Not Destiny

by N. J. Lysk

  Uri watched him as if from another world as he bent forward to kiss his left kneecap, then the right, eyes never leaving his own. He exhaled shakily, and Thomas echoed him, breath stirring his pubic hair like the most delicious tease and making his cock twitch against his thigh, drawing Thomas’s eyes to it at once.

  “Fuck, Uri,” Thomas said, almost pained. Or maybe just desperate; Uri could understand that much, if he didn’t move... Thomas clenched his eyes shut for a moment before focusing on him again. “Colour?”

  He’d been answering rather automatically all evening, now he took a moment to think of it. His body felt like it’d been scrubbed raw, every nerve tingling against the slightly too-cool air in the bedroom, his nipples peaked, his cock hard enough to drill through a wall, and... his head was silent, for once. He only wanted to know one thing: when Thomas would touch him again. He nodded, then wet his lips and said, “White.”

  Thomas didn’t move, just watched his face from where he knelt at his feet like a supplicant, his immobility felt like a hold he had on Uri. Keeping him still, keeping him waiting... “Thomas,” he said, breaking at last.

  Thomas blinked fast, then smiled again and ran his hands up Uri’s legs, moving his knees apart until he could brush his face—freshly shaven—against the soft skin of Uri’s inner thighs. First the left, then the right, like an overgrown kitten, and so close to... He took hold of Uri by the back of his knees and lifted. “Scoot back,” he said and helped him as Uri planted his hands and wiggled back until he could put his feet on the bedding too, leaving himself fully exposed.

  He turned his neck, feeling his face burn even as he clenched his arsehole. Thomas groaned, low and desperate. “Gods, you—” He gently cupped Uri’s sack in his hand. “So beautiful.”

  A shiver ran up Uri’s spine at the words. He could just about imagine what he looked like and—Thomas leaned in and licked his cock from tip to base, tongue flat and slick. Uri’s hips jumped, but Thomas’s hand was already clamped around his thigh, keeping him in place. “Stay,” he repeated now. “Let me taste you.”

  Uri swallowed, clenching his eyes shut and inhaling deeply through his nose. The room smelled of precome, sweat, and wood polish because he’d cleaned. “I—” he tried, and felt his voice break in his throat.

  Thomas’s hold loosened, and he rubbed at his thighs instead. “Yeah? What?”

  He cleared his throat and opened his eyes. “I’ll come, if...”

  Thomas’s face didn’t change for a moment, then, a little more hesitant than he probably intended, he declared, “And we don’t want that, not before I’m inside you.”

  Uri shuddered, whole-bodied and inevitable, and Thomas smiled, a little dark, possessive and proud. “Do not move,” he said firmly, and got to his feet in a swift, elegant move Uri couldn’t look away from.

  He followed him with his eyes as he walked up to the bedside table drawer and retrieved the supplies they’d need, and back when he returned to the bed, eyes catching on the prominent bulge in his jeans.

  “I think I’m going to do it like this,” Thomas commented. “Just lower my zip and go for it.”

  Uri swallowed, vision swimming for a moment as a wave of heat ran through him. The smirk he found on Thomas’s lips when he looked up at him again said he’d given away his reaction somehow. “Spread your arse for me,” Thomas asked sweetly.

  He hesitated, all too aware of what he’d look like if... Thomas didn’t insist, waiting patiently with the jar of lube and the condoms in hand, eyes roaming over Uri’s body like he found the view more than enough entertainment. Uri closed his eyes and tried to remember what Thomas had looked like with his legs spread for him, how he’d felt... Just the image, blurry as it was in his head, made his cock throb where it lay against his belly. He’d liked getting fucked, and he... he liked the way Thomas looked at him.

  He could just try it. He wouldn’t even have to speak to stop, just take his own hands back and Thomas would do it for him.

  He turned his wrists and pressed his palms against the side of his buttocks. Thomas exhaled above him, indifferent façade shattering like crystal against marble. Uri curled his fingers against the curve of both arse cheeks, feeling each fingertip like a brand. Then he slowly pulled them apart. It stretched his hole a little and tugged on his balls, sending a wave of sensation through his cock as well.

