The Love Playbook

by Suze Winegardner

  “Oh, come on. Shit. Now I have to ask about that,” he said, wondering if it was a good idea to ask but concluding almost immediately that if he didn’t know, that was all he’d think about. “Who, what, how?”

  “Lexi and I used to practice kissing when we were younger. No big deal. Now it’s my question again.”

  “I feel like I’ve been had,” Lucas said, smiling. He shrugged. “I don’t mind, though.”

  “Why did you leave your old school?” she asked.

  And boom. There it was. And here was his first fudge. “My mom lost her job, and we just packed everything up and moved somewhere for a fresh start.” The air seemed to leave the room, and the extreme lack of fun lying to Avery brought a heaviness between them. He hated that shit. He wanted to be honest. “It’s been difficult. I didn’t want to leave, but it was clear that we didn’t have a choice.” He waited for her million back-up questions, but instead she just tipped her head to one side and said nothing. He fought every urge to say anything that would lead to more lies. “My turn,” he said. And then he was so tense from hiding the truth from Avery that he literally said the first thing in his mind. The thing that had been in his mind for weeks. “Will you hang out with me sometime?”

  …

  Avery’s heart flipped. But immediately, she pushed down the elation and dealt with it with suspicion. “We are hanging out right now.” She tried to casually take a sip of her soda but fumbled the bottle top, and it rolled off the comforter to the floor.

  Before she could position herself to fish under the bed for it, Lucas was up and had found it. He presented it to her.

  She went to grab it, but he held on to it. “Are you holding my bottle top hostage? Because I think you may have grossly overestimated my attachment to it.”

  He looked at the cap and nodded like he just realized she was right and handed it back. “So you’ll hang out with me again?”

  Ahhhhhhh! He’s impossible. “I’m happy to text you—now I have your number—when we’re all hanging out. No problem.” She put the soda on the bedside table and crossed her arms. And then realized that she looked defensive and dropped them to her side again—which also felt awkward. “Maybe we could hang out after the next game on Friday?”

  He sat on Lexi’s bed. “Yeah, about that.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I was thinking about sitting that one out. Maybe quitting the team altogether.”

  Her stomach clenched. “What? You can’t do that! I’m…the guys are relying on you.” Shit. She’d been so selfish, just thinking about kissing Lucas and—she took a deep breath—other things. The only reason they were talking was that she needed him to help her dad save his job. That was the only reason she’d helped him.

  “I’ve literally played one and a half games. The guys can manage without me,” he said with a wry smile.

  “They can’t. We have to make it to the playoffs this year.” She felt panicked but was trying really hard not to show it. “Where’s your school spirit?”

  “My school spirit? My school spirit disappeared when I left Henderson. I’ve been here, like, a month. What’s wrong with you? You care about the team that much?” He looked odd.

  She took a breath. “I do. But I also love seeing you play.” That was true at least. “We didn’t make it to the playoffs last year…because—” Her brain stuttered over mentioning her mother. It was true, but she didn’t want to use her mother’s death to guilt trip him.

  “Yeah, I got it. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s just that since you turned up, everyone’s been playing better. It’s like you’ve given them all a taste of hope.” Okay, that was pure ass-kissing, but she was desperate.

  He sighed. “It’s okay—you had me when you said you loved seeing me play.”

  She threw both arms in the air as if she’d just watched a final-second touchdown. “Yippeeee!”

  “Why do I feel like I just got played?” he said with a laugh.

  She was so excited that she’d gotten him to stay that she jumped up on the bed, arms still in the air, and bounced up and down. “And the crowd goes wiiiiild!” she whisper-screamed as the bed squeaked loudly beneath her.

  She wanted to jump on him. Jump him?

  Pro: She was alone in a hotel room with the boy she’d been thinking about for weeks.

  Con: Not a damn thing she was interested in thinking about.

  “Oh my God, you’re going to hurt yourself!” He laughed. “Get down before someone below complains that the people in room 409 are making loud sex noises.”

  The thought made her giggle, but she dropped her arms and jumped at Lucas, still exhilarated. He caught her, and they both tumbled onto Lexi’s bed. She landed on top of him. As soon as they stopped laughing and kind of realized where there were, she should have gotten off.

  But she didn’t.

  His arms wrapped around her. “So how much do you love seeing me play? Is it this much?” He kissed her cheek. “Or this much?” He kissed her lips gently.

  Her breath stuttered. “Like, maybe, this much,” she said. She planted her mouth on his and kissed him. Instantly, heat flushed through her as she tried to get closer to him. She should be embarrassed, right? About how bad she wanted to kiss him. But she wasn’t. Maybe she would be next time she saw him. But right then and there, she wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed or anything other than totally and 100 percent hot for him. He was like sugar-rush personified.

  He rolled her over so that she was underneath him, and his hand ran up and down her side as if he were memorizing her form. She could feel his excitement, and it made her feel sexy. Was this how it was supposed to be? A sudden and willful disregard of anything except a deep ache of wanting everything to go much, much further?

  He pulled away from her mouth, took a deep breath, and rolled off her. He grabbed her hand to his chest, and she felt the pounding of his heart. She didn’t understand. Didn’t he want to…?

