The Best of Me

by Tina Wainscott

  “Me, chivalrous? No way. I was protecting myself.”

  “Oh, I see!” He was moving them slowly toward the shore with her anchored in his arms. “And now you’re not worried?”

  “I don’t care. I’ve been fantasizing about this body and this mouth ever since you left, and kicking myself for not taking advantage of you.” He kissed her again. “I’d convinced myself it was for the best. And now you’re back.”

  He wanted her. The thought slithered like a warm breeze through her body. As he neared the shore, he scooped her up in his arms, walking toward the boathouse. “You ever made love in a hammock before?”

  She looked up thoughtfully, hoping he couldn’t tell her heart was beating faster than bird wings. “Nope, can’t say that I have.”

  He carried her over the boardwalk and deposited her in the hammock, not even waiting for it to stop swinging before dropping down on top of her.

  “Well, then, let me initiate you.”

  The sun shone in the window next to them, lighting his green eyes to match the sparkling water outside. She reached up and placed her palms on either side of his face, sliding them back through his damp curls as he worked her wet skirt down. He ducked down to slide free of his swimming trunks and disappeared for a moment.

  Just as she started to sit up, she felt his mouth on her toe, and then his tongue moving slowly up her calf to her thighs, and he kissed her springy hair before moving over her stomach that quivered beneath his touch. She inhaled sharply as his fingers followed the movements of his mouth, but lingered at her most private area to wend through the hair and tease what was beneath.

  Her fingers anchored in his hair as he nibbled across her skin while his fingers took her right to the edge of ecstasy. She could feel the soft tip of him sliding up and down her thigh, and she was sure she’d never wanted a man the way she wanted Chris.

  “Mmm.” The sound escaped her mouth as she arched and drowned in waves of pleasure. He made a similar sound when she reached for him, sliding her fingers up and down the length of him in slow rhythm that coincided with the swinging of the hammock.

  He lifted off her tank top, looking down at her body as though she were the most beautiful creature on earth. His hands slid over her breasts, lingering on each one in slow circles, tantalizing the stiff peaks until she was sure she’d explode. Then, agonizingly slowly, he moved down over her stomach and thighs, which he coaxed apart.

  The tip of him gently prodded at her, but he hesitated when he felt resistance.

  “You’re tight,” he said, reaching down and sliding a finger in, making her breath catch all over again.

  “It’s been more than a year….”

  He tilted his head. “You haven’t made love with anyone in more than a year?”

  “Not since my ex and I got divorced.”

  “Oh, geez, you are sweet,” he said, kneeling lower and kissing her and making her forget all those lonely nights when she didn’t feel so sweet or vindicated for her virtue.

  As he kissed her, his finger slid out and caressed her folds again. She didn’t want to wait any longer to feel him inside her, and was about to say so…and then decided not to as pleasure curled through her body again. Her breath hitched as her chest tightened. Her toes flexed, and her fingers twined in his hair as she shuddered in pure delight. She opened her eyes and found him watching her with satisfaction. Even as waves of bliss washed over her, she pulled him close and wrapped her legs around him. He gently maneuvered in, easing into her until she felt him in every inch of her body.

  “Lucy,” he said between kisses, melting her with the way he said her name.

  Like riding a bicycle, she thought, quickly becoming one with his rhythm. Only she was going from a tricycle to a Harley Davidson. She pulled him closer as the feelings built inside her, taking away all her trepidations about being there and making love to a man she could not have. For now, she wanted him, and that’s all she knew. Then she knew nothing as white stars filled her vision and her body exploded from the inside out.

  He paused, as though savoring her climax, and then his body tightened as he thrust into her once more, holding her close as a violent shiver overtook him. She clung to him just as tightly, not wanting any of this to end, ever, ever….

  It was a few minutes before she could hear the sounds around them again. Birds, water lapping at the pilings beneath them, the thudding of her own heartbeat. Her eyes felt heavy, but her body felt light, floating.

