Only the Lost

by Amanda M. Lee

  He slowed his pace and gave me an incredulous look. “Do you honestly think I blame you for this?”

  I was taken aback. “Well ... .” How was I supposed to answer?

  “I don’t blame you for this.” His temper was on full display as he stepped closer to me. “Let’s say I did, though. What is there to blame you for? Fourteen people disappeared through the gate sixty years ago. Five came back today looking as if no time had passed. What blame is there to pass around in that scenario?”

  That was a good question. “I don’t know. I ... .” I frowned, which made him smile for the first time since I’d come to on the gate room floor. “If you don’t blame me for this, what’s your problem?”

  “What’s my problem?” Braden’s eyebrows hopped. “Seriously? I thought you were dead.”

  Realization finally hit me. “Oh.”

  “Yeah, ‘oh.’” His fingers were gentle when they slipped a strand of hair behind my ear. “Do you have any idea the fear I felt when I saw you go down?”

  I hadn’t even considered it, which seemed rude. There was no way I could admit that. He wouldn’t take it well. “I’m sorry.” That was true. I never wanted him to feel any pain. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

  He merely shook his head. “Izzy, I’m not blaming you. You didn’t cause this. No one caused this ... at least as far as we know. Sometimes things just happen. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t afraid.”

  The admission made me feel warm all over. “I guess you kind of like me, huh?”

  He snorted before gently grabbing the sides of my face and resting his forehead against mine. “I kind of like you a lot. That’s something my sister would’ve said, though, and I don’t like being reminded that you have so much in common with Aisling.”

  “Does it make you feel dirty?”

  “Oh, don’t be gross.” He wrinkled his nose and gave me a quick kiss before I could pull back. “I don’t really care if you’re against displays of affection on the job, I need one right now.”

  He was so earnest I couldn’t deny him. “Okay, but we’re not doing more than this.” I squeezed his hand and remained still before pulling away. “That’s all you get until we’re alone later.”

  His eyes gleamed in a fashion that made me believe he wanted to test my boundaries. Thankfully for both of us, Cormack had realized we’d fallen behind and chose that moment to clear his throat to get our attention. Embarrassed, I snapped my head up.

  “It would be best if you two didn’t swap spit in the middle of the reaper headquarters when we’re dealing with a crisis,” he volunteered.

  Braden scowled at him as he took a step back. “You have to ruin all my fun, don’t you? You’ve been like this since I was a kid.”

  “If you’re talking about that time you and Redmond decided you were superheroes and were going to jump off the roof, I still maintain I was saving your lives, not ruining your fun.”

  Braden made an incredulous face. “We weren’t going to jump. We were going to float. We made capes with wing things.”

  “Yes, and I’m certain the sewing prowess of eight-year-olds would’ve held up against wind velocity.” Cormack rolled his eyes. “Stop arguing. We don’t have much time. We certainly can’t waste any on the two of you making out in an office hallway. That’s unprofessional.”

  “Ha!” I jabbed a finger in Braden’s chest. “I told you.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Braden ruefully rubbed the spot where I poked him. “I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that my father and girlfriend regularly team up to torture me. It makes me feel warm all over.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at him. “I’ll soothe your fragile ego later if you let this go now. I promise to make it up to you.”

  He brightened considerably. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

  “I have no doubt.”

  CORMACK LEFT US OUTSIDE WITH Oliver while he attended a closed-door meeting in Renley’s office. That gave me a chance to study the photos on the wall and pace as Oliver stared into nothing, his thoughts clearly overwhelming him, and Braden played a game on his phone.

  “I don’t remember reading anything about missing reapers when I was researching for my placement here,” I noted after a bit, my gaze falling on a faded black-and-white photo. “Don’t you think that would be a big part of the curriculum? Or at least mentioned in the history books?”

  “Are you sure there’s no mention of it?” Braden asked. “I wasn’t the best student — before or after reaper training — so I can’t say with any degree of certainty that it wasn’t mentioned.”

  “I can.” I was firm on that. “I would’ve remembered that story. I conducted a lot of research before applying for my position here. I knew I would have only one shot. Trust me when I say that a story about fourteen people going missing through the gate when I was trying to dig up information on what happened to my parents would’ve caught my attention.”

  Braden nodded in sympathy. “Yeah. I guess that’s true. I don’t know how to answer your question.”

  Oliver stirred. “They covered it up.”

  I slid my eyes to him, conflicted. “Are you sure?”

  He nodded without hesitation. “I’m most definitely sure. They covered it up. They didn’t want any information to get out. The trainer and I were the only ones who witnessed what happened and we couldn’t actually say what went down because we were both knocked unconscious.”

  That brought up an interesting thread. “I was knocked out, too. Like you, I wasn’t transported through the gate.”

  Braden lifted his chin. “Don’t even suggest anything of the sort.”

  I didn’t have a choice. “I have to. Sixty years ago, the gate acted up and fourteen people were sucked through it. Today, the gate acted up. Five people returned. What happened to the other nine? Why wasn’t I sucked through? I mean ... other than the vision, nothing weird happened to me. Why?”

