by Sarah Noffke
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“You need me,” Evan sang when Sophia joined him outside the Fantastical Armory.
She sighed, realizing this would be a painfully irritating experience. “The fairy godmother college needs your help. Without it, the whole place could be destroyed.”
Evan pursed his lips and nodded. “Sounds like I’m pretty important and once again, going to swoop in and save the day with my bravery, intellect, and all-around awesomeness.”
“I only need you to pick a flower, and only chose you because of your relationship status,” Sophia explained.
“Relationship status?” Evan questioned. “I have myself marked as ‘it’s complicated’ on social media.”
She nodded. “You would. You’re totally the type to do that kind of thing.”
“I’m married to a woman who I never see,” Evan argued. “Speaking of which, I need to annul that mess so I can get my life back to normal.”
Sophia shook her head. “Not quite yet. It’s because you’re married that I need your help.”
Evan narrowed his eyes at her. “So you aren’t asking for my help because you’re having trouble opening a lid on a jar with your tiny hands or can’t lift that big sword of yours because it’s so heavy?”
Sophia rolled her eyes at him. “No, I’m good. I need you to pick a flower and be on your way. Then you can annul this bogus marriage.”
“But what will happen to Tiffannee after I break her heart? She’ll be ruined for any other man for life.”
“Yet, I think she’ll find a way to carry on.”
“Okay, where is this flower you need us to pick?”
“Bep gave me a sort of location,” Sophia explained.
“Sort of location?”
She nodded. “That’s how the people in my life do things. They give me enough information to send me on a wild goose hunt although they probably could tell me what I need to know directly.”
“They’re trying to make you stronger,” Evan stated matter-of-factly. “We all are. It takes a village to raise a little Pink Princess. If we did everything for you, then you wouldn’t learn how to do it yourself.”
“Right,” Sophia said as they strode toward Subner’s shop, where Sophia hoped that Tiffannee was still located and helping the elf. Otherwise, they’d have to travel to Baton Rouge again. “After we pick up your wife, I need to swing by the Castle to get my Hidden Places book of maps. It should tell me where we need to go based on the cryptic clues that Bep gave me.”
“You think that Tiffannee can get into the Gullington?” Evan asked.
Sophia nodded. “Yes, because she’s your wife. Technically, she’s working for the Dragon Elite by helping us out. That’s how that Barrier works anyway.”
Evan’s eyes shone brightly. “Man, it’s going to be doubly hard for Tiffannee to let me go when she sees me in my Castle, looking all regal and being tough with my dragon.”
“Ummm…it’s not your castle,” Sophia corrected. “It belongs to the Dragon Elite.”
“She doesn’t need to know that,” Evan argued at once.
“But I’m indebted to telling the truth,” Sophia teased. “It’s part of my duty to honor.”
“Therefore I have to inform Wilder that you have tapeworms that you got from petting alley cats and not washing your hands.”
“But I don’t,” Sophia argued while striding up the stairs to the Fantastical Armory.
“Yeah, but I don’t have that same affliction as you about telling the truth.” Evan winked at her as they entered the store.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“I’ll take the cookie you brought me now,” Papa Creola said to Sophia when she and Evan entered the Fantastical Armory.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I didn’t bring you a cookie.” She looked around the shop for Tiffannee and Subner. They weren’t there, but she hoped that meant they were in the back.
“I’m sorry that you didn’t notice when Lee slipped it into your cloak pocket when you were in the Crying Cat Bakery,” Father Time stated and snapped his fingers at her. “A dragonrider for the Elite really should notice such things.”
Sophia rolled her eyes. “If the baker assassin stuck something in my pocket, then I’d know about it.”
Evan slid his hand into Sophia’s cloak pocket without asking permission and withdrew a large cookie wrapped in a soft paper towel. “Oh, I don’t know about that, Pink Princess. You might not be as keen as you think.”
Sophia’s eyes widened with disbelief. “How… When…”
“About the time you were avoiding getting your head chopped off,” Papa Creola informed her as he stepped forward and took the cookie from Evan.
