Shattered Bonds

by Faith Hunter

  Brushing the snow away, I placed the steak on one of the remaining frozen stones. I stripped and laid my clothes on the topmost stone. Sat on the cloth, the cold instantly working its way through to my bare bottom, my paw-feet dangling over the ten-foot drop. I scratched the gold nugget on the rough face of rock, depositing a tiny amount of gold, so I could find it easily again. The nugget I carried worked like a homing beacon to my skinwalker nature, binding the scratch of gold to itself.

  I texted Alex four words. I’m ready. Follow me.

  Adjusting the strap of the gobag to its smallest size, I hung it on a branch at belly level, close enough to touch, and tucked the necklace into the gobag. I took up the talon as shivers shook through me. I fingered the raptor claw. Closed my eyes. Relaxed. Listened to the night. Felt the pull of the waxing moon growing toward fullness, hidden by the snow clouds. I listened to the beat of my heart.

  I breathed, slowing my body’s functions, my heart rate dropping, my muscles relaxing in meditation. I pulled my knees into a yogi position and breathed, hands on thighs, arms at my sides in the frozen air.

  Quietly, inside me, Beast murmured, Save kit. Even if Jane loses Beast.

  Saving the kid. That’s the idea. But losing you is not part of the deal. I’m not losing you. You remember how you saved us in the chasm, when we fell, and the boulders dropped? Like that. Hang on.

  I hadn’t dropped mass in a long time, and while it wasn’t actually difficult to do, it was also the most dangerous shape-shift, to set aside mass to take on the shape of a smaller animal. Dangerous because the frontal lobes of the human brain were completely lacking in much smaller creatures. I had to set aside the essential parts of myself to achieve the form I needed. It was possible that I might forget who and what I was and never return for the parts of me I was leaving behind, but if I was successful and if I remembered, my memories and my mass would be here, on the clean broken rock, waiting for me to take back myself.

  Mind slowing, I sank into the talon. Deep inside. Conscious thought slipped away, all but the purpose of this hunt. To find and follow Legolas. To rescue EJ and Soul. Those purposes I set into the lining of my flesh, into the deepest parts of my brain, so I wouldn’t forget when I shifted. I dropped deeper. Pulled the Gray Between out from within myself. I began to chant, whispering almost silently, “Mass to mass, stone to stone . . . mass to mass, stone to stone . . .”

  I slid deeper, into the flesh on the wider end of the talon, into the double helix of DNA, the snake lying inside the heart of all creatures on Earth. The transition was like water flowing in the nearby stream. Like the snow falling, resting on my shoulders. The Gray Between streamed over me.

  My breathing raced. Heart rate sped. My last thought was of the animal I was to become. The Eurasian eagle-owl, Bubo bubo.

  Beast thought at me, Remember Beast. Come back for Beast.

  I promise, I thought back at her.

  My bones slid, skin rippled. Mass shifted down, falling to the newly broken stone. Black motes of power sprang along my body, burning and pricking. Mass to mass, stone to stone . . . Pain like a knife slid along my spine. Wings formed and lifted out along my shoulders, metamorphosing from arms. I dropped more mass, my body falling away, altering. Golden feathers, tawny brown, sprouted. My nostrils narrowed, drawing deep, filling smaller lungs. My heart raced, a heart meant to power flight. My talons clawed across the stone, scratching, tearing my piled clothing.

  The night was alive in ways my Beast never saw it. Everything was brighter, intense shades of greens and silvers, with tiny flashes of red and gold and orange. I could hear everything, everywhere. The movement of tree branches a hundred yards away. The sound of water tumbling in the creek, so loud it was like a waterfall roar. The smell of the steak.

  I fluttered my wings and tore into the meat, ripping off strips with my beak and swallowing in greedy gulps. The meat was cold, but my belly was empty and I devoured the meat.

  Eyes meant for the night took in everything as I ate, light and shadow, the movement of the wind in specks of energy that tumbled through the trees and bounced off the cold ground only to rise again. Currents were visible to owl eyes as they twisted and shifted up and down, side to side, and swirled back again the other way. When the food was gone, I spotted the bag and . . . remembered. I was Jane. The small human had been stolen. EJ.