  He rolled toward her, so they were facing one another. “I really like you, Avery. And there’s nothing I want more than to continue this.” He groaned in what sounded like frustration. “And I mean there is literally nothing in the world I want more.”

  A little relieved, she smiled. “Super Bowl?”

  He opened his mouth to object but then had a second thought. “Okay, maybe that. But nothing else.” He paused again, searching her face for a reaction. “But I want to be with you, if we ever…” He motioned with his eyes to the bed.

  She furrowed her brow for a second. “With me? As opposed to being by yourself?” She bit her lip, realized what she just said.

  He rolled his eyes at her. “Dating. I want to be with you. I don’t want ‘this’”—again, he motioned to the bed—“to be an accident. Or a one-night-thing. Or ‘something that happened that one time.’ I want us to be together—dating together,” he clarified. “God, I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud.”

  She giggled.

  “But that’s another reason I wanted off the team. Aside from the fact that your father warned me off all girls—and boys, come to that—your brother also said that he’d have me dropped from the team if I ever laid a finger on you. And I think we can admit that I’ve already laid quite a lot more than a finger on you.” He ran his hand down her side again.

  “He did what?” Avery started to get up, but Lucas pulled her back down so her head was on his chest. Her outrage dissipated almost instantly. “He doesn’t have the power to do that. Dad wouldn’t listen to him about who to play. Besides which who else is he going to play in your position?”

  “I didn’t know that when I kind of agreed not to even look at you,” he said.

  “You did what?” She made to be outraged again but couldn’t even fake it. She was way too comfortable lying on Lucas with his arms around her. “Seriously,” she mumbled into his chest. “Don’t listen to anything Colin
says.”

  His arm tightened around her, and she heard him flick off a light switch. For a second, she tensed up at the darkness, which she often did. But she felt Lucas kiss her forehead and squeeze her, and as she drifted off, she was momentarily aware that there was no anxiety in her body. None at all.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Avery realized that she hadn’t closed the curtains when the light of the blue dusky sunrise filtered into the hotel room. She squinted at the window, and everything came back. The amazing game, the pool, and Lucas was still in her bed. Well, Lexi’s bed.

  She lifted herself up a little to see if Lexi was in her bed, and she wasn’t. They were still alone. Lexi must have crashed in LeVonn’s or Colin’s room.

  “Morning,” Lucas said with an adorably hoarse voice. He groaned and buried his head against her neck.

  “Morning,” she replied as she snuggled closer to him.

  “Hmmm,” he replied, eyes still shut, and gathered her in his arms to hold her next to him.

  He was warm and gentle. Holy shit. She wished Lexi were there so she could squee silently—but then she guessed that would also be weird.

  She turned around in his arms so she was facing him.

  “Don’t watch me while I’m sleeping,” he mumbled.

  “You’re not sleeping,” Avery argued with a smile.

  “Then don’t watch me kissing you,” he replied.

  “You’re not—”

  And then he was. Not a “good morning, this is a bit awkward” kiss, but a “come here and let me lay some awesomeness on you” kind of kiss. And she was there for it. It was a deep, sexy, but slow and deliberate kiss. A kiss for a kiss’s sake.

  Eventually, he pulled away and nuzzled her neck. She was in heaven. For sure. Euphoria lifted her spirit and heart, and she felt happy. Like really happy. Happy that he knew a bit about her past and hadn’t steered clear of her like so many others at school had. Happy to be there, right in the minute. It wouldn’t even matter if they never went out or anything ever again. She had this. This feeling. She’d remember it.

  “What are you doing tonight after work?” he said.

  She popped up and leaned on her elbow. “I don’t know. Wait. Are you asking me out?” She furrowed her brow. “Or are you asking me to ‘hang out?’” She used air quotes.

  He tucked his arm under the pillow, showing a crazy-hot, big bicep, and rolled his eyes. “I’m asking you on a date. A date. A date!” He shouted the last two words, making Avery stuff her hand over his mouth.

  “Hush, it’s still only… Shit!” she said, looking at the clock. “It’s 7:30! We’re due at the bus, like, in thirty seconds!”

  “Shit. Shit.” Lucas jumped out of bed. “I’ve got to get to my room to get my bag,” he said and raced to the door. Then he turned back, grinned, and grabbed Avery as she was also struggling out from under the comforter. He planted a kiss on her lips. “Date tonight? After work?”

  She nodded. “Date tonight.”

  “So we’re, like, officially dating now?” he asked.

  A thread of excitement twanged inside her. “I guess.”

  He kissed her again and ran for the door. “See you on the bus.” The door closed behind him, and Avery stood for a good five seconds with a grin on her face.

  Then she grabbed her things from the bathroom and shoved them in her bag. She also grabbed Lexi’s bag and made a run for it.

  …

  Lucas got to the bus before Avery—mostly, he imagined, because he had virtually nothing save wet swim shorts, toothpaste, and a toothbrush to pack. He threw his bag into the baggage area and checked in with Coach so he could be checked off the list.

  Lexi was already on board, looking tired and wearing a really large, long T-shirt. “Have a good evening?” he asked, perching on the seat opposite her in the aisle.

