Vice

by Elana Johnson

  She hoped this new relationship with Lucas could help with that, because she’d felt fire between them just by talking to him on the phone. And how cute was it that he’d gotten nervous and had to have his friend—a man named Jordan, thankfully—talk to her?

  Julie smiled, a ray of sunshine and happiness moving through her soul that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

  It felt like…hope, and she really wanted it to stay.

  Monday night, Julie entered Mister Donaldson’s room. “I hear you’re asking for more meds,” she said. Her shift was almost over, and her feet were screaming about it.

  “Everything hurts,” the older man moaned. She’d looked at his chart less than a minute ago, and he’d had the maximum pain medication allowed only ninety minutes ago. She hated this part of the job, where she saw people in pain and couldn’t give them what they wanted.

  “I’m going to have to call the doctor,” she said. “You got a thousand milligrams an hour and a half ago.”

  “If you can’t help me, go away,” the old man snarled.

  Instead of doing that, Julie closed her eyes for a moment, trying to find how she felt. She often had impressions about how to help a patient, but she had to listen hard to find them.

  She shouldn’t leave, she knew that.

  She needed to get him talking.

  She put his chart in the slot on the end of his bed and pulled the chair next to him. She took his hand in hers and said, “Tell me about your wife.”

  He blinked, clear surprise in his eyes. Julie was glad to be sitting down, true. But she also thought this tactic might work for long enough that she could then give him another small dose of painkillers before the shift change.

  He began to talk, and Julie nodded and said, “Mm hm,” whenever she felt it necessary. Within fifteen minutes, Mister Donaldson had fallen asleep. Julie smiled to herself, glad she’d been able to help this one person, in this one small town, through this one small thing. Simple scenarios like this were why she’d become a nurse in the first place.

  She’d just stepped outside, back into the brightly lit hallway, when she saw the night nurses had all congregated at the station. That was her signal that her shift was almost over. Relief flooded her, because today had been a long day, with a lot of difficult patients, and she couldn’t wait to get home and take a nice, hot bath.

  In the staff room, she opened her locker and shrugged into her coat. Her phone flashed with a steady blue light, indicating she’d missed texts or calls or both. Her heart always did a little dance when she had messages, because one of them could be from Lawrence.

  None of them were, though. Her mother. Liza. Charlie. The family group text.

  And one from Lucas.

  Julie smiled as she tapped there first, her eyes eager to read what he’d said. He probably wanted to know where to pick her up, or where they were meeting for coffee the next day.

  “Oh.” Her smile slipped away, and her heart beat now inside a cold, hollow chest.

  Hey Julie, he’d said. I can’t make it tomorrow. Sorry.

  Nothing else. He’d just canceled, with less than twenty-four hours’ notice.

  “You’re not a doctor’s office,” she muttered to herself, a new brand of darkness entering her soul. “He doesn’t have to cancel in advance.”

  She shoved her phone in her purse when Melinda and Jane came into the staff room. “Hey, we’re going to Rock Creek for pizza. Do you want to come?” Melinda held a hopeful, expectant look on her face, and Julie suddenly didn’t want to be alone.

  “Yes,” she said, slamming her locker. “I’m in.”

  If Lucas didn’t want to spend thirty minutes with her to get coffee, fine. Maybe she’d imagined the heat between them. Maybe she’d fantasized or romanticized things too much. It wouldn’t be the first time.

  But she wasn’t going to let him make a fool out of her. No man was ever going to do that again.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  On Saturday morning, Felicia had been sitting in her car for twenty minutes before the first motorcycle pulled up to Cornerstone Books. This was the meeting place for the Bikers & Books event, though the bikers would then take their book-needy new friends to wherever they needed to in order to get the books on their lists.

  She’d read all about it on the website, and she hoped it was current and up-to-date.

