Matt - The Black Tuxedos MC

by Darlene Tallman

  Walking into the hospital, I’m hit with the smells that take me back to my own stay. I know hospitals are a necessary evil and of course, a lot of good things happen like babies and shit, but right now, there’s a little girl struggling to breathe and a mom who is likely at the end of her proverbial rope, so I push my aversion aside and stride over to the information desk and within seconds am heading to the elevator.

  It’s time to claim my woman.

  That thought no longer scares me. I know we have a lot to learn about one another and I sure as hell don’t expect anything right now, but I’m hoping in time we’ll build something based on mutual respect and friendship.

  And if love eventually comes, I’m okay with that too.

  I take a deep breath before I walk into the room to prepare myself for whatever I might see. Opening the door as quietly as possible, I feel my heart drop when I glance over and notice that Aria is in a bed, a clear tent-like thing covering her. Mandie is laying with her head near her daughter’s, outside the tent, and I can tell she’s beyond exhausted. Despite the dark circles under her eyes, she’s still the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. I place the bag of food onto the rolling table and pick her up from the recliner, sit back down and curl her into my arms.

  She never moves, even though in her sleep, she snuggles closer. Placing a soft kiss on her temple, I silently vow that her struggles are a thing of the past.

  7

  Mandie

  As I slowly wake up, I become aware of strong arms holding me close. When I finally dozed off while watching Aria sleep, I was in a recliner next to her bed. Now, I’m in a pair of muscle-bound arms that I recognize, even in my sleepy haze.

  Matt.

  Matt is here, only how did he find out? I didn’t think to call him, so used to handling things on my own.

  “You’re thinking too hard, sweetheart,” he murmurs. His sleep-roughened voice sends tingles throughout my body.

  Get a grip, Mandie! Now’s not the time or the place.

  “What...how...Matt, how did you find out where I was?” I finally ask.

  “Wanted to see you so I went to The Steakhouse for lunch. Juan told me,” he replies. I feel him shift beneath me, then the lightest touch, as soft as what I imagine butterfly wings would feel like brushes against the top of my head. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I’ve always wanted a man who would do those little things; kiss my forehead, brush back my hair, hold me when I cry.

  “Beau! I need to check on him,” I cry out as I pull away.

  He tightens his arms and says, “He’s fine. Juan said that Olive took him over to their house. They’ve got him; your only focus right now is on Aria, okay?”

  I nod as tears begin to streak down my face. “I should’ve known, Matt,” I whisper, looking at my daughter. She looks so small in the hospital bed. They decided at some point to put the oxygen tent around her and I say a silent prayer that it’s working. My eyes glance at the monitor over her bed and a ghost of a smile crosses my lips. “It’s working,” I murmur.

  “What’s working?” he asks.

  “They decided to add the oxygen tent because even with the oxygen at full strength, her numbers were crappy. Look, though, they’re coming up!” I state, pointing.

  “It’s at ninety,” he announces. “Shouldn’t it be higher?”

  I turn and look at him. “When she got here, her numbers were in the high fifties, Matt. She was in respiratory distress. I could’ve lost her!” I feel the moment that I lose it, because he pulls me close as sobs wrack my body. I should have seen she was struggling, but I was so thrilled that she was playing and had made some new friends, I didn’t even notice.

  He doesn’t say anything, he just runs his hands up and down my back. His touch is soothing, and I find myself relaxing in his embrace while all the fear and terror of the past hours wash out of me. As I sit back a bit and start wiping my face from the tears, his hand comes up and he swipes them away with his thumb. “You’re not alone in this, Mandie,” he states. “I’ve got you now.”

  His touch is gentle and calming, despite his size. I’m not sure what I’ve done right in this life to warrant having a man like him show interest, but I’m going to grab the brass ring with both hands. I may be scared shitless about any kind of physical relationship, but maybe he’ll give me the time I need to wrap my mind around exposing myself like that to another man. Alistair was less than complimentary, and his words sometimes play on a loop in my head.

