Ear Candy

by Carter, M. E.

  “He—” I begin to say to Todd when he starts singing along with the contestant. The young man is phenomenal. His voice is strong, and his stage presence is unlike any of the others on this current episode. Todd on the other hand, leaves quite a bit to be desired.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, barely controlling the laughter begging to be released.

  “Singing.”

  “No. You’re trying to sing. But, why?”

  Huffing, he picks up the remote and mutes the television just as all four of the judges’ chairs spin. “Pause that, I like the battle for the contestant.” With a raised brow, Todd smirks and pauses the show before turning his attention back to me.

  “Why am I singing?” I nod. “I like to be prepared for anything.” Confused, I tilt my head as if doing so will help me understand what he’s talking about. “What if I decide to work with another author and it’s a rockstar romance? I need to be ready for anything.”

  This time I don’t hold back the laughter. A full belly laugh escapes me. Tears shortly follow, and I have to brace myself from falling off the couch and onto the plush carpeting. “You—” I shout, trying to stop the laughter. After a few seconds, I manage to pull myself together enough to look at Todd. He looks less amused, which only makes me laugh more.

  “You do know if you were to do a rockstar book, you wouldn’t actually sing, right?”

  “It’s called method acting.”

  The laughter picks up again and as I open my mouth to tease him more, the lights flicker.

  “Crap.”

  “Wha—” I begin as the room goes dark. The only light filling the room comes from the roaring fire.

  “Power’s out. I was afraid of that. They’ve been doing a little construction down the road.”

  The power is out? There’s no power? That means there’s no heat. No running water. My heart begins to race, and I jump from my spot on the couch. Turning to walk, I slam directly into the corner of the table and let out a yelp. Large hands grip my waist and steady me before I fall. Warm breath tickles my ear and I shiver. Not from the cold or from fear but from the way it feels on my skin. Warm. Hot. Sexy.

  No. No. No. Not sexy. Not hot. Not . . . well, it is warm but that’s neither here nor there.

  “Careful there,” Todd says. Scratch that, Hawk Weaver says.

  “I told you to put that away. No Hawk Weaver here.” Stepping out of his grip, I turn to face him, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “I didn’t . . . Oh, I guess I did. Sorry. It slipped. Turns out Hawk is really me when I’m trying to be helpful.”

  If only he could see me, he’d know I’m rolling my eyes at him.

  “It looks like it’s going to be an early night for us. I think we should probably get our beds set up and I’ll make sure the fire is going good.”

  “Beds?”

  “Yeah, there’s no power. We’re going to have to sleep out here. Might as well make ourselves comfortable in front of the fire. It’ll be like indoor camping.”

  I watch as Todd begins moving things around and walks toward a large built-in along the wall and pulls a few items from a drawer. I feel kind of stupid standing here doing nothing, I can’t see but a foot in front of me, despite the glow from the fire. Todd, however, seems to be part bat and able to see in the dark.

  “Are you Batman?” I ask with a snigger.

  “What?”

  “You can see in the dark. Like a bat.”

  “Nope. All man.”

  I’m beginning to agree with that assessment. “How do you know where everything is?” I ask as he turns on a large lantern shaped flashlight. Walking toward me, he smiles and hands me the lantern.

  “Because I own it.”

  “You own this lantern?”

  Laughing he shakes his head. “The cabin. It’s mine.”

  My eyes go wide, and I suck in air. “Why do you look surprised?”

  “Because your car is broken down on the driveway.”

  “So?”

  “So you have a broken-down car and also the most beautiful house in the woods I’ve ever seen. That makes no sense.”

  “Donna.” The way he says my name, it’s not quite patronizing but it is a little disappointed, maybe? “The car gets me from point A to point B. Real estate is an investment. Ask Dave Ramsey.”

  He owns this place? The chalet? A man who wears leprechauns and pineapples on his shirts and sings horribly off key as a form of method acting. He owns a home that is probably worth more than my net worth for the last three years combined.