  I ducked my head through the loop of the strap and let it settle against me. Gathered myself, spread my wings, and leaped from the boulder, out over the stones and the creek. Beating the air with a five-foot wingspan. It had been a long time since I flew, but the memory was stored in the snake of the bird. Instinct that threatened to take over, threatened to make me forget I was Jane. I quivered and swayed off course, stretched into flight. Found a rising current of air and let it carry me up.

  My human consciousness merged with the owl’s, dispersed into the cells of the Bubo bubo. I hunted for the creature that had stolen the chick. The creature would not look like living meat. It would look like frozen meat, but the chick would be warm, alive.

  Flew high and leveled out, banking a widening spiral. Bag bumped my chest like prey, pulling against my flight. But bag was important. I needed bag.

  Below, I saw the warmth of creeks, like gleaming trails through ice. Saw the body heat of a deer herd. A small wild boar. A large rabbit. And a chick . . . No. Small human. A child. In the arms of a frozen dead thing. Child’s heart was beating. Was alive. But child was silent.

  Dead thing had long white hair and ran faster than deer. I followed, flying steadily.

  Snow started to fall again. Colors of air currents muddied as snow fell through them.

  I saw lights ahead. Word came slowly to mind. Cars. Lights on.

  Memory came, more sluggish than before.

  I am Jane. I am looking for EJ.

  I folded wings and dove, spreading wings and dipping back, claws outstretched. Settled on top branch of tree. I watched white-haired dead thing run close. Saw other dead things near cars. Saw dead things step behind trees. Making snare of bodies. Waiting for white-haired dead thing.

  Thoughts came. Lego. Legolas has EJ. The Flayer of Mithrans is waiting for him.

  Lego stopped. Lifted his head. Sniffed. Turned and raced into the woods, uphill. Away from the Flayer. Then Lego disappeared. Vanished. To reappear farther away.

  It’s a trap. Understanding came. They aren’t working together. Lego isn’t part of the Flayer’s group.

  Lego lifted his hand as he ran. He was holding something clear and shining. I focused owl eyes in tight. It was a crystal. It was . . . Soul. Lego has Soul. He’s learned how to ride time. Or skip time, at least. And for some reason Soul hasn’t gotten free, though she had the working that should liberate her.

  I felt magics in my middle glow. Looked down with owl eyes. Saw red magics in pointed shape in my owl middle. I knew this was somehow caused by Lego and by Soul. I can’t lose him. Can’t lose EJ. Magics faded inside my feathers. I leaped into the air. Beat strong wings, caught a shining thermal, soaring higher and higher. Banked, studying the cars. Cold dead things were vampires. They had moved. Some were in cars. Some were in the snow, following Lego. Trap had not been sprung. Lego had gotten away, skipping through time.

  I remembered the thing in EJ’s pocket. Molly and Evan could track EJ. Remembered cell phone and saying Follow me. I was not alone.

  I banked and followed Lego and EJ. Warmth was a brightness against the cold air ahead. Squares of light reflected from the windows to the snow. There were houses and cars. Lego put EJ onto snow and raced into the house. From high above, I heard the screams of children and smelled blood. Lego raced out of the house and dropped a large body on the snow. A man. Inside the house, humans screamed. Blood scent rose on the air. The vampire had fed, ripping the man’s throat with his fangs. Lego picked up EJ. Opened the door to the car and got inside, throwing EJ onto the se
at. Car started.

  Vampire is taking EJ. The car moved. Jerked. Moved. Jerked. Stopped.

  I heard sound of many cars coming up the road. Looked. Dove. Circled. Saw cars approaching.

  Thoughts struggled up from the deeps of me. I am Jane. I thought about numbers but I could not understand. My Jane brain was slowing down. My owl brain was taking over. Snow fell. Sleet fell. Owls do not fly in sleet. Ice gathered on my wings, weighing them down. I fluffed my feathers and fought the wind. Watched the ground.

  The cars grew close.

  Lego ran from the broken car into woods, leaving EJ. But he carried the trapped Soul. She hadn’t used the spell to break free. Did the Flayer have a counterspell, or did the fact that Soul was part fish keep her from breaking free?

