by Shayla Black
After a final bittersweet moment, Heavenly stepped back with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She was too choked up to say anything, so she headed for the parking lot. She didn’t let herself look back as she withdrew Raine’s fob, climbed into the woman’s red Audi, and left to begin the life her father had always meant her to live.
As Beck half listened to Litchfield drone on about a promising new Alzheimer’s drug, he glanced around the room in search of Heavenly. Worry niggled at him.
He didn’t see her anywhere.
“Excuse me, Brad.” Beck didn’t wait for the other doctor’s reply, simply bolted toward Seth, who had just ended a brief exchange with Nurse Lewis. “Where’s Heavenly?”
“She’s not back yet?” Seth scanned the room with a frown.
“From where?”
“I unlocked the car so she could store her dad’s ashes. That was maybe…five minutes ago.”
“Did you see her come back in?”
Seth’s frown deepened. “No.”
Hoping like hell their girl wasn’t sobbing alone in the car, he and the PI hustled outside. There was no one in the parking lot. A glance through the windshield revealed the vehicle was empty. It sat unlocked without a trace of Abel’s photo or urn inside.
Beck peered up and down the sidewalk, panic biting into his belly.
“Let’s think this through.” Seth sounded like he was trying not to lose his shit. “Maybe she stopped in the ladies’ room.”
“Maybe.” But apprehension prickled the hairs on the back of Beck’s neck.
Though Heavenly internalized her emotions because she never wanted to burden anyone with her problems, he couldn’t picture her hiding in a stall to grieve at her own father’s funeral. But where else would she be?
Together, they rushed inside once more and homed in on Raine, who stood looking visibly pensive between Hammer and Liam.
“We can’t find Heavenly,” Beck muttered in low tones. “Can you check the ladies’ room?”
Raine pressed her lips together, apology written all over her face. “She’s not in the bathroom.”
The bottom fell out of Beck’s gut.
“Where is she?” Seth demanded, not caring how damn loudly he asked.
Everyone in the chapel turned their way.
“Don’t freak,” Raine began softly. “She left to spread her dad’s ashes…and figure out a few things.”
Heavenly had left? Without a word? “In Wisconsin? We could have done that with her.”
“Hell, we could have done that for her.” Seth gnashed his teeth together.
“Guys, you can’t. Heavenly needs to do this alone. Yesterday, it was obvious she needed time alone to decide what’s next. So I helped her.”
His heart rate tripled. What’s next? What the fuck did that mean?
But he feared he already knew.
“Are you shitting me?” Seth growled.
“She has to process everything that’s happened. A road trip to Wisconsin will give her time to do that.”
“She not traveling across the country alone,” Seth snarled. “Do you know what horrific things could happen?”
Of course Raine knew the dangers that could befall a woman. Hell, she’d been forced to kill her own father to stay alive. But had she stopped to think about the ramifications of sending Heavenly off without any means of protecting herself?
“Gas stations, rest areas, motels—all havens for predators.” Seth continued the litany. “And don’t get me started on what happens if the car breaks down on the side of the goddamn road.”
Raine’s expression softened. “If she does, she’ll call me. But Heavenly will be fine. She has a plan. She’s promised to check in with me every day. And when I hear from her, I’ll let you know how she’s doing.”
“Son of a bitch,” Beck growled. “She left without a cent in her wallet and—”
“No,” Raine assured. “I made sure she had clothes, cash, and a burner phone. She’s in my car. It’s got a full tank, a fresh oil change, and new tires.”
Beck raked a hand through his hair. Heavenly hadn’t merely left the funeral at the spur of the moment because she’d been overwhelmed and needed a few hours to herself. Her departure had been fucking premeditated.
“Lovely, you should have talked to one of us first,” Liam scolded.
“Yeah. Remember the vow we made, Raine?” Hammer shot her a disapproving scowl. “No secrets.”
“Macen, it wasn’t my secret to tell. If I’d said anything, what’s the first thing you would have done?”
