by Sarah Noffke
Sophia nodded, having experienced this when she’d gone into town for supplies on rare occasions. “We’re going between the hills and up.” She pointed in the direction of Falconer Cave after picking a trek that she thought the mortal could handle although she’d inevitably hold them up a little.
“How about I tell you some useful Scottish information to take your mind off the weather?” Evan offered thoughtfully and held up his arm as if he were going to put it around Tiffannee’s shoulders.
When she abruptly shook her head at him, he dropped his arm but still smiled.
“All right then,” Evan began cheerfully. “Do you know why bagpipers, or pipers as we call them, walk while they play?”
Tiffannee didn’t reply aloud but rather cut her eyes at him, annoyance written on her face.
“To get away from the noise,” Evan replied with a laugh.
Sophia grinned ever so slightly and took the lead. Her boots sank into the grass as they hiked deeper into the hills and away from the Castle.
“Do you know that we only get two seasons in Scotland?” Evan asked the mortal as the rain picked up a little and soaked their hair.
Sophia pulled her hood up and tucked her strands underneath.
“Oh really?” Tiffannee sounded intrigued. “I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, we get June and winter,” Evan said with another laugh.
Tiffannee didn’t at all appear amused by this as she pursed her lips. “So not information on Scotland. Only jokes…”
“Well, you can learn a lot from jokes,” Evan argued and held out his hand as the water rained down heavier from the sky. “Now this is bordering on raining…sort of. We’d say it’s pissing down.”
“Can’t you magic me an umbrella?” Tiffannee hunched over to shield herself from the rain.
“Can’t,” Sophia replied before Evan could. “Not a good use of magic and we don’t know what we’ll be facing. Can’t risk depleting reserves.”
The psychiatrist sighed deeply. “I thought this was supposed to be an easy trip.”
“So far, it is,” Sophia related. “Haven’t had to pull my sword or fight an angry toad.”
Evan chuckled. “I remember that toad. Silly guy. Gave me great hallucinations.”
Sophia shook her head. “That’s because you tried to lick it.”
“Hey, I missed the seventies while stuck at the stupid Gullington,” Evan argued. “I heard that the hippies had the best drugs, like toads and stuff.”
“Now they have no brain cells either,” Sophia added and led them around the side of the hill and straight past Falconer Cave. The wind whistled past the stone structure, which Sophia was pretty sure was in a different place on that day. It, like many things in the Gullington, changed depending on mood and whatever else. “I think we have to hike up to the top of that hill there.” She pointed to a steep incline that peaked some five hundred feet up.
“Up there,” Tiffannee complained. “Again, this isn’t as easy as you promised.”
The psychiatrist wasn’t wearing hiking shoes but rather leather loafers that were now caked in mud. Sophia felt a pang of remorse for the mortal, but it was short-lived when she went back to complaining about the rain and cold.
Sophia trudged ahead and kept her annoyance to herself. She always subscribed to the notion that things were as easy or as hard as one wanted them to be. It so happened that too often, people liked to think of them as difficult so that was their experience.
“Hey, I have a story for you, Tiff.” Evan earned an irritated expression from her. “There’s a Scotsman hiking through a field, much like how we are right now. He sees this man who is about to drink out of a burn—”
“A what?” Tiffannee interrupts.
“A creek,” Sophia supplied over her shoulder.
“Yeah, we call creeks burns,” Evan said. “Anyway, the Scotsman, being a kind and gentlemanly bloke, rushes over to warn his fellow Scot. He says, ‘Hey, ya can’t drink dat. It’s piss. The guy frowns at him and scratches his head and says, ‘Sorry, I didn’t understand you. I’m an Englishman.” The Scotsman nods and smiles and talks clearly this time, saying, ‘I said, enjoy your drink. It’s good water.’”
Evan howled with laughter and slapped his knee.
Sophia smiled, slightly amused by Evan’s antics.
“I don’t get it.” Tiffannee grimaced. “Why couldn’t the Englishman understand him the first time? What do the Scottish have against the English?”
“Just about everything,” Evan answered, still laughing. “They’re all posh with their snooty little pinkies in the air when drinking their tea, chatting about their quidditch matches, and worrying if a fly gets into their beer.”
“I don’t think the English play quidditch,” Tiffannee said smugly.
“That’s your takeaway from what Dork Face said?” Sophia asked incredulously.
“I don’t think quidditch is a real game, is it?” Tiffannee continued as if she hadn’t heard Sophia, which was a possibility since the rain came down harder now. “Do magicians ride brooms?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Evan answered. “I have a magical dragon that I ride, remember?”
“Why didn’t we ride the dragons to wherever we’re going?” The whiny tone in Tiffannee’s voice grew.
“It’s not much farther,” Sophia replied, not wanting to admit that it was because she didn’t want to tax Lunis to fly with his injured leg unless it was necessary. The climb up the hill became more difficult as the rain made the ground slippery underfoot. Sophia leaned forward and put her head down to help with the momentum.
Tiffannee was really lagging now. Sophia halted near the top and turned to watch the mortal lumber up the hill.
“I’ll push you if you want,” Evan offered while easily striding beside her as if they were merely strolling.