  And it was, because not ten seconds later, Jordan pulled up on his bike. He took off his helmet and did some sort of biker handshake with the other man who’d arrived before him. Felicia recognized him, but she couldn’t recall his name. It wasn’t Maverick or Lucas, but he wore a leather jacket identical to Jordan’s, with the intricate snaking S on the back, a cross positioned between all of the curves.

  A flood of people began to arrive after that, some in cars and some on bikes. Jordan was clearly running things, and the bookshop owner brought a table outside and put hot drinks and pastries on it.

  Felicia got out of her car at precisely nine o’clock, which was just in time to hear Jordan say, “All right, everyone, gather round. I have assignments ready, and a packet of information for our luncheon today.”

  She stood on the fringes of the crowd, out of Jordan’s sight as he talked about the program and how grateful he was to be involved in it for the ninth straight year. “Florence here at Cornerstone had ordered in some of the requests,” he said. “And we have the bookstore in the mall, and the one at the college who’ve done the same. You don’t have to get everything here, though Florence has arranged a fifteen-percent off discount for any purchase made through the Sentinels today.”

  The crowd clapped and cheered, and Felica couldn’t help smiling. This was a very good thing the Sentinels did. Not just them, but Jordan specifically. He’d put this whole event together, and to see him speaking to a crowd only made him more of a hero in her eyes.

  Those eyes filled with tears—again—and she barely sucked them back before they fell. She’d been so stupid since Sunday, and she could only hope Jordan would forgive her.

  “Lunch is at Flounders at eleven-thirty, and all you need to do is say you’re with the Sentinels, and you’ll be shown to the banquet room. All right? Bikers, you have your assignments. Let’s get paired up and get our book shopping done.”

  A cheer went up, and Felicia joined in. What a wonderful gift these bikers were giving to both old and young. The crowds started to disperse, some getting in cars while the vast majority moved toward the entrance of Cornerstone Books.

  The parking lot emptied but for a few bikers, one of whom was Jordan. Felicia almost fled to the safety of her car, but she couldn’t seem to move at all. Lucas spotted her first, and he tapped Jordan’s arm and head-nodded in her direction.

  Jordan turned, and everything happened in slow motion after that.

  Felicia managed to lift her arm in a wave, wondering why she didn’t talk to Pearl before doing this insane thing. Pearl would’ve known what to do. Pearl would’ve given her an idea of what to say to the incredibly handsome biker walking toward her.

  “Felicia,” he said, plenty of surprise in his voice. “What are you doing here?” He glanced around the parking lot like he’d need witnesses for whatever was about to happen.

  “I don’t want to break-up,” she said. “I mean, I know I don’t get to decide that all by myself, but I don’t want you to break-up with me.”

  Jordan sighed and dropped his chin toward the ground. “Sweetheart, it wasn’t working.”

  “But it can,” she said. “I was stupid. I know that.”

  “You’re not stupid,” he said, very quietly.

  “Can you give me another chance?” she asked. “I just got freaked out by what happened on Sunday, and instead of working through it with you, I pushed you away.”

  He looked at her, and Felicia’s mind blanked. He said nothing, though, a clear indication that he needed her to keep talking.

  “I should’ve called you on Sunday when I got your text. I shoul
d’ve told you how I was feeling, so you could help me see that it wasn’t true. The Sentinels aren’t dangerous. Just being here while you talk to all these people about books and all of your biker friends were here, giving up their Saturday for this…it’s incredible.”

  And the truth was, Felicia wanted to belong to something incredible. She never had before, and just being with Jordan would be something amazing.

  “So I’m sorry,” she said. “I just made a mistake.”

  “Your sister really doesn’t like me,” he said.

  “I don’t care about that.”

  “No?” He cocked his eyebrows at her. “You didn’t stand up for me once during Thanksgiving dinner.”

  Her heart wailed, because he made it sound like she’d betrayed him. In that moment, she realized that that was exactly how he felt. No wonder he’d broken up with her.

