The Best of Me

by Tina Wainscott

  “Just answer me.”

  “I’m pres—” He shook his head. “I…well, I have—Luce, this is ridiculous!”

  “I couldn’t answer that question, either.” Her voice softened. “And you know what? It scared me. Lucy Donovan was a title and a list of traits you’d find in a business article. But I found who I was down in Nassau, with Chris and the dolphins. And now I’m afraid to give this up. And why? Because I’m worried what people will think of me. What you and Mother and my stepfather will think. Lucy’s lost her mind, that’s what they’ll think.

  “I go home every night, alone, and look at everything I’ve accumulated in my life. I asked myself how I would feel if one day I came home and it was all gone. You know what? It didn’t hurt the way I thought it would. If I imagined the business going under and losing everything, I didn’t feel the panic that you obviously feel at that thought.”

  His eyes had widened and his hand had gone defensively to his chest. “Luce, that’s horrible.”

  “Look at you. You would be devastated, because this is your life, who you are. It doesn’t feel that way to me anymore. Maybe it never did. I’ve been looking at my life, and I probably look like a zombie because I spend all night doing it. I’ve picked apart my life, and myself, and I can’t find my dreams anywhere. I found your dreams, Mother’s, Father’s. Lucy didn’t have any dreams, because Lucy never existed. She was a combination of everyone’s expectations.” She picked up the poster. “This is my dream. This is who I am, what I want.”

  “Underwear?”

  She looked at the poster of the dolphin underwear she was holding and flung it away. “Chris is the man I want to be with, no matter that he isn’t what everyone else wants me to have. I have never known the happiness I knew when I was with him.”

  She took a deep breath as the truth settled inside her. Oh, my, what was she saying? Her heart had made decisions without consulting her. Again.

  Tom stood there for a few minutes, letting her words sink in. “I never knew you felt this way. Did you feel this way when we were married?”

  “I never allowed myself to think of what I wanted, Tom. I let myself be molded and guided until I didn’t know who I was anymore.”

  “So…this guy…does he want to marry you and take you away to save dolphins with him?”

  She forced in a breath, looking away from Tom. “I don’t know.”

  “You’re ready to throw all this away and you don’t even know if the guy wants you?”

  Her eyes felt hot and moist, her face flushed. Why was she telling him all this?

  A knock sounded on the door, and her secretary popped her head inside. “I have an overnight package for you.” Lucy started to toss it on her desk when her secretary added, “It’s from Key Largo.”

  Her fingers tightened on the cardboard just as she was about to let it go. “Thank you, Edie,” Lucy managed before she closed the door.

  “From him, I presume?” Tom said.

  She ripped open the string and pulled out a packet. A huge smile lit her face when she saw pictures of her and Chris feeding Liberty, of Liberty with his head popped out of the water smiling for the camera, and of Lucy by herself waist-deep in crystal water.

  “Look at you.” He was peering over her shoulder. “Luce, you look…beautiful.”

  She turned to him. “I have dimples. Did you know that? Did you ever see dimples on my face?”

  “No, but you have them now. Maybe I just missed them.”

  “So did I, until I met Chris.” She pulled out the disappointingly short note.

  Miss Lucy,

  Ima sent these pictures, so I asked for another set to send to you. I also sent you a set of the ones I took. Now you’ll have proof of those dimples. I’m back at home for now, though it looks like I’ll be off to a park in Hawaii soon to check out two dolphins being held at a hotel lagoon. Liberty’s doing great. I’m taking a flight down there this weekend to take the chopper up and find him. I’ll give him your regards.

  Miss you,

  Chris

  She sucked in a long breath, holding the note to her heart. He’d written! He missed her. And he wasn’t cutting her off.

  “Miss Lucy?” Tom said, intruding on her thoughts.

  “That’s what he called me—Miz Lucy, actually. It started as a joke and turned into something else.”

  “I’ve never seen you like this.” He glanced at the pictures. “Or like that.”

  “Now you know what I’m talking about. Have you ever looked that happy?”

