by Jon Chaisson
*
There she is, Poe thought.
Kai watched him with interest as he held open the door to let Caren enter first. She smiled and waved, to the apparent consternation of Ashan. He looked over his shoulder at them and nodded, but his face was dark and sullen. They moved deeper into the booth, making room for them. By habit Caren took the seat closest to the front, which was next to Ashan, leaving Poe offering Kai a nervous hello as he sat down.
“Sorry we’re late,” Caren said, eyeing Poe. “It was a bit windy out there.”
He let Caren’s good-natured joke slide. “Again, we appreciate that you’ve taken the time to see us,” he said. “And we also appreciate the information you’ve given us so far. But I have quite a few more questions to ask…more personal in nature, shall we say. I’m hoping the two of you will be forthcoming.”
Caren caught the sarcasm in his voice and gave him a kick under the table.
He ignored her and continued. “We’ve pretty much exhausted our end of the investigation of Nehalé Usarai. We have everything — proof of his whereabouts, witnesses, motive…we even know he’s at Moulding Warehouse at this very moment. But we need to know why he did it, Ashan. Can you at least tell us that?”
Ashan stared at him, long and hard, and leaned over the table. “What are you accusing us of, Agent Poe?” he asked.
Poe had no intention of physically confronting someone who could easily harm him with just a thought, and leaned back slightly, opening his hands at him. “I do not accuse you of anything, although it may sound as such,” he said with equal calm. “I’m merely asking about Nehalé’s motives. We have thousands of Bridgetowners out there who were affected by the ritual, directly or indirectly, and the count is growing. Caren and I of course have theories, but come on — throw us a bone here.”
“It’s…hard to explain,” Ashan said.
Poe raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t coddle us, edha Shalei. It’s doing more harm than good, and it’s only serving to piss us off.”
The toe of Caren’s boot hit him squarely in the shin again. A short gasp of pain escaped his throat as she growled his name in shock. She grabbed at his hands. “What the hell are you doing?” she hissed.
“Getting answers,” he responded, and turned to the Mendaihu again. “Look, Ashan. I don’t know what else we need to do here. Indoctrinate us, take us Lightwalking, give us divine inspiration, whatever the hell you need to do. We might be ARU and we might have latent Mendaihu traits, but we need to understand what the hell is going on if we’re going to keep any of it under control.”
“We have,” Kai said timidly. “But I agree…it hasn’t been enough.”
“Akaina…” Ashan began, his voice just above a whisper.
“No, you said it yourself,” she said. “They deserve the truth.”
They gave each other a long blank stare and Poe could only guess that they were conversing in their heads at that point, which gave him time to calm down. Suddenly aware his fingers were now clutching the edge of the table, he let go and leaned back into his seat. He looked apologetically at Caren, but she refused to acknowledge him. He had a nagging urge to light up another cigarette, but fought it off. Instead he took out a pen from his inner coat pocket and began tapping the end of it into his palm in a slow even beat. Anything to take off the edge.
Eventually the two Mendaihu broke their silence. Ashan took a very slow breath and turned back to him. “Sa’im nyhnd’aladh, Agent Poe,” he said as evenly as he could. “I had the wrong impression of what you are trying to ask.”
Poe accepted his apology as an honest one. “I understand, Agent Shalei,” he said.
“This truth about the case is a hard one to bear,” Ashan continued. “We were concerned about your ability to grasp it.”
Grasp the truth? Poe thought, anger rising again like a rush of adrenaline surging up his spine. Does he think we’re idiots? “Ashan,” he said flatly. “If I can handle being inside the Light, certainly I can handle —”
“You are not yet aware of the changes,” he snarled. “Emha Caren here may be to some extent, but you are not.”
Poe slammed his fist on the table, startling everyone. “For Goddess’s sake, Ashan! Just come out and say what you need to tell us. I’m about done with your damned enlightenment bullshit, okay?”
Ashan did not speak. Instead he studied Poe at a distance, breathing slowly but audibly. Poe met the stare and refused to turn away. He hated being pitied like this, especially by a Mendaihu! He felt like grabbing the man by the collar and throwing him across the room…though what good would that do? He exhaled, frustrated with himself again. He’d let his emotions get the best of him once more today, damn it all! Time to calm down before it got out of hand. He quelled his anger by matching that of Ashan’s, until he finally looked away and let out a forced breath.
We have all been Awakened, Kai said from within. You have as well.
Poe shivered, the sound of her gentle voice carrying through his spirit. She had spoken within him, like she had done up at the Crest. He turned to face her. “What did you say?”
She laid a soothing hand on his forearm. You have Awakened, Alec. Though you do not yet understand.
“But —”
Shhh. Don’t be afraid. We trust each other. Have faith.
He did not feel the gentle, spiritual tug that Kai had given him at the Crest. Instead he felt his conscience sliding, his senses falling away then gathering together again, stronger and more refined. He wanted to speak and got as far as inhaling before he felt a twitch of his eyebrow and then a sickening lurch as his eyes rolled and his head fell forward.
Come, Kai said.
Then all was Light.