  Not bad and... Thomas was breathing raggedly now, Uri could pinpoint his location quite precisely just from that. He shifted his hips a little, just enough to... just tilting them upwards. Thomas fell back to knees so abruptly Uri’s eyes popped open in surprise at the sound. He stretched his neck, trying to see his lover’s face. “Sorry,” Thomas said. “Just... Colour?”

  “White,” Uri said simply. He felt a little more conscious of his body than he had before—maybe because Thomas was visibly losing control, maybe...

  “Okay, my turn,” Thomas declared. He’d got the lid off the lube but didn’t warm it before running his wet fingers from the base of Uri’s cock down to his taint. He exhaled a laugh when Uri shivered. “Don’t worry, I’ll warm you right up,” he promised, voice heavy and low. “Hey, eyes on me.”

  Uri obeyed, unthinking. Thomas didn’t say anything, just watched his face and ran his fingertips from hole to perineum once more, so light it almost tickled. “I can’t believe you’ve never done it before,” he said. He dipped the tip of a single finger inside, making Uri shiver and twist a little into it. “Oh.”

  Thomas pushed it a little further in, and Uri’s body accepted the penetration. It didn’t feel so odd this time around, maybe because his whole body had gone loose and easy on the bed. “Maybe I should have known; you’re so tight, I just— Yeah, like that,” he praised as Uri instinctively opened his legs wider. “I’m giving you another one.”

  He did, pulling back before pushing back in, his hand so wet it squelched loudly. Uri shuddered, turning his face away. “Yes, just like that,” Thomas instructed. “Stay still for me.” He placed one of his big hands on Uri’s thigh, holding him in place with enough force to be felt through the haze of his thoughts. It’d bruise, he thought vaguely, imagining it already, the mark of Thomas’s fingers on his skin, like... He inhaled sharply just as Thomas added a third finger and his lover froze at once. “You okay?”

  Uri shook his head, then realised it wasn’t what he meant when Thomas started pulling away. “I... White,” he said plaintively.

  Thomas let go of his leg and cupped his face instead, fingers of his right hand still half-buried in Uri’s arse. “What happened?”

  He swallowed, looking away from Thomas’s dark eyes to try and think... “Bruises,” he remembered.

  Thomas made a humming noise. “You’re already thinking that far ahead, baby?” he asked, amusement colouring his voice. “That’s not good, stay here with me.” He then underscored this statement by shoving his three fingers right back in, deep enough to make Uri thrash a little against him, overwhelmed by the intensity of the unexpected pleasure, cock weeping against his own belly. “Look at me,” he repeated, softer again, thumb caressing Uri’s cheekbone like it was a particularly smooth stone.

  Uri did. Thomas was staring at him like he’d forgotten the rest of the universe had ever existed. “How does this feel?” He curled his fingers a little inside, bringing a broken moan out of Uri’s mouth. “Good?” he asked, sounding pleased. “You want more? You want my cock?”

  The sense memory of it made Uri clench his eyes shut, hips instinctively circling and squeezing Thomas’s fingers hard. He heard the beta’s breath stutter above him but no demands that he look were made. He opened his eyes on his own after a few breaths to find Thomas biting his lower lip, keeping himself still with obvious effort. He nodded.

  Uri almost wanted to ask him to forego the last finger. Now that he’d remembered, he wanted it again, like his body had been waiting for it all this time. Fortunately, he was high enough on endorphins that he didn’t manage to speak before Thomas went ahe
ad, adding more lube—warmed up this time—and all four of his fingers.

  His breath stuttered at the stretch, too much for a moment, until a big hand landed on his neck and he relaxed into it, lax and pliant, surrendering wholeheartedly. Thomas was speaking, but he couldn’t make out the words over the rush of blood to his head. It was only when the hand slid upwards to cup his cheek that he could make out his own name. “Hey, I’m sorry,” Thomas was whispering next to his ear. “I got caught up, I—”

  Uri reached out and took hold of his wrist, squeezing as hard as he could manage. Thomas stopped speaking, leaning back a little to meet his eyes. “Sorry,” he said again once their gazes met. “Should I...?” Uri clenched against his fingers as he felt them start to slide out of him. Thomas stopped moving, throat bobbing as he gulped, face flushed from exertion.