  “I’m going need something stronger than wine tonight,” I mumble as I take the lantern and walk to the wet bar in the corner and pour myself two fingers of whiskey, taking a tentative sip.

  “Don’t drink too much. We need to make our bed.”

  “Our what?”

  “No power. We need to make a bed here on the floor and sleep in front of the fire to stay warm. I thought we established this already.”

  My eyes widen at his words and I toss back the rest of the whiskey. Make a bed. Together? “One bed?” I croak out.

  “Body heat is the only way to stay warm. Check the survival guide on the coffee table. But first, chop, chop.” He actually claps his hands at me to get moving. “It’s going to be a long night.”

  He can say that again.

  Chapter 12

  Todd

  I wake up to bright light shining in my face. The best part of this place is wall-to-wall windows when you want to see the view.

  The worst part of this place is wall-to-wall windows when you want to sleep in the living room.

  Plus, the sunshine is making me very hot. And heavy. Like if I rolled over, I’d be rolling on a body.

  No . . . wait . . . that’s actually a body. Why the hell is there a body in bed with me and why is the person attached to it trying to strangle me?

  My hand whips up to my neck to frantically remove the tiny bits of thread that are being used to cut off my air supply sending me to a slow and painful death. Am I the male version of the woman with the green ribbon around her neck now? Will my head fall off if I yank too hard? . . . wait. Nope. That’s not thread. That’s hair.

  Donna’s hair, to be exact. It’s soft and silky and smells like hydrangeas and that thought is way too serial killer creepy even for me. I quickly toss her hair back over to her side of the pallet we made on the floor, more awake now that I’ve had to fight to stay alive.

  I knew telling ghost stories last night was a bad idea. It’s not the nightmares that get me. It’s those few seconds the next morning when I’m not quite awake that always freak me out.

  Donna begins to stir, probably from the hair that just landed on her face, so I freeze, not sure how all of this is going to play out. A million possibilities ranging from her accusing me of trying to accost her to her realizing her undying love and devotion for me. I need to be prepared for anything. The arm draped across my mid-section jerks, and I suck in a breath, waiting for her next move.

  I watch as she pushes up on her elbows and moves those killer hairs off her face. She looks disheveled and confused. Beautiful. She’s breathtaking in the morning light.

  Seriously. I have to stop reading Aggi’s books if I want to keep my balls.

  Taking a deep breath and sighing it out, Donna looks over at me, her eyes narrowed with sleep and her brow furrowed. “What happened?”

  “Power went out. We made a pallet on the floor.”

  “I know that part. How did you end up on my side?”

  Looking down at the make-shift bed, I scoff. “I am clearly on my side of the bed. Which means you ended up next to me.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I highly doubt that.” Ouch. “I don’t usually move when I sleep.” Less ouch.

  “Well, you don’t usually sleep next to me. It’s okay though. I understand,” I continue, trying to lighten the awkward mood. “I probably started talking in my sleep. I’d snuggle up next to Hawk Weaver under those circum
stances too.”

  Donna drops her face into her pillow, shoulders shaking as she laughs. When she finally comes up for air, she pushes off the cushions to stand up. No sooner does she rise from the floor, than the room fills with a shrieking teenage mother and small child through the speakers of the television. She startles, looks from me to the television before she says, “Okay, on that note, I’m going to spend my first official day of vacation taking a much-needed bubble bath.”

  I reach for the remote control on the table and flip off the television. “You’ve scoped out the tub in the master, I see.”

  “I’ve been dreaming about it all night.”

  She’s been dreaming about the tub but snuggling next to Hawk Weaver? Hawk should be offended. But he’s not and neither am I.

  “There are a couple of bath explosions or whatever under the sink, and I think you’ll find the towels to your liking.”

  She stops and cocks one eyebrow at me. “Explosions? You mean bath bombs?” I shrug and nod, explosions or bombs. Whatever they are, they look like Easter threw up in the form of balls. “Please tell me they’re the biggest, fluffiest towels you could find.”

