Spitfire in Love

by Isabelle Ronin

  You’re just like everybody else.

  I’d said that to him the night before he left. I realized now how hurtful it was, but it was my truth back then. He’d hurt me too. Worse, he left without saying a word.

  “Are you mad at me? Are you fucking kidding me?” I shouted. I walked away, fast, and then I was running.

  I glanced behind me and saw Cameron keeping pace a few feet away. He was giving me space, but that wasn’t enough. I needed to not see him. I needed another world to live in without him.

  Suddenly, I spotted a familiar car slowing down close to me. I ran near to the road, waving my arms. The car stopped and I got in.

  In my peripheral, I saw Cameron run toward me, heard him shout my name. I closed the door of the car and forgot about him.

  “Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Chung.”

  Her grandchildren lived in that area, and it was a very fortunate coincidence that she happened to be driving by.

  “Oh, you’re welcome, Kara dear. Do you know who that guy was? He was following you.”

  “Maybe he wants to sell me something.”

  “Fruit, maybe?” she suggested. “He sure looked handsome, didn’t he?”

  When she pulled in front of our shop, I gave her a small smile and slipped out of the vehicle. I waved goodbye and watched my ride drive away. I was about to turn and walk to my house when I saw my car barreling down the street.

  Cameron’s death stare was on me as he pulled my car into the lot. He slammed the door closed and headed over to me purposely. His eyes burning with temper.

  “Tell me what the fuck you’re trying to prove,” he said quietly. Dangerously.

  “I don’t need to prove anything to you. You on the other hand have a lot to prove.”

  “He could’ve been a murderer!”

  “Could have. But obviously wasn’t because I’m still alive.”

  “And you asked him to drop you off at your place. At your place! Now he knows where the hell you live. Don’t you have any fucking self-preservation?”

  His eyes were bright with anger. There was a sick kind of satisfaction inside me to see him lose control. For once.

  “First of all,” I shot back, “you’re one to lecture me about self-preservation when you were the one who jumped in front of my car! I could’ve run you over and then I would’ve gone to jail!”

  He shot me a glare.

  “Second of all, I’m not stupid enough to get into just anyone’s car. I knew who the driver was. Third of all, you have no right to tell me what to do.” Suddenly, my mouth felt dry. “You left without a fucking word,” I said. Finally.

  He was breathing hard. His eyes had darkened. His walls were up.

  “Tell me why the hell you left, Cameron.”

  He took a deep breath, his gaze fixed on my face.

  “Kara,” he said softly.

  He sounded so vulnerable, so open, so needy when he was like this. I felt my resolve weakening. He moved closer. Then held my face in his large hands, his thumb stroking my cheek, sliding down to my bottom lip in a caress filled with longing that tightened my throat. “Kara.”

  No. But I closed my eyes, my body fighting so hard not to lean against him, not to give in.

  “There is no other woman in this world that could drive me to my fucking knees but you.”

  I felt his lips touch mine so softly, so fleetingly, my heart yearned.

  I opened my eyes and watched him silently turn and walk away.

  Chapter 24

  Kara

  Some mornings, I really didn’t want to get out of bed. On those days, I just shut my brain off and went through the motions. It helped when I didn’t think of everything I had to get done and just focused on one thing at a time.

  Wake up, coffee, eat breakfast, get ready. Go to class, coffee, eat on the go, drive to work or do some errands, coffee, worry, do my assignments and review. Eat, shower, worry, go to bed. Repeat.

  But today was different.

  Today, it wasn’t just my body that ached. It was my heart.

  I wished I had enough money to move to another province, to another country, to another planet. Maybe the time machine would be invented in my lifetime, and I just hoped I could afford to buy or rent one. Oh, the fun I could have.

  Already I could hear the sounds of my dad making breakfast in the kitchen. The thought of him working so hard was the reason I forced myself to move. I knew even after his work at the garage, he would take on some odd jobs for extra cash. Tonight, he was supposed to paint the local gymnasium. If my supervisor at the nursing home didn’t call me tonight, I’d help him out.