  You’re kind of chunky now, Mandie. Your hips spread after the baby. Those stretch marks are disgusting. Breastfeeding has made your tits sag.

  “You’re in your head again, Mandie. Do you want to share?” he asks.

  Sighing, I look up at him, only to see the warmth in his gaze. There’s no judgment and that loosens my memories. “My ex wasn’t very nice, Matt.”

  Steel bands tighten around me as he states, “Explain that.”

  “We were both foster care kids and became friends at my last house. Mama T was something, Matt. She treated us like we were her own flesh and blood. That’s where I learned how to cook and keep a house. Anyway, we turned eighteen and decided we’d live together. I got pregnant with Aria, which he wasn’t too thrilled about, but after growing up with parents who loved me, then having Mama T when they passed away, I wanted someone to love, you know?” He nods and I take a deep breath before continuing. “He wasn’t very reliable with working. He’d find a job, work for a few weeks, maybe a month, then he’d quit or get fired because he’d get pissed off. So, I did what I could to help keep a roof over our heads and make sure that Aria had what she needed.” As the memories flood over me, I feel tears slipping down my face, which he wipes away.

  “You can stop if you need to, baby,” he murmurs.

  “No, I’m good,” I reply. “Anyway, the day I found out I was pregnant with Beau, I told him, figuring that would make him straighten up, you know? Only...only it didn’t.”

  “What did he do?” His voice is low and menacing and if it weren’t for the gentle hands still running up and down my back and arms, I’d be worried.

  “He, uh, he didn’t take the news well,” I whisper. That’s an understatement if ever I heard one.

  “How so?” Now, his tone is even lower, causing me to shiver. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I get the impression that he hurt you.”

  “He did.” My voice is so small, I don’t think he hears me until I feel his arms pull me even closer.

  “Never again, sweetheart. You hear me?” His vehement response has me relaxing.

  I’m so lost in the memories that I continue talking, taking comfort in his embrace. “He beat me that day, pretty badly in fact, then took off. I came to and managed to get to Aria. It took me a few weeks to recover, Matt.” The police had wanted me to file charges, so I did, but it made no difference. Alistair was gone and based on his last actions, he was never coming back, a fact I wasn’t too torn up about, all things considered.

  “Fuck, Mandie. He put his hands on you?” I hear the rage in his voice and feel his arms tighten around me at my words and know instinctively that this man would cut off his arm before he’d ever hurt a woman.

  “Yeah. It wasn’t the first time, but he’d never gone that far before,” I admit, shame lacing my tone. I never thought I’d let that happen to me, yet it did and the mortification I still feel has my face heating. “I was making plans to leave when I found out about Beau.” The bastard had stolen the majority of the money I had hidden away, but he didn’t get it all which was a good thing since it kept me afloat until I was able to work.

  “Has he been back?” I shake my head violently at his question.

  “No. I think...I think he left town completely. The police weren’t able to find him. I’ve got a protective order, though, in case he ever decides to come back. Plus, because of his actions, I was able to get his rights terminated.” I once again count my lucky stars that Juan and Maria entered my life because they helped me get all of t
hat accomplished. It may be scary sometimes being the one that the kids are wholly dependent on, but I know I’ll do anything for them.

  “So you’ve been doing all of this on your own?”

  “With the help of Juan, Maria and Olive,” I reply.

  “So fucking strong,” he whispers, kissing my temple.

  “Not really, Matt. I just didn’t have anything to fall back on, so I had to keep moving forward. I’m just lucky that Juan hired me when he did.” I giggle, remembering that day. Who the hell goes into a prospective interview pregnant with a toddler on their hip?

  “You’ve got me too now, sweetheart,” he advises. “And with me, comes the club.”

  I’m about to reply when I hear Aria whimpering. I jump up from his lap and reach over to touch her through the holes in the tent. “Shhh, Mommy’s here, pumpkin.”

  “Hurts, Mommy,” Aria cries, rubbing her chest.