  He looked down at her, rubbing his fingers over her collarbone. “Lucy, you’re one habit that’s going to be hard to break.”

  He had no illusions as to why she’d come, no expectations that she’d stay. She should feel relieved, but she didn’t. Of course she had no intention of throwing away her present life, and she didn’t want him to think she did, but couldn’t he at least wish she would?

  “And I was stupid enough to think coming back would bring closure, or get you out of my system, or I don’t know what.”

  “This is a big mistake.”

  “I know.”

  “A really bad idea.”

  She sighed. “I know.”

  He leaned close. “I’m glad you came.”

  “But don’t you wish—”

  He kissed her silent. “Don’t wish, Lucy. Just be.”

  “Oh, I am. Believe me, I am.”

  LATER THAT AFTERNOON, as the sun began looking red and gold, Lucy watched Chris from the short distance between the boardwalk and the nets. Her legs dangled over the edge, toes dipping into the water on the downward swing. If she didn’t think about next week or next month or all the time beyond that, life was perfect.

  “You think this is funny, don’t you?” Chris said to Liberty as yet another fish escaped the fate of being dinner.

  Liberty chattered happily, ready to chase another fish, and Lucy couldn’t help laughing at their exchange. She loved the way Chris looked when he was concentrating, when he wanted something to work really, really bad.

  He let go of another fish, and Liberty chased it all around the pen, even to the shallow end where his dorsal fin stuck way out of the water, then to the sides of the pen until the fish found a hole in the net and slipped through.

  “That’s it, fella.” Chris held up the bucket to show Liberty that no more of those fascinating things lurked inside.

  When Liberty swam over to the edge of the net nearest her, she tilted her head at him.

  “Don’t even look at him, Lucy.”

  “Not even a sympathetic look?”

  “Nope, not even that. He needs to learn not to expect human interaction, response…or sympathy,” he added with a wry grin as he headed toward her on the boardwalk.

  She slid a sideways glance at Liberty, who was still trying to appeal to her compassion. “But it’s so hard to ignore him.”

  “Believe me, I know it. It’s all part of the untraining process. It gets even harder, when I stop talking to him altogether. Let me wash up and we’ll grab a bite at Barney’s.”

  BARNEY’S WAS HOPPING with locals, and the jukebox was nixed in favor of a live band playing what Chris told her was the native goombay music.

  They sat side by side, like a regular, vacationing couple. And yet, they could never be that couple. Still, it was nice to pretend. Geez, Lucy, that’s what you’re doing here, isn’t it? Pretending you could make it work, pretending there aren’t two major obstacles between you and him—his life and yours.

  “You’re not thinking about work, are you?” he asked.

  She jerked out of her thoughts, giving him a smile. “No, just thinking.”

  “About when you have to leave.”

  She gave him a surprised look. “How did you know?” When he shrugged, she said, “For someone who doesn’t think much of people or hang around them, you sure know a lot about what makes them tick.”

  He took her hand, pressing the back of it to his mouth. “So, when are you leaving?”

  “I made the return fo
r next week, but I’m not totally against changing it. When do you think you’ll let Liberty go free?”

  “As soon as he starts eating live fish. I had a vet take some blood tests last week, and Liberty’s free of pathogens that could kill wild dolphins. Now it’s up to Liberty. When I’m sure he’s able to eat on his own, I’ll set him free, then keep an eye on him for another week or so before I leave. Next month I’ll be back again to try to find him, make sure he’s doing all right, and then again a few months later.”

  “I’d like to stay until you release Liberty,” she said at last, when the emotion wasn’t clogging her throat.

  He reached out and touched her chin, taking it in a gentle hold. “I’d like that.”

  She couldn’t help remembering their earlier encounter when he’d tried to shoo her away. He worked alone, but now he was letting her in.