  Other cars stopped. Vampires raced after Lego. Predators. Other vampires stopped and killed the human in snow. Killed the humans in the house. All the humans, all old humans. Was bad. But was much blood and meat.

  Frozen human with hard chest and long legs opened the car door. Took EJ.

  CHAPTER 18

  Sucks to Be You. Lemme Play My Tiny Violin.

  My thoughts were confused. I did not know what to do. Follow Lego? Follow EJ? I needed more of myself to decide. I wanted to eat the meat in the snow. Wanted to hunt. Wanted to fly high above the clouds or find a safe place to hide through the storm. I did not want to fight the frozen dead thing that had Soul. The vampire. He ran through the sleet and snow, faster than a deer. I followed and then circled back around. I did not know where EJ was. I was supposed to save EJ, to keep him safe.

  Many predators had EJ.

  I could not fight many predators.

  I could kill one.

  I folded my owl wings tight to my body. Aimed my killing beak down. I fell and fell and fell, hard and straight. Adjusted my angle for the heavy bag on my neck. I am Jane. And I am owl.

  I tightened my neck and wings and feet. Vampire-frozen-dead-with-white-hair thing ran fast. Leaping over logs and jumping into folds of the earth, to race up the other side. Skipping time, disappearing and reappearing fast. I focused my eyes on the dead thing’s neck. Lego. Lego’s neck.

  Dropped down hard. Hit. Shock whipped through my owl body. Through the dead thing’s body. I heard bones in his neck break. Swept feet forward and clawed at neck. Cold blood flew. Taste of blood was rich and strong. Frozen thing fell and rolled. Hunger cut through me. I swept my wings back and hovered/followed/flew after it. Downhill. Through the snow. It stopped.

  I landed on the frozen dead thing. On Lego. The bag on my chest hit hard. I hurt. I wanted to leave the bag, but . . . I needed the bag. Did not remember why. I ripped flesh and ate. Ate and ate. Was good food.

  I saw the chain on Lego’s neck. The chain was important. Did not remember why. But it was in the way of good food. I pushed it away and ate more good food. Belly filled with strong meat and rich blood.

  Memory of Jane came back. I am Jane.

  I heard the frozen dead things coming and hooked my beak under the chain on Lego’s neck. The chain did not come free. I hopped to Lego’s head and pulled the chain that way. It came free and I leaped into the air, flying to the branches above my kill. Tucked my wings and fluffed my feathers. I made myself small and warm. The meat had been good. Owl was warm and strong.

  I am Jane. My memories struggled back to me.

  I watched more vampires arrive. Dead things raced around, looking on the ground for the predator who ate Lego. They did not look into the trees overhead.

  They picked up Lego and dragged him back uphill. They talked about Jane Yellowrock. Talked about killing Jane Yellowrock. Talked about using EJ to kill Jane Yellowrock. To steal the treasure of Jane Yellowrock. Jane was like crow, stealing shiny things. Hoarding shiny things. I am Jane.

  I lifted my wings and shook off the snow. Shoved off from the branch and flew high into the air, the bag on my chest and the chain in my beak. I followed the vampires to the cars and then followed the cars to a new human house, one with lights and warmth spilling out everywhere. I circled high, watching vampires go into the house. They carried EJ. EJ was crying. Then there was silence.

  I was cold. Was tired.

  I remembered the warm place where I had been Jane and had eaten not-frozen meat. Was my nest. I flew back to the stream where the steak was and settled onto the rock. I dropped the chain and pecked at frozen blood. The steak was gone. I looked up and saw a human sitting in the snow. Human moved slow and pulled out meat. Not-frozen meat.

  Hungered. Human tossed the meat to the rock. I ate the meat. Was warm. Was good. Human came close, moving slow. Was nest mate. Moved slowslowslow. Touched owl. Pulled bag off neck. Took chain owl had dropped.

  “Hey, Janie. Shift back. I got a warm blanket for you.”

  Was Eli.

  I am Jane.

  I remembered the shape that was my human self.

  I changed. Rocks broke and shattered.

  I became human.

