Diary of a Wimpy Czarovitch
Page 22
– 26 November 1914 – Uncle Ernie is still alive and we receive his letters from our neutral relatives throughout the world which they forward to Mama. It’s amazing what people are saying. Many Russians believe that my Aunt Ella is hiding Uncle Ernie in one of the Russian mansions. Mama laughed until she cried at this news because her emotions are always near the surface now that her loved ones lives are at risk. People can be so cruel calling my Mama, The Czarina of all the Russias, the German Bitch. If Ernest came here, would she help him? Wouldn't it be natural to do so? Abraham Lincoln let one of his sister-in-laws who lived in one of the recalcitrant states live with them for a short time in the White House to tend to his wife who was moody one moment and higher than a kite the next one often being accused of being a spy. Her Southern husband was killed in battle fighting against the Union forces and his wife Mary's half brothers and brother-in-laws fought for the South. Yet Lincoln wasn't lynched for harboring the enemy. Although until his martyrdom, his enemies said plenty of wicked things against him according to my tutors just like treasonous words are being spread home and abroad about my beloved Papa. Being a president or a sovereign is a lonely occupation rife with responsibility.
Perhaps Uncle Ernie's wearing a nun’s disguise at one of Aunt Ella's religious orders. Wouldn’t Uncle Ernie make a handsome nun with his large moustache? No doubt he'd have to shave several times a day so as not to form a five o'clock shadow which would give him away. What has become of his pitiable daughter whom I would like to meet when this gory war is over? Ella has always been intimidating and able to accomplish whatever she sets her mind to finish, but she’s as loyal to Russia now as I am. Those who suspect otherwise are simply barking up the wrong tree. Nonetheless it is quite a situation when one's loyalties to family and country are caught in the middle.
20 November 1914 – 3 December 1914 – The girls have built a large icy hill of snow and Mama has allowed me to ride down behind Olga on the toboggan if I promise to hold on tight and not to fall off. The dangerous part is climbing back up to the top, but I have on quilted pants and am padded in multiple layers of clothing. It’s unlikely that I’ll bruise myself, unless I do it on purpose as Dr. Botkin sometimes infers that I do. I think he’s becoming senile in his old age since surely by now he knows that I fear the bleeding times as much as he does. I'm the one who has to endure the pain and agony while laying inert in my bed.
23 November 1914 – 6 December 1914 – Grandmama dear has sent our Aunt Olga over
bearing gifts. She’s had some of her jewels reset in the latest fashion for her use and has given Olga and Tatiana some out of style jewelry to compensate for the necklaces they gave away to help our wounded Russian soldiers. How can jewelry designs go out of style? Olga says that she prefers the baroque jewelry to the new art nouveau designs anyway because, but Grandmama doesn’t. Sometimes I think that my oldest sister Olga acts older than Grandmama dear. Olga is a traditionalist and deplores change unlike Grandmama who is the first one to accept new fads and fashions if she doesn't create them first being quite the trendsetter. Grandmama loves the new floral designs and the styles of maidens in art along with their lithe young bodies which is sweeping the art world; she especially adores the new furniture with its delicate curves and is planning on furnishing one of her rooms at Annitchkov Palace with it and will give away some of her heavy dark furniture to a religious order where she says it now belongs. Perhaps Auntie Ella will be a recipient of our ancestor's furniture. Why not keep it all in the family Mama, on the other hand, isn’t nearly that fussy and spends less on her clothing and jewels than my Grandmama. She proved it once; to Grandmama’s consternation. Grandmama was not pleased when her bills for furs and gowns from Paris made the rounds amidst the other gossip of her court. Was Mama responsible or was it one of the Olga's who had gathered the explosive information? Somewhere a leak occurred and the startling information was leaked to the newspapers. Mama was happier than I'd ever seen her for years that season while it was Grandmama's turn to glower.
24 November 1914 – 27 November 1914 – Mama loves making the decisions when Papa is away. Some of the ministers are terrified of her. She says that one smells of Veronal which he must take in order to calm his nerves before he meets with her. It’s surprising to me that my gentle mother can intimidate anyone, but again, they don’t know her the way that I do. They weren’t nursed as tenderly as I was by her since birth. They haven't seen her waiting patiently for hours at my bedside while I finished my beef bouillon and toast being coaxed by her.