  “Even bigger and fluffier. I had them imported from a famous spa in the Swiss Alps.”

  “Really?” Her eyes are wide as saucers.

  “No.”

  She shakes her head and turns to walk away. “I’ll be sure to let management know if they’re not up to my standards, then.”

  I chuckle at her quip and lie back, dropping my arm over my eyes to block out the sun while my body continues waking up. If I had been told a week ago I was going to spend the night with Donna Moreno snuggled up against me, I would have completely agreed out loud, while thinking that was a crazy notion in my head.

  Yet here I am, with intimate knowledge of what a hot mess she is first thing in the morning. The best part—she’s not the slightest bit embarrassed about it. She never freaked out about morning breath or raccoon eyes or the rat’s nest on her head. She just rolled over and started bantering with me.

  I like that kind of confidence in a woman. Too bad she didn’t realize it was me she was curled up against until it was over.

  Oh well. No time to wallow, I think as I push myself up to the standing position. It’s . . . fuck, seven in the morning?

  I groan and rub my hand down my face. Stupid wall of windows. I could have slept for another two hours. Instead, I make my way to one of the other two bathrooms in the house and break open a new toothbrush before climbing into the shower. Although I don’t live here full-time, I do spend some time in this place, so I keep a few items stored in the owner’s locked closet for times like this.

  Once I’ve slipped on my favorite Christmas balls shirt, I take a moment to admire the greatness. Balls. It’s a shirt covered in balls and my favorite for the obvious reason of the male genitalia jokes I get to tell at the expense of other people’s discomfort. I head back out to the living room for a quick check of my voice mail then begin cleaning up.

  Two of the blankets are folded and all four pillows are stripped, because nothing says slumber party better than a soft place to lay your head, when my phone alerts Aggi is calling me.

  I freeze like a deer caught in the headlights. She can’t know I’m here. There is literally nothing happening, but I feel like last night was something Donna and I want to keep to ourselves. Not because it’s a secret but because . . . well, I don’t know. I also don’t know why I’m standing like a stone statue, Aggi can’t see me through the phone. Yet, here I stand, like an idiot, in the living room.

  Rolling my eyes at my own reaction I grab the phone and swipe before it goes to voicemail. “Yelllo.”

  “How did it go.”

  “What? No hello, Todd? No how are you doing, Todd?”

  “Hello, Todd. How are you doing, Todd,” she deadpans. Doesn’t even bother with inflection. It appears that every woman in my life is trying to push my buttons these days. Joke’s on them, I’m not easily pushed, well at least my buttons aren’t.

  “I’m great, thanks. How’s Spencer? Getting sympathy from all the ladies, I’m sure.”

  She lets out a snort laugh. “He would be if he wasn’t such a big baby. If this is what having a toddler is like, I’m not sure I ever want kids.” I shudder at the thought of either of us having kids. We’re the most irresponsible people I know. Sometimes I wonder how we’ve survived this long, and lord knows it’s a miracle our mothers kept us alive to adulthood. “The doctor is still undecided about surgery. Wants to wait another week to do an additional scan and see how it’s healing.”

  “Lucky bastard.”

  “For being injured?”

  “No for having surgery. You know hospital pudding is my favorite.”

  “I’ll be sure to swipe you some and bring it back with me.”

  Picking up the last blanket off the floor, I toss it over the back of the couch. “Which won’t be for a while, will it?”

  She sighs a heavy sigh. “No. Probably not. I was trying to crank out this book so I could get here for some R&R but it looks like I’m going to have to work in L.A. for a while.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “It just messes with my flow, is all. You know I like to get out and write in public. It seems to keep me on track better. But if I’m playing nursemaid I can’t exactly go anywhere.”

  “Just hop him up on those painkillers when you need to leave. He’ll never know you’re gone.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Anyway . . .”

  My guard immediately goes up. She’s about to ask me about Donna, I just know it. I have to be very careful how I answer. Aggi has always been able to sense panic in my voice.