  “I know, I know. Your lungs are sick, sweetie. You’re getting medicine to make them all better, okay?” Her plaintive cries are breaking my heart and I feel tears sliding down my face once again. At this rate, I’ll be dehydrated.

  “Let me go get the nurse,” Matt says, standing and heading toward the door.

  I send him a grateful smile then focus back on my daughter. “Let’s sit you up a little bit, okay?” I ask, pushing the button on the side of the bed to raise it a little. “That might help.”

  “Look who’s awake,” the nurse says as she comes into the room. I like the pediatric wing here; all the nurses wear cartoon scrubs and genuinely care for the little ones. “Let me check you over, Miss Aria,” she says, before opening up the oxygen tent. I step back slightly, still holding my sweet girl’s hand and watch as the nurse takes her vitals. “She’s doing better. I think we can go back to the mask instead of the tent. That way, you can crawl in next to her,” she tells me. That’s something else I like about this place; I can cuddle my child and help keep her calm which will let her body heal.

  “How-how do her lungs sound?”

  “A lot clearer. There’s still some crackling, but the medicine is working. I’ll give the doctor an update and see if he wants another blood gas draw. I’m sure we’ll need another X-ray, but that might not be for a day or two.”

  I cringe when I hear her say they may need another blood gas test, not looking forward to seeing my sweet girl restrained again while she cries in pain. When I glance at Aria, I notice her hair is all matted from the fever. “Can I give her a bath?”

  “That shouldn’t be a problem. Why don’t you get it ready and I’ll cap off her IV and put a waterproof covering over it? I’m sure she’ll feel better once she’s nice and clean.” I nod and head into the bathroom, Matt following behind me.

  “Do you need me to go get anything? I have food here from Juan, but we probably need to heat it up.”

  “There’s a family area just past the nurse’s station with a microwave,” I reply as I work to get the water temperature adjusted.

  He heads off to take care of reheating our food and I carry my girl into the bathroom, a clean hospital gown and pull-up in my arms as well. “Mommy, I don’t want to wear that,” Aria states as I undress her.

  I set her on the toilet and say, “I know, pumpkin, but with everything they’re giving you, I don’t want you to have an accident in your panties. How about this, when you’re awake, I’ll carry you in to use the potty.”

  “Okay, Mommy. I’s a big girl now and don’t need them.” I grin because Aria is spunky and sassy, but not a brat.

  “How about we get you cleaned up?” I ask once she’s finished. She grins and lets me take her hospital gown off and place her in the tub.

  “This feels good, Mommy,” she says. I take my time washing and conditioning her hair while she haphazardly washes her body. Once her hair is squeaky clean again, I take over for her and before long, she’s clean, dried, powdered and back in a new hospital gown and pull-up.

  “Okay, pumpkin, let’s get you back into bed,” I state, standing.

  “I’ve got her,” Matt says, scaring the shit out of me. I had no idea he had returned, and I can feel my heart racing.

  “You scared me half to death,” I tell him, my hand over my heart.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he replies before scooping up Aria and carrying her back to her bed. I don’t know what he says, but she’s giggling as he gently puts her in the middle of the bed then covers her up.

  I walk over with a brush and towel so that I can dry her hair then get it combed out. “Let Mommy fix your hair, Aria,” I say as I crawl into the bed and place her between my legs. “Do you want me to braid it?” I question.

  “Yes, pwease, Mommy,” she replies, looking back at me. I lean down and kiss her chin, thankful that her lips are back to their normal bubblegum pink color and not tinged with blue. That sight alone took ten years off my life. Matt picks up the remote for the television and starts scrolling through to find something for her to watch while I lose myself in the simple task of drying her hair then braiding it ‘like Anna’ does. She loves the movie Frozen and I make a mental note to call Ollie and see if she’ll bring the stuffed Olaf that she sleeps with every night.

  “Do you want me to call Ollie and see if she’ll bring Olaf and Poppy for you?” She also loves the Trolls, especially Poppy. The stuffed one that Juan and Maria got for her is nearly half her size, but she doesn’t care. She has tea parties with them several times a week that Beau, Ollie and me attend.