25 November 1914 – 26 November 1914 – Rumors are surfacing that Papa Grigory has lost his mystical powers. His drinking has increased as a result and he now spends his time amusing himself at clubs. I hope this is merely a wild tale. I read a letter from my staretz telling Mama that no Romanoff must injure or kill him. If he dies at the hand of one of my relatives, there will be no peace in Russia for a generation and that brothers and cousins will kill each other. Mama believes our Rasputin is a prophet and is trying to warn her relatives against harming him.
Beautiful Cousin Irina has married Felix Yousopouv who is the richest man in Russia, however, I don’t think that this summation counts Papa. Papa gave her a bag of diamonds for a wedding present. Will she use them to make a necklace or another tiara in Belle Epoque style? Grandmama says that she already has plenty of them which she inherited. Why did they need another wedding present anyway when they already have palaces and jewels and one of the greatest art collections in Russia? Perhaps they should have made a donation to the poor orphans of Russia in their behalf. But when I commented on this to Anastasia she asked me: "How many diamond cufflinks, watches and gold badges have you donated to the poor recently Alexei?
Olga and Tatiana said that Irina looked just like a fairy princess at her wedding. Some
say that Felix did also. I wondered what that meant so I asked Papa. Papa says that Felix likes to dress up in women’s clothing and has since he's been a toddler. Mama says that she never would have let one of her daughters marry the dissolute adventurer. Anastasia heard rumors that Uncle Ernie and two of our Great Uncles have unusual tastes as well. Is this why Aunt Ella never had any children? Mama won't answer any more questions about it and always changes the subject. Papa will tell me more when I am older he's promised. By that time, my sister Anastasia will have discovered everyone's secrets.
1 December 1914 – 14 December 1914 – Christmas is almost here. Cook is preparing steamed English puddings and fruitcakes like they have in England which must age for a week or two in the cellar wrapped in brandy and cheese cloth. Served with lemon sauce or brandy sauce, they are simply scrumptious. I got to lick the bowls with Anastasia and I can hardly wait. The entire first floor of the palace smells delicious.
Anastasia and I have made handmade Christmas cards with lots of angels with glitter on on them and paper cutouts to attach to our gifts. I am getting excited for Christmas. Mama has hidden presents in the outbuildings and in the attics of the palace. Will I get my heart’s desire this year? Mama made me write her a list of the things that I would like to see under our Christmas tree so that I will not be disappointed on Christmas day. I have never been disappointed. I am rather spoiled according to Anastasia and she's right. However since Germany is at war perhaps the lavish toy and doll market have dried up. Will science kits from England be as complete as those created in Germany? I definitely want a science laboratory so that I can do experiments with it like Sherlock Holmes. I have already begun my cigarette and cigar ash collection as well as one containing perfume samples.
My professors have helped me compose poems for Mama and Papa, but Anastasia’s funny limericks are best. I worry about the soldiers in the trenches. Will the fighting cease on Christmas Eve as well as on Christmas Day? I hope so. Let there be peace on earth, good will towards men. At least for a few days stop the killing and blood letting. My sisters and I listen to Christmas music on Mama’s phonograph and we ev
en hum the beautiful German’s song of Silent Night. Mama is praying for Ernie’s safety and she has tried to make peace with Aunt Ella and others in the family including Grandmama. Mama’s stubborn, but she knows what is right and honestly tries to always do the right thing. She plans on having a Christmas tree in our family quarters because we've always had one, even if it is a German custom and we're likely to be criticized for it. She says that her gangun always had one and we will pretend that it is an American as well as an English custom.
Strands of electric lights with tiny bubbles boil when they’re plugged into an electric wall socket have been given to us from some merchants. They’re truly amazing as is electric circuitry. The palaces we most often live in have now been wired for electricity and have generators installed in the cellars. Mama has pulled out boxes of heirloom glass ornaments from her home in Hesse-Darmstadt. They’re very fragile and have been passed down throughout her family for ages. Some are handblown glass which is very fragile so they're always wrapped in tissue paper. Mama