Remember the Stars

by Carraine Oldham

  She nods and walks away.

  “Please, take your time while eating. From the history that your friends provided, I know you haven’t had much of anything to eat for a couple of weeks. Your body may not tolerate food well. Take small sips of both the water and the soup.”

  He lets go of my hand, and something inside me yearns for him to take it back. A sense of safety washes over me, something I haven’t felt in many, many years. He pats my shoulder as if he understands what I’m thinking. I’m grateful for the kindness in his eyes and warmth of his smile. It puts me even more at ease.

  “You’re going to be okay, Estherly,” he says. “I will be back to check on you in a bit. Remember, small sips.” Walking away, he turns and gives me one last smile.

  The nurse returns with the soup and sets it and a glass of water on a tray next to me. Handing it over, I lower my nose to the bowl and inhale. The aroma of the savory soup tantalizes my senses. It takes everything in me not to devour it. Although it is simple chicken broth, it is the most decadent thing I have had in a very long time. Taking small mouthfuls of the warm liquid, I let the flavor linger on my tongue. Once finished, the nurse takes the tray, and I snuggle down into my bed to rest. I have a pillow, I think. I can’t remember the last time I rested my head on something soft and fluffy. I pull the plush blanket over my shoulders and close my eyes.

  “Estherly, my sweet girl.”

  I open my eyes, and Klara sits in a chair beside me.

  “We made it!” she says, as tears roll down her face.

  Smiling, I take her hand into mine.

  Oskar stands behind her with his hand on her shoulder. “We were so worried about you. We thought that we wouldn’t get back to you in time. We were going to bring Medical Officer Rose to you, and then we saw you crawling in the meadow. He graciously rushed over and brought you here,” Oskar says.

  “He saved my life.”

  “He did, and we’re so grateful to him,” Klara whispers. “He is a true hero.”

  “All of what was left of our group was rescued. I’ve heard talk that all the work camps are being disassembled, but you would not believe the death toll and it keeps rising every moment. So many people, so many families have been wiped out by the Nazis. They will be putting out lists of people who perished or survived from the different camps so we can find out what happened to family members in the coming weeks,” Oskar says.

  My mind wanders to Gavi and Oma; in my heart, I have often wondered if, somehow, they could possibly have made it through.

  “What happens now?”

  “I’m not sure, I guess they will let us know soon,” Oskar says.

  “Right now, you need to worry about getting well. You are safe here, and they’ll take care of you. Concentrate on that first,” Klara says, giving my hand a squeeze.

  “What about finding our children? Can we send word to the Kubises?” I ask. My heart skips a beat thinking of my son. The thought of seeing him stirs up emotions that cause my eyes to tear up.

  “I’m not sure if that is possible yet. We may have to wait on that for a little bit. Everything is still uncertain. We are safe here, but all the details haven’t been put into place yet. I know you want to find your son. We want to find our children as well, but unfortunately, things are complicated,” Oskar says.

  “First things first, young lady, you need to get well. You’re in no condition to do anything right now,” Klara says.

  “But, if we could contact them somehow, maybe we can get a head start on finding them,” I say.

  “We have to wait. I know it’s painful. My heart hurts every day that I’m not with our children. Unfortunately, it is too soon to know what we need to do to get them back. I will see if I can find out what we need to do. I’m not sure who we will need to talk to because it was all done so secretly, but I promise I will try to get some answers,” Oskar says. The tone of his voice tells me that he is serious. His eyes tell a story of a father who is as desperate to find his children as I am to find my Meir.

  “We will find our children. I have faith in that. You need to get some more rest. We’ll come back to visit with you again later,” Klara says.

  “I want to thank you both for all you have done for me. I never would have made it without your kindness,” I say.

  “We made it together, we survived together. I’m thankful that we had each other. You mean so much to us. Now get some sleep. We will come back soon,” Klara says. Letting go of my hand, she rises from the chair. Oskar places his arm around her, and they walk down the hall. Closing my eyes, I drift back to sleep.