  * * *

  * * *

  “Holy ccccrap on a cracker with toe jjjjam,” I said, my body curled atop the frozen rock. Shivers shook through me. Eli, whose eyes were looking to the side to give me as much privacy as possible, pulled something from under his shirt and tossed it over me. It was a blanket kept warm by his body heat. I sat up and wrapped it around me. “Cccccrap, this feels good.” I focused on him and said, “I found EJ. I think. Lego took him. But Lego and the Flayer weren’t working together. And now the Flayer has him.”

  “Good work, Janie.” Moonlight glowed on the snow, then dimmed as fast-moving clouds hid its face for a moment before freeing the light again. Eli pulled out his cell and tapped in a number. He said, “She’s safe. There are definitely two groups of fangheads. Copy. Copy.”

  He ended the call and said, “That was Bruiser. He’s with Molly, using his Onorio gifts to keep her from killing everything in sight.”

  I pushed up with an arm, trying to stand. Pain slivered through my middle like blades of glass. I gasped and my arm gave out. The pain of my weight resettling stole my breath entirely. Eli didn’t move, evaluating, his face as unemotional as a vamp’s in the darkness. Battle face. He went back to laying fresh warm clothes in my lap. “Stay down. How bad is the pain?”

  My plan to race back to the house and get a group together to save EJ was seriously not happening. It took a few breaths before I could reply. “Fifteen, on a one-to-ten,” I managed. “You didn’t happen to bring the Anzu feather, did you?” Eli pulled the blue feather from a pocket and I stuck it against my belly. The pain faded from fifteen to about a five. Bearable.

  Beneath the blanket I touched my belly, finding the hard points of the star tumor. No bigger, but still there. “Still there,” I whispered. “I’m gonna give it a name.”

  Eli opened a thermos but I waved it away, sick to my stomach. He asked, “Give what a name?”

  Moving slowly, holding the feather in place, I pulled on warm sweatpants and wool socks. “My tumor.”

  Eli said, “Interesting. What are you leaning toward?”

  I loved that my chosen brother was willing to play along. I pulled the sweatshirt over my head. “Voldemort, Sauron, Darth Vader, Gargamel. Gargamel is the Smurf wizard. You know. Magic workers. Because of magical cancer.”

  “Um. I like Dudley. Or Basile. Something less powerful. Vaguely emasculated.”

  “I could go with Dudley.”

  Eli gave me an evil smile. “While you think of names, you also need to figure out how you’re getting back across the creek. Someone threw the tree bridge in the water.”

  I stopped to catch my breath. “In hindsight that may not have been my smartest move.”

  He breathed a soft laugh that didn’t touch his eyes. “Thank you for leaving a trail in the snow that a three-year-old could follow.”

  EJ was in the hands of bloodsuc
kers. “Welcome. I need to shift to half-form.”

  Eli didn’t reply. I pulled on boots, trying to breathe through the pain of movement. When I had them on, Eli handed me the open thermos, steam rising from it. “Try it. It might settle your stomach.” I could smell the chocolate and my mouth watered as I raised the metal cylinder and sipped. It was his wonderful brew, with a hint of bitter undertaste.

  I looked at him, questioning.

  “A double dose of CBD oil. It doesn’t stay in your system when you shift.”

  I sipped some more and my stomach settled. “Thanks. This helped.”

  Eli gathered up my other clothes, the ones buried under an inch of snow. He helped me into a coat. I picked up the high-calorie-drink bottle I had brought, but it was frozen solid. That wasn’t good. Eli ripped open a strip of beef jerky and I took it. Managed to eat and keep it down. I waved away a second roll and the protein bar. No way could I keep that thing down.

  I drank my hot chocolate and felt better. I thought about my half-form, but it seemed very far away. Beast? She didn’t answer. I had shifted into a form she couldn’t share. Had I hurt her? It was always a possibility. I closed my eyes and thought about my Beast, thought about my soul home. I could feel her there, in the darkness, but distant. I’m sorry, I thought at her. She didn’t reply. From my soul home, I could see the star energies in my middle. Oddly, they were moving slower. “I can’t shift to half-form right now. Beast is . . . something’s wrong with her.”