  WHEN THEY RETURNED to the boathouse, Chris walked down to check on Liberty, while Lucy made her way to the edge of the deck and sat facing the sun. It was a huge ball of orange fire, touching down on the horizon. He watched her silhouette, warming at the sight of her waiting for him. It was going to be hard to let her go again. He couldn’t let either one of them wish for things that could never be.

  He slipped on a pair of sunglasses before wading out waist-high where Liberty watched the live fish swimming around in the cage. From now on, he didn’t want Liberty to make eye contact with him during feedings. It was also time to limit what he said to the dolphin. Soon Liberty wouldn’t have a voice to coax him to eat.

  The dolphin now sported a triangle just below the dorsal fin so that he could be tracked later. Even though Chris swore it wasn’t painful, Lucy had made herself scarce during the freeze-branding process.

  He leaned down to open the door. Liberty’s flukes wagged in anticipation. One more chance today. Otherwise you gotta wait until tomorrow.

  As soon as Liberty started eating live fish, Chris would start feeding him fewer dead fish. He pulled out the fish and trimmed the tail so Liberty might have a chance to catch the slower fish. Liberty touched the fish Chris held beneath the water with his snout. He didn’t jump back this time.

  You gonna do it for me? Come on, fella. Chris let the fish go. Liberty chased it, and Chris held his breath as the dolphin got closer and closer. The fish was making its unsteady way toward the nets. Liberty’s powerful flukes kicked in, and he reached the net a second before the fish.

  And then he caught it. He seemed a little disconcerted for a moment as the fish wriggled in his mouth. He swam around and popped his head out of the water to show Chris. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t going to say or do a thing to interfere. And then Liberty popped the fish up in the air, caught it and swallowed it.

  “Yes!” Chris shouted, pulling his fist down in victory. “You did it!”

  “Did he eat one on his own?” Lucy called out. She was beautiful, washed in the hues of the sunset and looking as excited as he felt.

  “He sure did. You brought us luck, Lucy.”

  Chris set another fish free, and Liberty made chase again before catching the mackerel.

  Pretty soon no more tail trimming, fella. For now, Chris didn’t want to discourage him with fish that were too quick to catch. Another mackerel went free only to be snagged by Liberty. He clicked and whistled, and Chris hoped he still remembered all of the nuances of dolphin language.

  After a few more fish, Liberty was catching them easily. The last one he played with, tossing it up in the air and chasing it again once it hit the water. He was full.

  Good night, Liberty, and dream of freedom. Chris headed toward the shore.

  That warm, satisfied feeling filled his chest the way it always did when he claimed a victory. That feeling grew into something different when he looked toward the end of the boathouse deck.

  He couldn’t keep his eyes off Lucy as he walked up the boardwalk. She was sitting the same way she’d sat earlier when she’d watched him work with Liberty. Her brown hair blew in the breeze, and she sat leaning on the lower railing, resting her chin on the top edge. He quietly came up behind her, sliding his legs on either side and resting against her back.

  This felt so natural, sitting there with his chin on her shoulder, and the way she turned her cheek slightly in greeting without saying a word. What would it be like, having a partner, someone to share the joys and the heartaches with? He truly couldn’t imagine it, because it always had been just him, alone.

  She had come back for him. He couldn’t get over it, couldn’t fathom that she’d left her heart with him. Even if her presence was only a tease, an interlude, he’d take it. Tasting a bit of the good of life made him remember that life was more than dolphins, and that he still had a heart beating inside him. It was a good reminder, but it wasn’t going to make it any less painful when she left again.

  He pointed out over the water. “Look,” he said softly, as though the scene demanded some kind of reverence. For him, it did. And so it seemed, for her, too.

  She sucked in a breath. “Dolphins!” She whispered the word, sensing what he felt.

  Two dorsal fins rose in counter tandem, almost blending in with the choppiness of the waves. They moved closer to the pen.

  “Are they here to see Liberty?” she asked, breathless awe in her voice.