  The sound of coughing stirs me from my slumber. Yawning, I open my eyes. The room is softly lit, and it takes a minute for my vision to adjust. Sitting in the chair beside me, Medical Officer Rose writes on a clipboard. Studying him for a moment, I realize how handsome he is. His dark hair complements his light eyes. He has a strong jaw but such tenderness in his face.

  Looking up, he greets me with a smile. “Did I wake you?”

  “No.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m still feeling a bit weak, but better now than I was.”

  “Can I get you anything?” he asks. Placing his clipboard down on the table next to my bed, he takes my hand in his.

  The warmth of his touch soothes my soul. Even though I barely know him, I can tell he’s a good person. His hands are strong and make me feel like nothing can happen to me as long as he is near.

  “I’m fine. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

  “I came to check on you. You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake you. I thought I would sit and do some work, but I didn’t want to leave in case you woke up. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

  “That was very nice of you. Thank you so much for caring for me.”

  “You’re more than welcome. I promised you that you are in good hands and I will keep that promise as long as you are under my care,” he says, giving my hand a pat.

  “You’re very kind, thank you,” I say, glancing at a vase full of beautiful wildflowers on my nightstand.

  “I thought they would cheer you up.”

  “They’re so beautiful.” Tears well in my eyes at the thought of his kind gesture. I imagine him picking them himself, and my heart warms.

  “I’d like to have your clothes and coat washed for you,” he says, lifting my jacket.

  “My belongings are in the pockets.”

  Medical Officer Rose reaches into the coat and pulls out my tattered diary and stub of a pencil, along with the photographs I’ve been carrying for years.

  “Is this your family?” he asks, holding up the images.

  I nod, and more tears build in the corners of my eyes. I point to the photo of my parents. “That’s my mother and father. They were killed in the field you found me in. Next to that picture is my brother, Gavi. He and my sister, Oma, were taken by the Nazis. Is there any way you can find out if they’re still alive? I have no idea where they were taken.”

  “Yes, I can try to help you with that,” he says, to my surprise.

  “The little girl”—I choke back sobs—“is my baby sister Anika. She, too, was murdered.”

  “I’m so sorry, Estherly. What you’ve gone through is horrendous. I’ll help you in any way that I can.”

  “Thank you, Medical Officer Rose.”

  “Please, call me Oren.” He lifts my soiled clothes and looks them over. “I believe I can find you new clothes.” He smiles.

  “I would like to keep my old clothes, if that’s okay. They have sentimental meaning to me.”

  “Of course. I’ll have them cleaned,” he says, wearing an understanding smile.

  “Oren, can I ask you for more help, please? I have to beg for your assistance in finding my son.”

  “You have a child? Was he in the forest with you?” he asks, his tone rising.

  “No. I took him to a man and woman who helped get him out of Poland. Their names w
ere Sebastian and Aneta Kubis. I have the address in my diary. Can you please send someone to look for them?”

  Oren hands me the book, and I turn to the page where I know the address is. “Can I go there? Can someone take me there? It’s not far.”

  “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. You’re far too weak, but I will send troops to see if we can contact them.”

  “Thank you. Bless you!” I can no longer hold back my tears and let them flow.

  Leaning into me, Oren tucks me into his embrace. “I will do everything I can to help you, I promise,” he whispers.

  I let myself fall into his chest, and everything I have been holding in all these years pours out of me.

  Chapter 23 – Ferrin

  Pacing my living room, I anxiously await Sam’s arrival. Not only will I get to see him after four long days, but I’ll also put in some snuggle time with Otis. Sam was supposed to be over in five minutes, but it seems like it’s taking forever. Glancing down at my couch, I spot Estherly’s diaries and can’t wait to read more with Sam later. Even though I received some answers when I met her family, Oma made sure that the major plotlines of Estherly’s story weren’t spoiled for me.