“Picked up the phone and called me like a good friend should,” Beck snarled.
“And you would never have let her go,” Raine pointed out.
“You’re damned right.”
“You two have to stop smothering her.”
They’d only meant to help and protect her, damn it.
Beck was almost afraid to ask his next question. “Is she coming back?”
Raine bowed her head. “I don’t think she knows.”
“Are you fucking—” Seth bit back his accusation. “She just left and you can’t tell us if she ever plans on returning?”
“No. Right now, she’s simply saying goodbye to her dad and thinking about where she ultimately belongs. If she has a little time alone and the chance to miss you, I genuinely believe she’ll come back and want more than anything to spend her life with you.”
“Is that what your crystal ball says?” Beck scowled with clenched teeth.
Raine’s face softened. “She loves you both. She may not have said that out loud, but I’m sure of it. Just give her time.”
It infuriated Beck that she hadn’t left them a choice.
He’d tasted the sadness in Heavenly’s last, lingering kiss. He’d written it off to grief, but she’d known full well she was saying goodbye—maybe forever. Worse, she’d left thinking he was a douche who had cheated on his wife, so the chances she would actually return were close to nil.
Beck wanted to fucking punch someone. “I know you’re owned and pregnant, princess, but if I had that rubber paddle right now, neither of those facts would stop me.”
Liam wrapped a protective arm around Raine’s waist while Hammer stepped in front of her, eyes narrowed. “But she is owned and she is pregnant, so you will never touch her again.”
Raine wriggled from Liam’s grasp. “Stop acting like cavemen, all of you. You should be helping and supporting one another. That’s all I did for Heavenly.”
Her words turned Beck’s fury down a notch, but it didn’t erase the fact that Raine hadn’t given him or Seth any way to talk Heavenly out of leaving.
Seth yanked out his phone and tapped at the screen. “Let’s stop talking and start driving. She’s only a few minutes ahead of us. We might be able to catch her before she gets too far. What kind of car is she driving?”
“A red Audi Q5.” Hammer supplied the license plate number.
“Don’t do this, guys,” Raine implored.
Liam nodded. “I think you should listen to my lovely.”
“Fuck that,” Seth snapped.
Raine turned to him, hands on her hips. “What do you think happens if you track her down and haul her back? She’ll likely tell you both to pound sand and shut you out even more. Is that really what you want?”
“We want her safe,” Seth bit out.
Beck nodded. “And to make sure she knows she’s loved.”
“I get it,” Raine said. “I really do. But she’s a grown woman who’s never even had a single day to herself. She’s taken care of her dad since she was a child. If you force her back, the guilt might compel her into putting your feelings above her own. Do you think she’ll be happy living like that? I know you’re worried, but she’s capable of taking care of herself.”
Beck scrubbed a hand down his face. As much as he hated every word Raine said, he couldn’t refute it. “Why wouldn’t she let us at least buy her a goddamn plane ticket instead of taking off across the country
alone?”
“I actually offered to pay for her flight. But Heavenly said that she and her dad drove out from Wisconsin together. She felt that’s how they should go home together, too.”
“This trip alone might be the only way Heavenly heals enough to allow you two into her heart for good.” Grim understanding lined Liam’s face.
“Is that the spooky shit you inherited from your mom talking?” Seth grumbled.
Liam shrugged. “Either way, it’s time you listened. Hammer and I offered to teach you how to drive the bus, but neither of you is in any shape for us to hand over the wheel, mate.”
Beck snarled. “You can take your bus and shove it—”
“Stop being ridiculous,” Raine huffed. “She’ll call me if she runs into troub—”
“What good will that do?” Seth demanded. “It’s not like you can help her from LA. We should be with her.”
“I know you love her. I know the sacrifices you’ve made to be with her. But just because you’re ready for commitment doesn’t mean she is, especially right now. For the first time in years, her life doesn’t revolve around taking care of a dying man, so she has to search her soul and figure out what she wants. And nothing you or I or anyone else says is going to make her rush that.”