  “I didn’t realize,” she said. “But you’re right. I didn’t stand up for you, and I should have.”

  “That’s two mistakes,” he said, reaching out and taking her hand in his. Hope flared to life, but Felicia didn’t dare grab onto it too tightly.

  “Don’t I at least get three strikes?” she asked.

  Jordan rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, his eyes focused there. He finally looked at her, and every emotion in the book swam in his eyes.

  “I’m in love with you,” she blurted out. “And I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t live without you, and I just got scared. And then I acted stupid. Please, please forgive me.”

  “I do,” he said. He took her into his arms then and held her close.

  Felicia closed her eyes, instant relief and love filling her. “I’m sorry.”

  “I love you too,” he whispered, his lips touching her temple, her cheek. He steadily worked his way to her mouth, finally claiming it as his. And Felicia wanted to be his. She wanted him to be hers.

  Hearing that he loved her was unbelievable, and she broke the kiss. “You love me?”

  “Completely,” he said with a smile. “I know I’m not an easy man to be with, Felicia, especially for you.”

  “It’s always been you, Jordan.”

  That only made him smile wider, and he touched his forehead to hers. “We haven’t talked about marriage. I know Shelley is against it. How do you feel?”

  She swallowed, because nothing scared her as much as getting married. “I’ll…uh, I’m going to need some time with that one.”

  “I’ve got time,” he whispered, kissing her again.

  Felicia melted into his touch, glad she’d somehow found the bravery she needed to drive here and talk to him.

  Behind him, someone started clapping, then a few more. Jordan chuckled as he stepped back. He slipped his hand in hers and said, “You want to join me for the day? Free lunch and all that.”

  “Yes,” she said. “Absolutely.” He took her over to his friends, where she hugged Lucas and shook hands with a couple of other guys, one named Renegade and one named Wheels.

  “Do you read, sweetheart?” Jordan asked, and Felicia looked at him in surprise.

  “A little.”

  He handed her a cup of hot coffee. “Let’s go in the bookshop and see what they have. You want to?”

  She could not imagine this leather-clad, tattoo-covered man in a bookshop. She had to see it with her own two eyes, so she nodded. The five of them went inside, and it was complete mayhem, with almost twenty bikers and their book recipients crammed into the shop.

  To Felicia, it looked like heaven. She smiled, the tears pressing behind her eyes again. But this time, they were happy tears she swiped away before Jordan could see.

  “This is great,” she said. “It must be so much work.”

  “It is,” he said, tucking his hand in her back pocket as he surveyed the store too. “But it’s worth it.”

  Most hard things that took a lot of work were, and Felicia sighed as she tucked herself into his side.

  A couple of weeks later, Felicia had just put her purse in the bottom drawer of her desk when Pearl said her name.

  “Hey.” Felicia hugged her friend. “What brings you back to the dark warehouse?”

  “Christmas,” Pearl said. “What are you doing this year?”

  “We’re having a quiet dinner at Jordan’s,” she said. “Just me and him and Lucas.”

  Pearl’s smile filled the dark back room with light. “Could it still be a quiet dinner with two more?”

  “You and Jack?”

  Pearl nodded, something glinting in her eyes. She held out her left hand. “He asked me to marry him.”

  Felicia sucked in a breath and grabbed her friend’s hand. “Pearl Stockton,” she said, her voice filled with shock. “You’ve only been seeing him for four months.”

  “I know,” Pearl said. “But we love each other, and neither one of us is getting any younger.”

  In fact, Jack was eight years older than Pearl, who was a few years older than Felicia. She hugged her friend as they laughed, and then Felicia held her by the shoulders at arm’s length. “You don’t want to celebrate Christmas with your families?”

  “Jack’s parents are going to Florida to see his sister,” she said. “And I don’t have anyone here.”

  Felicia smiled at her. “You’ll always have me here, Pearl.”