“Oh, well, yeah, then I probably wasn’t paying much attention to what was going into my pocket,” Sophia related and added, “How did Lee know to give me a cookie for you?”
Papa Creola took a bite and shrugged. “I had a craving for a cookie. That’s really all it takes for me to get what I want.”
“You’re a very strange man.” Sophia watched as crumbs flaked from Papa Creola’s lips as he chewed. “Is Subner around?”
“He’s in the back, getting his final assessment from Dr. Freud,” Papa Creola answered. “They’ll be wrapping up in the next twenty-six seconds.”
Sophia laughed. “Can you be a little more specific?”
He lowered his chin and gave her an unamused expression.
“I know,” Evan agreed. “This little young’un never knows when to joke and when to be serious.”
“That’s exactly what most say about you, Mr. McIntosh.” Papa Creola popped the rest of the cookie in his mouth.
“So you know why I’m here?” Sophia asked the elf. “Can you offer any input on finding this magical thistle?”
“It’s in Scotland,” Papa Creola stated simply.
Sophia sighed, feeling that she should have expected this. “Anything a little more specific?”
“On a hill,” he added.
Sophia gave Evan a sideways look. “Is he trying to make me stronger?”
He nodded. “Yes, as a whole, the entire village is.”
Sophia glanced up as Subner and Tiffannee entered from the back room. The doctor carried a clipboard and appeared surprised to see Sophia and Evan there.
Subner’s new appearance would take some getting used to. Sophia had to remind herself that when the elf aligned himself after the personality schism, his looks had changed. He was still an elf, but thankfully not a hippie anymore. Instead, he appeared like a regular person with his long black hair and normal street clothes.
“Hey there, darling,” Evan gushed and rushed over to Tiffannee. “Have you missed me? I’m certain that not a second has gone by where you weren’t thinking of me.”
She grimaced at him and yanked back her hand that he’d grabbed.
“Over six hundred thousand,” Papa Creola stated dryly.
Sophia narrowed her eyes at Father Time. “Six hundred thousand what?”
“It’s been over six hundred thousand seconds since Dr. Freud has thought about Mr. Mcintosh,” Papa Creola answered.
She nodded. “So not at all this week, then.”
Evan pursed his lips. “I get it. You’ve buried yourself in your work. That’s probably for the best.”
“Anyway, please excuse the clown that I forced you to marry,” Sophia began.
“Well, it worked to get me here,” Tiffannee replied in a formal tone. “Subner has passed the final assessment, so my job here is done, and I can return to my clients and home. I’m sure that many wonder what’s happened to me.”
Papa Creola shook his head. “No, they don’t know you’re gone. I fixed that.”
Sophia grinned. “You would have, wouldn’t you?”
“Anyway, regardless, I’m anxious to get home and return to normalcy.” Tiffannee looked around at the shop full of magical weapons with her persistent speculation mixed with hesitation.
“I’m sure
you are,” Sophia began, “but first, I have something I need you and Evan to attend to.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Tiffannee said with relief. “Our marriage. We need to get it annulled.”
“Totally heartbroken then, huh?” Evan asked bitterly. “You little she-devil. You’re going to move right on, aren’t you?”
“Actually, it is about the marriage,” Sophia stated. “But I hoped you wouldn’t get it annulled yet. I need help with a task, and it requires a married couple.”
“Is this like when we got married so I could get onto Roya Lane?” Tiffannee asked.
“Strangely, yes,” Sophia answered. “I need a married couple to go with me to Scotland to pick a magical thistle.”
The doctor scratched her head. “I thought you all were dragonriders. That doesn’t seem like something they’d do.”
“The job description is quite lengthy and has a lot of loose language,” Sophia replied. “Can you help me out with this? I’ll try and make it as fast and straightforward as possible.”
“But I have to do it with him?” Tiffannee pointed at Evan, hesitation heavy in her voice.
Sophia nodded. “Unfortunately. You two have to pick it together, I believe.”