  “Those are all compelling questions,” Oliver agreed, stretching his long legs in front of him. His expression was hard to read as he held my gaze. “You saw something when you were unconscious. I would like to know what you witnessed.”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised by the request. He knew the missing men, after all. Still, it was an uncomfortable conversation. “I don’t know if I really saw what happened to them or if I dreamed it.”

  Oliver arched an eyebrow. “You seemed sure when you convinced Cormack to bring you here.”

  “That’s only because I didn’t want to be left out of the adventure.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “It makes no sense for you to dream of men you didn’t know existed. You’re powerful. When you went under, you saw a memory. You couldn’t make that up in your head because you didn’t know the participants.”

  I hadn’t really considered that, but he had a point. “I don’t know what I saw. There was a group of men — I didn’t count them so I don’t know if they were all present — and they were huddled together on the other side of the gate. It was like this weird cliff area. There was nowhere to run but the woods, and they were too frightening to consider escaping in that direction.”

  Oliver nodded for me to continue. “Did they speak?”

  “Yeah.” I told him about the discussion I’d overheard, leaving nothing out. When I was finished, he looked more agitated than when the conversation started.

  “Something was coming for them from the trees?” He leaned forward. “Did you see what?”

  “No. That’s when I woke up.”

  “That’s ... unfortunate.” He rolled his neck until it cracked. “I can’t imagine what happened to them. I don’t understand any of it, including why they haven’t aged. I just ... it’s a mystery.”

  “I think you’re about to get a chance to at least try to solve that mystery,” Braden noted as he tilted his head toward the door. Cormack entered, looking grave. “Are we clear to talk to the returnees?”

  Cormack nodded. “Yes, but we h
ave only twenty minutes. Make them count.”

  THE HOSPITAL WARD WAS EXACTLY as I imagined. It was like a scene out of Harry Potter, with one long ward and beds lined up on either side, creating an aisle down the center.

  The men were spread out, separated by beds, and partitions had been placed to give them some privacy.

  They were all awake ... and complaining loudly.

  “I want to know what’s going on right now!”

  “That’s Doug,” I automatically volunteered to Oliver. I recognized him from the vision.

  Oliver slid me a dubious look. “I know.” He looked nervous as he stepped forward, focusing his full attention on the man. Doug stopped grousing at the nurse taking his blood pressure and focused on the man at the end of the bed.

  “Why don’t you have to be strapped down?” he demanded, frustration practically oozing out of him. “Why aren’t you getting the hard treatment like the rest of us? What makes you so special?”

  Oliver looked at a loss. “I wasn’t with you,” he said finally. “Somehow I got left behind.”

  Doug made a face. “Left behind when? We were all in the gate room together and it started making that noise. I think we passed out or something. Now we’re here.”

  I shifted from one foot to the other, myriad questions bubbling for supremacy. Didn’t he remember being on the other side of the gate? It sounded as if no time had passed for him. How was that possible? I kept my mouth shut — for a change — because it seemed the thing to do. This was Oliver’s show.

  “That’s all you remember?” Cormack asked, stepping into Doug’s view. “You don’t remember anything else?”

  “What else am I supposed to remember?” Doug’s anger had teeth and he was looking to bite someone. Apparently it didn’t matter who. Of course, he had no way of knowing that Cormack was one of the highest-ranking reapers in the Detroit office. Cormack hadn’t even been born when the men disappeared.

  Cormack slid his eyes to Oliver, uncertain. “What have you been told?” he asked finally. “I mean ... when you were removed from the gate room you must’ve been told something.”

  “I was told that I passed out and I was fine. I need to call my brother. Do you have a phone?”

  Cormack pretended he didn’t hear the question. “What happened to the other members of your group?”

  “What other members?” Pure bafflement washed over Doug’s pinched features. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Oliver made a sound deep in his throat to draw attention in his direction. “Fifteen of us were going through orientation. Did you notice how many people were in the room when you came to?”

  Doug glanced around, as if doing the math. “I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean,” he said finally. “Did something happen? Wait ... was it the Russians? I bet it was the Russians. Or it could’ve been the Cubans. Did they gas us?”

  The questions seemed fantastical, and I had to ask the obvious question. “Why would the Russians attack?”

  “Sixty years ago things were different,” Braden replied absently. “Russia was a superpower until the eighties. They weren’t always as bumbling as they are now. Things are much different these days. They have been for the entirety of our lives.”

  I understood what he was insinuating, but I was still confused. “Why do you know so much about it?”

  “My father is a history buff. He used to make us watch things like Rocky IV, where Rocky ended communism with a single fistfight.”

  Huh. I vaguely remembered that movie. My grandfather had been a fan, too. “At least he looked hot doing it.”

  Braden snickered. “We can play that game later.”

  Doug was wide-eyed as he glanced between us. It was obvious we’d stepped into Twilight Zone territory here and he was incapable of keeping up. “I don’t understand what any of you are saying. I demand to know what’s going on ... and I want to know right now. Then I need to call my brother and tell him I’ll be home late. He’s probably worried.”