  “Were you able to let Donna in the cabin? She’s not mad, is she?”

  Focus, Todd. Stay calm.

  “Everything is good to go. I got some supplies and settled her in. So she’s settled in. All settled. Yep. Settled. In.”

  “Todd . . .”

  I grimace. Here we go.

  “Why do you sound nervous?”

  Think faster, Todd!

  “I’m ad libbing. Practicing for sounding hysterical and manly at the same time in case you ever decide to write a murder mystery.”

  Eh. Not my best work, but it’ll have to do.

  “That’s . . . weird. But not terribly surprising coming from you. Speaking of narrating, though, I’ve been listening to the sample you sent over of the next book. Why do I hear sneezing in the background?”

  Sneezing?

  “Fucking Bill. I told him he needed antibiotics for that sinus infection.” And thank you Bill for giving me a topic change I can work with.

  Aggi laughs brightly, clearly already forgetting the nerves in my voice. Now if only Donna will stay in the bath for a little longer . . . and I have to stop thinking about Donna in the bath. I can’t play that off. Hawk Weaver is very, very bad at keeping the sexy out of his voice.

  “Poor Bill,” Aggi says sympathetically. “He’s been dealt a rough hand.”

  “Yeah well, that hand better stay on the other side of his apartment when I start narrating the final version,” I mutter, making a mental note to have a little chat with my building manager. And the construction foreman. Maybe they can do something about the noise between levels. It’ll need to be addressed before resale anyway.

  Aggi babbles on for a little longer about the warmth of L.A. and her latest book. It doesn’t take long, though, to hear Spencer complaining in the background. She’s right; he does sound like a toddler.

  “I gotta go, Todd,” she says hurriedly. “If I don’t get these pain meds in him soon, it’s going to get drastically more annoying in the next ten minutes.”

  “At least you’ll be able to write sometime in the next half hour once he passes out.”

  “Or I’ll be fighting off him being handsy. The meds seem to make him horny.”

  “Ah!” I yell and throw my finger into the ear not attached to
my phone. “I don’t need to know this shit! You know what? I think the connection is getting bad. Wheeeeeee . . .” I do my best impression of wind in a tunnel. “Yep. Hear that? Definitely a bad connection.”

  “Todd—”

  “Nope. Wheeeeeeee . . .”

  “Todd!”

  “Gotta go before we lose service. Wheeeee . . .” Quickly I hang up the phone and throw it onto the couch, as if getting it far from me will scrub the visual images of horny Spencer out of my mind.

  “Was that Aggi on the phone?”

  I look up and Donna momentarily stuns me. Her hair is in a braid over one shoulder and she’s wearing jeans and an oversized cable knit sweater, which is shrugged down over one shoulder. With the early morning lighting, she looks angelic.

  That’s another point in favor of the giant wall of windows and another point against reading romance books.

  Shaking off my daze, I let out a long exhale. Apparently, I was holding a breath. Huh. That’s new.

  “Uh, yeah. She was just checking on you. Making sure I didn’t forget to let you in or something and you ended up spending the night on the porch.”

  She smiles, and I’m taken aback again. What is going on here? Do these windows have magical powers?

  “Did you tell her you spent the night?”

  Magic is over. Clearly Donna has lost her mind. “Hell no. If she knew I was still here because I forgot to turn the light off in my car, I’d never hear the end of it.”

  Donna smiles and drops down on the couch, her legs bent underneath her. “I’m sorry you’re still stuck. If I had a car, I’d drive you to work.”

  Finishing folding the blankets, I wave her off. “Oh I’m not stuck. Old Man Davies left me a message before we woke up. He was here three hours ago.”

  “Wait.” She glances at the clock. “He jumped your car at five in the morning?”

  I shrug. “He’s old. Has been getting up that early since I’ve known him. Probably why he has dinner at four in the afternoon.”

  “Huh. Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but if your car is working why are you still here?”

  “It’s my house.”

  She rolls her eyes playfully. “I know that. Don’t you have a job to get to?”