  I pushed myself up from bed and headed to the kitchen.

  “Good morning, sweetheart,” my dad greeted as I sat at the kitchen island. “Here you go.”

  I grabbed the coffee he handed me, sipped, breathed it in, sipped some more.

  “Cereal or toast?” he asked, like he did every morning because that was all my stomach could take in the morning.

  “Toast, please,” I mumbled, my face in my coffee.

  “Coming right up. So,” my dad began as soon as he placed the toast in front of me and topped off my coffee. “How’s my favorite daughter?”

  “I’m your only daughter.”

  “I think in another dimension I probably have ten daughters,” he said, wiping the counter. “But you’d be my favorite.”

  I am my father’s daughter through and through.

  “I was just thinking of buying a time machine.”

  My dad’s eyes sparkled with humor. “If you go first, check out my future self and let me know if I’m still hot, eh?”

  I winked at him, forcing myself to cheer up. “You bet.” I watched his back as he went to the sink, washed the rag, hung it over the long neck of the faucet to dry. “Hey, Dad,” I said and waited until he turned to face me. “I got the job.”

  When my dad smiled, really smiled, his whole face lit up. It was hard not to smile back. “Oh, baby girl, I knew it. Congratulations! Want pizza tonight to celebrate?”

  I nodded happily. “My treat.” I was planning on buying them takeout on my first paycheck, but what was wrong with now? I’d buy them pizza tonight and on my first paycheck.

  He frowned. “Oops. Sorry, I just remembered I have extra work tonight. How about tomorrow night?”

  Oh, right. The gymnasium.

  “That sounds good. I’ll drive to the gym after class and give you a hand if I don’t have work tonight.”

  “That’s okay. Dylan will help me for a couple hours and Erwin is coming too. About this new job—”

  “Mornin’,” Dylan mumbled as he walked sleepily into the kitchen.

  My dad scooped food from the pan and handed him a plate of pancakes and bacon. Dylan grabbed a juice from the fridge, sat next to me, and proceeded to inhale his food. I had no idea how he could eat so much in the morning.

  “All right, kids, I gotta open up shop. I’ll see you both tonight. Stay safe.” He patted both our heads, walked to the door, and put on his jacket, shoes, and cap, and went out.

  “Hey, Dyl,” I said. “I got the job.”

  He nodded sleepily, drank his apple juice. “I knew you would.”

  “So, who’s your friend who recommended me?”

  He stabbed at his pancakes and shoveled another huge forkful into his mouth while his eyes were still half-closed. I always worried he’d choke to death eating half-asleep, but he’d seemed to be managing pretty well since he started eating solid food. I took a sip of my coffee.

  “Cameron.”

  I choked, spat my drink back in the mug, and started coughing. “What?”

  His eyes widened in alarm. “Shoot. I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

  “Cameron?” My throat was burning. “Cameron Saint Laurent? Like the guy wh
ose motorcycle you hit-and-run?”

  He nodded grimly. “He actually texted me about it a few weeks ago, and I brought it up to you, but you were acting all psycho. I just remembered it again when I texted you about the interview. Don’t tell him I told you.”

  “B-but how the hell?” I sputtered. “I mean how did you guys even talk?”

  “It’s cool. I found his phone number and started texting him. I mean I don’t think he’s a text kind of guy. He doesn’t even reply most times, and when he does, it’s like one or two words, but we manage.”

  “Oh God.” I groaned, collapsing on the kitchen island with my cheek on the cold surface. “No, no, no.”

  I knew how naive and sheltered my brother was, but I hadn’t expected him to want to be friends with Cameron. Certainly not worship him.

  “He’s actually a really good guy, Kar—”

  He stopped as I pushed my chair back, scowling at him.