  “They’ve been by a few times, one or two of them. As soon as I put him in the pen, he started sending out signals, and this pod was nearby. I knew about the pod before I came here and had tracked their movements and numbers. I had to be sure Liberty would have a pod to join. They usually hover outside the nets. They can’t discern what the net is from their signals. All they know is that it’s something unnatural, but Liberty tells them not to be afraid.”

  “Really?” She twisted around so she could watch the two fins bobbing near the net’s edge. “Should you let him go while they’re here?”

  “He’s not ready yet. Hopefully they’ll be back, but it’s a chance I have to take. I don’t want Liberty going free without knowing that he can catch his own dinner.”

  “How do you know when a dolphin’s ready?”

  “They make it clear to those who can understand.”

  The dolphin exchange lasted for fifteen minutes, until the two dolphins returned to their pod and their world. Her lower lip pushed out as she watched them leave.

  “Oh, please come by again and keep Liberty company,” she pleaded, her heart in her voice. “He needs you.”

  He squeezed her shoulder, then leaned closer and pressed his lips against her bare skin. “He’ll be all right. I wouldn’t let him go if I thought otherwise.”

  “I know that.” She turned to him. “Is that what you thought about me? That since I would be all right, it was okay to let me go and not write or call?”

  “Maybe. I knew it wouldn’t be the same, talking to you on the phone, or worse, trying to put a letter together.” He looked past her, trailing his finger up and down her arm. “And I did think you’d forget all about us, go on with your life.”

  She touched his chin, moving his face until he met her gaze. “Did you forget about me that easily, Chris?”

  “I kept my focus on Liberty.”

  She wouldn’t let it go. “Is that a yes?”

  He should have said yes and left it at that, but he shook his head instead. Damn. Evading he could do, but not lying. “At the park I kept looking up, waiting for you to walk over. And every night, I could still feel you and smell you.”

  She let out a long breath and leaned forward to kiss him. She had a dreamy look in her eyes, a look that made him wish for more.

  “I think I love you, Chris Maddox,” she said on a whisper.

  He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers and letting the words echo in his head. “Don’t say that, Lucy.”

  “Why? Does it scare you?”

  “No, it makes me want you more than I already do, more than I should.” He looked up, sliding his fingers beneath her chin. “And that’s one heartache
too many.”

  “We can keep in touch. I know phone calls and letters aren’t the same, but it’s something.”

  “Nope, can’t do it. It has to be all or nothing.”

  She leaned back, a teasing smile on her face. “Why don’t you ask me to give it all up and chase dolphin dreams with you?” Beneath that smile, though, he sensed something more serious.

  “I can’t do that.” He had to stop that wishful look in her eyes. What if she said yes, then inevitably became bored and wanted her material world back? She’d already come to mean far too much for him to risk that, for both their sakes.

  She looked him full in the face and asked, “Don’t you want me?”

  He answered her with only a kiss.

  14

  MAKING LOVE with Chris was as natural to Lucy as if they’d been making love for a lifetime, as if their souls were made for this, but fate had taken them in different directions. She didn’t think she loved him; she knew it, with all of her heart, with everything that was inside her. And if loving him would prove the most painful thing in her life, then she’d pay that price to have touched his soul.

  The sun had long ago set, taking the hues of gold and leaving behind a moon so bright, it looked like morning had already come. Moonshine washed everything in hues of gray and black, except for the ocean. That it brought to life in a shower of diamonds.

  They cuddled on the beach in the shadow of a rock formation. After they had returned to earth, he had spooned her against him. Even though the length of their bodies pressed together, it didn’t seem enough for him. His hand skimmed her bare skin, the curve of her hip and the length of her leg. He cherished and revered her with his touch. Never had she been treated that way before. To everyone else in her life, she was the daughter they were proud of, the wife and now ex-wife who didn’t put enough into the business, the boss or colleague who commanded respect.

  Here on Nassau she was a woman who had found her true self buried deep inside her, a woman who reveled in life and all of the thousand pleasures it could bestow upon her…a woman who loved. But was she a woman willing to give up one life for another?