  “I can run and get it for you, so Olive doesn’t have to go back out with the baby if you’d like,” Matt says. “Do you have anything else you want me to grab?”

  I stop and think; the trip here was so quick that I brought nothing with me except the bag Ollie gave me and after looking at what she packed, I still need stuff. I’m going to need at least a change or two of clothes, my brush and also my personal hygiene items. I’m a little hesitant to let him see the state of my wardrobe but he’s right, Ollie doesn’t need to be hauling Beau around or bringing him up to the hospital. I don’t want him exposed unnecessarily to the germs this place holds. “You wouldn’t mind?” I hesitantly ask.

  “Not at all. Write a list, Mandie, and I’ll get it taken care of. I’m sure you’d be more comfortable in lounging clothes than jeans.” I giggle because he’s right. When I’m home, it’s sweats, shorts, leggings; my jeans are pretty much reserved for work or when I have to run errands.

  I finish Aria’s hair then slide out from behind her. Once she’s comfortably sitting up, I slide the tray table in front of her and open up a container of applesauce that the nurse brought in earlier. “Here, sweetie, how about a snack?”

  “Speaking of snacks, come and eat, Mandie. You need to keep your own strength up.” I nod and walk over to the recliner, plopping my ass down on the seat, which is surprisingly comfortable. When I see what Juan sent, I grin.

  “Aria, I think Papa Juan was thinking of you too, sweetie,” I state as I lean over and put a small container on her tray. “Look what he made for you.”

  “Mouse tails and red sauce, my faborite!” she exclaims, causing both of us to laugh.

  Matt leans in and whispers, “Mouse tails?”

  I can’t help it; I start laughing harder. “She watched some animated movie that had cute mice in it. Anyhow, the first time she got a plate of spaghetti, she proclaimed they were mouse tails and that’s what she’s called them ever since.”

  “She’s fucking adorable, Mandie. You’ve done a good job,” he says before digging into what I know is one of the best steak sandwiches in Texas. Of course, everything that comes out of Juan’s kitchen is superb. I give him a small smile; most of the time I feel like I’m barely treading water, yet he walked in this morning and has told me I’m strong and that I’m a good mother.

  His words are like a balm to my soul and I make a promise, to myself at least, that I’ll work to replace the fucked-up shit that Alistair said with his words.

  “Thank yo
u. I think she’s pretty special too,” I reply. Juan made me a steak salad that has mandarin oranges and strawberry slices in it. He added extra meat and sent along an additional container of dressing. Once I’ve got my salad the way I want it, I tuck into it, suddenly starved.

  My nap is interrupted by the doctor who says, “Things are already looking better for you, Little Miss.” I like that the healthcare providers address my child, even though she’s not yet four. I think that keeping her involved, even if she doesn’t fully understand what’s happening, helps to keep her calm.

  “Will she need another blood gas done?” I question. I won’t lie; I cried when they did the first one in the emergency room. It took four nurses to hold my thirty-pound daughter down while a fifth nurse struggled to get it done. “She had a rough time in the emergency room which is why I’m asking,” I explain.

  He frowns then states, “It should go easier up here. One of the nurses on the IV team is a pro at getting them on children. Since we handle pediatrics on this floor, we’re more geared to handling a child. But yes, to answer your question, she’s going to need another one.” I cringe at his words even knowing that whoever comes in will be better equipped to handle the task.

  “I’ll wait to go get your things until they get it done so I can help,” Matt advises. His quiet assurance calms me, and I nod.

  8

  Matt

  Driving to Mandie’s house, I think about what I just witnessed. Despite her fear because of the pain from the first blood gas test, Aria laid there and didn’t move. She held onto my hand with a death grip, however, and I wince when I have to tighten my hold on the steering wheel. For such a little girl, she’s got some strength. True to the doctor’s word, the nurse that came in to do the blood gas draw was gentle and other than a small pinch when the needle went in, Aria didn’t feel any pain.