by Jon Chaisson
*
Alec! Caren stared in shock at the limp form of her partner. His head hung low and off to his left, his jaw slightly open and his eyes twitching. Alec! Oh Goddess, Alec!
He’d gone Lightwalking again, but this couldn’t have been the same as last time. Lightwalkers disappear, they don’t go all catatonic. Kai had pulled him in again, before he could refuse. Shock was replaced by anger, her hands balling into fists and nails digging into her palms. Poe was right…they’d been deliberately left out of the most important part of this investigation. They neglected to confirm that she and her sister had been affected by the Awakening. They held back information that could have kept Sheila and Nick from danger at the church. And now Poe was off in some elsewhere, against his own power. If she was next in line, she would not go quietly.
Calm yourself, Ashan said from within.
Caren whirled at him, grabbed his collar. “What the hell did she just do to him, Ashan?” she growled. She added more pressure and pushed him up against the wall. She’d push him out the fucking window if it came to it.
“I said calm yourself!” he said, grabbing at her arm and pushing her back.
What the —
Instantly she felt a lurch. For a second she was off balance, a wave of vertigo shaking her insides and spinning her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and cursed. She pushed hard off him and slid back into her seat. The black anger was still there, but it had receded far into the background, just out of reach, leaving her with little emotion to show save a deep yet pointless irritation. Oh, damn it! Damn it all, he’d just crossed a personal line and she was powerless to fight it now. She opened her eyes again and glared at him.
“Don’t you ever soulheal me again without my permission, Ashyntoya Shalei,” she growled.
He did not offer an apology. She did not expect one, however, for he only looked at her with what had to be pity, which only irritated her more. It was a short look however, and he quickly turned to watch his sister across the table. Kai still had her hand on Poe’s limp arm, and she had leaned forward to touch her forehead against his temple. She breathed slowly and evenly, her eyes shut tight. Her other arm had gone behind his back; she had begun to pull him close to cradle him in her arms.
A strange wave of contentment washed over her, a reaction she knew she shouldn’t have had, so soon after her anger had receded. Yet for an instant, she understood: Kai had taken him, such as an angel might take the departed soul to a higher spiritual plane, into the Light for his own protection and ultimately all of theirs as well.
“He…” she started. Kai was right, he had been Awakened. And for some time now, though completely unaware of it, or refusing to believe it. His Spiritual Self had been brought forth from the human chains that had bound it for so long. His anger…his distance from her…his flashes of conflicting emotions…his —
Oh Goddess. She caught her breath, staring at him. Cho-nyhndah. After all these years, only now had she realized. How could she have not seen his dual spirit? How often had she mistaken his inner turmoil for a cantankerous personality? His anger had always been exacting, never misplaced, and his compassion was complete but always earned. He was, despite his outer shell, the most spiritually balanced person she’d ever known.
“He…” she started again.
It all makes so much sense!
“I…” she said, and wilted back into her seat. “Oh, Goddess…I had no idea, Ashyntoya…I really had no idea.” She felt her face burning at her partner being held so close, so lovingly, by Akaina. Her love radiated so strongly and purely that she could not help but be pulled in by it herself. It was so rare that she ever felt this happy for someone. She blinked and felt her own tears falling down her cheeks. Oh, how Alec so deserved this!
You are so close to him, Karinna, Ashan spoke within. You look past his Inner Self, past his dual spirit. That is why you did not see it at first. You care so deeply for him that the bond between you surpasses the ageless animosity between the Shenaihu and Mendaihu that exists to this day. You are his saving grace, Karinna.
“Oh, Alec…” She reached out a hand and touched his, curling her fingers around his and squeezing. “What —” Her voice faltered; she coughed and started again. “What’s happening to him?”
He’s past the pain now.
“You can speak freely,” she said. “I’d rather we did.”
Ashan complied. “Kai has taken him back in again. He’s on a delicate edge, one that becomes more obscure as the days go on. She is showing him his true Inner Self.” He looked across the table at the two of them, and his features softened at the sight. He was proud of his sister for being bold enough to take him there, to that otherness, to heal his spirit. The corners of his mouth eventually turned up in a quick smile as he turned back to Caren.
“She cares for him,” he said.
“I sense that,” she said with a grin. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and turned back to him. “So where is Nehalé Usarai, anyway?”
“Moulding Warehouse in the Waterfront District, as you surmised,” he said, and bowed his head. “We can head over there once we’re done here.”
She nodded, and squeezed Poe’s hand again. “Thank you,” she said.
Ashan tilted his head at her. “For what?”
“For protecting us. I understand now. As much…” she let out another shaky breath. “As much as I hate to admit it, I see we’re a part of this, more than just agents working a case. We’re a part of the Awakening, and whatever comes next. I haven’t quite figured out how or why, but I’ve sensed it for a while now, and I think Poe has too. It just took us awhile to come to terms with it. You two did double duty by making sure we weren’t lost in the process.”
Ashan smiled warmly. “It’s our Mendaihu nature, you know that. You’d do the same for your sister.”
She thought about that and laughed quietly. “Yes, I suppose I would.”
