Ear Candy
Page 20
Taking in his words, my instinct is to say I can’t. My life is in Phoenix. Then I realize I can go with Todd. I have the luxury of working anywhere with electricity and Wi-Fi. A million things that need to be done run through my mind, and when I open my mouth to speak, Todd stops playing with my hair and tugs me toward him, placing a kiss to my temple.
“Stop thinking so hard, babe. We’ll head back to Phoenix, tie up a few loose ends if you need to, grab Mr. Tuddles, and head back to the cabin for a few weeks. Or months. Summers in Idaho are beautiful, you may never want to leave.”
“You included Mr. Tuddles,” I whisper.
“I did. He’s my homie, I’m all about rollin’ with the homies. Plus he’s not a bad staring contest competitor, and it’s always good to have a practice partner.”
Snorting, I say, “I love you.”
Instead of responding, Todd pecks my lips once then twice as we ignore Aggi’s claps as she whispers, “She loves him. Babe, they’re in love”. Then I say, “Summer is fine, but we are back in Phoenix by the first snowfall. I’m not freezing my ass off all winter.”
Startling me, Todd’s arm shoots up in a weird fist pump as he shouts, “Yes! I’ve always wanted to be a snowbird.”
I’ve spent years trying to find the type of man I thought would bring balance and stability to my life. A man who was successful and handsome with ambition and a strong work ethic. I wrongly assumed that the man I envisioned for myself wore an expensive suit, drove an expensive car, and worked in a high-rise.
When I least expected it, and when I stopped looking, the universe brought a man who was all of that and more. Todd Chimolski was nothing I knew I needed but everything I always wanted.
Epilogue
Todd
Nine months later . . .
“It is my pleasure to declare this business open for operation!”
The county clerk takes a giant pair of tacky scissors and cuts the giant tacky ribbon while a handful of local community members clap, and a lone newspaper reporter snaps a picture. I didn’t realize there was a such thing as print newspaper anymore, but I was informed of my mistake when they called about today’s event and I inappropriately inquired as to what website I could expect to see my name on.
I’m pretty sure an article about my new business is going to end up online anyway, but I don’t mind buying a few copies of the Phoenix Sunshine Reporter. It may be a tiny operation that only covers local business events, but my mother can always use some more paper for the scrapbook about me she pretends not to be making.
As the clapping dies down, I look around for Donna, who has somehow disappeared in this very tiny crowd. Not that I expected a whole bunch of people or anything. Hell, I didn’t even want to show up today. When Chimolski Realty started coming together, the ribbon cutting wasn’t my idea. My silent business partner, Domingo, is not as silent as I originally anticipated and called the chamber of commerce to get the whole thing set up. It’s been boring as hell and hotter than Hades standing on the sidewalk, but I’m always up for free advertising.
Plus, one of the community members insisted on having a reception after the ribbon cutting and brought homemade deviled eggs. Totally worth it.
Looking around, I still can’t seem to find my girlfriend anywhere, but I’m sure she’s around. She always is.
After she finally pulled her head out of her beautiful, taut, hard-as-a-rock ass, we spent the summer in Idaho—in the cabin, not the apartment building. Bill was a fine and worthy building mate for that time in my life. But I needed to move on with Donna, to a place where the insulation was better. Bill whistled sadly when I told him the news, but I assured him he would always be my building manager, no matter what the next flip project was. That made him whistle in delight.
Donna spent the summer prepping for her sweet romance book to be released. Being in my hometown gave her inspiration on different marketing ideas and she was even able to elicit Aggi’s help. The two of them spent hours talking plot lines and characters. It got so monotonous I threatened to never narrate for either of them again. Did that make them change their ways? No. No it did not. Instead, they forced me to drive as they cruised around town, taking pictures for graphics. Well, Aggi took the pictures and Donna made the graphics. I think they both got a kick out of seeing a different side of their creativity.
As expected, some of Donna’s fans were a little shell-shocked that she would ditch her tried-and-true hard-core erotic stories for something she called “fade to gray” whatever that means. She swears it has nothing to do with that book with a tie on the cover, but I’m still not sold. In true Donna fashion though, any time she was asked about the switch, she responded with “I’m not only one type of writer. There are a lot of layers to me. I just peeled some of them back so I could enjoy another kind of writing. Not everyone is going to like it. That’s okay because I did.”
Wonder who she got those wise words from? I should at least get a footnote or something.
Regardless, enough of her fans stuck with her and she picked up a new audience. So much so that she ended up hitting some sort of list for the first time. We celebrated the best way imaginable—in bed, naked, and with our mouths. At the same time. Fancy celebratory dinners are overrated anyway.
The next day, we went back to work. Donna started on a new story inspired by the mountains, and I continued finding solid agents to join my team and locating the perfect office space.
And as soon as the temps dropped into the twenties, we did exactly as promised and became snowbirds. Minus the RV and matching jogging suits.
We’ve been in Phoenix for five months now, getting my new business up and running and getting Donna back in “alpha billionaire mode.” I keep asking if that means she’s granting me some backdoor access soon. She simply laughs and tells me I’m so funny. Clearly sweet-romance Donna needs to take a hike for a while.
Now, as the sweat begins to slide down my crack, I realize we need to head back to my hometown and soon.
Giving up on looking for her, because clearly my eyesight is failing me, I bite my bottom lip, squeeze my lips together, and blow, letting out a shrill whistle asking where she’s at.
Several people around me duck at the sound, which I don’t understand. That didn’t remotely sound like a car backfiring so what are they ducking from? Bird poop? A rogue pecking? People be crazy.
A quieter whistle calls back to me, and I ignore the odd stares and turn to walk through the open door where I find my girlfriend busy organizing the food platters. And she’s standing in front of the deviled eggs, not allowing anyone else to see them except me. She knows me well.