  Uri shook his head, opened his mouth and discovered it was too dry to speak. He pulled Thomas down by his hold on his arm instead, lifting his face until he could plant a clumsy kiss on his lips. It was all it took to get Thomas’s tongue into his mouth, wet and slick, pushing in like he wanted to eat Uri up, his fingers echoing the movement in Uri’s hole just like he’d wanted. He hooked a leg behind Thomas’s knee, pulling him closer. It was the right sentiment but the wrong technique; he felt a sharp stab of pain as Thomas lost his balance, slamming his free hand on the bed besides Uri’s face and almost elbowing him on the nose. “Fuck,” he said, and to Uri’s shock, he was laughing. He gave him a mock glare. “Stay still,” he commanded; he was still smiling but it came out firm.

  Uri let go of him, lying back and just watching as Thomas rearranged both of them: first pulling his fingers out of Uri, then taking hold of his buttocks and lifting until he was further up the bed... and then, eyes almost all pupil, opening his own trousers and giving himself a squeeze through his boxers as Uri watched, saliva pooling in his mouth. He needed...

  Thomas pulled on the cloth, lowering it until his erection was freed, red and thick and shining with precome. It only made Uri want to suck him all the more. He watched in silence as Thomas lubed himself up, grunting a little as he stroked himself and sighing as he slid the condom on. Even with the latex, the sight was enthralling.

  And then he couldn’t see Thomas’s cock anymore as his buttocks were squeezed and lifted, legs spread around Thomas’s hips. He felt it bump against his inner thigh and shuddered at the sticky wetness of it. Fingers were rubbing at his wet hole again, dipping in a little, and he was so lost in the sensation it wasn’t until a hand closed around the base of his cock, a little too tight, that he realised Thomas was speaking to him. “Colour, sweetheart,” his lover said gently when he looked up.

  Uri swallowed, mind seemingly going in circles until he could find the right slot. “Um, white.”

  Thomas nodded, slowly. “I’m going to put it in you now,” he said, matter-of-factly. Uri’s cock twitched in his grip, leaking a little, and Thomas grinned. “Yeah, can’t wait, can you?”

  He didn’t wait for Uri to respond before positioning himself between his buttocks, erection trapped between Uri’s arse cheeks for a moment before he pushed forward and the head of his cock found Uri’s rim. The sensation was electric, almost too much and definitely not enough as his empty passage clenched on nothing. Thomas lifted his arse and thrust a little harder and the head popped in, making Uri toss his head and exhale something high and desperate.

  Thomas bent his head forward. “Fuck, you— Let me in, let me have you...”

  The words were like a punch to the gut, making his whole body contract, muscles spasming out of his control. Thomas whimpered on top of him but stayed perfectly still until Uri relaxed again, panting and dizzy with it. He couldn’t stand this for long, he’d either come or explode. He planted his feet on the bed and lifted his arse, Thomas’s cock went in a little deeper, sliding though his slick passage almost— He grunted as Thomas got deep enough to brush his prostate. “Shh...” Thomas coaxed. “No, let me, just let me...”

  Uri closed his eyes and let his head rest flat on the bed, let his mind focus on the heat of Thomas’s skin, the sweat between their bodies, the smell of sex heavy in the air, his own body clutching tight at the cock halfway in. Thomas’s hands came to rest on his upper arms, holding him down more securely, and Uri’s knees fell open. He felt the slow but steady slide of Thomas into him, deeper and deeper until his balls rested against Uri’s arse. The fullness was foreign but the blankness in his head was anything but. It was the feeling he’d been seeking all along, what he... what he needed.

  Thomas circled his hips, as if making space for himself inside Uri. A low keening sound was the only distraction from the feeling of shattering from within, slowly cracking open from the inside until... And it was him, that sound was him. Until Thomas took his mouth as he was taking his arse, slow but unrelenting, conquering every inch like he couldn’t stand to leave any part of Uri untouched or unmarked. And Uri... Uri wanted to be marked, to be... owned.

  To be loved.