“Christ,” Seth spat.
Beck cursed. Raine understood their girl better than he and Seth. They’d both had the luxury of their rebellious teens and stupid twenties. Heavenly hadn’t. How could they ask her to spend her life with them now?
He wished the voice of reason in his head would shut the fuck up.
“Let’s go.” Beck didn’t know where since they weren’t going after her. But he scowled, stepped around Raine, and hauled his ass toward the door.
Heavenly’s soul felt as barren as the desert she’d driven through. Now with Barstow in her rearview mirror for nearly two hours, she fought Vegas traffic north on I-15.
Loneliness crushed her.
Until now, she’d always had her father. He hadn’t been able to help her physically, but he’d always listened and offered sage advice. Today, she carried his ashes and heard only silence.
The crushing reality of his passing kept pelting her. She’d never talk to her dad again, never hear his familiar laugh, never hear him call her “boo” with that scratch of affection in his voice. She’d never know the comfort of having him a few feet away while she slept. Worst of all, she’d never hear him say I love you again. Of course, she tried to tell herself that he was in a better place without pain…but her selfish heart wept tears that mirrored the ones spilling down her cheeks.
As if that wasn’t enough, with every passing mile, the terrible, empty ache for Beck and Seth tormented her, too. She’d resisted a thousand urges to turn Raine’s car around, fling herself into their arms, and pledge them her future. Instead, she was voluntarily walking away.
Why? She was virtually alone in the world, and people searched for love their whole lives.
But she’d memorized the litany of reasons, and most of them were in the urn beside her.
Even if she broke her promises to Dad, was she capable of keeping Beck and Seth happy forever? They were worldly, well-rounded, experienced. What did a shy little Wisconsin farm girl really have to offer them?
Blinking away tears that threatened to blur the highway, she flipped on the radio. A deejay’s humor fell flat before he blessedly shut up. Rihanna crooned over the stereo next, accompanied by a hauntingly stripped-down melody, as she begged her lover to stay.
Heavenly’s resolve cracked. More tears poured down her cheeks.
She’d known today would be hard. She had expected the sorrow. She hadn’t expected her heart to be screaming that she was making a horrible mistake.
The navigation system on the SUV said she had a handful of minutes before she reached her destination. Though she kept wiping her eyes, it was a miracle when she found her exit. Thankfully, the sad ballad ended as she pulled off the highway and headed into the heart of the city. She’d find her motel soon. But first, she had a stop to make.
The deejay spouted more meaningless chatter before spinning another forlorn tune that began with despondent strokes of the piano. A man implored his lover to say something because he was giving up.
Just like Beck and Seth would. Maybe they already had. They must know she’d left by now. After the drama she’d already dragged them through, she wouldn’t blame them for deciding she was more trouble than she was worth. Of course they’d move on.
She never would. They were it for her, and leaving them was killing her. Her only consolation was that her departure was likely to hurt her far more than it could ever hurt them.
Heavenly clutched the wheel. Her anguished sob nearly made her miss the GPS telling her to make a right.
Jerking the car, she managed the last-minute turn. The rest of the drive passed in a blur until she reached a residential community. It was expansive and upscale. The well-manicured lawns were a mixture of grass and desert landscape. The houses were stucco, accented by brick and stone. And they were huge.
The automated voice told her to stop in front of a beautiful home with a Spanish tile roof and an ornate double front door. She was nervous as hell.
Gathering her courage, Heavenly checked herself in the rearview mirror, reapplied her powder and lipstick, and hoped her red-rimmed eyes weren’t too obvious. Then she stepped out of the SUV and trekked up the long, shallow stairs, down an extended walkway flanked by the wings of the house, then reached the entrance. Butterflies boxed in her stomach as she rang the bell. Now she just hoped Gloria Beckman wouldn’t slam the door in her face.
Chapter Four
Heavenly’s heart pounded as she waited for Beck’s wife to answer the door.