  “Probably. I’m sure I have, sometime or another.”

  “That’s what I thought, too.” She walked over to her desk and grabbed her purse. “I’ve got to get out of here for a while. I won’t be able to work now.”

  He glanced at the dolphin poster. “Like you were before?”

  She shot him a look. “Give me time to figure out what I want.”

  “What about what he wants?”

  “I need to figure that out, too.”

  And she walked out, overnight package clutched in her hand, dimples on her cheeks.

  LUCY’S STEP had not been as light in years, or so the past three weeks had felt like. The cool air made her think of balmy breezes and warm sunshine. And now he was going to Hawaii. But he’d broken his rule about clean breaks. What did it mean?

  Sitting on a park bench, she reread the letter seven more times, looking for anything that might indicate he wanted her with him. He missed her, she had proof of that in writing. But he’d not asked her to join him down in Nassau. She had already returned to him once, chancing heartbreak and rejection. But that was temporary, and they both had known it. But this time….

  His words echoed through her mind, when she’d cried over Liberty’s release. I always tell myself that I won’t get attached to them, because letting them go is what I’m all about….

  I keep in mind that they’re going to leave someday…. I know they belong in their world and I belong in mine, and so for however brief our time is together that our worlds touch, I must always let them go. If there was some way I could keep them without violating the very thing I fight for, I would. They can’t travel with me, and I can’t stay in their world, either. It always has to come down to that, letting go forever.

  She put her hand to her heart. He hadn’t only been talking about the dolphins. He’d been talking about her, too. He had been willing to let her go because, like the dolphins, he knew that she belonged in her world and could not survive in his. Maybe he’d been wrong.

  She looked back at the sleek building Advertising Genius was in. If she gave it all up today, would she miss it? Would she regret it?

  She glanced back at the pictures. No, she would not. That’s what she missed, what she regretted leaving behind. She walked over to a hot dog vendor’s cart and borrowed a napkin.

  Chris,

  Thank you for the pictures. They came at the perfect time, because I’d almost forgotten about that girl with the dimples. Right now I feel rather lost, maybe like Liberty felt when he lived in the pool and wasn’t quite a dolphin nor a human.

  The pain is not going away, nor is the loneliness. I keep asking myself the question, could we make it work somehow? I know you work alone, but maybe I could be a partner, doing the PR end of things. All I know is, I can’t stop thinking about you and wanting to be with you, and everything I used to think was important doesn’t compare to being with you and working to free the dolphins.

  You were wrong when you said my experience with you would touch me but wouldn’t change my life. And really wrong when you said I’d find happiness in my own sphere. I found it in your sphere.

  You probably think I’m chicken, writing instead of calling or showing up. You’re right. I feel so lost, I couldn’t handle a live rejection. If you never wanted me in your life, tell me in writing. You said you wanted all or nothing, but you never gave me the choice. I want you to ask me for all—that is, if you want me. You know, one of those for
ever kind of things.

  Please let me know soon.

  Love (and I mean that),

  Lucy

  She returned to the office with the napkin. She wanted to rewrite it on nice stationery, but knew she’d revise and revise until it wasn’t as honest or bold, so she tucked the napkin in an overnight envelope with her sketches and addressed it to Chris—sealed with a kiss.

  BY FRIDAY, Lucy was sure there was a secret strike at Federal Express; that was why she hadn’t gotten a response. Not to mention sabotage of the phone lines. She checked both on an hourly basis.

  “You ready to go to lunch yet?” Vicki asked, crossing her arms as she leaned against the front of the desk. “I’m starved.”

  “Let me check one more—”

  “Lucy! Get a grip on yourself. Have you no pride anymore?”

  “No, none at all.” She dialed the number, and the Federal Express operator assured her all deliveries were on time. Again.

  “I’m taking you out of town for the weekend. Maybe to one of those spa places we’ve been talking about going to for absolutely ever.”

  Lucy paced in front of the window. “I’m not sure I feel up to it.”