  The knock on my front door sends a shiver of excitement down my spine and sets my nerves on fire. Running over to the door, I stop right before opening it and take time to straighten my hair and smooth out any wrinkles in my clothing.

  My heart explodes into tiny pieces at Sam’s smile. In his arms, he holds Otis, and I reach for him, taking Otis into my arms. “Otie!” I say, snuggling his soft fur.

  “Mum, why did you leave me with this man?” Otis says. “How could you trust him with my most important life? How do you know he’s not a wanker?

  I laugh and then wave Sam in. Setting Otis down, I can’t help turning and wrapping my arms around Sam. His scent shoots me to the stars.

  Near my ear he whispers, “I really missed you.”

  Chills take over my skin and I dissolve into him.

  Pulling away from me, Sam takes my face into his hands, and to my surprise, he presses his lips to mine. I’m a puddle. The room spins as his tongue makes its way between my lips. I allow it in and swirl mine with his. My grip on him grows stronger, and his hands find their way to my waist. He explores the sides of my body with a motion that soothes. I’m lost to him as we stand with my front door still open, kissing. I’ve dreamt about this moment so many times before, but I never could’ve imagined it being as good as it is. Sam breaks our kiss, tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, and stares into my eyes. My knees weaken, and I swear I’m about to faint.

  “I really missed you,” he says.

  “I see that. I missed you, too.” I smile.

  Sam turns and shuts my door, then links his fingers with mine and walks me to the living room where we sit next to each other on the couch.

  “It’s good to have you home.”

  “Thanks,” I say. “Was Otis good for you?”

  “Still the coolest cat on the planet.”

  “Did I ever tell you that he speaks with an English accent?” The words slip out before I can think about my confession. He’s probably going to think I’m a freakin’ nutcase now. I’m so nervous from the kiss that the word vomit flies out.

  Sam laughs, and not a little laugh, but one that comes straight from his gut. “Ferrin, you are the strangest and most unique woman I’ve ever met.”

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” I giggle.

  “You should, because that’s how it’s meant. You’ve captured my heart.”

  I’ve captured his heart. Me? My insides turn to gelatin, and I let out way too loud of a sigh.

  “So,” he says, and pauses. “Since you kissed me back, I assume you didn’t mind that I planted one on you?”

  Trying to keep my cool and not go bananas on him, I grin. “I enjoyed it very much.”

  Sam leans in. “I did, too.” He closes his eyes and comes in for another kiss. I welcome it. I’ve never been kissed this way, as if his life depends on this intimate moment or like our kiss is providing air to his lungs. His lips are full, and he tastes savory and delicious. Making their way to my back, his hands draw me closer to his body. The warmth coming from him heats my body and my soul. Bringing my hand up to his face, I run it over the stubble on his jawline, and then I tangle my fingers in his wavy hair.

  I should go away more often, I think, and then bring my focus back to us.

  Coming up for air, we pant and look into each other’s eyes. I’m in love. This is no longer infatuation or a silly crush. I’m in love with this man, and I pray he loves me back.

  “You’re an incredible kisser. Even better than I imagined,” he says.

  “You’ve thought about kissing me?”

  “Oh, yeah. For a while now.”

  Putting up a hand, I say, “Wait. How long is for a while now?”

  Sam shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess since I moved in next door.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

  “Nope. You’re an extremely attractive woman. Getting to know you has only intensified my feelings for you.”

  His words fill me with the confidence to make my own confession. “I’ve had a crush on you since you moved in, and this whole time I’ve been pining over you, you’ve been attracted to me, too? It took you all this time to make a move?”

  Sam shrugs again, and I want to smack the grin off his face and assault him with more affection all at once. “I was biding my time, waiting for you.”

  “Waiting for me to do what? Leave town?”

  He throws his head back. His laughter is like the most delightful melody I’ve ever heard. Not only does it bring a huge smile to my face, but it eases any anxieties I have.