  He probably was worried ... sixty years ago. The man might not even be alive today. In fact, playing the odds, he probably wasn’t.

  “Well, since no one else has explained the situation to you, I guess it falls to me.” Cormack was resigned as he tugged on his suit jacket. “Sixty years ago, you and thirteen others reported for training in the gate room. Something happened — the gate malfunctioned — and you disappeared. Today, the gate malfunctioned again and five of you reappeared. Things are not as you think.”

  Doug’s face was a block of ice as he stared at Cormack for what felt like a ridiculously long time. Then he belted out a laugh. “Oh, that’s good. Did Willy put you up to that? Where is he, by the way? I’m guessing he wasn’t knocked unconscious by whatever happened. Were we out long enough for you guys to come up with a plan to mess with us or something?”

  “This is not a joke.” Cormack’s expression was a mixture of determination and regret. He obviously felt sorry for the man, but it was important to make him accept reality. “I’m sorry this happened. We don’t have answers as to the how or why. We’re going to do our best to find them. You have my word on that.”

  “You’re so full of crap.” Doug refused to back down. “We were out for only a few minutes. Sixty years? Give me a break. I know I look a little worse for wear after losing consciousness, but I clearly haven’t aged sixty years.

  “For that matter, neither has he,” he continued, gesturing toward Oliver. “He was with us in the gate room. He’s obviously in on this. You shouldn’t have included him.”

  Oliver took the opportunity to step forward. “I’ve been included because I knew you back then. The reason I haven’t aged is because I’m a vampire.” When it looked as if Doug was going to start laughing again, Oliver did the only thing he could — and bared his fangs. They were hidden unless he was fighting or eating, and the shocked expression on Doug’s face said it all. “I don’t age. That was true even then. I’m sorry, but ... what he’s saying is fact. You’ve been gone for sixty years.”

  “And ... what? Are you saying we just disappeared? How is that possible?”

  “I think you were on the other side of the gate,” I volunteered, speaking for the first time. I could no longer remain quiet. “You were all together, on a cliff of some sort, and there were woods to the east. I don’t know what happened to you after that, but I know you were stuck in that spot for a few hours.”

  “And how do you know that? I don’t know that. If I don’t know, you can’t possibly know.”

  “I saw you.”

  “You saw me?” He took a moment to look me up and down. “Am I supposed to believe you’re more than sixty years old, too?”

  “No. I’m in my twenties. I just have ... certain abilities.”

  “Izzy can see things,” Cormack interjected smoothly. “She’s magical, and got a flash of what happened to you after the gate malfunctioned again today. We’re reasonably assured that what she saw was real.”

  “Oh, well, if you’re reasonably assured.” Doug vehemently shook his head. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe any of you. I want access to a phone right now. In fact, I demand it. If you try to keep me from my family, I’ll sue you.”

  Cormack heaved out a sigh and dug in his pocket, returning with his cell phone. He extended it in Doug’s direction, but instead of eagerly taking it, the man shrank back.

  “I thought you wanted to contact your family,” Braden challenged. “That’s the only thing that’s going to make you believe, so I think you should do it.”

  “On that?” Doug’s voice turned shrill. “I don’t know what that is ... or what you’re doing ... but I demand to talk to someone in charge right now. I mean ... right now!”

  The nurse appeared again and shot Cormack a look. “He’s upset. You shouldn’t press him now. It’s too soon given the shock his body has been through.”

  Cormack held up his hands in defeat. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to upse
t him.”

  “Well, you did.”

  “We should probably give them time to acclimate,” I suggested, as Doug covered his eyes. “I think we approached him too soon.”

  “If not now, when?” Oliver challenged. “He’ll have to learn the truth eventually.”

  “We’ll give him time to settle,” Cormack insisted. “We’ll come back tomorrow. I think we’re done for tonight.”

  The nurse emphatically nodded. “You’re definitely done.”

  Four

  Oliver and I returned to the gate room to finish our shift. Paris had left a note saying that she’d borrowed three books, making sure to spell out the titles in their entirety and promising to return them the next day. We had hundreds of intakes to finish, something Braden wanted to be there for, but his father put his foot down and sent him on his way.

  Braden had his own work to do. As much as he wanted to hover, it was unnecessary. I was fine. That didn’t mean I was ready to let Oliver off the hook when it came to his past.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  We were packing up for the day when I finally asked.

  He tilted his head to the side and met my gaze head-on. “Tell you what?”

  “I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to keep things from each other. After what happened before ... .” I left it hanging. Trust was something that needed to be earned. I was still in a strange limbo with Oliver and Brett due to the fact that they’d kept important information from me.

  “We agreed to share information about your parents,” he clarified. “I told you why I didn’t immediately tell you about your past. I wanted to see if you would remember me on your own.”

  I didn’t. Well, not really. I felt something when I was near him. It was like a sense memory. I was much more comfortable than I should be around him given the brevity of our relationship. I trusted my instincts, though. Oliver was trustworthy ... if a bit reticent when it came to volunteering information of a personal nature.

  “No, we agreed to always tell each other the truth,” I pressed. “You didn’t tell me about this.”