when the silence takes over the both of us.
“I have someone I'd like you to meet when you're ready. Her name’s Isabella, and I think you'd really like her.”
“Are you telling me you're in love? I didn't think that was possible. It doesn't exist in my world. Why do you deserve to be happy? You took my wife from me, you piece of shit. You could've saved her, but you didn’t. She’s fucking dead. You killed her.” Tyler starts pounding his fists against my chest, sobbing, and I let him. I deserve this much.
“It’s ok Ty, get it out. Hate on me all you want, but I'm not giving up on you. You hear me?” He begins to go slack in my arms and hugs me back. He actually hugs me, and that's a huge step in itself.
Dr. Silverman must've heard the shouting, because he swiftly enters the room, scanning the surroundings. When he spots us hugging, I can see he’s somewhat confused, yet put at ease.
“I'm sorry, Dom, I'm so sorry. I know you aren't to blame, it’s just been easier to put the blame on you. My mind is still so fucked up, but I swear to you I'm trying. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want this to be the end of my story... or life.”
“I want that, too, Ty. Together. We do it together from now on. Are you ok with that?” I look him in the eyes so he can see the truth behind my words. I need Tyler to trust in me again.
“Will you come back and see me again, Dom?” I see hope in his eyes, and I'm elated. Maybe this is the beginning of getting my little brother back, and I will do whatever the fuck it takes to make things right between us.
“You bet your ugly ass I will. Who else is going to put up with your beatings? I love you, Tyler.”
“I love you too, Dom, I always have. Just give me some more time. I promise I'm trying. I want my best friend back.”
“You got it, Tyler. See you soon.”
I see a glimmer of hope for our future as a family again, and it’s all a man could ask for. The world could take a shit today, and I'd be a happy man.
34
A letter can say so much more than spoken words.
I'm pacing through Dominic's kitchen when he comes up behind me, startling the shit out of me. He’s lucky I didn’t have a knife in my hand, or his cock would be missing its balls.
“Damn, Sparrow. What's got you so wound up this morning? Did you miss my cock that much? I mean, it has been hours since you've seen it, so I can understand.”
“Asshole.” I smile at him even though I'd like to punch that knowing smirk right off his smug face.
“I may be an asshole, but you love me, and you're stuck with me. So you going to tell me what's going on in that gorgeous little head of yours?”
I've been carrying around this damn letter for days now, not wanting to open it, but I’m going out of my mind over what Jackson must have to say. He can still mindfuck me, even after all this time, and it pisses me off.
Here goes nothing.
“I got a letter from Jackson a few days ago. I haven’t opened it yet, and I'm scared to. I don’t even know how he got Raelynn’s address. I must've given it to the rehab center when I was filling out the visitor’s info.”
“Whatever that dickwad has to say, just know and trust he can’t hurt you anymore unless you let him. I know it’s hard to let go because he was your life for many years. But you’re mine now, Isabella, and I'd take a fucking bullet for you.”
“You're right, Dominic, but my heart and mind are still battling each other. Just like you, I feel I failed someone I loved. I'm not a quitter, but I had no choice. He left me no choice.”
“I'm here for you, always, Isabella. When you're ready to read it, I’ll be right by your side. If that's what you want?”
“I couldn’t do it without you. Please…” I'm in awe of this man, more and more every day. Grabbing his hand, I drag him toward the living room. Once we’re both seated on the couch, I pull out the letter from my pocket.
My beautiful Bella,
I bet you
didn’t think you'd ever hear from me again, or I'm sure that's what you were hoping. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you, and I still do. I will until I take my last breath.
I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, and to us. We were supposed to be forever, and my addictions and sinful actions ruined that. I will hold that guilt upon my shoulders for the rest of my life.
If it gives you any kind of comfort, karma’s officially bitten me on the balls. I don’t expect or deserve your sympathy, but I'm living in the hell I've created for myself.
I want you to be happy, the kind of happy I wasn’t capable of giving you. I loathe Dominic with every fiber of my being for the simple fact that he has what's mine. I hope he knows what a lucky bastard he truly is. Yes, I will always consider you MINE.
For now, I'm saying goodbye, but don’t think I'll ever forget about you. It will NEVER happen. Until we meet again.
I love you, my beautiful Bella.
What the actual fuck? I'm so confused by his words and mixed messages, I'm nauseous and freaking out. Until we meet again? Really? Was this an apology or a threat?
“Isabella, look at me, please.” Shit! I forgot I wasn't alone.
“He’s still fucking with me, Dominic. When's it going to end? I can’t keep playing this game with him. Can’t you see what he’s saying? He’s never going to let me be free of him.”
“Do you trust me, Sparrow?” His whole body is shaking, and I can feel the emotions rolling off of him like waves to the ocean crashing on the shore.