“I think what you meant to say was, ‘Oh, I get the honor of spending more time with my darling husband,” Evan quipped, his arms folded across his chest.
Tiffannee shook her head. “That’s not what I meant to say.” She returned her focus to Sophia. “Then after that, I can annul the marriage and go back to my life?”
Sophia nodded. “Yes, and I’ll be indebted to you. If you ever need something from the Dragon Elite or help from a fairy godmother, then we’ll have you covered.”
“What would I need help from a fairy godmother for?” Tiffannee asked.
Sophia shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you need a date for a ball or something.”
“She’s married,” Evan cut in.
Tiffannee shook her head at her husband. “Let’s go pick this thistle as fast as possible. I have a life to get back to and a marriage to annul.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“When you say ‘as fast as possible,’” Evan tentatively said as they stepped through the portal outside the Barrier to the Gullington, “you’re referring to getting back to your life, right?”
“Whoa!” Tiffannee exclaimed as they stepped through the Barrier and the Castle and grounds took shape around them. “This is where the Dragon Elite live?”
“That’s right, baby,” Evan said proudly. “Welcome to my castle. Bet you’re rethinking this annulment business now that you realize I’m loaded.”
“Yeah, loaded full of bull—”
The scolding glare Evan shot Sophia cut off her words. She decided she’d let him have this one with Tiffannee since it didn’t much matter to her.
“It’s a real castle,” the doctor said, still in awe. “Does it have a dungeon like some? Is it drafty and cold like the ones I’ve read about?”
“Depends on how the gnome feels,” Evan answered, which produced a confused expression on Tiffannee’s face.
“I’ll be fast.” Sophia hurried to the front of the Castle. “I need to grab a book. Then we can find out where this thistle is and head in that direction.”
“It’s in Scotland.” Evan repeated Papa Creola’s words.
“Thanks,” Sophia muttered dryly over her shoulder. “You’re the pillar of helpfulness.”
“Glad you’re starting to recognize it,” Evan said smugly and hurried after Sophia.
The dragonriders were so much faster than the mortal that they left Tiffannee behind fairly quickly. The doctor also lagged because she was taking in so many of the details around the Gullington. She’d spotted the elder dragons sunning themselves on the Expanse in front of the Cave, enjoying a rare bit of sun for that time of year.
“Wait for me in the entryway. I’ll run up to my room and get the book,” Sophia told Evan as they approached the Castle.
Tiffannee had to jog to keep up and was nearly out of breath when they reached the front doorsteps.
“I allow Sophia free room and board and only recently moved her out of the servant’s wing,” Evan said smugly to the mortal.
Sophia had to restrain herself from laughing. “Yes, my laird is so hospitable and kind. He puts up with us peasants, allowing us to walk on the same ground as him.”
Evan patted his chest. “’Tis true. Although enduring your smell has taken the full extent of my patience.”
Sophia waved at Trin as she sped through the front door, then took the steps to the great staircase two at a time. “Hey, Trin. Bye, Trin. In a hurry. Promised Dr. Freud I wouldn’t make her spend any more time with Evan than she had to.”
“Doctor…” Trin’s eyes widened, and the cyborg swiveled one toward the entrance although she still looked in Sophia’s direction. “You don’t mean…”
“I do,” Sophia replied over her shoulder while sprinting for her room. “Evan’s wife has come to join us briefly for a mission. Will you please offer her something to eat? I’ll be back in a moment.”
From over Sophia’s shoulder, she heard what she could have sworn was a grunt of frustration from the cyborg housekeeper. However, she ignored it, burst into her room, and grabbed the book, Hidden Places from its hiding place in the vault in the wall that Quiet had installed for her to keep Baba Yaga’s grimoire as well as the Complete History of Dragonriders and Hidden Places.
A moment later, she sped back down the stairs toward the entryway where the scene wasn’t at all what Sophia expected. Trin wasn’t offering Tiffannee a drink or a snack. She also wasn’t dusting like she’d been doing when they’d entered the Castle. Instead, she had her hands on her hips, and one of the angriest expressions Sophia had seen her wear.