  “Oh, I know that,” she said. “That’s why I’m standing right here, asking you if Jack and I can crash your Christmas dinner.”

  “Of course you can,” she said. “And Jordan keeps hinting that Lucas might bring someone too, and then we’ll be up to six people.” She laughed. “A regular party it will be.”

  Pearl admired her ring for a moment and said, “I can bring all the desserts.”

  “Deal,” Felicia said. “I’m doing most of the cooking. Jordan doesn’t do much more than pour cereal or heat up frozen pizza.”

  “It’s a good thing he has you,” Pearl said with a smile. “Well, I’m off, and I’m tired. So much holiday baking these days.” She yawned, and Felicia almost envied her. But she did not want a three a.m. start time, that was for sure.

  “Go take your nap,” she said, settling at her desk for her shift, which was just beginning. Pearl left, and Felicia took a moment to recognize how happy she was. Not just content. Not just a fleeting feeling of happiness over a situation.

  But she was truly happy with herself and her life. She shrugged out of her leather jacket and placed it around the back of her chair, a smile in her soul. Thank you, God, she thought, because while her life wasn’t perfect, it was good, and she was grateful for that.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Vice leaned forward as five motorcycles came into view on the monitor in front of him. “Same time as last week,” he said, and Electron looked up. They’d been monitoring the cameras Anderson Tanner had installed just over three weeks ago, making careful notes of how many Breathers came to Forbidden Lake on Wednesday nights, at what time, and where they went.

  “Five of them again,” Vice said.

  “On the east road?” Electron asked, picking up their logbook and putting it in front of him.

  “Yes,” Vice said. “It’s definitely Fire in the lead. I don’t know the others.” It helped that Fire never wore a helmet, and he had an armband that identified him as the VP of the club.

  The Breathers had never gone anywhere but the docks. They didn’t tow trailers on their bikes, and they didn’t seem to have much of anything in their saddlebags.

  “I’ve got the live feeds on the lake,” Electron said, and Vice moved his chair closer to his friend.

  “What are they doing?” he asked. “Do you think they’re just laying low because they suspect we’re watching them?”

  “I don’t know,” Electron said. They’d had this conversation many times, and the answer was always the same. I don’t know.

  Vice hated not knowing. Electron was the wrong guy to speculate with anyway, as he didn’t do a whole lot of that. He was a scientist, and he pref
erred to work with facts, not guesses.

  Vice just wanted to know what they heck five rival club members were doing in his town every Wednesday night.

  Twenty minutes later, Electron said, “They’re going the speed limit.”

  “Did they show up?” Vice had opted for a bag of his favorite cheddar and sour cream potato chips while he waited for the Breathers to make their way from the edge of town to the docks on Lake Michigan, north of Forbidden Lake.

  “Like clockwork,” Electron said. “But they’re not going around to the west this time. Going east…up by the cherry orchards.”

  “Mav will want to know that.”

  “That’s his wife’s family land up there.”

  “And her husband used to be the Hawks’ boat captain.” Vice put another chip in his mouth, but they didn’t taste nearly as good anymore. “I’m calling him.”

  They’d been monitoring the Devil’s Breath from the clubhouse every Wednesday, but Vice had told Maverick he’d report in during their regular church meetings, unless there was an emergency. Maverick was dealing with a lot of family stuff right now, and Vice wanted to be his strength when he needed it.

  Maverick answered on the first ring. “Talk to me.”

  “The Breathers are going to the same dock Karly’s husband used to hail from,” Vice said. “We’re not sure if this is significant or not. It’s the first time they’ve gone northeast instead of west.”

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  “Okay.”

  “Thanks, Vice.”

  The call ended, and Electron was already analyzing the recording. The monitor on the right continued to record, but he used the one on the left to manipulate the footage they already had, zooming in and trying to clarify some of the images.

  “That’s Five,” he said. “He comes every week too.” He looked down at their logbook. “I think he’s the road captain.”