  Vicki cringed. “Geez, you’d think I asked you to join the army.”

  A knock sounded on the door, and Edie poked her head in. “Lucy, you have a…visitor.”

  The door opened, and Lucy’s knees buckled as Chris walked in. He was wearing white pants and a green cotton shirt like the one she wore to bed every night. And his shark’s-tooth necklace. He looked totally out of place, and completely gorgeous. Behind him, she glimpsed a few people hovering in the background, wondering who the stranger was, no doubt.

  Lucy gripped the desk. “Chris,” she said on a breath. “Is it really you? Or am I hallucinating?”

  “I think it’s me.” He patted himself, smiling. “Yeah, I guess it really is.” He nodded toward her. “That’s probably the way I looked when you came back to Nassau.”

  Vicki cleared her throat, walking on enviously steady legs to Chris and extended her hand. “I’m Vicki. It’s nice to meet you. Lucy’s only talked about you a little…every second of the day.” She shot Lucy an approving look, lifting her eyebrow. “I guess lunch is off, as well as that spa weekend, so there’s no need for me to stick around. Unless, of course, you want me to…” Lucy waved her off. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Have fun, kids.”

  She closed the door behind her, and Lucy felt that familiar rush of warmth. She stood on wobbly legs, but he closed the distance and pulled her into his arms. She melted against him, inhaling the fresh, salt-air aroma that clung to him. Everything rushed back to her, the breezes, sunshine, moonlit nights. All that bare skin…

  He cradled her face in his hands. “God, it’s good to see you again.”

  “Better than good.” She ran her fingers up by his hands and then looked at his wrist. “The bracelet’s gone.”

  He shrugged. “It didn’t do me much good after all, so I chucked it.”

  Her fingers tightened over his wrists. She searched his eyes for the answer to her letter, but all she saw was appreciation. “Chris, you’re here…” She nodded slowly, and he did the same, waiting for her to go on. “Does that mean…I mean…you got my letter, didn’t you?”

  “Letter?”

  Her heart dropped. “You didn’t get my letter? They said you signed for it.”

  “My neighbor signs my name for any packages that come in while I’m gone. I flew to Hawaii right after I sent the pictures to you. You got them, didn’t you?” She nodded, trying to put his presence into perspective. “The group out there that wanted me to look at the two dolphins arranged for a ticket the next day. I flew here on the way back.”

  She released the breath she’d been holding. “You didn’t read my letter.”

  “I’m sorry.” He cradled her closer. “You can tell me in person.”

  She groaned. “Why are you here?”

  “Because when I got to Hawaii, I kept thinking of things to tell you, things to share with you the way we shared in Nassau. I kept hearing you asking questions, seeing your eyes filled with wonder. I knew I missed you, but I never realized how much until then. So I changed my ticket to come here. You want to know why I’m here?”

  She was on the edge. “Yes.”

  “I came because I love you, Lucy. I can’t live without you.” He glanced around at the finery of her office, the view of the city beyond. “I can’t give you this. I can’t offer you the good life, but I can offer you my love, adventure, fulfillment, travel and a partnership of a different kind. You and me first, Lucy. Then the dolphins. But you have to know they’re a part of the deal. Ah, why are you crying?”

  She threw herself into his arms, hot tears flowing down her cheeks. “These were sad tears I’ve been holding in ever since I left Nassau. You just turned them into happy tears, and it feels so good to be happy again.”

  He held her close for a few minutes and then pulled back to look at her tearstained face. “Are you saying yes?” He blinked, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly.

  “Are you asking me to marry you?”

  “You know my policy, Miz Lucy—all or nothing.”

  “Then the answer is all. Yes, yes, yes!”

  “But this was too easy. I thought I’d have to work harder to convince you, tell you I was wrong to think I could treat you like a dolphin and go on without you.”

  “You’ll understand when you get my letter.”

  He kissed her in the way she’d been dreaming of every night, long and languorously. She tasted the salt of her tears and it reminded her of their saltwater kisses in the ocean.