The doctor shook her head. She appeared out of breath, her face red and rain drenching it.
“Okay, then, I’ll entertain you,” Evan stated good-naturedly. “Speaking of the English. An Englishman, Irishman, and a Scot are in a bar. They each have a pint of beer and three flies land in each of theirs.”
“At the same time?” Tiffannee interrupted between labored breaths. “It’s unlikely that there would be three flies that all land in three beers at the same time.”
“Again, your takeaways say a lot about you,” Sophia said dryly and glanced over her shoulder to study the area they’d come to.
“Anyway,” Evan continued. “The Englishman pushes the beer away, totally repulsed. The Irishman picks the fly out of his glass and flicks it away. The Scot picks the fly up and holds it over his beer and says, ‘All right then, spit it all out.’”
Sophia couldn’t help but laugh. She found it pretty endearing that Evan was trying so hard to entertain the mortal to take her mind off the arduous hike. However, Dr. Freud didn’t seem as appreciative of his efforts. She simply grunted in reply to the joke.
The rain let up quite suddenly when Sophia pulled out the Hidden Places map book, which she was grateful for. The timing of the rain halting when they reached the top of Holyrood Hill was ironic, as it tended to be in Sophia’s world.
The thistle on the map glowed briefly followed by the words Blather’s Location. According to everything that Sophia could tell, they were right on top of the place. She glanced around and looked for a thistle or this Blathers. Wet grass and stones covered the hill, but no flowers. A large pillar-like rock in the center seemed strangely out of place.
Sophia strode over to it and left Evan with Tiffannee, who had made it to the top of the hill and was catching her breath.
“That’s odd,” Sophia commented mostly to herself as she noticed how the boulder resembled a door. As she got closer, she realized that a small seam looked like a doorway, and toward the center was something that was undeniably a door handle and lock.
Instinctively, she reached out and tried to turn the knob. It didn’t budge. It was locked, which meant
that somewhere around on Holyrood Hill there had to be a key. They merely had to find it.
Chapter Thirty-One
“What do you mean we need a key?” Tiffannee asked when Sophia explained what she thought was going on.
“That’s a door,” Sophia stated and watched as the mortal circled the boulder.
“But there’s nowhere it can lead to.” Dr. Freud sounded confused as she came around the other side. “This stone is only, like, five feet wide.”
“Doors in the magical world are more like portals,” Evan explained while casually leaning against the rock.
“I’d guess that it probably leads to this Blather’s location,” Sophia mused.
“And that is?” Tiffannee asked.
Sophia shrugged. “Who knows?”
The psychiatrist shot her an annoyed expression. “How can you not know what you’re looking for?”
“I rarely know the answer to these things.” Sophia laughed. “Being a dragonrider is mostly about having a lot of blind faith.”
Evan tossed his head in the direction of the door where he was leaning. “So, this key. Where do you think it will be?”
Sophia spun in a complete circle to take in the rest of the hill where they stood. There wasn’t much there besides the boulder. “I left my metal detector at the Castle.”
“How do you know we need to go through that door?” Tiffannee squeezed the excess water from her hair.
Sophia noticed something coming up over the ridge in the distance but couldn’t make it out completely because it was still a fair distance away and somewhat blended into the stone path around it. “Because we’re in the right location and this is our only option.”
“I could try my lock-picking skills again,” Evan offered.
Sophia shook her head and continued to focus on the large thing approaching. It grew bigger as it came into view. “That didn’t work the last few times, so I think you have to cut your losses and hone other skills, like table manners and how to play the quiet game.”
Evan scoffed. “That sounds boring. I’ll devote my precious time to honing my nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, and computer hacking skills. You know girls only want a husband who has great skills, isn’t that right, Tiff?”
“Call me Dr. Freud,” she replied dryly.
“How romantic,” Evan joked. “You can call me Mr. Evan because I don’t want my wife having to deal with too many formalities.”
“You two are a romance for the storybooks.” Sophia stepped forward as the horns of the large Highland cow came into view from the distance on the other side of the hill. The cows were mostly brown, covered in long shaggy hair, and known for how docile they were. For that reason, the sight of the cow approaching at a fast trot didn’t unnerve her at first. When the beast broke into a sprint and raced at them like it was planning to bowl them over, Sophia tensed.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The Highland cow’s eyes flashed red as it raced in their direction, making it evident to Sophia that there was something unusual about the animal. It was definitely supernatural since it moved at a much faster rate than should have been possible based on its size.
Sophia reacted fast as she pushed Tiffannee behind the large boulder and leapt up onto it. Her hands grabbed the top, and in one swift movement, she swung her legs around and climbed on top.
Evan didn’t take the higher ground approach. Instead, he’d subscribed to the “run like hell” method. Thankfully he appeared to be faster than the cow that raced after him with its head down and long pointy horns aimed straight at the dragonrider’s backside.
Also fortunately for Evan, he was able to stay ahead of the charging cow by zipping back and forth, making the less-nimble animal struggle to keep up. They raced to the far side of the hill, which was good because it kept the bovine away from Tiffannee, who was stuck on the ground with her back pressed against the boulder. She appeared to be hyperventilating.