When she and Raine had concocted the plan to spread her dad’s ashes back home, Heavenly realized that all roads from LA to Wisconsin led directly through Las Vegas. It had seemed like the perfect opportunity to meet the woman who had once held Beck’s heart and hear the truth about their divorce.
Now she wasn’t so sure this had been a good idea. After all, she and this woman would never be friends…but the chances they’d be enemies were high.
As the lock snicked, she held her breath. The door opened to reveal a dynamo of a redhead, short hair spiked with attitude. She wore a white pencil-skirt suit. Black satin trimmed the figure-hugging jacket at the collar and cuffs, as well as outlined her ample breasts and torso like a corset. Her hourglass curves were completely covered, but the effect was decidedly suggestive. The woman’s flawless makeup was colorful, accentuating her bright eyes and almost concealing the fact she was older than Beck.
Heavenly had expected a young Instagram-ready supermodel, not this polished, professional-looking cougar.
“H-hi. Mrs. Beckman?”
“Call me Gloria.” The redhead smiled.
Heavenly feared the woman’s congeniality wouldn’t last once she learned why she’d come.
“Um, you don’t know me, but...” I accidentally slept with your husband.
“Sure I do. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Heavenly. Come on in.”
She froze. “How did you…”
“Know? Ken hasn’t shut up about you since Christmas. You’re even more beautiful than your picture.”
Beck told his wife about me? “Thank you. I-I don’t understand.”
Gloria took her hand in a firm grip and drew her inside the lofty air-conditioned foyer, complete with wall mosaic and a rustic chandelier. A modest diamond sparkled on her finger—Beck’s ring, no doubt. The thought made Heavenly sick.
“I can tell, honey.” She shut and locked the front door. “But it’s obvious you’ve been crying. Why don’t you sit down and tell me what Ken did. He must have fucked up.”
“Yes, but I did, too.”
With a raised brow, Gloria ushered her into a subtly elegant living room. Up close, she appeared even older than first glance, maybe a full decade Beck’s senior. Heavenl
y hadn’t seen that coming.
Gloria plopped onto the pillowy, pristine sofa, then tugged Heavenly down beside her. “I’m not surprised he did, but I doubt your screwup, whatever it was, changed how he feels. That man is hooked. And now that I’ve met you, I see why.”
Shockingly, Beck’s wife didn’t sound hostile and wasn’t casting her in the role of homewrecking whore.
Then again, maybe she shouldn’t be so shocked since everything about Gloria had been a surprise so far.
“I’m sorry to bring you bad news. There’s no easy way to say this.” Heavenly swallowed down more nausea. “I-I had sex with your husband.”
“You did?” She raised a brow. And she…smiled?
“I’m so sorry. I swear it won’t happen again—”
“It better.” A brash grin split her face. “In fact, you should let Ken fuck your brains out every night and twice on Sundays.”
Heavenly couldn’t possibly have heard that right…except she had. “You’re not angry? You don’t hate me?”
“Oh, honey, no. I’m thrilled! Ken deserves all the love in the world. I’m hoping he’ll finally have that with you.”
There wasn’t an ounce of snark in Gloria’s tone.
Holy cow. Mind blown.
“But you don’t look happy.” The redhead leaned in with a frown. “If he didn’t do you right, tell me. I’ll slap him upside the head.”
Was Beck’s wife really asking about their sex life?
“That’s not…” Heavenly shook her head, at a loss for words. “You understand that he cheated on you with me? I didn’t know he was married until afterward but—”
“Ken didn’t cheat. Well, technically, he did. But don’t give that another thought.”
What? “Do you have an open marriage?”
Gloria laughed. “It’s barely a marriage at all, one Ken obviously didn’t explain. Men are such lousy communicators. I should kick his ass for keeping you in the dark.”
But not for cheating?
“He tried,” Heavenly admitted. “I didn’t listen.”
“Because you thought he was a lying, two-timing asshole?”