  “Are you sure?” he asked when he pulled back again. “I mean, this is nice. This is what you’re used to. You’ve seen what I’m used to.”

  “You think this is sudden, this decision.” She shook her head. “I’ve been thinking of nothing else since I returned. I had a long talk with my partner the morning I got the photographs. And I realized what I want is you, to be with you and work with the dolphins. I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m crazy—and they will. All I care about is being happy, and being happy means being with you.”

  “Ah, Miz Lucy.” He swiped at his eyes, and she saw they were misty. “You want to come down to Nassau with me tomorrow and see if we can find Liberty?”

  “Anywhere, Chris. The good places and the bad, the paperwork and the fights with government agencies, as long as I’m with you.”

  His eyes sparkled like the Caribbean waters. “What say we get married while we’re there? Nassau does have sentimental value, after all.”

  “To be sure,” she said with a grin. “Bailey and Bill can be our witnesses.” She pulled out copies of the artwork she’d sent him. “What do you think?”

  “You did this?”

  “Yep. Told you it was all I could think about.”

  He hugged her again. “You’re incredible.”

  “Let’s get out of here. You can show me how incredible I am. Oh my gosh, I’ve got to tell my parents, Tom…everyone.” Her look of trepidation turned into a smile. “I don’t care. I’ll tell them when I get back from Nassau.”

  “When we get back from Nassau. Remember, we’re a team now.”

  “Ooh, I love you.” She kissed the tip of his nose and pulled his hand toward the door.

  He surprised her by swooping her up the way he’d done that day at the beach before they’d made love the first time. Like the movie, she realized, the one she’d wanted to live. She opened the door, and he carried her through. Her arms were looped around his neck, and she snuggled up to him.

  “Lucy, there’s a call—” Edie stopped, phone in hand and mouth wide open.

  “I’m taking the day off, Edie. No, the rest of the decade off! Forever off!” She kicked up her feet, making one of her pumps hang precariously from her toe.

  Edie smiled. “So he’s the reason you’ve been down since you came back from vacation.�
��

  “I’m not down anymore.”

  “I can see that.” Edie returned to the phone. “Er, I’m afraid Ms. Donovan is a little…up in arms right now. Can I take a message?”

  When they turned toward the lobby, they nearly ran into Tom. With a subtle signal, Chris let her slide down to her feet.

  “Tom, I want you to meet Chris, the man I was telling you about. The man I’m going to marry this weekend.”

  The two men shook hands. Tom was openly studying Chris, who didn’t seem bothered by the scrutiny.

  Tom turned to her. “Does this mean—”

  “Yep. We’ll discuss the terms of your buying me out when we get back from Nassau this weekend. We’re going to be involved in a little joint venture down there with a small hotel, and I’ll be the publicity director for the Free Dolphin Society. Congratulate me, Tom. I found Lucy.”

  He turned to Chris. “Take good care of her.” Chris tightened his arm around her. “Oh, I plan to.”

  “Well, Tom, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a little fantasy to live out.” Chris swooped her back up into his arms. “Ciao.”

  Epilogue

  One year later…

  “WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?” Lucy handed Chris the letter she’d drafted to the government of Antigua. They had recently banned Matt Adamson’s entrance into the country to educate the public about a new dolphin swim program. Matt was one of their new associates, along with a secretary. They now operated out of a storefront space in a nearby shopping plaza.

  Chris took the letter out onto the small deck that overlooked the beach. She’d been amused to see that his “small” place in the Keys was a stilt house right on the Atlantic Ocean. Oh, it was small, at least in comparison to the apartment she’d sold in Minneapolis. But it was plenty big enough for the two of them. Though she had added her woman’s touch to his home, he wouldn’t let her put much of her money into either the house or the organization. She suspected that he was afraid she’d come to her senses and head back to her other world. When he thought she was asleep, he voiced those fears: I don’t know what I’d do without you, Lucy. She had some news that would forever squash his doubts.