“Sorry,” she says, moving out of the way, allowing me to grab a delicious protein treat from the tray. “I was starting to get sweaty out there, so I decided to make myself useful inside instead.”
“Tell me about it. I would highly recommend not licking my balls until I’ve showered tonight.”
Her jaw drops, although I’m not sure why she’s surprised by anything I say anymore, and she quickly looks around to see if anyone overheard me. This is yet another reason why it’s good to speak bird. No one else knows what we’re saying which more than makes up for people thinking we’ve lost our marbles.
“Todd! Don’t say stuff like that in public.”
“Why not?” I ask, grabbing another deviled egg. I need this recipe. These are amazing.
“You are surrounded by pillars of the community—”
“It’s the county clerk, Donna.”
“Only because the mayor couldn’t come. You don’t want to ruin your reputation before they have a chance to see what you and your team can do.”
I eye her skeptically, taking another bite. Is that a bit of dill I taste? The zing is perfection. “It’s your fault I’m already making bedroom plans,” I accuse.
She crosses her arms, which pushes her boobs up—because that’s gonna help my dirty thoughts—and scowls at me. “Oh I’ve got to hear this. Why is it
my fault you’re a perv?”
“Easy.” I shrug. “You wore my favorite skirt and all I can think about is unzipping the back and peeling it off you.”
She purses her lips, but I’m not fooled. She knows how much I love that outfit.
“Fine,” she caves. “You win. But please try to only think dirty thoughts. No saying them out loud.” I scowl at her. “Except in the bedroom,” she clarifies.
“Can I whistle them?”
“Only if Bill can’t hear you.”
“Deal.”
Coming closer, she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses the left-over creamy filling right off my lips before giving me a peck. Now I’m rock hard and have to think about Mr. Tuddles challenging me to a stare-off to get it under control. Seriously. I know she does this shit on purpose.
“I’m really proud of you, you know?”
Smiling down at her, I respond with, “I’m really proud of me too.” Donna bursts out laughing, which makes me smile. There’s nothing I love more than making her happy. “I know that sounds weird, but I think the new office turned out great. For a while I really wasn’t sure it was going to come together, so yeah. Yeah, I’m kind of proud of myself.”
She smiles brightly and pecks me quickly again. “So what’s next? Another apartment building to flip? Another book to narrate? The world is your oyster, Todd Chimolski. What do you want to do?”
“No idea. Well, one idea.”
She looks at me quizzically.
“We need to pack our shit and get back to Idaho before I melt into a tiny Todd-shaped puddle.”
She laughs and nods. “Agreed. And I have another story idea rolling around in my brain about a woman who meets her soul mate while staying in a cabin in the woods. I need some inspiration. Know any good narrators who might be interested in voicing the final product for me?”
“I think I know just the guy.”
She pulls away and winks at me over her shoulder as someone walks in and my dream girl morphs into the perfect hostess. Man, I love that woman. I give her good ear candy, but she gives me good everything else.
Even Hawk Weaver would love how this romance turned out.
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Acknowledgements
Erin Mallon – You are our favorite “ear candy” because you were so sweet to make yourself available to answer any question we had and give us guidance in the world of narration. Any mistakes are because we are forgetful and not because you didn’t tell us. And since you’re here, an extra special thank you from M.E. for providing a voice to her books, you are an absolute joy!
Karen L. – Thank you for buffing up Todd and Donna and making them shine. Oh and for making us feel like we’re kind of funny.
Alyssa G. – How you were able to take “We have no real idea what we want” and turn it into this beautiful cover is beyond either of our comprehension. No really, we have no clue how you did it, but it’s perfection. Thank you! OH! And can we talk about that logo? Home. Run.
Megan – You really are the very best thing to happen to both of us. We love you so much for all you do to keep us sane and organized. By organized, we mean telling us where to be and what to do. You are a gem.
Marisol – Why do you know so much? Seriously. You are the “phone a friend” contact if either of us ever make it on a game show. By the way --- get your ass to work.
Kristina B. – Thank you for joining our team and helping us make this story even better.
M.E.’s mom – Or, should we call you “Eagle Eyes”? If that therapist gig doesn’t work out, you should start a proofreading business. Todd just whistled he loves you.
Carter’s Cheerleaders and Andrea’s Sassy Romantics – There are no words to fully express our gratitude for your support of each of us and Charitable Endeavors. You are our biggest cheerleaders, even if you all are a little bit sassy. What’s that? Oh yeah, Donna just whistled she loves you too!
About the Authors
M.E. Carter and Andrea Johnston are romance writers who share a love of the written word. Combining their sense of humor, beliefs in love, and sarcasm, this writing duo has joined forces to create the Charitable Endeavors series. With the sole purpose of bringing laughter and love to their readers while tapping into their charitable hearts, a portion of the release proceeds will be donated to charity.
Other books by Andrea Johnston
Country Road Series
Whiskey & Honey
Tequila & Tailgates
Martinis & Moonlight
Champagne & Forever
Bourbon & Bonfires
Standalones
Life Rewritten
The Break Series
I Don’t: A Romantic Comedy
Small-Town Heart
Charitable Endeavors
(Collaborations with M.E. Carter)
Switch Stance
Ear Candy
Other books by M.E. Carter
Hart Series
Change of Heart
Hart to Heart
Matters of the Hart
Texas Mutiny Series
Juked
Groupie
Goalie
Megged
Deflected
#MyNewLife Series
Getting a Grip
Balance Check
Pride & Joie
Amazing Grayson
Charitable Endeavors
(Collaborations with Andrea Johnston)
Switch Stance
Ear Candy