  I spotted the bacon on the side of his plate. I knew he always saved it for last. I growled at him, and he must have seen something in my face because his eyes widened in horror. Without mercy, I snatched his bacon and placed it in my mouth.

  “Nooo!” he cried. “Why?”

  “Don’t talk to him again!” I marched to the bathroom, spat out the bacon in the toilet and flushed it. I went to my room and looked at my phone.

  My heart skipped a beat when I saw a message in my inbox. It was from an unknown number.

  Where are you?

  It’s Cameron.

  Did he get a new number? I ignored his texts, changed his name back to SOS, then changed it to Asshole Cameron instead. It had a nicer ring to it. Then I turned my phone off and got ready for school.

  My mood followed me to my classes.

  When class ended, I gathered my things and walked out in the hallway. As usual, I leaned against the wall, waiting for everyone to get the hell out of my way, so I didn’t have to bump shoulders and smell people. Ten seconds, twenty, thirty. I fished for my phone in my backpack. Biting my lip, I turned it on.

  Right away, it vibrated with incoming text messages. I bit my lip harder.

  One was from Tala and the other from Thomas.

  Tala: Just tell him how you feel! You never stopped yourself before, why now?

  Thomas: Thanks for the discount on my oil change. Your dad was great. I’m taking you to my favorite ice cream shop next time.

  I quickly replied to them. I’d been texting and hanging out with Tala and Thomas more ever since Cameron disappeared. They had even met last weekend, and I was glad they liked each other. It helped to be distracted by them.

  If I felt disappointment because Cameron didn’t text me, I ignored it.

  You didn’t reply to him in the first place. Why would you expect he’ll text you again?

  Because I wanted to see if he meant what he said yesterday.

  And a text will do that?

  To start.

  You wouldn’t have replied to him anyway.

  I wanted him to do more than text.

  Well, heads up!

  I raised my head. My heart, feeling droopy earlier, jumped against my ribs. There on the same bench where I’d seen him before was Cameron. In the same loose-limbed, sprawling position.

  His massive body looked relaxed. Muscular legs spread, elbows bent and resting on the back of the bench. He looked calm, but when my eyes met his, there was a storm in them.

  We looked at each other. Just looked. Taking in all the details.

  My gaze shifted behind him. He was surrounded by the basketball team, but he ignored everyone. Caleb caught my eye. He pointed at Cameron, grinning at me. He’s back, he mouthed, motioning for me to hang out with them.

  I glared at him and shook my head, wanting to stuff his mouth with a dirty sock. Be quiet! I wanted to yell. He was like a little kid. It would have been adorable if only I didn’t want Cameron to find out I had been looking for him. When I saw Cameron look behind him, Caleb stopped moving and pressed his lips together, looking guilty. I rushed out of there.

  “Damndamndamn,” I groaned as I walked to the cafeteria and chose a table.

  I wondered if Caleb already told him I had been looking for him while he was away for more than two weeks. He probably had.

  I groaned, feeling sorry for how stupid I was. I shouldn’t have asked Caleb.

  Funny how when I was ready to talk about my feelings, Tala wasn’t here. She texted me back and said she was going to miss her classes today because she had to take care of family matters. She sounded busy, so I told her we’d catch up sometime this week.

  It was frustrating how life threw these plot twists at me.

  Apart from the three students in the far corner and the culinary arts students prepping the buffet table for lunch, the cafeteria was empty.

  I wasn’t sure if part of the culinary arts students’ practicum was to serve meals at the cafeteria, but I knew when they were present, the meals were always good. But today I couldn’t even summon the enthusiasm to eat.

  I dumped my phone and my backpack on the table and laid my head on top of it.

  “Where were you this morning?”

  “Shit!” I jumped as Cameron occupied the seat across from me.

  He leaned back, watching me with anger in his eyes.

  I straightened up in my seat, glaring at him.

  “I told you I wasn’t going to pick you up anymore,” I told him wearily.

  “That’s going to be a problem.”