Conversely, Tiffannee looked the cyborg over like she was…well, a cyborg. Most mortals had never set eyes on something as strange looking as Trin. For that matter, most magical creatures too. Trin wasn’t merely any cyborg. She was more machine than human now, having been overhauled and deformed by Olento Research.
“Wow, what are you?” Tiffannee stepped backward as if afraid of Trin.
“Trouble,” Trin replied through clenched teeth.
“This is Trin,” Evan boasted. “She’s the housekeeper for the Castle and the coolest cyborg on Earth.”
Trin’s eyes cut to him. “Why did you bring her here?”
“It was the Pink Princess’ idea.” He pointed an accusatory finger at Sophia coming down the stairs, carrying Hidden Places.
“We’ll get out of your hair now.” Sophia offered the cyborg a smile.
“Your hair,” Tiffannee remarked while running her eyes over Trin’s strange hair made of black wires. “What’s wrong with it?”
Trin’s cyborg eye flashed from blue to red.
“Wrong?” Evan asked with a laugh. “Nothing’s wrong with Trin. She can do all sorts of cool stuff. Like my cyborg dog, NO10JO.” He looked around. “Where is my buddy?”
“He’s on the Expanse, helping Quiet with something, I think,” Trin answered.
“You have a cyborg dog?” Tiffannee asked in disbelief. “This place keeps getting weirder and weirder.”
“We recruited you to help Father Time’s assistant assimilate his personality, and you think this is weird?” Sophia had to question.
“I get that we’re newlyweds, but you’ll have to try harder to learn about my life if this is going to work,” Evan joked.
“It’s not going to work,” Tiffannee said snottily. “I’ll help you get the thistle, but then I’m out of here. I can’t spend any more time with you freaks.”
“Out! Out! Out!” Trin yelled as she threw her hands up and nearly pushed the mortal onto the floor.
Sophia, realizing she needed to intervene fast, jumped between the cyborg and Tiffannee, then ushered the doctor out the open Castle door. “We’ll be on our way. Sorry for disturbing you, Trin.”
Sophia
was able to get Tiffannee out of the Castle and close the door before Trin tried to reach across her shoulders and strangle the mortal. Evan spilled out beside them, shock written on his face too.
Something had angered the cyborg about the situation, and Sophia had a hunch it wasn’t merely being offended by the psychiatrist.
Chapter Thirty
It started to rain on the Expanse as they crossed the grounds toward Falconer Cave on the far side of the Gullington. Apparently, the potential location was on the other side of those mountains, roughly a few miles away. That was convenient, but not a surprise. That side of the Gullington was full of mysterious surprises and portal locations where Sophia had many adventures.
Used to the rain, Sophia held her head up as rain splattered her cheeks, her shoulders braced against the howling winds that swept across the Pond.
“Do one of you have an umbrella?” Dr. Freud shielded her head and hair with her hands but did a poor job of it.
Sophia didn’t answer but instead studied the map. The thistle was most likely located on Holyrood Hill, on the eastern side. She knew the first big challenge was finding the location. Hoping that they didn’t have to comb through a ton of flowers and plants was another. The map simply had a star on the top of the hill that said, “Blather’s Location,” and beside it a large thistle.
Much like many of the magical books she referenced, Hidden Places led her to the right page based solely on her intentions. She hoped that it at least led her in the right direction based on the information that Bep had given her—or rather, not given her much of.
Evan held his chin up, seeming to enjoy the rain sprinkling his face. “We don’t need an umbrella. It would only get tangled in the wind.”
“But it’s raining,” Tiffannee complained and pulled up her collar to protect the back of her neck from the wind-spiked rain.
Evan stuck out his tongue and took a drink from the sky. “This isn’t rain. It’s merely spitting on us. A real Scotsman would never use an umbrella. That’s how you spot the tourists in the city.”