  “It’s not funny, Sam.”

  “Oh, yes, it is. Look at you. You’re angry because I didn’t kiss you sooner.”

  “Well, yeah, I am! What exactly were you waiting for?”

  He takes my hand into his and caresses the top of it with his other one. “How do I put this so that it’s not offensive? I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. You’ve been stuck in this dreamlike state, muddling through life. I watched you come home from your crappy job every night and sulk to your front door. I wanted to see you happy for once. I’ve seen more spark in your eyes the past couple of weeks than I have the entire time I’ve lived next door to you. I was waiting for what I see in you now. And… I wanted to get to know you better before I put the moves on you. I knew that the woman you are today was inside there somewhere. She only needed to emerge.”

  I crawl onto Sam’s lap and straddle him. Placing an arm on each of his shoulders, I clasp my hands together behind his neck and pull him to me. Before bringing my lips to his, I ask him one more question. “Why did you keep calling us friends if you had stronger feelings for me?”

  “I was gauging your reaction.”

  “And, what did you learn from it?”

  “That you were getting frustrated with me,” he says.

  I nod. “I didn’t think you’d ever be attracted to me.”

  “Well, I am.”

  “Now that I know,” I say, “you’re in trouble.”

  Angling my head, I tease Sam with my lips and trace his with my tongue. I move my body on his, and he moans tenderly, which sends me soaring. I dip my tongue into his mouth and coil it around his. Sam’s hands tuck under each of my butt cheeks and he squeezes, sending a thrill through my body. Between heavy breaths, our kiss intensifies. I pull my head back, and his mouth falls onto my neck. My insides burst like fireworks when Sam nibbles on my earlobe.

  Without warning, Sam flips me around, and my back lands flat on the couch. I laugh as he awkwardly settles on top of me, but stop when his fingers trace my jaw. He whispers, “You’re so beautiful.”

  His mouth takes mine in a tender kiss, before heating back up. He raises my arms over my head and pins them to the armrest of the couch, and I melt into his every move, breathing him i
n and letting him take control.

  When I wake the next morning on the couch, Sam has me cradled in his arms. I take shallow breaths so I don’t wake him. I want to remain like this forever, my naked form tucked against his. Watching Otis walk across the hardwood floor, I rub Sam’s arm with the tip of my finger, memorizing every detail and line of his skin. Getting lost in my head, I think this is how Estherly must’ve felt about Henry and Oren. I’ve never felt for anyone as I do for Sam. He stirs, and I turn my body and end up face-to-face with him.

  “Good morning,” he smiles.

  “Hi,” I say, raising a hand to cover my mouth.

  Using his hand, Sam pulls mine from my lips. “You don’t have to worry about morning breath. I’m sure mine isn’t great either, but I don’t care.” He kisses the tip of my nose, and then with his index finger, he taps my cheeks, counting. “I love your freckles.”

  I giggle. “I love your scruff.”

  “I love your stunning eyes.”

  “And, I love your lips.” I chuckle.

  “Wow, we’re mushy.” He laughs.

  “I’m totally okay with that.”

  “Yeah, me, too.” He stays silent for a moment. “Ferrin!”

  “What?”

  “You’re really late for work.”

  “Umm, about that… when you were sleeping last night, I called Roger and left him a voicemail.”

  “Oh.”

  “I quit my job.”

  Sam’s eyes widen. “You did what?”

  “I quit.”

  An enormous grin crosses his face, and he comes in for a kiss. His lips leave mine, and I’m left yearning for more.

  “I can’t believe you quit.”

  I laugh. “Me, either, but you know it’s not like I don’t already have a job offer.”

  “Are you sure working with your boyfriend is going to be a good idea?” he asks.

  “My boyfriend, huh?”

  “Well, I was hoping—” he says, with one eyebrow raised.

  A flurry of happiness swells in my heart. “I think working with my boyfriend will work out fine for the time being. It’s only temporary until I find something I love.”