  “The only problem is that you’re still here and—”

  There is no other woman in this world that could drive me to my fucking knees but you.

  “And?” he prompted. He looked tired, as if, like me, he didn’t get any sleep last night. But damn he looked so good.

  “And…and…”

  My phone lit up. His eyes dropped to it, reading the text message.

  “Who’s Thomas?” His voice sounded hard.

  For a moment, I thought about lying and telling him Thomas was my boyfriend. I was so tempted to. But in the end, I decided against it. Lying wouldn’t bring me anything but more heartbreak.

  “He’s the guy who doubted that JC had risen from the dead.”

  “What?”

  I grabbed my phone and sent Thomas a reply.

  “You can’t wait to send him a message when you can’t even reply to mine?” he accused hotly.

  I let out an incredulous puff of breath through my nose. “And you replied to mine?” I shot back. “You’re asking a lot of things from me when you haven’t given anything back.”

  The muscle in his jaw ticked.

  “It’s best if you leave me alone,” I said quietly.

  He looked down, his hands curling into fists. When his eyes returned to my face, there was an emotion in them that tightened my throat.

  “Tell me why you left,” I said.

  He rubbed his mouth with his hand, his gaze taking in my features, as if he was memorizing every one of them. But when he stayed quiet, I grabbed my backpack and my phone and walked away.

  “Fuck!” I heard him hiss in frustration.

  But I ignored it, even when my heart was yelling at me to turn back around and talk it out with him.

  The day dragged. I felt itchy all day, suffocated in the four walls of the lecture hall. I couldn’t concentrate on anything and desperately wanted to leave campus. But when my last class ended, it took ten minutes of dragging my feet, trying to decide whether to stay, before I decided to head to the parking lot to my car.

  I knew Cameron had practice tonight. Should I stay and wait for him or just leave? I looked at my phone for the thousandth time today. Still no texts from him.

  It was eight thirty, and I noted that he still had a half hour before his practice ended. It was dark outs
ide, but the lampposts illuminated the parking lot. There were only about fifteen cars left in the massive parking lot, probably most of them from the basketball team. Did Cameron bring his own vehicle tonight?

  “I’m leaving. I’m not waiting,” I muttered under my breath as I stashed my phone in my purse. When I looked up, I gasped.

  Cameron was leaning against the side of my car, waiting for me. He had his hoodie up, covering his face, but I knew it was him. There was no way I wouldn’t recognize that devil-may-care way of his stance, the confidence in his movements as he pushed away from my car.

  He looked up, and the need I saw in his gaze spoke to me more than his words, but then he masked it quickly, hiding himself from me again.

  This is not going to work.

  “I didn’t expect you to,” he said, “but I hoped you would wait anyway.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. He’d heard me.

  “I thought you had practice tonight,” I said.

  “I did.”

  “You didn’t go?”

  He didn’t answer. I closed my eyes, praying for patience.

  “If you’re not going to talk,” I said under my breath, “just go. I want to go home.”

  “I don’t know why the fuck I can’t let you go,” he said suddenly.

  My chest felt tight.

  “I—”

  My phone pinged with a text and he stopped whatever he was going to say. Then his eyes narrowed.

  “Same guy who texted you this morning?” His voice was cold again. How fast he switched moods. “I know I was gone for a few weeks, but I didn’t expect you to move on so fast.” It was a statement. He believed it. “Makes me fucking wonder if I should even be here.”

  He raked his hands through his hair as he looked down at the ground. When he looked up, his eyes were accusing.

  My temper ignited. “Go to hell!”

  I had no idea where he was coming from. I don’t know why the fuck I’m here? And that look he gave me made me furious. As if I had no right to move on, as if I cheated on him when he was the one who left. We weren’t even in a relationship.

  Makes me fucking wonder if I should even be here? He might as well have told me I wasn’t worth it. It fucking hurt. I couldn’t go on like this. This had to end.