  Thomas thrust in faster, going deep and then almost pulling off. He was panting wetly against Uri’s cheek, body moving with optimal efficiency as he sheathed himself in again and again—every time sending Uri deeper as his body throbbed with need, balls drawn tight, cock bobbing along as his insides were lit on fire. On a particularly well-aimed thrust, he clamped hard around Thomas, who froze on top of him at once. “I can’t...”

  Uri didn’t understand what he was talking about until he felt Thomas’s fingers circling his rim again, then rubbing at his sack—full and almost too sensitive to the touch—before proceeding to take hold of his dick. “Yes, like that,” Thomas said, more whine than words, as Uri arched into the touch, suddenly so frantic he made Thomas’s strokes go erratic and clumsy. It didn’t matter, it couldn’t— He broke like the tide on a cliffside, violent and crushing, and actually whited out for a few moments as he made a mess between them, and Thomas buried his face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, holding on so tightly Uri’s brain almost couldn’t find the tracks again when he came back online.

  It was the steady grunts falling from Thomas’s lips that made reality solidify into something he could understand. Slowly, he recovered the feeling of being opened up by each thrust, deep and true, a little too sensitive but still craving it. He tightened up just to hear what sound Thomas would make; his lover didn’t disappoint, breath breaking into a whimper right before he shoved in again and stilled, shuddering on top of him as he emptied himself. Inside Uri.

  Into the condom, really, which... Thomas fell onto him like his soul had left his body; he was warm, too warm really, but Uri closed his eyes and listened to his heartbeat, felt Thomas struggling to catch his breath on top of him. It was only a few moments before he rolled onto his side, always a gentleman. Uri managed to reach out a hand to keep him from getting further away and got an almost shy smile in return before Thomas curled into him, arm around his waist.

  THOMAS WAS A LITTLE disappointed in himself. It wasn’t like it was the first time he dominated someone, and he’d never been so out of control before. The whole point of domination was control. At least Uri had seemed to enjoy it, he thought, allowing himself a minute to breathe in the scent of Uri’s skin before he got up to get rid of the condom. He traced around Uri’s earlobe with his fingertips and watched his eyelids flutter. He was probably still in subspace, or as good as. Thomas watched his restful face, fascinated as much by the trust he’d been given as by the beauty of his features. It wasn’t that Uriel was an alpha... Or it was, in part at least, because it meant Uriel had been told he could never trust another person to treat him like this, to... to lead him. Thomas could barely imagine what hearing that every day for years could to do you, hearing that if you didn’t do it, you were failing at something as fundamental as being yourself...

  And he’d done it anyway.

  Maybe because he’d been hearing other things too; it was almost a pity he couldn’t really thank Uri’s mothers for t
rying to give him a little perspective—something to at least compare all the bullshit to.

  Maybe it was because he was brave as fuck, ready to push through any boundaries to find justice and equality.

  And maybe, a small part of him hoped, it was Thomas. Something about him that... Something about them that worked, that made Uri open up like this.

  He didn’t know, and Uriel probably didn’t know either, but he wanted to deserve that trust.

  “YOU MUST BE THOMAS,” said the surprisingly pretty woman who opened the door. She had to be in her mid-fifties, at least, but her thick black hair shone with health.

  “Yeah,” he agreed. His first guess was that this was Esti, but Uri had neglected to mention what either of his mothers looked like.

  “Ruth,” she said, offering her hand to shake. She gave a firm squeeze, then let go to glance at her son at his side. “I see we’ve come clear without any major drama.”

  Uri sighed, stepping forward and hugging her. “At least give us some food before you start grilling him.”

  Thomas swallowed, letting the door close behind him, mostly because Colleen would murder him if he called her to cancel.

  Ruth gave Uri, a good head taller than her, a shove back. “Stop coddling him,” she admonished. “If he can’t take the in-laws now, how’s he going to survive Pesach?”

  “Wine?” Thomas suggested, and Ruth laughed out loud.

  “Really?” she asked. “I thought you were an athlete.”

  “Special occasions only,” he replied, raising his hands and offering his best angelic expression. It hadn’t worked since he’d been in short trousers, but it still made people smile that he tried.

  Her look was thoughtful.