“What the hell is wrong with that thing?” the doctor asked between fast breaths.
Sophia looked out at the racing cow and studied it. “I’m not sure, but it can’t be random.”
“Random!” Tiffannee exclaimed. “How can a deranged bull not be random?”
Sophia ignored the upset therapist and kept her eyes on the animal as it followed Evan running back in their direction. His arms swiftly whipped back and forth beside his body, his chin was up, and his feet barely tapped the ground as he sprinted by.
“Little help here!” he yelled to Sophia as he passed, going in the direction that the cow had come from.
As they ran past, Sophia spied something around the Highland cow’s neck. It was only a shimmer of metal, but enough that she thought she knew what it could be.
“Lead the cow back this way!” she yelled to Evan.
“Are you serious?” Evan questioned over his shoulder. “I’m trying to protect my butt, and you want me to bring the monster over to you?”
“I need to get a closer look!”
“Take a picture!” Evan screamed. “It will last longer! Especially since I’m about to cut this thing!”
“No!” Sophia hollered. “I don’t think we should hurt it!”
From her experience, it was best to avoid harming the creature put in place to pass the obstacles when in the middle of these riddle-like situations. Her suspicions told her that this deranged Highland cow was an important part of the equation.
“It’s trying to hurt me!” Evan complained from the far side of the hill. “I’m gonna cut it.”
“Bring it over here!” Sophia yelled at him.
“No!” Tiffannee argued, her voice shrill.
“Stay where you are,” Sophia offered over her shoulder. “Evan will lead it by so I can get a closer look. It won’t come over there.”
“How do you know?” Tiffannee whined.
That was the thing. Sophia didn’t know. But she needed to get a closer look at the animal to resolve her suspicions. Then she could formulate a plan.
She offered the mortal a reassuring expression. “Don’t worry. Evan is good. He’ll keep the cow away from you.”
Tiffannee didn’t appear convinced but nodded as Sophia turned her attention back to the cow racing after Evan, headed in their direction.
“Here’s your cow!” Evan yelled as he passed. “Get your milkshake now because I’m running out of steam!”
Sophia’s eyes homed in on the object tied around the bovine’s neck. It was what she’d suspected. And it was exactly what they needed! Now she had to figure out how to get it.
It was the key to the door she stood on.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Bring the cow back this way!” Sophia yelled as Evan whipped past.
“Are you insane?” Evan called over his shoulder. “I’m not doing this for your amusement.”
“Do it!” Sophia ordered. “Bring Angus as close to this boulder as possible!”
“No!” Tiffannee complained again.
Sophia roughly shook her head. “We have to. Stay back there, and you’ll be okay. Evan will bring the cow to the front side of the stone.”
“Evan is doing everything!” he called and made a wide U-turn to avoid running into the Highland cow. “When are you planning to help out, Pink Princess?”
“As soon as you get Angus over here.” Sophia squatted and mentally prepared herself for what she was going to do next. It was something that only someone who had lost their mind would do. Or was desperate. Or in her case, both. But Sophia didn’t see another option.
She’d tried using magic to get the key off Angus’ neck with a telekinesis spell, but it hadn’t worked. It was obviously protected and had to be taken off manually.
The cow thundered in her direction, gaining on Evan. The dragonrider was losing speed after running flat out all that time. Thankfully Angus appeared to be slowing too, but it could cover a lot more ground fast.
How’s it going? Lunis asked in Sophia’s head, his timing perf
ect as usual.
Sophia sighed while thinking that she should have expected the well-timed interruption.
I’m busy.
Me too, Lunis stated. I’m filling out a dating profile on an app I downloaded on your device.
Oh good, Sophia grumbled. You have to explain that to Wilder if he asks.
Sophia’s eyes widened as Evan approached. “You’re not close enough!”
He shook his head. “Sorry, your highness. Trying to stay alive and this cow doesn’t follow directions so well.”
“Stop weaving back and forth,” Sophia ordered as Evan passed, headed the opposite direction. She watched as he zipped one way, then the other, which made Angus go back and forth. That’s why the Highland cow had been too far from the pillar where she stood.
“Your feedback is valuable to me!” Evan yelled, starting to sound breathless.
“Bring Angus back this way and this time get it close to this boulder,” Sophia demanded.
“No!” Tiffannee yelled.
That was apparently the only thing she could say as she clutched the side of the stone for dear life.
“You…owe…me….so…badly…” Evan called between breaths.
“Noted!” Sophia replied, then crouched while counting to ensure the timing was perfect. She would only have one chance, and a mistake would be fatal for her.
How does this sound? Lunis began in her head after clearing his throat.
Not a good time, she informed her dragon in irritation.
Well, it has to be now because this dumb app has already timed me out once, Lunis explained, then cleared his throat again as if about to make a speech. Remember, this is for a dating app.
When did you decide to start dating? Sophia watched as Evan and Angus retreated, buying her time to prepare for her next move.
It’s not for me. I’m attempting to get the female dragonettes out of the Nest to have peace and quiet back. They’re always shedding their scales all over the place and gabbing about girl drama.