  She laughed and then held her head. “Yeah, it was fun. Have you seen Avery? I hope she’s coming with my bag.”

  He grinned and winked at her. “I have seen her this morning, and yes. I would imagine she’ll bring your bag with her.”

  Glee passed over her face as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and clapped silently. Almost immediately, she frowned and pointed at him. She opened her mouth to say something, and he was pretty sure he knew where she was going. He held up his hand. “I’m not going to do anything to hurt her. I swear.” And he meant the words, even though a small measure of anxiety crept into his belly as he remembered just what he was keeping from everyone on the team.

  Everyone was on the bus except for the Stone family. He looked outside and saw them talking. It looked like Coach was telling them off for being the last on the bus. Colin got on, winked at Lexi, and Avery followed. She caught his eye, and it worried him how uncertain she looked, even though they’d been together less than ten minutes previously.

  He stood up as she went to get in next to Lexi. “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. Sure,” she replied, meeting his eyes.

  He was overcome with the feeling that she was his now. Well, at least, she was his girlfriend, and he didn’t care who knew. He pulled her to him, hugged her quickly, and kissed her forehead before they took their seats again.

  Literally everyone on the bus stopped talking and looked. He didn’t care. He wasn’t going to sneak around with Avery. He didn’t want to feel like what they were doing was wrong. Because, let’s face it—there were plenty of other things he was doing that were wrong. Coach’s gaze met his in the large mirror at the front of the bus.

  He didn’t care. He was happy. For the first time in months. He’d rocked the game the night before and literally spent the night with Avery. And it had been amazing. He was good.

  Avery reached for his hand across the aisle as the bus jerked out of the parking lot. She squeezed it, smiled at him, and went back to Lexi.

  He was really fucking excellent.

  Colin swiveled his head around to glare at him a couple times but didn’t say anything. Lucas guessed that was a conversation he was going to be having sooner or later, and if Colin did get him kicked off the team, he would, in all honesty, be relieved. He was still running through ways he could leave the team without disappointing Avery.

  As they drove down the highway, dark clouds started to gather in the distance ahead of them, as if they were leaving the light, and sunshine, and victory, and heading toward a dark and stormy day. He hoped it wasn’t an omen, but he had too many bad things in his head competing with the good.

  …

  A few hours later, Lucas arrived at the back entrance of Hardy’s as Avery was being dropped off. He waited just inside the hallway that led to the store and workshop, holding the door open for her. She ran across the parking lot and in through the door. He let it close, and they were suddenly alone and just inches apart. His resting heart rate said goodbye and kicked off into a sprint.

  “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” she said with a smile.

  “Do we, though?” he said, bending slowly toward her.

  She reached for him at the same time, tilting her head to kiss him. The warmth of her lips brought life. He took a step closer to her, and she pressed herself against him. It nearly undid him.

  “I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to kissing you,” he said, pulling her even closer.

  Avery smiled against his lips as the store door rang. She jumped. “Gotta go. See you in a bit.” She dashed into the store and greeted Mr. Hardy.

  “We need to switch out the tarps for the brooms again. We’re going to have another windstorm this weekend,” Mr. Hardy said to her before the door swung shut.

  Through the small window, Lucas watched Avery reach for her red apron from a hook by the cash register.

  He wished he could bottle that moment. The taste of her toothpaste still on his lips, his heart rate
just settling down, the prospect of their date that night. The prospect of everything. For the first time, the future looked bright.

  That was, except for the constant anxiety that pressed on his shoulders. His secret was becoming almost too heavy to bear.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Her shift at the store went exactly as it usually did. Avery sold the brooms on special, cleaned the aisle when Mrs. Ortecho dropped a bottle of paint remover, took payments, and wrote the receipts for the repair shop.

  Everything was the same as it had always been. But everything was also so different. She had a boyfriend. One that made her feel amazing. One that she hadn’t dared think about. One that felt 99 percent perfect, and one percent dangerous. Every time he looked at her, her heart quickened and her whole body heated up from the inside out. It was a wholly new experience.

  In comparison, Blaine had been the exact thing that he’d accused her of being: vanilla. She saw that now. To be fair, it was probably that she had been vanilla. Blaine just hadn’t evoked the same feelings inside that Lucas did. And it had probably been the same for him. She understood what it was supposed to feel like now. And she and Blaine together just hadn’t been it.

  She allowed herself the luxury of dipping into her planner during the quiet moments. She checked no one was looking and put a heart sticker on the previous day’s page. Maybe she should put one on that day’s page, too—after all, they had a legit date tonight. She peeled off another heart and put it next to the entry “work” and above the entry “draft thesis for tomato study.”

  The wind had really picked up by the time lunchtime came around. Avery liked the wind—it always felt like the old was being swept away to make room for the new. Especially in the early fall when the breeze was still warm. It felt right for that day. Out with the old, in with the new.

  Just as her stomach started to rumble, Lucas came from the back. “Mr. Hardy said we could go for lunch,” he said with a grin.

  “I’m starving,” she said. “You must be, too. We didn’t eat anything last night or this morning.”